It was definitely a cloudy morning, with shades of grey embedded in the sky. Leeteuk rested his back comfortably on the driver’s seat, running a hand through his dark brown hair as he waited for taeyeon to emerge out of the sturdy brown doors of the Villa. They will be skipping classes for today, because he had promised taeyeon that he will be bringing her to her mother directly in the morning. The scene yesterday was still clear on his mind, a giddy taeyeon embracing him with delight, hearing the news that her mother was suddenly found after long tiring years of waiting. he was really surprised that taeyeon agreed to take a day’s absence from school, knowing how stingy she is when it comes to grades. it was definitely clear that family matters more than school.

Leeteuk closed his eyes. what should he do the moment taeyeon comes out of the villa? He was not planning to tell her everything not until she realized what’s going on herself. That her mother is in the asylum for already more than twenty years, and her father is missing in action eversince she was a child. Knowing everything at the same time would be ballistic, but it was the proper thing to do. Good thing he made taeyeon promise not to divulge the details to her siblings yet. He didn’t know if they are physically and emotionally ready to discover the truth. Sometimes, leeteuk would question himself for being so intruding at the situation.

Kim taeyeon emerged out of the villa in a faded blue jeans mini skirt, yellow pumps, white tube with a navy blue blazer covering her top. Leeteuk bit his lip at the sight of her gracefully hopping inside the car. What did this girl do? She even had her make up on and the look upon her face was full of enthusiasm. Leeteuk cannot deny that the improvement really matched her well.

 “honey, we’re not going to a date.” Leeteuk said as taeyeon pushed her long wavy brown hair to the back of her shoulders. She was really in her feminine self today, not the usual taeyeon who would slouch immediately when taking a seat or would quickly backfire at him for being so rude.

“babe, I’m seeing my mom.” Taeyeon pinched his cheek. leeteuk rolled his eyes and started the engine. If only taeyeon knew that they were going to a place scarier than an old haunted house. And what was she thinking?he wasn’t accustomed to her overflowing positive energy plus the y aura she exuded upon dealing with his sarcasm.

“so positive.” He drawled, manning the wheel.

taeyeon giggled and was proud of herself for leveling up with leeteuk. Just when she was about to tell her more about her day, which included writing a night’s letter for her mother, she noticed that their usual chauffeur was missing.

“why don’t we have any driver around?”

“I want to make sure that we go there alone.” leeteuk replied, putting on his sunglasses. He didn’t want to cause another commotion, he only wanted taeyeon to witness the real thing for herself.

Taeyeon rubbed her nose at the thought.

“too private huh?” she asked, poking him. “even my siblings do not have the idea that we’re visiting our mother. Just imagine if they know, they’d all freak out.”

“no, I just want you for myself.” leeteuk chuckled. Taeyeon pouted and slapped his arm.

“aigoo, stop joking!”

“am I kidding?” leeteuk looked at her innocently. “you had breakfast?”

“yup.” Taeyeon had made herself some French toast before leaving. “you?”

“I’ll drive through a coffee shop.” Leeteuk said. he will be needing caffeine to supply himself some energy to go along with the situation.

“aigoo, you should have asked wookie to cook for you, he was already up at five.” Taeyeon said.

Leeteuk checked on his watch. Already nine in the morning. he was told that the asylum opens at eleven. 

“taeng.”

Taeyeon glanced up from rummaging through her bag.

“yes?”

“when you’re sad.” Leeteuk thought aloud. Of course he should be asking this. “what do you usually do?”

Taeyeon bit her lip. She had forgotten the time when she was really sad. Either she was really positive at things or she had gotten really stronger for living a hazy life.

“I go to the restroom.” She confessed. Back in Junior high, she remembered an incident where she failed a test for the first time and the bathroom had became her bestfriend for an entire hour. “I don’t want people seeing me sad especially my siblings.”

“okay.”

“why ask?” she knew leeteuk would always ask random questions but the thought had really taken her aback.

“nothing.” Leeteuk said. “I just want to know more about you.”

“that’s really a random question to ask, I’m a bit taken aback myself.” taeyeon said.

“always be prepared for that.”

“how about you?” taeyeon asked too.

Leeteuk chuckled as the car headed for the left road.

“I go to a silent place.” He said, reminding himself lying at the grass on the cemetery.

“because you don’t want people to hear you too.” Taeyeon said.

Leeteuk shrugged.

“I let people hear my sentiments in silence.” He said.

“booya?”

“whenever I go the cemetery.” Leeteuk continued. “I make sure that I speak my heart out. That way, I was able to let go.”

“never heard of that custom.” Taeyeon said. to her, graves seem to be a scary place to be. But leeteuk is, after all, the prince of darkness, the fallen angel who loves graves.

“you really are such a weird person.” She concluded.

----------------------------------

Mental Asylum

Taeyeon’s POV

A mental asylum. How on earth? I knew seoul eversince we transferred years ago but I never knew that such place existed at a city.

“are you bringing me to your amusement park?” I kidded at leeteuk who was eyeing the counter the moment we stepped on the entrance.

Leeteuk, eversince we got out of the car was silent and wouldn’t let me know details why we went here. He was just in his usual expressionless mood, looking around him, observing the white walls of the building, shaking his head.

“hey, you’re still not yet answering me why we’re here.” I said when we went to the counter.

“you’ll know later.” Was all he said to me. he looked at the nurse who appeared to be delighted at a sight of a college senior in a white long sleeved polo, with black striped scarf and grey fitted pants.

“yes, I’m here for an appointment.” He said, scanning the laminated paper on his left. “I’m park jungsu. I was told that someone will assist us?”

“assist you? Yes.” Said the nurse. She waved her hand at a stout nurse with a clipboard hanging to her arm. “nurse Hara, please assist mister park here.”

“please follow me.” nurse Hara ushered us to walk.

The lobby of the mental asylum, reminded me of a usual hospital—low ceiling, off white counter with a big clock at the off white walls, a couple of nurses in their blue uniforms dashing through from now and then. This was what they call the façade of every establishments. Not until we reached the big oak door with a sign that says:

BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU WALK

Are patients really out and about this part of the area? Why should we be careful, I mean, even nurses should be careful to walk to?

We entered the large door and leeteuk suddenly stopped me when the door closed.

“whatever you do, never leave my side.” He said.

It got me really scared. I cling my arm onto him as my pumps glided all the way the slippery hall with blinking yellow lights at the top. There were cells, beside, in parallel of each other and I was immediately reminded of a jail. Unlike jails which are only barricaded by railings and bars, the areas are barricaded by soft cushions around it.

“teuk, I don’t like this.” I said as we passed by a patient in his room, who was aiming to shoot me with an invisible gun in his hands. Leeteuk saw this too and he was not happy about it.

“I’m not okay if you’re going to ask me.” I said as we passed by another hall. the more we entered an area, the darker it gets. And I could see more cameras with blinking red lights that move everytime a person passes by. How could an asylum be so scary?

Nurse Hara stopped to room 172.

“few reminders before you walk in.” she said. “make sure not to do anything that will threaten the patient. we have surveillance cameras here, we have guards that will come to you when you need help. And make sure never give anything to the patient even a piece of candy because they are in a strict food program.”

“what’s this, hell?” I blurted, tightening my grip at leeteuk’s arm.

“miss, this is an asylum.” The nurse rolled her eyes.

Leeteuk peeked at the small window.

“if something happens, there’s a button somewhere that we could use to inform your guards?” he asked, somewhat clarifying.

“yes. The patient is somehow attached to her cell so you wouldn’t have a big problem the moment she goes berserk.” Said nurse Hara. “I will be taking your bag miss because it might be harmful for the patient.”

“bwo—I only have tissues and wallets and stuff.” I said. leeteuk looked at me and I knew that I should be following a quick order so I just gave my bag away.

“you will be getting this from the counter once you’re done.” Nurse hara bowed and placed her fingers to the door knob.

“teuk.” I bit my lip and sighed. “can you tell me the truth, why are you bringing me here? this is scary.”

“I’m sorry.” Leeteuk said. “you will find out later, please be patient.”

“we’re going in.” leeteuk gently pulled my wrist and tugged me inside.

The place, was a grey cell with a smelly bed bunk at the side, a blinking lamp post, a dirty toilet with only a small window that seemed to lighten up a room. the walls were covered with cushions on the side, and a surveillance cam was blinking. I couldn’t help but to feast my eyes on the crouching patient at the corner, with her curly hair standing on all sides, her body dressed in a worn out grey dress, her arms covering her entire face, her left foot, oh my, was chained to make sure she wouldn’t go away.

As we moved closer to her, with leeteuk gently assisting me, I could smell a hint of a foul odor that resembled the patient’s own urine. She must have been using the entire room as her toilet.

“miss.” Leeteuk knelt down tapped a finger on her elbow. “there’s someone here who wants to meet you. “

Wants to meet?

“what’s this?” I hissed at him. I could hear my heart pounding to all sides of my body, and I cannot deny that I was feeling a sudden nervousness embracing myself.

The patient looked up and stared at leeteuk.

Then she stared at me.

Those wide and goggling eyes, the button nose, and narrow lips. I stared hardly at her and realized all the way why leeteuk brought me here. she was smiling once she saw me.

“eomma?” I trembled.

“eomma?” the patient asked. “such a beautiful girl.”

“miss Minsung.” Leeteuk looked at her. “this is your daughter, taeyeon.”

My mother’s face suddenly went rigid and her eyes were forming a pool of water that will almost drip once she blinks.

I looked at leeteuk.

“can you leave us for the moment?”

----------------------------------

Leeteuk’s head looked up when taeyeon emerged from the cell.

“I’m done with the patient.” she told the nurse.

“okay, good, everything’s settled then.” Nurse hara ushered us to go outside.

Leeteuk was still looking at taeyeon once they hopped inside the car. Her once happy mood turned into a serious expression that made him feel at guilt.

“first of all firsts.” She stopped him from turning on the engine and sighed. “I need an explanation.”

“I will answer everything you want to ask.” Leeteuk said. he couldn’t help but to really blame himself at the situation.

Taeyeon bit her lip and closed her eyes.

“my mother.” She said. “why in the asylum?”

“she had a nervous breakdown when you were just three.” He answered her. “she was sad that he left her for another woman but she never told you because she thought everything would be fine. Then there was this incident with a neighbor who caught you stealing a fruit. Do you still remember?”

Taeyeon inhaled a deep breath and touched her heart.

“only a few.” She confessed. “why?”

“the reason why your mother was put into asylum.” Leeteuk said. “was because she killed your neighbor, the moment she was defending you from your bruises that you got when you were maltreated. Authorities ever since, put her into the asylum.”

“but my aunt.” Taeyeon couldn’t believe how her aunt hid everything from her, thinking that all things were just fine.

“your aunt covered this incident because she wanted you and your siblings to have normal lives.” Leeteuk defended.

Taeyeon could feel the vein of her head throbbing with such confession.

“your father by the way.” Leeteuk continued. “do you want me to search for him too?”

“he caused us a lot of troubles, do you expect me to see him all the way?” taeyeon smiled weakly, gazing at her lap. “I don’t think I want to see him.”

“okay.” Leeteuk respected her decision.

Taeyeon sighed and rested her head on the soft car seat that supported her frame.

“I’m blaming myself for letting you in to this.” Leeteuk suddenly blurted.

“its not your fault that my life was destined that way.” Taeyeon shook her head. “now everthing’s clear to me, and I understand why you don’t want my siblings not to know the truth.”

“its better to have one witness.”

Taeyeon nodded too.

“thank you by the way.” She said, looking at him. “at least I saw her, and I should be happy about it.”

“I don’t know if you have to thank me for that.” leeteuk shrugged.

Taeyeon smiled and slapped his arm.

“yah, be positive.” She said. “anyways, I’m hungry, we should eat.”

---------------------------------

Restaurant

“I’ll be ordering this, and this and this.” Taeyeon pointed to the menu when she and leeteuk went to a restaurant. 

Leeteuk was looking at her like a teacher observing a naughty student. Happy mood turned serious mood. Now she’s in a happy mood again.

“what?” taeyeon asked when he was almost not blinking.

Leeteuk pursed his lips and pushed his glasses above his nose.

“you’re quite weird today.” He noticed. It was true, ever since he and taeyeon returned to the car, taeyeon had been diverting her attention to other things--- music, school, books. All the things that she was not supposed to talk about after meeting her mother.

“ah, I’m so hungry.” Taeyeon sighed and ran her fingers through her stomach. earlier she was a woman of poise, now she was back to the normal taeyeon who would sometimes act like a kid.

“you ordered a lot of sweets, make sure you eat them.” Leeteuk said.

“you help me eat them all, after all were friends.” Taeyeon grinned.

“I’ll pass.” Leeteuk said.

“why?”

“I don’t feel well today.” He shrugged his shoulders.

Taeyeon placed a palm on his forehead.

“you’re sick?”

“I don’t know, I just don’t feel good today.” He removed her hand. he didn’t know why his heart suddenly ached ever since taeyeon discovered the truth. Either he was giving out his sympathy as a friend or he missed his mom or there was something with taeyeon that made him feel that he should empathize with her.

“you should stop drinking coffee, maybe its because of that.” taeyeon said.

“maybe.”

Taeyeon straightened up her back and placed a bag on the table.

“I’m… I’m going to the restroom.” She said.

 “taeng.” He said, when taeyeon stood up.

“yes?”

“do not sit on the toilet floor, its dirty.” He smiled. He knew what she’ll do next.

----------------------------------

Leeteuk checked on his watch. Fifteen minutes. A lot of the time has passed ever since taeyeon went to the restroom and the table was already filled with her choice of food. It will really be a waste if she didn’t get to eat a single thing.

Leeteuk decided  to go to the counter and ask the manager for the keys to the girl’s restroom.

“are you sure that you are acquainted with the person inside?” the manager asked skeptically.

She wasn’t giving him the keys yet, looking at him from head to foot, irritating him a bit.

Leeteuk forced a smile beneath all the annoyance he’s getting.

“I’m sorry to bother you but the girl inside is my girlfriend.” He acted, bowing himself.

“the crying girl is your girlfriend.” The manager repeated. Leeteuk bit his lip and closed his eyes.

“you don’t believe me.” he said.

“not really sir.” the manager looked embarrassed. “were sorry but we follow strict policies in this place.”

It made leeteuk realize that he should refrain from bringing girls to a five star restaurant.

 “I don’t want to say this but if you don’t give me the keys the baby inside her will suffocate.” He said calmly.

The manager looked at him in shock.

“aig---aigoo she’s pregnant?” she fumbled her pockets for the keys.

“three months.” Leeteuk explained, trying to be factual. “hormones you see, makes her cry all of a sudden without no reason at all.”

He looked at the manager and stretched out his hand.

“do you mind? I don’t want you guys to think that I’m a horrible father.” He said.

“right…. right away sir.”

The manager quickly handed him a silver key.

“thank you.” Leeteuk bowed once more and waited until the she was out of sight. A horrible father? What was he thinking? All lies for opening a door.

Leeteuk inhaled deep breaths and knocked on the wood.

“taeng. I know you’re there.” he said, leaning over. “I’m coming for you.”

He rotated the knob open and looked around.

The place was still scented, no sign of tissues rolling on the floor, no signs of knives or any sharp objects. Only a noisy exhaust fan that almost sounded like a turbinator. Leeteuk moved over and scanned each of the cubicles. A sobbing voice made him realize where to go next.

Leeteuk walked in until he reached the last cubicle. He took of his jacket and placed the clothing on taeyeon’s exposed legs. She was squatting next to the toilet, her face covered by her arms resting on her knees.

“oh, good, you’re not sitting on the floor.” He said, squatting beside her. taeyeon completely ignored him and resumed to her business.

Leeteuk unconsciously ran a hand on her long brown tresses.

“have you been crying for fifteen minutes?” he asked, her hair. Leeteuk pushed taeyeon’s stray hairs behind her ears and ushered her to face him.

“let me see your face.” he said. taeyeon shook her head and continued sobbing.

“I--- I look horrible.” She choked.

“honestly you’re still thinking that way?”

Leeteuk bit his lip sighed.

“did you know the reason why my mother died?” he asked her gently.

“no.” taeyeon replied.

Leeteuk inhaled deep breaths before continuing.

“she found out that my father has a son on another woman, same age as mine.” He confessed. He was still in pain at the thought, but it is the only way that can make taeyeon understand that she’s not alone.

Taeyeon looked up and rubbed her eyes.

“ugh, what have you been doing, you’re ruining your make up.” leeteuk quickly ran a hand to help her wipe her tears.

“is.. is it true, your mother?” taeyeon asked.

“why should I tell  you something if its not true?” leeteuk fumbled for his handkerchief.

“I thought you’re just trying to make a fool of yourself to make me feel better.” Taeyeon said.

Leeteuk chuckled at the statement.

“I’m making a fool of myself by telling you the truth.” He said, blotting her face dry. “do you see the logic?”

Was it really fate that he had a harsher experience than her? for some reason leeteuk was thankful that taeyeon got to have a normal life.

“oh my gosh.” Taeyeon felt sad too. “I didn’t know that was the reason, I thought she just had heartattack.”

“heart attack.” Leeteuk shrugged. Did his father really fabricate all these ideas to every one? “but there is always a cause why persons get into that, yes?”

Taeyeon nodded, wiping her nose.

“unfortunately, my mother got really hurt when she found the truth, and it didn’t do good to herself at all.” He sighed, thinking of the situation. “hurting us, you know, doesn’t do good, it kills us instantly.”

“I’m sorry.” Taeyeon pouted at him.

“its okay, anything happens.”

He massaged his heart for the non-rhythmic jolts he was currently experiencing.

“to think that I’m still a bit lucky to have my mother around.” taeyeon swept some hairs sticking at her neck. “I’m still fortunate somehow.”

“that’s why you don’t have to go with these things alone.” Leeteuk said. “because honestly,no one in my siblings know the real truth. “

Taeyeon nodded again.

“were just the same.” She concluded.

“yes. Its funny huh?”

Leeteuk stood up and pulled her with him.

“cubicles really give me a fright.” He said, easing the creases of his pants. Leeteuk stopped and cupped

his own mouth. Did he really say this?

“what am I talking about?” he blurted.

He looked at a confused taeyeon and bent his head.

“do you want a hug?”

“I’ll give you a hug too.” Taeyeon’s tears started to fall again as she and leeteuk embraced each other.

Taeyeon didn’t know what exactly happened next but felt her heart thumping again into jolts at the feeling of her body resting to leeteuk’s own. It was a nice feeling after all, like electricity surging out, making one feel ecstatic and comfortable at the same time. If leeteuk was a pillow, he could be her favorite.

“you’re so strong.” she muttered. “you had all these things behind you and yet you still stand.”

 “we can’t do anything but to face our own fears.” He said, rubbing her back. “its life, taeng. All we have to do is to really deal with the consequences.”

Taeng nodded and continued embracing him.

“I’m right all along.”

“hmm?”

“that you understand me.” she said, resting her nose to his shoulder. she didn’t realize that she was getting addicted to leeteuk’s body cologne that resembled a fresh sandalwood scent.

He chuckled at her gesture and loosened himself from her hug.

“really?” he said. “ then smile for me.”

Taeyeon shook her head and pouted.

“oh, please I’ll be a lunatic when you don’t.” leeteuk rolled his eyes. taeyeon laughed and slapped him gently at the arm.

“aww, so beautiful.” Leeteuk smiled. Taeyeon pouted like a little girl and slapped him again.

“aigoo, such a pleaser.”

“its okay. At least you’re pleased. ” he said. “anyways, food’s getting cold, let’s go.”

Taeyeon checked her eyes on the mirror and sighed at the sight of her with puffy eyes and red nose.

“everyone knows you cried.” Leeteuk said, pulling her with him. “let’s go.”

“booya, you told them?”

Leeteuk opened the door and ushered taeyeon to move forward.

The manager was already at the door step, appearing teary eyed and happy at the same time.

“a token miss, from the restaurant.” She said, handing a confused taeyeon a ceramic mug.

“oh, thanks.” She looked a bit startled. “you are definitely nice.”

Leeteuk bowed and assisted taeyeon to move.

“congratulations on your baby.” The manager added.

Taeyeon eyed leeteuk a suspicious stare.

“I’m hungry, I think I need to eat.” He smiled, walking out ahead.

--------------------------

Leeteuk’s room, Park Villa

Leeteuk checked any last messages on his phone before turning the lights off.

He had a very tiring day. he didn’t know that driving all day would really tire his muscles off. He was somehow regretting of refusing to go with a chauffeur, but nonetheless, seeing that the situation was covered by him and taeyeon making a deal not to tell anyone what they just had for the day, it was less troublesome.

Leeteuk massaged his temples and sat on the bed, thinking of school. he missed two days worth of important classes because of her.

“donghae ah, why didn’t you turn off the lamp beside you?” he asked, patting the person next to him. It was really weird of him to sleep with the lights on, after all his cousin was accustomed to sleeping in the darkness.

“donghae, turn off the lamp.” Leeteuk poked his cousin. Had donghae been pretending to sleep, he wouldn’t know. His cousin was entirely covered with a blanket covering his face.

Leeteuk’s phone beeped just as he was about to rest his head on the pillow.

hyung, I’m on a date, won’t be back until tomorrow— donghae

Leeteuk sat straight and felt his heart thump at the presence of a person next to him underneath the bed covers.

He removed the blanket and saw a mischievous face smiling at him, clutching a teukie plush at her chest.

“miss kim, what are you doing here?” he asked taeyeon.

Taeyeon stuck her tongue and pretended to close her eyes.

“hey, stop kidding me, go back to your room.” leeteuk poked her on the forehead.

Taeyeon didn’t budge. Instead, she turned her back on him and pretended to sleep.

 “what’s this, this is like déjà vu.” Leeteuk rolled his eyes, forcing taeyeon to face him.

“yah, I’m sleepy, sleep too.” Taeyeon acted like she was tired.

“no, you’re not sleeping here. this is a man’s room.”

“says the boy who slept at a girl’s room.” taeyeon blurted. “don’t be such a pooper, let’s go to sleep. Kaja.”

“you are really out of your mind.” Leeteuk lied down on the bed.

Taeyeon rolled her eyes and pulled him closer to her.

“oh yeah, I’m harmful, the next thing you know, you’ll be having a baby.” She kidded pinching his cheek. “aigoo, I’m just going to tell you stories, sir.”

“stories?” leeteuk raised a brow.

“yep, stories.” Taeyeon repeated. “you like hearing stories, right?i’ll tell you one before you sleep.”

“I drove all day, I think I’d pass out.” Leeteuk turned his back on her and clutched a blanket over his chest.

“you are? Oh no.”

“maybe next time, sorry.” Leeteuk said, closing his eyes.

Taeyeon bit her lip for the moment and let an awkward silence pass between them for a couple of minutes.

“teukie?” she whispered. “you’re still awake?”

She looked at leeteuk’s back and noticed that he wasn’t moving a single bit.

“you’re asleep already?”

she peeked atop of him and she was right. Leeteuk already drifted away in his dreamland.

“aigoo.” Taeyeon breathe in. it was her fault that he was tired. Now she wouldn’t be able to thank him properly for what he did for her.

“you missed two days without school because of me, mianhe.” She whispered, looking at him.

Taeyeon patted leeteuk’s hair in endearment and listened in amusement to his hoarse sound of breathing. The ridiculous respiration coming from his throat appeared oddly cute for her.

“anyways.” She continued. “ I don’t know if you’d allow me this but I’ll just make heaven a witness.”

She leaned closer onto his face and planted a long kiss to the side of his lips.