Park Kyuwon could feel his shoulders shrugging from every hard sobs he would make.

“aigoo, who told you that its better to end life like that?!” his second son, Heechul spat, as he walked to and fro infront of mister park. Heechul scratched his head furiously while his father was being checked upon by doctor song, who, according to others was also dazed of what happened. The Doctor insisted on assisting Mister Park at his clinic to prevent other people from instigating him.

Park kyuwon looked down the floor and sighed. The great wind that just enveloped him was unexplainable, rather mystical. He couldn’t figure out what really caused such a commotion. His eyes were closed when a really cold environment embraced him.

Only heechul could tell what really happened. It was Leeteuk who saved their father. it was Park Jungsu who gently took the gun away from Kyuwon’s hand when he was too keen to kill himself. he knew that leeteuk was just watching the entire scene, probably also uncertain of what to do. he only got the assurance to help when heechul alone cried out for him, which meant a great deal to cause a scene.

Mister Park’s second son kneeled infront of Kyuwon and gently took his hand with his.

“you know.” He sighed. “I don’t think leeteuk does not want this to happen. You know that even if your son is dying, he wouldn’t let you sacrifice your life just for him.”

“I j-just t-thought t-that i-tt w-was t-the b-best.” Mister park trembled, struggling over the piles of blanket covering his torso. “j-jungsu g-gave all h-his l-life f-for t-this f-family.”

“all the more that you have to respect your family.” Heechul said. for the moment, he realized that his father could be really that impulsive. Nevertheless, he was just thinking of his son. Quite excusable, but hardly.

Doctor song injected a calming drug to mister Park’s cubital vein.

“you need to rest, Kyuwon ssi.” The doctor said.

“ne. you need to rest.” Heechul repeated. “maybe you should go home and get some sleep.”

“but jungsu---“

“he’s fine. Rent a room if you’re not satisfied.” Heechul smiled. he didn’t really know if what happened can be considered a blessing in disguise. It really turned out that Mister Park had regarded leeteuk as a son—a real biological son. “so… old man.”

Heechul bit his lip and stared at the flickering lights above doctor song’s clinic.

“how was the feeling? You felt some great intensity out there right?”

“what do you mean?” mister park looked at his son with innocent eyes. “I dropped the gun. As if someone told me to do it.”

He really could not tell how. But the intensity was so cold that time that he was able to quickly discard his weapon.

“what if its leeteuk’s doing?” heechul asked.

“jungsu?”

“that’s impossible.” Mister park shook his head. “my son is still alive.”

Heechul chuckled and stood up, putting his hands on his hips.

“if that’s what you believe.” Was all he said.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Five months after

Taeyeon straightened the creases off her fitted pants when the names of the students were mentioned at the ceremony.

She was seated almost at the backseat, happily smiling at the rows of students in their graduation wear and hats. The wind gently swept the leaves clipped to the branches, the environment just smell of a wonderful mix of happiness and success. The place, all black and swarmed with a lot of professors, was one of her ideal places to be. It was a dream for her to graduate after all.

Only that, graduating from college is not a priority for her right now.

She stopped schooling. Five months ago, when leeteuk was admitted to the hospital because of sudden collapse due to his heart condition, taeyeon decided to stop schooling temporarily to meet the  needs of her boyfriend. It was truly a great risk, a weird risk to be exact, for she really wanted to graduate as one of the top students of her class. Nevertheless, leeteuk’s health mattered more to her than anything else--- to anyone else. The oldest son of Park Kyuwon, unfortunately, was still in a comatose condition. Already for five months, quite long as what she expected. taeyeon was still in high hopes. She knew that her boyfriend will return soon.

Only time can tell.

Taeyeon watched as leeteuk’s childhood friends were called one by one to the stage--- Siwon who was happily cheered on by tiffany next to her, Eunhyuk who twirled his diploma that got a weird response from the professors, and Sungmin who emerged as the class top notcher. Sungmin didn’t really expect to get the highest grades. All the while, he thought that taeyeon or leeteuk would emerge as the class top notchers. But taeyeon was a transfer student, and leeteuk was in a coma. Taeyeon would still get honors but not as high as sungmin would or leeteuk.

Sungmin was then called for his valedictory speech.

“first of all, I want to thank the school for giving me the opportunity to study business and politics.” He said, as taeyeon and the others diligently listened to his speech. “I really am not expecting to get such an award. We all know that there is really someone who deserves to get such recognition.”

“what’s he doing?” tiffany asked taeyeon, who, just shook her head in reply.

“the person who I idolized the most and molded me to who I am today.” Sungmin continued, his eyes jerking to and fro his notes. “is park jungsu hyung.”

Taeyeon cupped .

“aigoo sungmin…”

“Jungsu ssi or leeteuk ssi, as we all know, has always been the brightest student the school ever has, getting to the hall of fame every semester. But because of his condition, he wasn’t able to join us today. “ said sungmin. “I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for leeteuk Hyung. Hyung, wherever you are, I don’t really deserve this position. But partly I am also thankful that the school let me experience being the top of the class. So I dedicate this medal to you, and to all the people who believed in him. Everyone, please wait for Park Jungsu’s return, because he will be the best there is.”

Sungmin could hear a roar of cheer from his classmates and professors. He smiled and made a bow as the school head extended his hand to his.

“yah, did I miss everything?” taeyeon looked to her left and saw Sunny invading the position next to her seat. Sunny adamantly fixed the ends of her twirled hair and made a slight grunt upon seeing Sungmin returning to his chair.

“aigoo, I didn’t hear his speech.yah, unni, why are you crying?”

“his speech was beautiful.” Taeyeon said.

“he mentioned your guy.” Sunny guessed. Taeyeon nodded and sunny immediately went into a fit of giggles.

“why are you late anyways?” taeyeon asked, changing the topic.

“oh, I brought him a gift.” Sunny said. she put out a pink head set from her bag and smiled as tiffany oohed and ahhed from the well crafted material. “I bought him a headset. He always tells me that he needed one after his earphones broke.”

“such a good girl.” Tiffany said.

“wait, so you and sungmin?” taeyeon asked but quickly cut off herself when sunny nodded sheepishly. “aigoo, spending time at the hospital for five months already let me miss a lot of things.”

“I just don’t want to inject in something about relationships when you are alone waiting for someone to return.” Sunny said, referring to leeteuk’s condition. “it just doesn’t sound right, mianhe.”

“aigoo, kwenchana.” Taeyeon rubbed the temples of her forehead. “but I am proud of you anyways.”

“please clap your hands and congratulate the graduates of business and politics!”

Taeyeon, tiffany and sunny cheered from their seats as the graduates from the course stood up and made a bow.

“what did you bring siwon?” taeyeon asked tiffany, who, amazingly was looking straight at siwon at the front seat.

Tiffany diverted her attention to her sister.

“me? I bought him movie dvds.” She said, patting her bag. “you know, the type of action movies. He really loved those.”

“I see.”

“unni, you should come to the celebration party.” Tiffany said. “it will be at Siwon’s restaurant. He will be sad if you don’t go.”

Taeyeon just shook her head and smiled.

“sorry but I have to tend on to leeteuk.”

“unni.” Sunny joined the conversation too. “I think leeteuk oppa would prefer you celebrating with us. don’t worry, he’s being watched by several doctors and nurses. They would contact you immediately if something happens.”

“I will think about it.” taeyeon said.

If something happened to leeteuk, she wouldn’t forgive herself for leaving him. She was already his companion for five months. It would be really unfair if something happened to him without her witnessing it.

“I have something to tell you too.” sunny said, interrupting taeyeon’s thoughts.

“huh?”

“you will know if you join us at the celebration.” Sunny winked.

-----------------

Hallway, Seoul Hospital

Leeteuk paced to and fro the hallway, watching people from time to time pass by him, entering doors. It had been a habit for him to watch people when he would have a break from watching over taeyeon. Taeyeon was not around yet to attend the graduation. His friends, according to the conversations he heard from her at the phone were graduating this day. He was still disappointed though, about taeyeon. She decided to temporarily stop schooling because of him—just to meet his needs. He felt like a huge burden.

Five months. His physical self was already asleep for five months. Such a long time for a comatose patient. it might have been true that his body was really fighting to the disease. Even though his heart would collapse in a matter of minutes, medications were 24/7. Even doctor song would spend more hours at his room than to any other patients. Blood supply was great too. leeteuk was really surprised when his university decided to put up a blood donation just for him. It turned out that some students were AB negative and were much willing to give blood.

Leeteuk decided to sit on the rows of chairs in front of his room so he could just watch people come and go. He rested his chin on his knees as people unconsciously drop by. Leeteuk then stared at the clock hanging up the hallway. Taeyeon was not yet returning. She must have been celebrating graduation day with their classmates.

“why are you just sitting there?” leeteuk looked up and saw ga-in approaching him. The ever beautiful Han Ga-in sat with him and looked at the wall clock too.

“something wrong with the time?”

“taeyeon’s not yet returning.” Leeteuk said. he cannot believe how conscious he was of taeyeon’s time. Maybe he was just quick of missing her nowadays. She was really glued to him most of the time.

“maybe she’s really enjoying the graduation.” Ga-in said. “give her time, she really missed her school friends.”

Leeteuk nodded and straightened up his back.

“are you already bored?” ga-in asked. She was referring to his present condition. Leeteuk was, after all, in a spirit form for already five months.

“bored since day one.” Leeteuk confessed, which made her laugh. Leeteuk cleared his throat and crossed his legs. “what I mean is, I really want to get the surgery right away. if only I would just wake up.”

He had tried submerging himself to his physical body to no avail.

“what did the doctor tell you last time about your condition?” ga-in asked.

“that I had only days or if lucky, months to live.” leeteuk said.

“then you’re lucky that you lived till the fifth month.” Ga-in said. leeteuk sighed, unconsciously rubbing the side of his arm.

“fifth month and not talking.” He corrected her.

“you really do like to wake up, huh?” ga-in touched his hair. Leeteuk nodded again. “what if you’ll get confused?”

“what do you mean?”

“about your existence.”

“I will live.” leeteuk said.

“are you sure you already decided?”

Leeteuk wrinkled his brows.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said.

Ga-in turned her head towards her left and leeteuk followed. A woman, probably in her early thirties walked gracefully between the hall, her eyes fixed lovingly on leeteuk. Leeteuk blinked his eyes.

He didn’t know if he was really seeing the real thing. He would like to tell himself that he was hallucinating but it wouldn’t be the right to explain such thing.

Leeteuk immediately stood up when the woman was almost a feet away from him.

“eomma.” He blurted.

----------------

Choi Restaurant

“jinja?” taeyeon’s eyes widened from sunny’s sudden news about a heart center. Sunny clasped her hands together with taeyeon.

“yes.” She repeated, her smile almost reaching the lobes of her ears. “we already have a donor.”

It was the words that taeyeon had waited for the longest time. She really didn’t expect that after calling all the heart centers, there is a heart center that fortunately has a supply of leeteuk’s heart.

“so what did they say? Are they willing to give the heart right away?” taeyeon tried to maintain her calm, ignoring the stares of their classmates from the other tables. “I mean, what do we do?”

“we just have to get it, unni.” Sunny laughed. She couldn’t believe how taeyeon could still calm herself even with the good surprise. “of course we pay for it. the heart center is from the province. I think you should just ask mister park to have the agents get it.”

Taeyeon nodded as the waiter brought more food to their table.

“I think mister park would agree to that kind of idea too.” she said, knowing how the old man really wanted leeteuk to wake up.

Five months ago, Park Kyuwon tried to kill himself for disregarding his son’s love. The incident, as much as dreadful as it sounds, paved the way for the father to love his son more. It also paved a way for the old man to pay more attention to his family. He decided to man the corporation all by himself, temporarily dismissing the news of a new successor. Surprisingly, he and taeyeon became closer too.

“I will inform him as soon as possible.” Taeyeon crossed her arms from the thought. “the only thing we have to do is to wait for leeteuk to wake up.”

“oppa has to wake up.” Sunny said. “or else.”

“where’s heechul hyung?” siwon interrupted. As sunny and taeyeon nodded at each other.

“didn’t he tell you that he and hyoyeon are coming as soon as possible?” taeyeon asked. Heechul, like her and leeteuk, temporarily stopped schooling. Heechul opted to continue his academics until leeteuk wakes up.

Hyoyeon didn’t attend the graduation ceremony either but decided to come to the celebration party instead.

“okay, so I guess we need more chairs.” Siwon said, urging his needs to the waiter beside him.

“we already have a heart for leeteuk.” Taeyeon said.

Siwon’s eyes bulged from the news.

“really? Wow, amazing!”

“we just have to wait until he remains stable.” Taeyeon said, waving at kyuhyun and seohyun approaching their table. “when he wakes up he will have that surgery.”

“I really hope it turns out good.” Siwon said. “how are you seohyun?”

Cho Seohyun smiled, making a bow to everyone who’s attention was on her.

“just waiting for the delivery.” She said, feeling her large baby bump.

“aigoo, it must be difficult to carry twins.” tiffany said.

Taeyeon and sunny took turns touching seohyun’s stomach.

“the babies will be delivered after two months, caesarian section.” Kyuhyun butted in. “waiter, can I have water? no ice please.”

“ne.”

“we decided to transfer to a real house, the one that leeteuk hyung bought for us.” kyuhyun continued, slicing meat at seohyun’s plate. “the condominium will be too small for the twins, i was really surprised that the bungalow has so many rooms, we just went there yesterday. It’s a really safe environment for the babies.”

“funny how teukie hyung foresighted that you will have a large family.” Said eunhyuk from the other end of the round table.

“seohyun told him how much she wanted to have many kids.” Kyuhyun blushed. He turned towards seohyun. “jagiya, don’t eat the fat.”

“leeteuk already has a heart donor.” Taeyeon interrupted.

“aigoo, I was waiting for that news to come up!” kyuhyun touched his heart. “so when will he have the surgery?”

“as soon as he wakes up, probably.” Taeyeon said. “we just have to wait.”

“taengoo.”

Taeyeon shifted her attention to eunhyuk.

“yes?”

“please look at your phone.” he said.

“now? Why?” taeyeon wrinkled her brows. She fumbled for her cellphone, seeing how glum eunhyuk’s facial expressions were. Her eyes then darted to the small screen. Taeyeon didn’t expect her heart to tumble so quickly.

a text message.

“oppa’s heartline stopped. please come to the hospital immediately.”=hyoyeon

It was then that taeyeon didn’t hesitate to abandon a large amount of food delivered to her plate.

----------------

Leeteuk’s POV

“Eomma…”

I cant believe I’m seeing my mother. I further cannot believe that she was holding me into her arms. Her embrace, as soft as silk and warm as a setting sun, plunged me into a euphoria I’d long been waiting for. I really missed this feeling. I really missed this warmth.

The hallway in the hospital suddenly turned into a very bright white setting, and I found myself embracing my mother ever tightly. She was humming words to me, certain words I didn’t know to be of exact. Probably a song? Probably a familiar tune.

“heart and soul… I fell in love with you heart and soul…”

She was singing my favorite song.

“eomma.” I said. “eomma.”

I looked like a kid. And for a moment I did acted like one. Just seeing a surreal moment made me turn years younger like the five year old kid I used to be when I was with her.

“jungsu, have you been well?” she asked me. I cannot hold myself to speak, probably relinquishing every moment I have with her.

“its been hard for you, isn’t it?” she continued, brushing her fingers on delicately to my brown hair. I just nodded.

It had been really hard for me. everything turned hard for me the moment she was taken away. I was designated to battle my sickness alone. Every cough of blood, every hardship I would face with my family. The moment when father decided to support his other family.

It was not easy to live knowing that you can be taken away in a matter of years.

“jungsu.” my mother helped me stood up from the ground. “jungsu, there is always a choice for you.”

I looked at my mother innocently, and to Ga-in who was just standing at the corner. I remained silent as she gently intertwined her hand with mine, leading me the way.

The white hallway became brighter than ever. And the passersby surprisingly vanished. Only the ticking clock at the wall remained, telling me of the time. Afternoon.

 

I found myself standing between two white doors. The white doors appear to stand on their own.

I looked at my mother again.

“jungsu, there is always a choice for you.” She repeated, referring to the two doors. Ga-in stood on the left door, but didn’t say a word.

“eomma.”

My mother stood in front of the left door too.

“two doors, Jungsu.” she said gently. “two doors for you to choose. “

It was then that I realized that she was telling me to choose my future. Two white doors, as Ga-in mentioned months ago, became a reality.

I looked at my mother again. my mother’s face in her early thirties didn’t appear to be of different than mine. she was glowing, and radiant, didn’t even resemble her paleness twenty years ago when she died. my mother gracefully pointed her palm to the left door to where she and Ga-in stood.

She smiled.

I haven’t told her how much I missed being around with her presence. How much I would risk everything just to see and feel her. I advanced to the left door, but suddenly stopped when a butterfly charm bracelet appeared inside my hand. the silver chained bracelet radiantly glowed from the all white emanating the area, almost blinding me. I stopped.

 

Taeyeon

 

“jungsu?” my mother asked. I looked up to my mother with tears forming in my eyes.

-----------------

Seoul Hospital

Taeyeon’s POV

I ran as fast as I could, my heart beating frantically on my chest.

Leeteuk, how could you. You promised me.

I reached the area and found a man covered in white cloth at the center of the room. I placed my hands beside my ears. The heart monitor’s eerie long sound can still be heard, sending me horrendous thoughts of everything. The CPR device just scattered on the floor which reminded me that he was resuscitated.

My eyes immediately felt a sting as I saw mister park, hyoyeon, heechul oppa and inyoung unni outside the glass door, huddling themselves together in a form of an embrace, probably couldn’t bear such a sight. My heart. I don’t know what to do.

I just felt that it should be right for me to see him.

I uncovered the white cloth and saw the man I love, unmoving, all white, with eyes closed, a tinge of blue covering his lips.

“you promised me!” was the first sentence that came to my lips as I pound my fists to the side of the bed. Tears streamed down to my cheeks, like a river, endless on a horizon, stopping to nowhere.

I felt as if a part of me was taken away.

“teuk, please.” I said. “you cant do this to me. we’re supposed to be together, right?  I just left you for one day. you are so unfair!”

“we already have a donor, don’t tell me you’re going to give up this time!” I continued, shaking his body. “please!”

I cried. I sobbed. I couldn’t bear but to push all the tears away from my face, desperate at every time that passed by. I removed my butterfly charmed bracelet and pushed the silver material inside his hand.

The way I did when I first cared for him.

I closed my eyes, muttering a silent prayer under my breath. Wishing for him to feel my presence.

I angrily wiped the flowing tears in my eyes when the heart monitor suddenly flashed life waves across the screen.  I looked at it, blinking. Once… twice…

 I heard a sudden gasp beside me.

“teuk?”

His eyes had opened. and from that moment tears from his ducts flowed too. endless. As if he couldn’t believe what has happened.

Leeteuk looked at me and for the moment I didn’t know what to do.

“teuk?”

He cringe his eyebrows, blinded by the light emanating the room. I cupped his face with my hand and he looked at me again.

His lips curved into a slight smile.

“just wait here, okay? I’ll tell the others that you woke up.” I said, forcefully wiping my tears now. Leeteuk gently nodded, watching me from his peripheral view how I called the attention of his family and the medical staff.

“are you, are you okay?” I asked, as the medical staff started entering the room. leeteuk was just looking at me, in  a daze, probably as amazed as I am.

“we already have the heart, we can have your surgery.” I said, didn’t realize that another set of tears were flowing down. These were probably tears of joy. “we will choose that option okay?”

I let the medical staff examine leeteuk when his hand made a gentle grip on mine.

“yes?” I asked him, when doctor song and his family entered the room. mister Park knelt down on the floor, crying of happiness, opting heechul and Inyoung unni to held him up.

Leeteuk forcefully opened his mouth and muttered his first word for the first time.

“forever.”

-------------------------

Inspired by the snsd song “forever” to depict taeteuk’s love for each other.