“Yunho sunbae, when will I ever see you again?” Yunho sighed. Yooeun had spent the last three years following Yunho around. You always had to comfort Jaejoong when he saw what she was doing. When he begged you to teach him how to talk to girls. He didn’t see you as a woman.

Yunho gave her a hug. Jaejoong growled lowly, inaudible to anyone but you. You held his hand tightly, never wanting to let go. You were afraid he would hurt Yunho out of jealousy. “Yooeun, you can just visit me at my house whenever you want. I am just going to a local University.” You laughed. He said “local” but we lived in Seoul. He was going to Seoul University. She nodded, starting to sniffle.

Changmin gave you and Yooeun a bear hug. “Aish, I can’t believe such beautiful girls are here to see me off!” You and Yooeun giggled. What did he mean by seeing off, you were just saying goodbye to them before you went home. “It was so much fun to be with you guys the past five years!”

Jaejoong slunk to the back of the farewell party. He whispered into your ear. “------ I am losing her. Yooeun is going to keep following Yunho-hyung. Help me win her over.” Your heart lurched. Why did he have to keep asking you to do things that hurt so much? He was such a K-Y. You were tired of always holding him up. Tired of helping him love someone else. Tired of always being forgotten. You just wanted him to look at you with the same eyes of love as he did for Yooeun. You were tired of loving him, ready to give up.

Push

“Jaejoong, I don’t want to eat anything else, why don’t you give it to -------?” Jaejoong, with your advice, had been giving Yooeun his cookings for the past year. “I know you can cook, you don’t need to rub it in my face.” Yooeun knew she wouldn’t be able to get into college. She decided that if she couldn’t follow Yunho to University she would just follow her dream. Instead of focusing on her studies like you and Jaejoong had, she was searching for a building to turn into her restaurant. She was going to live like she had always dreamed.

You were so good at making things up; your teacher thought it would be good for you to become a fiction novelist. Jaejoong was told, with his eye for detail, he would make a good journalist. You didn’t care what the teacher said. You hadn’t given up on Jaejoong completely and you wanted to stay near him as long as possible. You had considered this was the reason why he was never able to win Yooeun’s heart. She must have seen you as too big a threat and never tried. You were a leech. You were taking away all of his happiness. But he was your drug, your source of energy. You couldn’t stay away from him. Your heart was splitting. Did you want him more than you wanted him to be happy? You wanted him more, but you wouldn’t be able live with yourself know you had taken away his little happiness. His love for Yooeun was just a reason. A reason for him to smile.