So, just when Sehun thought he was the most delusional being in the universe… there came Tao.

“No,” said Sehun.

“Yes,” said Tao.

“Nooooo,” said Sehun.

“Yeeeees,” said Tao. “I will marry Teacher Wufan.”

“But you don’t know if he is gay! Weren’t you straight?”

“Who said that?” asked Tao arching an eyebrow.

“Well you said you weren’t gay!” exclaimed Sehun, desperately moving his arms in the air. Tao was seriously driving him nuts.

“I’m not,” said Tao.

“What… WHAT? WHAT ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT THEN?”

“Me… marrying Wufan,” said Tao matter-of-factly.

Sehun rubbed his temples. “Then, Zitao, how does marrying Wufan doesn’t make you gay?”

“Oh no, no. I’m bi!” he said smiling.

“That… that’s a shocker…” said Sehun feeling like Chicken Little when he thought the sky would fall on him.

“So you will help me?” asked Tao happily, which was scarier than when he said it with a serious face.  

“How am I supposed to help you marry Wufan?” asked Sehun sarcastically. But Tao didn’t seem to notice the ironic intonation of his speech.

“Easy!” he exclaimed and pulled from his pocket a crumpled sticky note. He straightened it as best as he could. “First... we need to make him love me. Second, we have a first date. Third, we marry.” Sehun realized he had been reading a To Do checklist.

“That’s your plan?”

“Yeah!”

“Doesn’t it need more detail… more planning perhaps?”

“No. I’ts better if we do not complicate things. ‘Kay?”

“But life is complicated Tao. You need to learn that.”

Tao shrugged. “I think life is just a ball of things happening and then you die.”

“Charming, Tao. Charming…”

…

Luhan hated doors. All doors should open on both directions so then he would feel like a cowboy. But no, doors were not like that. As usual he pushed the office’s door instead of pulling it open. And Jongdae laughed like an idiot.

Yeah, yeah joke of the year. Luhan just smiled politely as he walked to his desk. He still wasn’t used at how things ran around the school.

 “Luhan!” said Suho as his head pokes from the doorway, there was a happy smile on his face. “We are so glad you are back!” Now he was standing on his door.

“Yeah. I’m glad the cold is over. Now we can get back on track right?”

“Yes. Wufan… he really is not a good cook and he was the only one that accepted to help me at the cooking club. I’m really happy you are back.”

“Yeah…” was all Luhan could add.

“Oh and we have a new member in the club.”

“Really?”

“Yeah you’ll meet him this afternoon so yeah. See you then?”

“Of course.”

Suho disappeared from his office and Luhan sighed. Hopefully he was a normal guy… with no super cute face. No, Luhan, do not think about the stupid face! 

Luhan went to the floor and sat on a yoga position. He repeated his mantra several times: Don't be a child molester. Don't be a child molester. Don't be a child molester.

…

Sehun sat straighter than straight on his chair when dear Luhan walked in, a quick blush spreading on his face as he smiled brightly. There were so many things he liked about Luhan, his face, the way his eyes shrunk as he smiled, how his nose got wrinkly… He hated though how he didn’t look at him when he called his name. Luhan definitely hated him and that made him see half empty glasses instead of half full glasses.

His life was definitely miserable which wasn't helping the fact that Sehun tended to be moody. But the worst thing of all was that Tao was staring at him with those cat like eyes. They felt like daggers on his skin and Sehun was sure he could feel his stare even if he stood miles away. But he was actually sitting right next to him.

“What’s wrong with you?” asked Tao, out of the blue.

“Nothing,” said Sehun, shifting on his chair.

“Why are you nervous?”

“I’m not nervous,” he responded but Tao narrowed his eyes.

Sehun cleared his throat and decided to ignore him. The last thing he wanted was that Tao learned about his crush. But Tao… Tao was a perceptive guy.

“So let’s get to page 34 on the chapter about health and hygiene!” said Luhan merrily as he wrote on the board.

A few seconds later, Tao began to flick Sehun’s ear.

“What the hell,” said Sehun softly but Tao was already looking at the board as if nothing had happened. Sehun looked at the front again but then Tao flicked his ear again.

“Would you stop!” he hissed softly but Tao paid no attention.

After a minute of glaring at Tao, Sehun looked at the lovely Luhan so he could resume his daydreaming in peace when Tao flicked his ear two times.

“Oh my God! Can’t you stop that!” said Sehun standing up from his desk.

Obviously, all eyes went to him, including Luhan’s.

“Are you okay Sehun?” asked Luhan. The teacher's eyes met his and they were so full of concern that Sehun wanted to walk up and slam his two hands on both of his cheeks and squeeze them through eternity.

And maybe his face...

“I-I’m sorry…” said Sehun with his reddening cheeks and sat back down. He turned his head to glare at Tao but his look of hatred faltered. Tao stared back with his mouth hanging open and an arched eyebrow.

Oh no…

…

Kai hated it.

Kai hated how Kyungsoo got along with Suho.

How he laughed easily and all that... bromance.

And now he felt weird how Suho’s attention suddenly rested on him. Little smiles, a wink here and there and now he even turned him into his pet. Math teachers were trully evil.

“What are you doing?” asked Kyungsoo from behind him. Kai was startled for he thought he would be alone doing the stupid teacher’s work.

“Ah! D.O.! Why do you come so quietly?” he said.

“Where you doing naughty things here?” asked Kyungsoo with an easy smile. “That’s why you got startled?”

“No! I was just bringing these boxes here for Teacher Suho… And I wasn’t startled!”

“Okay. Okay, fine. You weren’t startled,” he said putting another box by the counter of the cooking classroom, a little smirk on his face.

“You are helping him too?” asked Kai.

“Yeah, I usually do,” said Kyungsoo rubbing his hands together.

Kai nodded silently. He awkwardly kicked at nothing, just to waist some internal energy that made him shake and move nervously.

“So…” started Kai, looking down at his foot.

“Do you really like Suho?” blurted Kyungsoo.

“What?”

“Do you really like Suho?” asked Kyungsoo, slowly this time.

“No! I don’t.  He is like… too old for me. And for you," he added.

"He is not that old," he murmured. Kyungsoo mused for a minute. “But you do like Sehun.”

“I-I… I guess I do.”

“Okay,” said Kyungsoo with a sweet smile that made his eyes disappear.Yet that smile didn’t form any smile lines. Kai thougth it was a forced smile.

“Yeah,” responded Kai. “And you like Suho, right? That’s why you ask? Right...?”

Kyungsoo sighed as if leaving out a heavy loud.  He completly turned towards the taller boy's direction. His head tilted to the right and he squinted at Kai. “What if I did, Jongin?”

The sound of his actual name on Kyungsoo's lips made Kai's skin crawl. Kai opened his mouth several times trying to guess what the hell he wanted to say. He finally pointed at him. “You really like him, don't you?”

“I didn’t say I like him.”

“So you... don’t?”

“I didn’t say I didn’t either.”

Kai groaned. “Aaaah. You are so confusing!”

“Actually, you are confusing,” he said but he didn't let process the comment when he spoke again. “Anyway, what did you brought in?”

“I think it is chocolate frosting. I think we are doing yet another cake.”

Kyungsoo chuckled. “It’s obvious Teacher Lu came back. He loves desserts.”

“Yeah,” said Kai.

“Hey,” said Kyungsoo with a strange glimmer on his eyes, one Kai was sure he had never seen. “Want to try out the frosting?”

“Huh?”

Kyungsoo placed his back on the counter and lifted himself up to sit on top. He pulled some frosting from the boxes. “I like frosting,” he said. He dipped his finger in the frosting and then cleaned the chocolete off of it.

Kai’s eyes felt like popping out. “D.O.! This isn’t sanitary!”

“I know,” he responded.

“And this is for the club.”

“I know.”

“And… that is so not like you.”

“No, it’s like you,” he dipped his finger again. “You want to try it?” he asked.

Kai sat next to him and dipped his finger inside. Kai never noticed how Kyungsoo gulped, how his Addam apple moved up and down, and Kai just wouldn’t think about it. He his finger and thought that these were just side effects of his, lately, lack of life.

They kept on eating the chocolate frosting and soon they were giggling like little girls that were doing naughty things.

Kyungsoo stared at Kai for a moment. “Hey you got…” He tilted his head closer to Kai’s face and the taller boy felt like the oxygen was running out.

Why was it running out? Who was the bastard cutting his precious air?

Kai rubbed his lips.

“Wait, let me just…” Kyungsoo wiped a stain with his pinky finger from the edge of Kai’s lips and grinned a little. “There,” he said huskily and he the stain off his finger.

And Kai thought it was the iest thing he has seen in his life.

After Kyungsoo realized what he just did, his eyes bulged out as it had been totally inappropriate.

“I-I think we should be going,” Kyungsoo half exclaimed, half screamed. He stood up straight and closed the lid of the frosting. He proceeded to thoroughly wash his hands. “Um, ah, you know I’m blaming you right?”

Kai chuckled. “I know.”

…

“I will do him,” said Tao looking from a second floor of the school building. Sehun was with him. He was lately stuck with him all the time since the dynamic duo of the now proclaimed Baekyeol were always busy and God knew what Kai was doing with Suho and how he was stalking Kyungsoo at the same time.

Sehun looked down to see teacher Wu playing basketball. “He would do you. I don't think your biual body can even get on top of him. And, I don’t think that he would do you in the near future.”

“I swear that his arms are the meaning of . Oh, look at him flex…”

“Jesus,” said Sehun sighing. He turned around and placed his back to the wall as he read some book for Chinese class.

“Look! Is teacher Lu in a sleeveless shirt!” screamed Tao all of a sudden.

‘Where?!” exclaimed Sehun as he jumped to look by the window.

“Nowhere,” said Tao with a little smirk.

Sehun felt his cheeks flush. “You are an idiot,” he murmured as he stomped away.

Tao got him. The black haired boy looked down to see teacher Wu looking up at the window, his hand reaching his brow to block the sun. He stared up for a second as if trying to make out who was there when Tao waved happily at him.

"Yoohoo! Teacher Wu!" he called shamelessly.

Wufan shook his head and went back to play.

...

In the next period, Tao suddenly turned around on his desk to face Baekhyun and Chanyeol who had been making ink tattoos with their pens on each other’s arms.

“Pst,” he said, grabbing their attention. He drew a slow smile on his face.

“Yes?” says Baekhyun.

“I was wondering about teacher Lu… He is hot…”

“Didn’t you like Wufan?” asked Chanyeol, still doodling on Baekhyun's arm.

“You cannot like him!” exclaimed Baekhyun with wide eyes. 

One corner of Tao’s mouth twitched a little. “$50 says Sehun won’t be a by the end of this week.”

Chanyeol and Baekhyun looked at Tao with puzzled expressions.

“What are you talking about?” asked Baekhyun.

“Who told you he was a ? Wasn't it a secret?” asked Chanyeol.

Baekhyun smacked Chanyeol’s head.

Tao grinned. “And I’ll add $50 more if it is with Luhan.”

“Pfffft. Sehun is too shy to even confess to him and-” said Chanyeol.

“Chanyeol!” exclaimed Baekhyun. “Could you just stop talking?”

Tao chuckled. This was just what he needed. “Let’s bet. I think I can make it happen.”

“Why? What’s in it for you?” asked Baekhyun.

“Nothing, just more funds for a Gucci bag… for my mom.”

                                                                                                      …                                        

“Happy first two weeks!” exclaimed Minseok as he found Luhan by the hallway.

“Oh, uh, thanks?” said Luhan.

“So since it is your first two weeks anniversary, and since you were sick for your first week, we are going out drinking!”

“Drinking? Oh no. I- I can’t.”

“You can’t? Of course you can! Everyone is going! I’ll invite the first round!”

“Oh. It’s just that… I’m not a good drinker and…”

Minseok cut him off with a loud laugh. “Don’t worry we will be there. You think we would let you fall victim of any mishap?”

“Actually…”

“I won’t accept no for an answer.”

“Um…”

“Yes! Okay, see you at 9, we are going to the Red Hound bar so don’t be late!” he exclaimed as he walked away.

That was a nice way to let a guy have choices. Luhan walked away wondering what to wear for his doom day. He was the kind  of guy that drank one glass and was already seeing double and... a green pig. There was always a damn green pig in his drunk hallucinations. Stupid green pig! 

“Red Hound…” said Tao from his hidden corner. “Ugly name…” Still a little smile appeared on his face. His plotting mind was already on wire.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yep... Sorry... what else can I say for taking so long... I am having a terrible semester... Y.Y And yeah my brain is fried so the chapter is not that good, nor funny XD BUT I have a couple of ideas in mind so bear with me and the none funny chapters... pretty please T.T I love funny stuff and I felt pain writting this but it is sort of like a prelude of what will happen next  ;) Which hopefully won't be dissapointing! Hopefully...