Kitchen Area, Park Villa

“who wants omelette with fried rice?” ryeowook called out.

“me!” taeyeon said.

“araso, omelette fried rice.” Ryeowook happily placed a round plate of fried rice and yellow omelette on top. Taeyeon clapped her hands at the smell of the evaporating steam coming from the egg itself.

“aigoo, looks like I will be having a full meal today.” Taeyeon clasped her hand and quickly dug in.

Ryeowook looked at his hungry friend and smiled.

“looks like you’re really hungry.”

“sleeping for eight hours make you hungry.” Taeyeon said in between swallows. “sunny, are you going to the mall today?”

“ne.” sunny agreed. She had told taeyeon about her plans of going to the mall for shopping.

“sorry I can’t go.” Taeyeon pouted. “but I have sungmin to accompany you, I guess that will be alright?”

Sunny nodded and clasped her hands too.

“omo--- we’ll go to pink stores and stuff!” she said dreamily.

“ah, the perfect shopping partner.” Taeyeon said. “isn’t it perfect?”

“where are you going today?” ryeowook asked taeyeon.

“teukie’s having the results of his test.” The middle kim sibling placed a hefty amount of omelette to .

Yesterday after their classes ended, leeteuk had casually asked her to accompany him to the hospital into which she agreed. Good thing sungmin was there to be with sunny.

“teukie hyung underwent many tests last week huh?” ryeowook sat down on the stool, removing his apron. “I hope the tests turn out well.”

“I hope so too.” Taeyeon said as she watched her friend placing the apron at the sink. she didn’t even know what leeteuk’s reaction will be. To think that he will be in favor if the tests turned out bad, after all he was a bit suicidal himself.

“just in case…” sunny butted in. “if the tests turned out bad, what will you feel?”

“I don’t know.” Taeyeon shrugged. “I don’t want to think about it.”

Why does she have to think about it?

“well you have to now.” Ryeowook said.

Taeyeon bit her lip and sighed.

“who wouldn’t be sad?” she thought aloud.

---------------------------------

Stone fountain

Taeyeon unconsciously fixed her skirt when leeteuk emerged out of the east wing of park manor. The latter squinted at her direction before putting on the rectangular framed glasses that fit perfectly above the bone of his nose. Leeteuk smiled when he met up taeyeon at the stone fountain.

“what’s this?” he was definitely enthusiastic on his friend’s decision to wear ultra feminine clothes for the day. he didn’t know why, but he was definitely amused at the thought, almost wishing that she should be like it for most of the time.

Taeyeon cleared and moved forward, reaching for leeteuk’s wrist.

“kaja.” She said. “we have to see the results of your tests.”

“results?” leeteuk pinched her hand before placing it to her side. Taeyeon stared at him with confusion in the eyes.

“yeah, results. Were going to see it now right?” taeyeon said. she didn’t know exactly what leeteuk was up to at the moment.

 “I’m sorry but I think for now I wouldn’t need a companion.” leeteuk said.

“why?” taeyeon immediately pouted at his decision. “you said yesterday that we’ll go together.”

“I changed my mind.” Leeteuk said. “anyways, its only the results, I’m not undergoing any tests anymore and it will be a hassle for you if you go there.”

“stop saying things, I want to go.”

Taeyeon quickly circled an arm around his friend.

“its okay.” Leeteuk chuckled. “I’d prefer you to go to the mall with sunny. You don’t want to miss some bonding time with your friends right?”

“but.” Taeyeon really wanted to go with him.

“i’m really sorry.” Leeteuk said. “but for now I think I have to go there alone.”

Taeyeon huffed some air.

“aish.” She breathed, letting go of his arm.

“I’m sorry dear.” Leeteuk looked at her in concern. “maybe next time, okay?”

“okay…”

Leeteuk sighed too. She doesn’t have to know what the doctor just said to him last night. He patted taeyeon on the head and went to look for his car.

---------------------------

Seoul hospital

Leeteuk stared at the paper that doctor song handed on to him.

“all positive for pulmonic valve insufficiency.” The doctor declared at once. He had made his patient undergo several tests to prove damages in other valves.

“are you aware of this?” doctor song asked his expressionless patient. leeteuk touched the topmost part of his nose and closed his eyes.

“it means, the blood supply to the lungs.” He explained. “is critical too, right?”

“yes.” Doctor song invaded a space on a table to leeteuk’s left. “before you only have one damaged valve, now you have two. Both right and left parts of the heart. which means you don’t only have a problem in your blood circulation to your organs, but you will also have a problem with the blood circulation to your lungs.”

“double effect to you. Not only that your organs will be insufficient for blood, but also to your lungs. This explains why you have frequent palpitations because your heart is overworking.” He continued, patting his patient’s shoulder.

Leeteuk nodded and heaved out a deep breath. His present condition all explains his hoarse breathing and difficulty to move up the stairs. The next thing he knew, he might be in need to have his own respiratory machine.

“you will stop anything that will harm you okay?” doctor song looked at him in the eyes. he was in his most utmost concern. Leeteuk definitely, has been a patient of him for years.

“okay.”

“how are you feeling?”

“honestly I don’t know.” Leeteuk said.

“normally, that will be the response.” Doctor song said.

Leeteuk bit his lip and placed the paper to the doctor’s desk.

“can I ask you something?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“yes jungsu, go ahead.”

“how many…” leeteuk had a mixed feelings with the words. He didn’t know if it was right for him to say it.

“what is it jungsu?” doctor song encouraged.

Leeteuk looked at him in the eyes.

“how many months more?” he asked. “do I have?”

 

It seemed that the question enough produced a great deal weight on his heart.

“you count days mister park.” Doctor song said gently. “sixty days or two months. We’ll be luckier if its more than that. I advise you to admit in the hospital immediately so we can monitor you.”

“and what? Make a countdown before I die?” leeteuk smiled. “this is natural doctor song. I’d rather have my life taken at a natural cause.”

He had chosen to live with the manor until the remaining days of existence.

“are you not even considering a heart transplant?” doctor song asked.

“even with surgeries, there is still a major possibility that it will fail.” Leeteuk said. he didn’t like transplants. He had promised himself not to undergo knives again.

“and we cannot do something because of your affidavit.” Doctor song sighed. All his thoughts are rummaged through the stupid suicidal affidavit that his patient made. If only didn’t make such appointment, he wouldn’t be in a big problem even with his ridiculous lifestyle.

“this is my chosen path.” Leeteuk said, breathing deeply. “I’m really sorry if it troubles you so much.”

Doctor song nodded on his patient’s decision. Disclosing matters to leeteuk really bugged him a lot.

“your school, do you---“

“I’m continuing my studies.” Leeteuk said. “I… I want to at least graduate. Its my senior year.”

“very well then.” The doctor took out a paper from his memo pad and started writing. “please make sure to buy these medicines before you leave.”

“okay.”

“and jungsu.”

Leeteuk folded the paper neatly between his hands.

“you’ve been a great person, I’m glad I met someone like you.” Doctor song said.

Leeteuk smiled, stood up from his seat and made a quick hug to his doctor.

“you’ve done well too.” He whispered. Leeteuk’s eyes twinkled for a moment he thought about his future. He had planned what he wanted in life, why does it seem that something was holding him back?

---------------------------

Seoul shopping mall

Taeyeon eyed a blue checkered long sleeves at the male wear section.

“where are you going unni?” sunny asked her.

Taeyeon pouted and raised the clothing infront of her eyes.

“I think this is good for leeteuk.” She said, ignoring sunny. “fits his skin tone and hair. Good with specs too.”

“what, what?” sungmin inched closer to taeyeon and bumped her head with a fist. “am I hearing this correctly?”

Taeyeon smiled and didn’t notice her friend talking to him.

“oh, are you talking to me?” she asked, suddenly noticing sungmin’s awkward stare.

“aigoo.” Sungmin checked on the clothes too. “what’s with you and you suddenly want to buy him clothes? Am I smelling something here?”

“anni.” Taeyeon interrupted him. “I just want to buy him clothes that’s all.”

Sunny pursed her lips.

“stingy unni buying clothes for rich oppa?” she said, joining sungmin. “I believe that’s suspicious too.”

“booya, what are you talking about?” taeyeon fanned herself. “this is out of good friendship.”

She took of the hanger from the clothes and let the clothing dangle on her arm.

“I think its still a bit odd.” Said sungmin, following her.

“ah, you’re still not getting that she likes him.” Sunny said.

Taeyeon stopped in her tracks and looked at the two.

“what?” her reaction was almost hysterical, making sungmin to hit himself at the row of clothes next to him.

“aigoo, what’s with me?” taeyeon scratched her head.

-----------------------------

Leeteuk’s room, Park Manor

Leeteuk opened his door and found taeyeon with a paper bag of newly bought clothes.

“hi.” Taeyeon entered his room and immediately hopped on to his bed. She had already missed the softness of the cushion and the pillows that were enveloped with leeteuk’s natural scent.

Leeteuk closed the door and followed her too.

“you seemed to be in a good mood today.” He noticed, sitting with her.

Taeyeon smiled and happily handed him the paper bag.

“I bought it for you.” She said giddily as leeteuk went to check the contents of what she bought. “I knew it fits you right and the color will be a good match for your dark hair.”

She didn’t know what made her buy the clothes, all she thought about was leeteuk and his reaction once he sees the gift.

“a light blue and white polo?” leeteuk put on his glasses and flapped the clothing infront of his face, observing every detail of the outfit.

“its nice.” He finally said.

“duh, do I look like I don’t have fashion sense?” taeyeon rolled her eyes but he can definitely see that she was happy at his remark. “you have to wear that, okay? I know you have many clothes but that’s a special one because it came from me.”

“okay.” Was all he said.

“what happened to your results anyway?” taeyeon changed the topic.

Leeteuk stopped looking at his newly bought clothes and bit his lip.

“its fine.” He said at once.

“define fine.” Taeyeon said.

“same results.” Leeteuk said. he already meant that his condition would always discover a new sickness, and he literally meant that he’s having one.

Taeyeon looked at leeteuk in the eyes but the latter just resumed fixing his clothes.

“did the doctor tell you anything about the findings?” she asked. What’s with him and his silence? She thought.

Leeteuk placed the paper bag to his bedside table.

“he told me to stop my bad habits.” He said. taeyeon was still looking at him like an inspector observing on a crack.

“okay then.” She said, believing in him. “I don’t know what you’re up to but I’m not going to ask you anymore since I’m happy that you like what I gave you.”

She stood up from the bed and placed both hands on her hips.

“taeng.”

“yes mister park?” she asked teasingly.

“I’d like to see you everyday starting today, will that be okay to you?” he asked.

Taeyeon’s eyebrows crawled into a crease.

“of course you’ll see me everyday.” She blurted, hitting his shoulder. “because I’ll be bugging you all your life.”

Leeteuk smiled and heaved out a sigh. taeyeon’s innocence really amused him, and he was partly thankful that she was like that.

“that’s disturbing.” He said. “but I like it.”

“you have to, its forced.” Taeyeon laughed. She heaved out a sigh too.

“taeng.” Leeteuk said again.

“yes?”

“have you ever felt that you want to fly but you also feel that you don’t want to because you’re afraid that you’ll leave someone behind?” he asked.

“what are you, an angel?” taeyeon joked. She casted a hand and gently slapped his forehead. “you know what, you are really out of your mind today. I think you need to rest.”

She flashed a smile and a funny wink via her right eye.

“I’ll be seeing you later, I’d like to know more about your day.” she said.

“if you’ll find me.” leeteuk said.

“I can track you down, I’m a spy remember?” she joked.

Taeyeon headed to the door, closed it and paced forwards the hall.

Leeteuk and his silence. Leeteuk and his ultimate weirdness of saying things. What’s with him? She thought. was there really with the tests that made him react that way? But he wasn’t mentioning anything terrible or bad news about it. all she knew was that the results complained of a new found disease.

Taeyeon almost passed by hyoyeon’s room when she heard the latter sobbing hysterically.

“hyo?” taeyeon didn’t want to intrude but leeteuk’s sister really bugged her out.

Hyoyeon immediately wiped her eyes and composed herself when taeyeon entered her room.

“what’s wrong, are you okay?” taeyeon asked her.

Hyoyeon shook her head and submerged herself into silent sobs.

“you can tell me.” taeyeon encouraged. If before hyoyeon used to annoy her a lot, now she seemed like any typical friend that she wanted to have as a sister.

“did oppa tell you anything?” hyoyeon asked, rubbing her eyes.

“oppa? You mean leeteuk?” taeyeon asked.

Hyoyeon nodded.

“what’s with him and you crying?” taeyeon continued. “you had a fight or something?”

“no.” hyoyeon’s tears fell from her face because she cannot stop herself from thinking about him.

Taeyeon placed a hand on her lap.

“tell me.”

“doctor song called our father, inyoung unni and me a while ago about the results of his test.” She said.

“yes about him and to stop his habits right?” taeyeon said.

“that’s not just it.” hyoyeon choked.

“then what?” leeteuk, you really have to explain everything later, taeyeon thought.

Hyoyeon sat up and wiped another tear flowing out of her eye.

“oppa had another valve damaged in his heart, supplying his lungs.” she continued, her other hand making a firm grip on taeyeon’s . “we were told that he only has months to live.”

-----------------------------

Taeyeon’s POV

Leeteuk, you rascal. What are you trying to do? are you making me crazy? Acting like you’re all fine when really you’re not? What do you want me to feel? Be happy when deep inside you’re really in pain? How could you do this to me?

Just when were starting to really open up with each other. And then you’re leaving me behind just like everyone else.

I don’t know what to say. I want to punch you in the head and make you feel how hurt I am. But I can’t because I care for you so much.

What should I do?

-----------------------------

Music room

He felt numb. Like he was sedated with an anaesthetic fully long before he realized what’s taking place. Is he really going to die? How is it to die? Is he even ready for the consequences? Leeteuk’s skin trembled with fear over the thought of leaving his family and friends behind. Only days… or months if even lucky. How can he make the following days special?

He had planned this. He knew it from the start. He wanted to be with her. he wanted to be with Ga-in, the love if his life. he missed her so much. Five years had been awfully long. But there was something in his heart that hurt everytime he would think of leaving. And he wasn’t exactly sure why he felt that way. Years ago he would tolerate every new born disease that he contacted, but now, it seemed as if he was not ready enough. As if a part of him will be left behind.

Leeteuk ‘s fingers glided on the piano and started to play his mother’s song for him. Heart and Soul. He would always play the song whenever he doesn’t feel right. The happy rhythm, the romantic lyrics, it would suffice to temporarily block his thoughts about the results of his tests. Leeteuk started singing to the sound of the grand piano emanating the voice of a blissful happy tune.

Heart and soul

I fell in love with you heart and soul

The way a fool would do madly

Because you held me tight

And stole a kiss in the night

Leeteuk smiled at the thought of the song as he went to play more. And once again, the sound in the music room was filled with the heartfelt piano piece.

Heart and soul

I beg to be adored

Lost control

And tumbled overboard gladly

That magic night we kiss

There in the moon mist

Leeteuk looked at his right and found kim taeyeon joining him in singing. Taeyeon. His jolly and amusing friend, taeyeon. He didn’t know that she had such wonderful voice. Such a small person but with a voice as powerful as the wind. It seemed as if an angel suddenly came to join in his side. She sat with him and continued singing too, blending with his cool voice. And together they looked at each other in the eyes as leeteuk’s fingers glided over the keys.

Oh but your lips were thrilling

Much too thrilling

Never before were mine so strangely willing

 

But now I see

What one embrace can do look at me

Its got me loving you madly

That little kiss you stole

Held all my heart and soul

 

Leeteuk’s hands stopped playing as taeyeon finished singing the last lyrics.

“I---“ he was looking at her, mostly in a surprise manner, aware of her sudden familiarity with the tune.

“you’re surprised?” taeyeon answered for him. Her eyes were puffy and red, and it seemed that she was holding back a tear, if ever a tear would even exist.

Leeteuk closed the piano lid and faced to her direction, confused.

“this is my mother’s song for me.” he said.

“yes, your mother’s song.” Taeyeon nodded too. She looked like she knew. And leeteuk felt so confused that he wanted to ask her more.

“how do you---“ he asked gently. It is a popular song after all. But he wanted to make sure, if what he’s thinking would probably be right.

“that’s the song that my piano teacher taught me when I was four.” Taeyeon replied. She was definitely smiling, and there was a hint of twinkle in her eyes that looked like she found something.

“taeng.” Leeteuk rubbed the side of his temples. “the boy with your piano teacher, you said he complained of chest pain right?”

Taeyeon nodded and continued to smile more.

“yes.”

“was he, by chance?” leeteuk’s vein in the head throbbed. “a boy who had a good smile?”

“yes, he does.” Taeyeon said.

Leeteuk’s head filled with flashbacks from the past. His mother, the girl who sat at the piano stool. The girl who smiled at him when he smiled too. The girl who complimented his smile. The girl who played the piano after she complimented him, the same brown eyes and long hair, the button nose that would twitch everytime she smiles.

Suddenly all the puzzles seemed to fit.

“I was so stupid of not realizing this before.” Taeyeon looked nervously at him. “I just knew when I heard you play.”

Leeteuk’s head was filled with more flashbacks. This time, he and his mother talking about the little girl with wavy hair. He had told his mother that he wanted to marry her because she had mentioned that he had a good smile. Leeteuk looked at taeyeon and ran a hand on her long locks. He didn’t realize this before too.

Taeyeon’s tears started to fall like drops of rain hitting the ground.

“how stupid of me to realize this late.” She said. “I found my treasure.”

-------------------------

Taeyeon’s room, Park Villa

Kim Tiffany closed the door partly behind her as she paced towards the area where her big sister is.

“unni.” Tiffany knew what happened. Even all others knew, all the household had been informed of Leeteuk’s critical condition.

“you’re not eating dinner yet, your food is getting cold.” Tiffany sat beside taeyeon and her long tresses. Taeyeon, after meeting with leeteuk at the music room, was now back in her own room, contemplating about his condition.

“you know what, its so ironic.” Taeyeon shook her head and smiled sarcastically at the thoughts emanating on her brain. “just recently, I found the boy I was looking for. And surprisingly, its leeteuk.”

“the boy you were talking about was oppa?” tiffany was surprised too. Taeyeon had been talking about the little boy all her life and her quest to find him when she grows up.

“yes, its leeteuk all along, the piano teacher was his late mother.” Taeyeon continued, circling her arms around her knees.

“so oppa was surprised too?”

“he was really surprised, because the girl he was talking about was me.” taeyeon smiled weakly. “we happened to have a same childhood memory at the place where I was taught a song.”

“oh my gosh, that sounds like fate.” Tiffany noticed. Taeyeon and leeteuk talking about a same childhood memory was a rare find.

“that’s what I hate about it.” taeyeon hit her fist to the soft bed and sighed. She looked above the ceiling, noticing how gleam her eyes were. A moment to decipher, then she will be crying again like what she did at the music room.

“I found him, I found my treasure you know.” Taeyeon told tiffany, who was rubbing her back for comfort. “and suddenly, I found out that he’s really sick. And I don’t know if I should hate him for not telling it to me. because I’ll know it somehow. This entire place knows.”

“maybe because he doesn’t want you to worry if he tells you directly.”

“worry?” taeyeon eased the throb of veins in her forehead. “I’ve been worrying about him all my life ever since I met him and he doesn’t want me to worry? He’s driving me crazy thinking just all about it.”

“I didn’t notice that you were so drawn to him.” Tiffany said when her sister bit her lip in confusion.

Taeyeon closed her eyes.

“I just don’t know how to live without him.” She said, tears streaming down her cheeks. Taeyeon’s brows formed into crease thinking about her future without leeteuk.

“unni.” Tiffany immediately rested her head on taeyeon’s shoulder, her arms embracing her. “I’m so sorry.”

“why now? Why didn’t I meet him when he was healthier, i could have taken care of him.” Taeyeon said in between sobs.

Tiffany sighed, patting her sister’s back.

“I’m really sorry unni.” Was all she could say.

-----------------------------

ahh.. sorry, this update is really emotional.. ;o

* "Heart and Soul" is a popular song, with music by Hoagy Carmichael and lyrics by Frank Loesser, published in 1938- wikipedia.com