You weren’t talking to your Umma. She had hidden it from you. The fact that Mrs. Kim had thrown away her past life with her husband for a younger man. Jae was always over at your house now that his mother was being open about her relationship. Yoochun would walk in like he lived there. He would bring gifts to try and win Jaejoong over, but Jaejoong just couldn’t accept him. He didn’t want a new father, and accepting Yoochun would be like moving on. He didn’t want to move on; he wanted to hold onto his pain until it broke him.

You and Yooeun tried to cheer him up by doing various things in the club. She cooked anything she could think of, and while you held Changmin back, he sampled them. It took his mind away from things, but he still kept his grimace. You hated that face. Any face of Jaejoong’s that wasn’t happy, or fun, or caring was wrong! You started singing, and Changmin joined in. Soon everyone was singing odd songs. When Changmin’s voice cracked when you all sang a high note everyone burst out laughing. Jaejoong still covering his mouth.

At home, with Jaejoong lying on your bed while you read a book on the floor beside him, you saw his mother walking in. She blushed. She giggled. She acted like a love-struck teenager. Jaejoong, just not having the heart to look at her or the man. You, trying to fight back your anger. And Yooeun actually releasing a bit of the pain he held. Why couldn’t you do that? Why couldn’t you sacrifice everything you had, for him to smile again?

You heard Jaejoong’s breaths become shallow. He had fallen asleep. You would ask you dad later to let him stay. You closed your book so you could watch the sleeping Jae. His face was calm, not scrunched up to show his displeasure. His eyes actually had life in them, even though they were closed. Each breath he took made you feel as if nothing could go wrong. You quickly scolded yourself for thinking that way again. You had given up on such naïve thoughts! You would always be on the lookout for the unexpected.

You made a sour frown. He was smiling in his sleep; you didn’t want him to wake up from his dream. You got up to tell your Appa about Jaejoong, but you saw Yunho at your door. “What is oppa?” He smiled at you.

He held up two tickets. “I just bought these tickets for you and Jaejoong. Take him to the amusement park net Sunday and help him cheer up!” He gave you the tickets and left. You blindly stared at the tickets. They were like an invitation for a date. They were date tickets. You would go on your first ‘date’ with Jaejoong! You jumped with glee! It wasn’t an elegant jump, and your feet landed on the floor with a thud, causing Jaejoong to wake.

“Uhm, Yooeun?” He called out sleepily. You hid the tickets away in the back pocket of your pants.

“Silly boo, you are at my house, not Yooeun’s.” You calmly cooed to him. He yawned and shook his head. He blinked at your overhead light before bowing.

“Sorry, I was just remembering my dream.” You froze. His dream. The dream that was making him smile. The dream that caused him to call for Yooeun in your house when waking. What had he dreamt about? Of course he told you, you whom had a very questioning look on your face.

“It was about Yooeun. We were going around eating in all the restaurants. It was very fun.” You cringed on the inside. He was having a dream date. With another girl.

“I think I love her.” You had your back to him when one tear trickled down your face. Discreetly wiping it away, you turned to him.

“Go for it, I’m right behind you.”

Push

Only you and Yooeun hadn’t made it to club yet. You were both slowly walking because of the hard exercise you did today in Phys Ed. You were going to do it today. You had chosen to do this, but it felt like you were being forced by someone inside yourself you didn’t know. You wanted him to be happy. You needed him to be happy. You both grabbed your bags and made your way to your clubroom. You slowly bent your head towards her. “Yooeun?” She looked at you. “Are you free this Sunday?”

She nodded her head, still tired from earlier. “Then will you take these tickets? They’re to an amusement park. I was going to go, but something came up. I really wanted to help Jaejoong feel better, but I can’t go. This would be a great way of cheering him up, will you go with him?” She smiled deeply. Her body seemed to gain energy as you told her about the ‘date’.

“That is such a great idea! I would love to go!” She saw your face, a little disappointed. “Are you sure you can’t make it?” You nodded your head weakly. “Then thank you for this opportunity.” She bowed and took the tickets from you. When you entered the classroom she quickly ran over to Jaejoong.

He smiled at her, as she was erupting with energy. “What is it Yooeun?”

She hugged him. Her hugged pulled you away; your mind blocked it off. You couldn’t believe what you had just done. You gave away your chance to become closer with Jaejoong. You were stupid enough to give that chance to the only person that could take him away from you. ‘He’s mine! ‘He’s Mine! HE’S MINE!’ You were about to grab her away when she told him about their ‘date’. But you couldn’t do that, because he had smiled again.

You were disgusted with yourself. Disgusted that you would ever think of such a selfish thing. To take away his happiness. To take away another one of his loves. Yunho looked at you with a raised eyebrow, but you only shrugged. You couldn’t do anything else, your mind was blank.