Summer of 2006

Ga-in’s house, Kangnam District

“your parents are in the province, and you’re the only one left in this house. Will that be okay to you?” leeteuk asked Ga-in as he stepped outside the house.

“of course it’ll be okay.” Ga-in assured him. “we have camera surveillances here, I’d be fine.”

Leeteuk looked around to observe the camera blinking at the door step.

“no you won’t. why don’t you just let me stay there for a while?”

“are you kidding me?” ga-in used both of her hands to pinch leeteuk’s cheeks. “my house is close to the slums, your father won’t like the idea of you staying here.”

Leeteuk sighed.

“I’ll give you guards, or nurses.” He suggested. How he disliked his father’s overprotective attitude little by little.

“aigoo.” Ga-in pouted. “like I said, I’d be fine. We’ve been like this five times and nothing ever happens to me.”

“I’m just worried.” Leeteuk said, holding her hand. “I’d be away too for treatment and I don’t like it if I don’t communicate with you well.”

“don’t worry about me, worry about yourself.” Ga-in shook her head. “you’re sick and you’ll be needing operation. It’ll be good once you’re okay so your activities won’t be that limited.”

Leeteuk was assigned for a heart surgery to work upon his damaged valves.

“okay fine, but make sure you call me when something happens. Okay?” leeteuk bit his lip in concern.

“yes, boss.” Ga-in gently shoved him away. “now off you go, its getting late. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Leeteuk smiled and kissed his girlfriend in the cheek.

“I’ll call you when I get home.” he said.

---------------------------

Park Manor 3:00 am

Leeteuk rolled out of his bed and he could hear his heart thumping irregularly. Every time it happened, he would almost stay up all night because he wouldn’t be able to sleep due to the caffeine like effects of the heart beat.

He walked over to his personal refrigerator for some water to keep himself hydrated. He was told by doctor song to be in water therapy for his diet. Leeteuk rummaged his hand through his bangs as he drank the contents of the bottle he retrieved from the fridge. He wondered what Ga-in was doing for the moment, maybe drifting away in her dreams, he thought. They just finished talking together on the phone when Ga-in purposely cut their conversation because she was sleepy.

Should he call her to tell that he doesn’t feel sleepy? Leeteuk shook his head. He knew that Ga-in will get mad at him for disturbing her in her sleep.

KNOCK KNOCK

Leeteuk cringed his brows. Who would be awake at this moment of time?

“yes?” leeteuk opened the door and was surprised to see 18 year old hyoyeon outside his room, eyes were all puffed and reddish.

“hyo, what’s wrong?” he asked, drying up her tears. Hyoyeon choked and immediately had the instinct to hug her brother.

“oppa, I’m sorry.”

“sorry? Why are you sorry?” leeteuk smiled, rubbing her back. “did you steal my car again?”

“no.”

“then, what is it? tell me?” he chuckled.

Hyoyeon let go of his embrace and heaved out a huge deal of breath.

“ga-in unni…”

“what about ga-in?” leeteuk asked, raising his brow.

“she…. She….”

Hyoyeon cannot help but to sob hysterically.

“hyo, WHAT’S WRONG?” leeteuk touched his heart and he could feel the rhythm of his beat thumping irregularly than ever.

Hyoyeon rubbed her eyes.

“ga-in unni.” She choked as leeteuk stared at her innocently. “there were burglars that went to her house an hour ago. She was killed.”

---------------------------

Kangnam District Hospital

Leeteuk’s POV

I felt like I’m floating, I cannot feel my feet as I walked through the halls of the emergency room, searching for her. eyes of the public feasted on me as I move pass through them, probably pitying me to death. I felt numb, my heart beating frantically and irregularly but I cannot deal with it now.

I saw a doctor standing on the last curtain of the emergency room, staring at a person draped in a white cloth, with blood stains mostly on the heart. I stopped once he gave me a signal to halt.

“we had her resuscitated, but she was stabbed many times, resulting to massive bleeding. We’re very sorry.”

I closed my eyes, and hoped that I just drifted away to somewhere else. I touched the cloth and pulled it open. I saw Ga-in’s bloated face and blood stained body greeting me in response.

 

I screamed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seoul Hospital, 2011

Taeyeon’s POV

“can you tell me anything about park jungsu’s condition?” I asked doctor song.

“what do you want to know?”

“everything.” I blurted. If I wasn’t careful, I would have made matters worse. I could have him killed.

Doctor song intertwined his fingers.

“do you know something about a human heart?”

“human heart?” I smiled, I wasn’t named “best in science” for anything.

“heart as a pumping organ with four chambers.” I said,rubbing my cheek. “what else?”

“valvular insufficiency.” Doctor song agreed on me and carried on with his lesson. “its what leeteuk has right now which was passed on to him by his mom. Apparently, he was the only one who inherited that trait so his siblings were all particularly normal.”

“insufficient valves where?” I asked.

“aortic valves at first, but I’m still looking at the pulmonic valve related to the lungs. I had a recent test that confirmed its also a candidate for insufficiency.” Doctor song said.

Taeyeon didn’t know what to say.

“so what do we do, are there treatments?” i asked.

“surgery is the only best option we could give.” Doctor song said. “but we cant do it right now.”

He sighed. There must be something that went on to have the surgery postponed.

“why?”

“he issued an affidavit that he will be requiring no surgeries from any doctors ever since 2006.”

 Doctor song answered.

I bit my lip in dismay. He shouldn’t have been doing this to himself. He’s slowly killing his body.

“so that’s why he’s undergoing medicinal trials, you say?” I mused, crossing my arms.

“ne.”

“can there be ways that he agrees on surgery?” I questioned. Gosh, leeteuk, I doubt anyone can force you to surgery because of your hardheadedness.

“if he cancels the affidavit himself.” Doctor song said.

I watched him stood up and went to open the curtains behind me. I saw leeteuk already in his white and green mini polka dotted hospital gown, fast asleep.

“we will be transferring him to a private room in minutes.” Doctor song told me.

-------------------------

Seoul Hospital, Private room

Taeyeon yawned as she signed the form the nurse had given her. it was good thing that she brought the notebook with her, or else she wouldn’t put a thing in leeteuk’s basic information.

“thankyou.” The nurse said when she was done signing. Taeyeon bowed to pay her respect.

“um, yes?” taeyeon inclined her head as the health care professional stared at her in awe.

“you’re a very nice girlfriend to him here.” The nurse blurted.

“annyeo, I’m not the girlfriend.” Taeyeon smiled, raising her hands. Where is his family when you needed them? She thought.

“really? That’s a waste then, you match together.” The nurse said.

Taeyeon raised her eyebrow as the nurse darted off the room.

“aish.” Taeyeon whispered as she looked upon leeteuk’s peaceful face. “do I really look like your girlfriend?”

Leeteuk’s head moved a little as she cupped her own chin with a palm.

“well, we both have brown hair, skin and bangs. Which is really coincidental.” She smiled, looking at him. “but I think I’m prettier than you.”

Taeyeon imagined herself what would leeteuk say if he were awake that time. He would probably be expressionless or would have been muttering something unpleasant. Taeyeon laughed at herself to erase her thoughts.

“I’m really sorry out there, what I said earlier.” She said gently. “I should be looking more at your background before telling you anything.”

If she had known that leeteuk had a past, she wouldn’t have been telling him sort of things that could possibly endanger him. But then again, the notebook she consulted didn’t mention anything about leeteuk’s past love or his medical condition.

“maybe your dad wanted me to check on you more single handedly than consulting this notebook, huh?” she added, yawning again. it was past eight in the evening and she hadn’t had dinner yet. Mister Park called her to tell him that he cannot come for some emergency meeting matters regarding his company.

Leeteuk’s eyebrows cringed as taeyeon checked on his dextrose supply.

“you must be really dreaming bad.” She noticed, observing him. Without hesitation, she held leeteuk’s hand and was surprised at the sudden feeling it caused.

“I wonder what your dream is, you must be holding on to something.” Taeyeon concluded as leeteuk’s fingers formed a tight grip on hers.

The door of the private room opened as taeyeon kept herself absentminded at the look of her and leeteuk’s hand.

“oy, first aid kit girl.”

“huh?”

Taeyeon immediately hid her and leeteuk’s intertwined hands under the bed cover.

“pharmacy guy and pharmacy girl.” Taeyeon blurted upon seeing the faces of kyuhyun and seohyun. The couple wore matching blue and white jackets except that the guy was holding onto a basket of tropical fruits.

“so you two really know each other.” Seohyun referred to her and leeteuk as kyuhyun ushered her to take a seat and went to place the basket of fruits on the nearby table.

Taeyeon shook her head.

“not really, more like coincidence.” she said, embarrassed. “he’s my classmate and I saved his father so he particularly sponsored me to study the same school as park jungsu.”

“wow, sponsoring, that thing really exists huh?” seohyun cupped in amazement.

Kyuhyun laughed.

“so that’s the reason why you asked for a first aid kit back then.” He said, putting an arm around his wife. “and leeteuk actually paid for that kit as seeing that you don’t have enough money to pay for it.”

Taeyeon nodded. Up to now, she was still in wonder why on earth leeteuk paid the kit for her.

“ne.” she continued, bowing her head.

“see, seo, leeteuk is nice.” Kyuhyun said. seohyun smiled too and looked at taeyeon.

“um…”

Taeyeon didn’t know what to say next this time.

“I’m… my name is kim taeyeon, sorry If I fail to introduce myself early.” she said.

“I’m kyuhyun, leeteuk’s bestfriend and childhood friend.” He said, waving. “and this is my wife, seohyun.”

“mwo, wife?” taeyeon was astounded.

“yes, wife, why?”

“how old are you guys anyways?” taeyeon asked.

“I’m twenty five and seo’s twenty three.” Kyuhyun smiled. “if you’re thinking how on earth we got married that early, were actually under an arranged marriage.”

“huh? So there are still fixed marriages in korea today.” Taeyeon realized. “good thing that it worked for you anyways.”

“ne, my husband is really nice so its not a problem.” Seohyun leaned her head on kyuhyun’s shoulder.

Taeyeon watched as the two looked at each other in the eye and sometimes it wondered her how come she hasn’t find the right one for her. she had been in previous relationships but nothing really worked out well because of her dedication to her siblings and guys she like would always want to court rich girls. Taeyeon shook her head and felt sudden hunger pangs in her stomach.

“unni, you’re hungry.” Seohyun noticed.

“huh, what?” taeyeon looked so embarrassed, she would have scolded her stomach if it were a person. “um, sorry, I was with leeteuk the whole day, I haven’t eaten dinner yet.”

“you can have dinner downstairs, we’ll just take care of him here.” Kyuhyun said.

Taeyeon nodded, gently loosened her hand on leeteuk’s and tucked the latter’s hand under the cover.

“I’ll be back, okay?”she whispered, patting the bed.

She stood up and hauled her backpack.

“Kamsamnida.” She bowed at the couple. “I’ll return as soon as I can.”

Taeyeon smiled and headed for the door.

“such a sweet girl.” Seohyun said.

---------------------

Hospital Café

Taeyeon’s POV

Hospital food is so expensive nowadays. Why o why? The last time I was in the hospital was when kangin got operated for appendicitis and I really worked over time at the meat market just to pay hospital bills. Thinking of meat really starves me to death.

I chose to eat vegetable salad since it’s the least expensive, I think I would just have to satisfy my hunger pangs by drinking a lot of hot tea. Not really that I can’t afford anything, in fact I already had my advance allowance but I always assume that its better to be thrifty just in case me my siblings cause trouble. Its really cold nowadays and I’m thinking how on earth leeteuk would survive this kind of weather if it slows down his breathing. Thinking again of leeteuk, whew, holding hands must have produced the effect.

“unni.”

“fany?” I glanced up on my styro packed vegetable salad and saw tiffany and siwon heading towards me. I would appreciate siwon coming over because he’s a friend of leeteuk’s. but fany? Should couples really tag along each other?

“you’re here?” I asked, scratching my head. Oh yeah, big deal. They’re a couple, how would tiffany not find out.

“are you okay? How’s leeteuk oppa?” tiffany asked me. siwon bowed as the two took their seat.

“he’s better, they got him tranquilized.” I said as I crumpled a big lettuce to my mouth. “where’s kangin anyways?”

“at the villa, I just found out when we headed home.” tiffany said. “unni.”

“yeah?” I asked, looking up. The more I look at them, the more I notice how lonesome I am to be a single woman.

“you better get home after you eat.” Siwon said, as tiffany ushered him to speak.

“mwo? what are you talking about, I’m staying here.” I blurted, using all the last contents of the salad dressing. “I got your friend harmed, so I will be with him for a while til he gets better.”

“that’s the problem, unni.” Tiffany bit her lip. “hyoyeon will be here soon, and eunhyuk oppa told siwon oppa to tell you that you must stay away or else she’ll get back to you.”

Its been a while since I haven’t seen the blonde girl hyoyeon, the one who started the mess by ripping tiffany’s dress apart.

“I’m not scared, she doesn’t know anything.” I said.

“taeyeon ssi, you know hyoyeon, she’s a bit of a gangster when it comes to everything.” Siwon told me. “most especially his brother.”

I crumpled another batch of lettuce to my mouth.

“I’m taking care of his brother for her, okay?” I said, shaking my head. “aish, what are you guys, you came here just to tell me that?”

“to visit leeteuk oppa too.” Tiffany said, embarrassed. she patted her sister’s shoulder. “I will be there too, just incase hyoyeon pulls your hair.”

“I can defend myself.” I smiled at tiffany. Really, these guys shouldn’t be worrying about me. I was the kim family’s protector for years. Guys don’t match my wits. Well, all of guys except one. And he’s on the hospital bed right now, curing his sickness. Gosh, really don’t know why such a guy exists.

“I was told that you rode a car with leeteuk this morning.” siwon said, changing the topic.

“yeah.” I nodded. “why?”

“did you notice any peculiar thing with him this morning?”

“what am I, a spy?” I laughed, scratching my head. I suddenly stopped laughing upon noticing how serious siwon was and I realized too that I am indeed a hired agent for leeteuk.

“um, irregular breathing, easily tired when going up the stairs.” I said, reminiscing. “and yeah, he smokes, really bad habit of him.”

The next time I see him with a cigarette, I’ll be invading his room secretly to burn all his supplies. If I can find his room, that is.

“he can’t get over with it.” siwon blinked.

“you’re his friend, you shouldn’t tolerate him.” I said, pointing my fork at him.

Siwon shrugged.

“i guess you’re right.” He said. “but even I, am afraid of him.”

I almost choke down the tea I was sipping, good thing tiffany was able to catch the cup before it fell down.

“are you kidding me, you’re big, he’s fragile.” I laughed, slapping his arm. Siwon laughed too and stared at me with his big goggling eyes.

“you’re so brave to tell me that.”

“I guess, I’m just not afraid of leeteuk.” I said, smiling. I can’t believe I’m getting along with tiffany’s boyfriend well. I guess I really have to erase my first impression to rich guys.

“unni, where’s your bracelet?” tiffany suddenly asked.

“huh?”

I looked around my left wrist and spotted that I’m missing my silver butterfly charms bracelet. I must have left it at leeteuk’s hand when I left for dinner.

“I think I left it at the villa.” I lied.

--------------------------

Seoul Hospital, Private room

Taeyeon’s pov

“are you sure you’re really staying there, unni?” tiffany asked as I touched the handle of the door which led to leeteuk’s room.

“well, I have to, it’s the only way I can repay him.” I said. and the only way to get my charm bracelet back. Only I have to device a way how to get it without being that noticed.

I pushed the door open and siwon led me inside the room like a guard.

“stay outside.” I hissed at tiffany who was about to follow.

“aigoo, unni.”

“well, well, well.” And there was hyoyeon at my previous seat, staring at me.

“I thought it was clear that I should not be seeing any shadow of her?” the blonde girl told siwon.

I halted siwon before he even started to speak.

“yah, really its my fault for telling him something that I shouldn’t be telling.” I said, nearing hyoyeon. “but that doesn’t mean that I am fully reliable because it is accidental, right?”

“still you didn’t know how much it harmed him.” Hyoyeon spat, emphasizing the words. Good grief, the statement deafens me.

“I do know now.” I shrugged as I looked at my bracelet from the corner of my eyes. I remembered that it was hidden completely under the covers and it wouldn’t be a good idea to get near leeteuk right away.

 “I still wouldn’t forgive you for harming my brother.” Hyoyeon crossed her arms.

Aigoo…

“hey little girl, don’t you know what the word accident means?” I laughed, massaging my neck. “I would be repaying by taking care of him, now why don’t you leave for awhile and make sure we don’t see each other so I won’t piss you off?”

I know I really sounded weird infront of everybody, with kyuhyun, siwon, eunhyuk, and seohyun witnessing the event, but it doesn’t matter now. Hyoyeon should respect people who are older than her.

“aish.” Said hyoyeon. “you’re a rascal!”

“it’s a pity you just knew.” I smiled as she stood up from her seat and moved away.

Hah, good chance, I can get my bracelet back. If only I pull open this bed cov---

Ring ring…

Bad timing.

“tiffany? Wae?” I asked, uneasily.

“we should get out here, kangin’s in an emergency situation.” Tiffany said through the receiver.

Aish, kangin again.

“for what?”

“had a fight with the house cook at the villa.” Tiffany mentioned. “unni, we need to get home.”

“can’t I just follow later?” I said through gritted teeth. This call definitely blew my chance to get my stuff. And I’m not repaying my debts yet.

“he punched the cook, unni.” Tiffany said.

Aigoo.. that’s it, this got me alarmed, I’m getting out.

I closed my phone and looked at hyoyeon.

“lucky you I won’t be staying here.” I told her. I looked at leeteuk and bowed. sorry leeteuk, but kangin really needs to have his head whacked.

“kangin’s in a fight with the house cook.” I said to siwon who was guarding the door.

“I’ll bring you guys home.” he said.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“ga-in?

ga-in!”
leeteuk saw his past love sitting comfortably at the grass outside her house garden in kangnam. The wind breezes so soft it matches the atmosphere of the house and ga-in’s hair gently being flown away by the cause.

He run as fast as he could, not missing his chance. He crossed the wide asphalt road that separates them to be able to extend on to her. do not mind the cars, do not mind the trucks passing by. it seemed like only a second that his feet finally stepped on to the grass where ga-in is currently at place. He must have run so swift like the soft wind in breeze.

“its really you.” He said upon seeing her in close up. tears almost formed in his eyes but he tried to stop by looking above him. Clouds like before danced as the two finally met each other for the longest time.

“hi oppa.” Ga-in smiled, reaching for his hand. “you looked like you missed me.”

“isn’t it obvious?” leeteuk smiled too. How he missed her presence so much, her shoulder length hair, the dazzling eyes that always glittered everytime she sees him. It is truly the ga-in long years ago, the twenty year old ga-in that he missed.

Leeteuk saw his reflection on the window that mirrored his image. He looked young and healthier. Has this been his look five years ago? Leeteuk smiled again and looked at ga-in. this time, she didn’t look happy.

“you’re ignoring your health again, oppa.” Ga-in pouted as leeteuk’s smile faded into a midst of worry.

“I’m sorry.”

“you know, it really worries me so much that I fear that I couldn’t move on because of you.” Ga-in said, touching his cheek.

Leeteuk closed his eyes for the warm sensation it felt and immediately had it opened to reply.

“I just don’t know how to value my existence anymore, especially without you around.” he said gently.

Ga-in shook her head, removed the hand from his cheek and cautiously touched his heart.

“that heart.” she said, pointing to his chest. “has been always cherished and loved by the people surrounding you. You must not deal with pain all the time. You know how much this thing could affect you.”

“it doesn’t matter. Can’t I just go with you?” leeteuk sighed, changing the topic.

“oppa, its been five years.” Ga-in said. “its been a long time since you had that pure and innocent smile in your face, that warm attitude of yours. You can’t always deal with your life by doing the opposites.”

“ga-in, I am a sick person.” Leeteuk could feel water welling in his eyes. “I can go with you if I want to.”

Ga-in sighed and gently the top of his hand.

“its not yet your time, leeteuk.” She said. “and don’t miss your life ahead of you by being miserable.”

“ga-in…”

she kissed his forehead and stood up.

“where… where are you going?” leeteuk reached out for her hand.

“to home.” she smiled, pointing her finger above. Leeteuk knew. She belonged to the clouds, to the sky, she is a part of it. and it pains him so much knowing that this was all just a part of his dream. But it seemed so real he didn’t want to wish to wake up.

 “please let me go with you.” He begged, moving after her.

“not yet your time, oppa. Not yet.”

“ga-in!”

Leeteuk’s tears dropped immediately after finding himself alone. His knees became weak and felt the sudden urge to collapse on the soft misty grass that appeared embracing him from the sadness and pain he experienced.

He was alone again. alone in this sunny and windy place at the same time, with no one to interact to. With no ga-in to be with.

“you must be really dreaming bad.” He heard someone say.

Leeteuk turned around and saw a form of a girl reaching out for his hand. he thought he saw an angel but cannot see through the face due to the bright light surrounding her.

Leeteuk saw her hand touching his palm and was aware of the warmness it caused. The feeling was so pleasant. It was more of an unexplainable touch but felt that it is the exact thing he needed right now.

“I wonder what your dream is, you must be holding on to something.” The girl said as leeteuk intertwined his fingers with her.

Leeteuk looked at her familiarity but he really cannot see through her face. the blinding light must have shielded the angel’s face from him. But it wasn’t important right now, he focused at their hands instead. He was so thankful that her presence made him feel that he was not alone.

He must express the gratitude he felt. Just as he was about to say his thanks, the firm grip loosened, surprising him at the same time.

“I’ll be back, okay?” she said.

The girl vanished in thin air before he could even blink. But something of her was left in his hand that she forgot.

It was her butterfly charm bracelet.