Leeteuk opened his eyes.

He found himself inside a private room at the Hospital with taeyeon sleeping peacefully at the left of his bed, never leaving his side. Leeteuk blinked and stared at the embellished blue ceiling, then at the four corners surrounding it. He felt so unusually light today, as if his heart didn’t ache at all. As if he didn’t have any problems at all. He just remembered coughing blood just yesterday.was it yesterday? taeyeon even saw it with her own eyes. but somehow today, he just felt so unsually clean, like he didn’t made such an action.

Leeteuk sat up and looked at the sleeping taeyeon beside him. Her eyes appeared tired and swollen but she looked so angelic and innocent even in such state. Taeyeon must have had a hard time bringing him to the hospital, and he wondered who helped her do the part. She must have called for the agents or the guards on standby at the manor. Leeteuk uttered a slight tut and bit his lip, feeling sorry for her as he placed a hand to pat her head.

His hand just passed through.

“what the---“

Leeteuk quickly turned around in his seat and realized that he was separated from his physical being. The sleeping leeteuk’s face was almost entirely covered with a respirator, a machine measuring his heartbeat was situated at taeyeon’s right and an intravenous blood and dextrose were currently supplying him. Leeteuk’s heart appeared like it jolted from the appearance and the wonder he was seeing. He looked at his own self and noticed that his form appeared faded and almost transparent.

“wow, you are surprised.”

Leeteuk turned towards the door and was almost shocked to see a woman in a white dress leaning nearby, with crossed arms on her chest. Her hair remained loose atop her shoulder and she was wearing a warm smile across her face.

Han Ga-in.

“hello teukie.” Ga-in paced towards his direction and greeted the most important person of her life with a wave.

“how?”

“you can stand if you like.” Ga-in gestured.

Leeteuk looked again on his sleeping self, wrinkling his brows.

“how come my body is---”

“you’re in a coma.” Ga-in answered.

“I am?” he was intelligent enough to realize that his physical self was indeed unconscious and he was ideally in a form of a spirit. but still, he cannot believe that such event was taking place.
“am I dead?” was his another question.

“dying.” Ga-in helped him. “dying that you can see your body has been separated from you.”

Leeteuk touched his heart and tried to inhale few deep breaths before he could muster to get himself up.

“take it easy, love.” Ga-in took his hand and helped himself to stand.

“I can touch you?”

“of course you can, were almost on the same form.” Ga-in said. “you miss this kind of feeling huh?”

Leeteuk looked at taeyeon again and felt his heart wringing in pain.

“but I cant touch her.” he whispered.

“you wont be when you are in that form.” Ga-in was sad too.

Leeteuk touched the back of his neck and paced back and forth beside his bed, looking simultaneously at his comatose self.

“how long?” he asked flatly. He didn’t know the extent of his condition and he was really determined to wake up physically. Only that, he didn’t know what to do. he almost wished that he can shake his physical self awake.

“I don’t know, yesterday your heart almost stopped.” Ga-in said. “that’s why now you can see me. let me see… you’ve been sleeping for almost four days now.”

Four days now? Leeteuk thought that he just fainted yesterday. The memory of him coughing blood on the toilet bowl was still clear to his head and taeyeon scolding him about locking himself up inside the bathroom.

“how are you feeling?” ga-in checked him up.

“I feel…” leeteuk shook his head. “honestly I don’t know. This situation feels so weird to me.”

“you’ll get used to it.” ga-in touched his hand. “you have a lot of journey ahead too you know.”

She smiled and escorted him towards the door. “shall we?”

---------------------------

Taeyeon’s room, Park Villa

“so taengoo cannot go home yet, huh?” sungmin asked sunny, as the latter was busy packing taeyeon’s clothes. According to her, taeyeon didn’t want to go home from the hospital, and insisted that her friend pack her clothes for her instead. Sunny understood this all. Taeyeon after all, didn’t want to separate herself from leeteuk.

Sungmin threw in taeyeon’s bag of toiletries on the bag.

“it’ll be my first time to visit.” He said. “I don’t know how will I react when I see hyung in a condition like that.”

“I cannot stand it too.” sunny said. “I always leave the room tearing up.”

“aigoo, sunkyu.” Sungmin gently patted sunny’s back. “hyung will be okay. For now we will help taengoo get a heart donor, araso?”

“ne.” sunny bit her lip and placed in the last contents of taeyeon’s materials before zipping up the bag.

Taeyeon told her that there are at least fifty more heart centers needed to be contacted and she was more generous to find the heart centers herself.

“anyways.” Sunny turned to face sungmin. “I want to thank you for volunteering to drive for me.”

“its my pleasure.” Sungmin smiled. “cannot stand you doing aegyo.”

“you mean its effective.” Sunny beamed, hauling taeyeon’s bag strap to her arm. “kaja?”

---------------------------

Flower shop

Kim heechul eyed a pink tulip with wide eyes and smiled.

“teukie will like this.” He blurted, taking out three stems.

“no he wont.” Jessica butted in.

“yah, how do you know?”

“honestly?” Jessica paced towards a bucket of white roses. “oppa loves white roses.”

Heechul stared at the bunch of white roses dapped with water.

“how come you know?”

“duh, president?” Jessica emphasized. She’s the leader of the fallen angel’s fan’s club after all.

Heechul made a slight grumble and rolled his eyes.

“always gets the best girls.” He mumbled, referring to leeteuk.

“oppa.”

“ne?” heechul returned the three stems of tulips and moved towards jessica’s direction.

“who are you and why do you care about teukie oppa so much?” she asked, shocking him.

Heechul found himself babbling words that Jessica cannot decipher.

“what?”

“um.” Heechul tried to contain himself by doing tiny gulps upon his throat. “promise me you wont tell it to anyone unless hyung will allow.”

“okay.” Said jessica.

“I’m his half brother.” Heechul blurted.

“I knew it.”

“huh?” heechul bent his head sideways, divulging what the girl just said.

“the way oppa cared for you too.” Jessica said. “was really visible, so I assumed that you two really had blood ties.”

“ah, really?” heechul smiled sheepishly. Was leeteuk’s concern for him really that visible?

“you’re lucky that oppa prioritizes you so well.” Jessica said.

“yeah.” Heechul said.

“oppa.”

Heechul raised his brow. This girl talks a lot but it doesn’t bother him a single bit. it appeared like he just found his perfect match.

“that pink tulip.” Jessica pointed to the bucket of tulips and smiled. “that is my favorite.”

---------------------------

Leeteuk’s private room, Seoul Hospital

Leeteuk watched from the foot of the bed as taeyeon slowly raised her head from sleeping. Her neck definitely hurt from sleeping with her head sideways. Leeteuk smiled when taeyeon massaged a creased mark on her face, it was so cute of her doing that way.

Only that even if he talks he won’t be able to hear her.

Taeyeon took out her phone and a piece of a paper with contact numbers.

“yes, my name is kim taeyeon, hello.” She mused, playing with her hair. “do you have a heart that is compatible with negative AB?”

“ah, okay. It was already sold.” She sighed. “okay, thank you so much.”

She flipped close her phone and looked at the comatose leeteuk helplessly.

“why in the world you have a negative blood type?” taeyeon talked to him.

“I was asking that myself too.” leeteuk answered her. he can just pretend that taeyeon was talking to his spirit form.

Taeyeon sighed again and continued dialing numbers.

“taeng.” Leeteuk sighed too. “I am sorry.”

“yes, this is kim taeyeon.” Taeyeon glued the phone to her ear while looking at her sleeping beau. “yes, I am definitely in need of the heart. the recipient is in a comatose condition and I don’t know when he will be able to wake up. I just want to make sure that when he wakes up he will have the transplant immediately.”

“ah I see, thankyou.” Taeyeon closed her phone again and groaned.

“they told you that its sold out too.” leeteuk noticed, putting his hand on top of hers.

Taeyeon jolted from the coldness as if something struck her hand.

“ah, sorry.” Leeteuk removed his hand.

He looked at his sleeping self and bit his lip.

“you can tolerate this, huh? letting your girlfriend do the job for you?” he asked poking his physical self. If only his physical self would wake up, he wouldn’t have troubles conveying his feelings towards his girl.

 

Taeyeon continued dialing up heart centers when the door immediately opened, letting siwon and tiffany in. leeteuk wasn’t surprised to see the two since they have been always supportive of the couple.

“unni!” tiffany paced towards taeyeon and gave her sister an enormous hug. Siwon acknowledge taeyeon with a wave and turned his attention towards the sleeping leeteuk.

“hyung, I’m here.” he said, his eyes partially twinkling. Tiffany noticed it too that she went to encircle her arm around siwon’s.

“are you okay?”

“I just don’t like seeing him like that.” siwon sniffed. He tried containing his tears.

“yah, don’t be like that or I’ll cry too!” taeyeon playfully poked siwon’s side. “just think that he’s asleep.”

Even with leeteuk looking like he’s just sleeping, the presence of the heart monitor, respiratory tank, blood supply and dextrose didn’t seem to soften the effect.

Siwon sat on the bed next to the sleeping leeteuk and muttered a silent prayer, leaving taeyeon and tiffany stare in awe.

“Lord, you can do this, please let him wake.” He whispered, placing a hand atop of leeteuk’s  head.

“aww oppa.” Tiffany pouted.

Leeteuk in his spirit form stood up from his sitting position at the bed and leaned his body on the wall next to the window, staring at the scene. He felt so sorry for everyone, yet amazed at the same time, that such friends really do exist. He wrinkled his brows.

“I will be fine,don’t worry.” He told siwon. Even though his friend cannot hear him, he still felt it was the right thing to do.

The next thing he knew, the private room was filled with more people. Sunny, sungmin and ryeowook both came carrying taeyeon’s things and spent time talking to his physical self too. his sister, Inyoung, came thirty minutes after with an enormous bouquet of weird looking flowers. She stayed next to leeteuk too and observed every material attached to his body. Donghae appeared with yoona and sooyoung much to leeteuk’s surprise.

“oppa, needs to get well soon, ne?” sooyoung blew a kiss to leeteuk leaving ryeowook gape at such a scene.

“kyuhyun cannot come today because seohyun isn’t feeling well.” Donghae mumbled.

“its okay, she needs a lot of rest for the baby.” Taeyeon said. even leeteuk understood it well, preferring the maknae’s condition more than him.

Leeteuk looked around and hoped for any signs of hyoyeon. He hadn’t seen her yet. The last thing they conversed about was heechul’s incident. And he didn’t know whether hyoyeon had already forgiven him. Since eunhyuk wasn’t around either, he was hoping that he will accompany her to the hospital.

When the door opened, leeteuk thought that it was hyoyeon, but his hopes vanished when Jessica and heechul entered, carrying a bouquet of white roses. Still, leeteuk was grateful that the two came.

“we’re here!” Jessica said, raising up hopes for everyone. Heechul looked shy and embarrassed at the same time when he entered but felt a tinge of concern upon seeing the sleeping leeteuk on the bed.

“sica said that you prefer white roses than tulips.” He blurted, placing a charm on leeteuk’s hand. “I also agree that white suits you better.”

“oppa didn’t look like he slept well.” Taeyeon noticed as ryeowook raided the foodstuffs that the people brought.

“ne, I cannot sleep when he’s like that.” heechul said.

Leeteuk cannot help himself but to chuckle at such statement.

Heechul stared at his direction and his eyes immediately appeared like it popped out from its sockets.

“what t-the---“

Leeteuk was surprised too.

“oppa?” taeyeon noticed that heechul seemed in shock while staring at the window.

“are y-you s-seeing w-what i-i am s-seeing?” heechul stammered as leeteuk bent his head and crossed his arms more.

Heechul made a slight shriek and closed his eyes.

“oppa, what’s wrong?” taeyeon touched his arm.heechul shook his head and tried avoiding  leeteuk’s gaze.

“I’ll be right back.” He said, running outside.

--------------------------

Doctor Song’s room

“endocarditis and circulatory shock.” Doctor song told mister Park. “your son has inflammation on the deeper surface of his heart and transplant is needed immediately.”

Park Kyuwon’s heart raced at the mention of a new complication regarding leeteuk’s condition. A new condition. Just right after they made a fight regarding his inheritance.

“what about it?” asked mister park, as his trembling hands reached over a small piece of paper revealing his son’s lab test.

“this is a complication regarding his valves. This is what I’m telling you a long time ago if jungsu isn’t able to have a transplant in a quick matter of time.” Doctor song looked at the paper too. “if there is too much blood loss, circulatory shock occurs which makes him in a comatose condition.”

Right now, Leeteuk is in his unconscious self, leaving the doctor nothing to do but to wait until he wakes up.

“how long will he be in that state?” mister park asked. He didn’t want to estimate. He wanted to talk to him after what happened with their fight.

“it depends.” Doctor song said. “as long as we supply enough blood, give him enough medicines, and treat immediately the main cause, he will be fine.”

Doctor song’s mention of the word “fine” made mister Park doubt.

“I know what you are thinking, it is not likely that he will wake up immediately.” Doctor song pressed on. “but the kid fights, he’s determined to get well.”

“even with the transplant there’s still no assurance that he will survive.” Said mister park.

“that is.” doctor song leaned himself against the table and crossed his arms. “if you don’t believe him.”

“huh?”

“Kyuwon ssi.” Doctor song pressed on. “I’ve known you for years, I saw you spent a lot of money for Jungsu’s treatment but I haven’t seen you support your son even once. He had been battling his sickness alone.”

“what?” mister park said. “are you doubting my parental abilities?”

Doctor song shook his head.

“kyuwon ssi, your son lived because of your expectations of him. Because you want him to inherit your business. “ he said. “but that side of you showing your support even once,emotionally, he wasn’t able to see it.”

“you don’t have the right to tell me that, I paid all of his treatments and made sure he’s fine.” Mister park said.

“its not all because of money.” Doctor song said. “did you even console him when his mother and former girlfriend died?”

Mister Park opened his mouth to speak but cannot utter words that could match the questions of his doctor.

“money is indeed the root of all evil.” Doctor song muttered.

--------------------------

Leeteuk walked back and forth at the wide hallway outside his private room.

“heechul can see me.” he noticed.

“its because you made yourself noticeable.” Ga-in said. “don’t do that next time or you’ll scare him.”

 “I cannot stand this.” He pouted, crossing his arms.

“its just your first day in that form and you’re complaining already?” ga-in laughed. “just think of my suffering when I was watching you bereave.”

Leeteuk looked at her.

“taeyeon and me.” ga-in continued. “are like in the same condition. We both don’t want to lose you.”

Ga-in sighed and took a seat opposite leeteuk at the hallway.

“it was hard for me too.” leeteuk confessed.

“yes, I saw it.” ga-in said. “I wasn’t happy about the way you cope though.”

“good thing you know.” Leeteuk smiled.

He was thinking about taeyeon, and the possibilities of his existence. Will she be able to cope if something bad happens?

“teukie.”

“yup?”

“if I give you two options.” Ga-in said. “where will you go?”

Leeteuk sat and crossed his legs.

“what do you mean?”

“if two doors appear in front of you.” Ga-in continued. “the other door will mean going with me, and the other door will lead you to taeyeon. What door will you choose?”

“you mean the other door leads to the place where you are while the other door is earth.” Leeteuk simplified.

Ga-in chuckled and nodded.

“you know my answer.” Leeteuk said.

Ga-in nodded again.

“you really love her.”

“I just see my future with her around.” leeteuk said.

“I’m jealous.” Ga-in pouted. She and leeteuk looked at each other for a couple of seconds and laughed.

“I want you to know that taeyeon loves you very much too.” ga-in said matter-ofactly.

“you can see her thoughts?”

“I can feel it.” ga-in said. “I’m a girl too you know. I think she loves you more than I loved you.”

“why do you say so?”

“I thought I was the only girl who loved you to the extent that I can.” Ga-in placed two hands on mid air and separated it, forming a level. “but when I saw taeyeon and her past with you, the way she searched for you, how her body immediately reacted when somebody’s going on with you… I mean, even if the two of you weren’t in a relationship that time, it was just so intense.”

“and I saw how you care for her too.” she continued.

Leeteuk smiled until his eyes twinkled.

“so you saw the time I fell for her.” he muttered, gazing at his lap.

“you fell for her first.” Ga-in pointed at him.

“I was testing myself.” leeteuk chuckled, defensive.

He started forming an admiration for taeyeon when she shielded herself in front of him during their visit at the slums, although he would constantly test himself if his feelings for her were true. That time his wavering feelings for ga-in masked what he truly felt for taeyeon. The middle child of the Kim family all the while thought that she loved him first when it was really the otherwise.

Leeteuk bit his lip and played with his feet.

“why her?” ga-in suddenly asked.

“I don’t know too.” leeteuk looked up. “I spent time with other girls during your absence. Its just, she’s just different from them.”

“different from me too?”

“don’t compare yourself with her.” leeteuk laughed.

“no, seriously.” Ga-in raised the palm of her hands. “she’s really that special huh?”

“when your heart always jumps upon seeing her, and you always feel that you have to make her happy, and you just don’t feel right when she’s sad.” Leeteuk pressed on. “yes, I think she’s really that special.”

Ga-in nodded and smiled.

“I’m jealous again.” she wrinkled her nose.

“Han Ga-in.”

“dead people don’t feel jealous?” she said, making a face. “its true, jungsu. but I approve of her, don’t worry.”

“you are?”

“uh huh.” She smiled again. “ever since I knew that that girl could make you happy.”

-------------------------

Park hyoyeon sat on the grass and stared at the stars twinkling on the sky.

“so beautiful.” She said.

But the appearance didn’t seem to amaze her at all. She was still thinking of what she said to his brother leeteuk, the night before he had collapsed. She was sure that her action was unforgiveable right after she told him to go away.

She didn’t really mean it. it was just the incident just carried her away. her father’s introduction to her half brother was really intense, as if she couldn’t help it. she was really in pain that time.

Now that leeteuk’s condition got worse, all she could think of was to blame herself.

Eunhyuk, on the other hand, stared at his girlfriend in silence, wishing he could provide any comfort. He’d been telling her to go to the hospital as leeteuk would love it too but she hesitated, saying that its her fault that her brother went into comatose. Hyoyeon stressed out that if only she didn’t say such words at him, he wouldn’t have a heart attack.

“you still don’t want to visit your brother?” eunhyuk asked her.

Hyoyeon shook her head, rested her chin on her knees and stared at the ground below.

“but hyung would love to---“

“its my fault, okay?” hyoyeon looked at him. Eunhyuk scratched his head and sighed. “really, its my fault. If only I didn’t say that then he wouldn’t be where he is right now.”

“its not your fault that you were shocked.” Eunhyuk said. “you got carried away. the secret was kept for more than twenty years and its not for you to blame. Even inyoung noona was mad at leeteuk too. but see, she went to visit him still.”

“I don’t know if he’ll forgive me.” hyoyeon’s tears started to befell her cheeks, causing eunhyuk to immediately reach for his handkerchief.

“as long as you go there, he will be fine.” Eunhyuk said. “its better to go than not.”

“taeyeon unni is mad at me too.”

“who told you that she’s mad at you?” eunhyuk blurted as he patted her tears dry. “hyo, no one is mad at you. You’re just thinking that way because you were the last person who got mad at him. But you know hyung, he will only be disappointed if you weren’t there to support him.”

“you really know him more than I do.” hyoyeon muttered.

“he’s my childhood friend.” Eunhyuk cannot help but to smile. “of course I know him deep down.”

Hyoyeon sighed. Part of her wanted to go, but a part of her also was holding her back.

“let us say that if heechul hyung is there.” Eunhyuk asked. “are you still mad at him?”

“mad? No.” hyoyeon said.

She will be such an immature person not to accept things at a pace.

“you definitely grew up.” Eunhyuk said. he stood up and offered his hand. “come on, let’s go.”

“huh?”

“to the hospital.” Eunhyuk said. “your brother is waiting.”

“b-but”

“what?”

“how about tomorrow?” hyoyeon said. “please, I need to find the right words to say.”

Eunhyuk laughed.

“okay fine.” He said as hyoyeon stood up too. “just make sure that we’ll go tomorrow.”

“we will be.”

-------------------------

Leeteuk’s Private room, Seoul Hospital

Taeyeon had just finished calling the last heart center for the day with obvious horrid results--- either the heart she was looking for wasn’t available or was sold out much to her dismay.

Taeyeon looked at leeteuk, patted his hand and moved towards the couch to lie down. She had an emotionally tough day and felt that a little dose would at least help. Taeyeon had moved the couch next to leeteuk’s bed, so she would always watch for his heartbeat on the monitor.

She would love if he wakes up immediately, so she could be sorry for scolding him four days ago.

“teuk, I just need a little sleep, ‘kay? I’ll wake after an hour.” She said, invading the space on the couch. Good thing sunny was able to bring extra blankets. The couch felt weirdly cold and airy at her back.

 she scratched her head. There was always this cold presence that she cannot decipher. Her hand always felt that way since the morning, and she would always feel air brushing past her face. although weird it may seem, the presence felt rather comfortable.

“I’m sorry, does your back feel cold?” leeteuk asked. He was lying at her back, his hand brushing the top of her hair.

He could see taeyeon’s arms wrapped crossly on her chest but her eyes were completely closed. She was really tired.

“I am really sorry that you have to go through this.” He muttered, looking at her. taeyeon made a slight jerk but resumed to her sleeping position. “but I appreciate all your effort.”

That’s why his physical body needed to have all medications and blood supply as long as possible, so he would wake up and resume to his operation. Only that, the heart that he will need is still not available.

“taeng.” Leeteuk whispered. “if I’m gone, will you move on?”

He didn’t want to ask this question, but he didn’t know too about the consequences of his condition.

“do you still remember this line?” leeteuk began to wonder.

“*ddaeron meolli isseodo, gateum maeum hanaro, gateun ggumeul ggul su itdaemyeon.” He muttered, wiping a tear coming from his eye. “please remember that always.”

-----------------------------

*We could be far from each other, but the same heart will beat as one, dreaming the same dream.

-“forever” lyrics by SNSD (taeyeon’s line)

-why do I always think that this line from taeyeon is dedicated to leeteuk in real life? Hahaha :o