chapter 14
the good wife
changmin was always afraid of moments like this ,moments of confrontation .he couldn't continue to lie forever ,lying was never simple indeed all the lies in his life had drawn his energy out of him .he decided to meet jessica at her house -it was more private because he knew jessica very well she'll probably make a scene- as she went to make coffee he stared at her living room trying to come up with the right words he couldn't just say 'oh jessica you know my wife that I spent the last year hating ,I love her now and we made peace so yeah we will broke up' no ,he couldn't jessica doesn't deserve that even if he doesn't love her she was a good companion for the last years of his life .
"here" she handed him a cup of hot coffee ,he looked at her with an intense gaze and sighed "jessica I have something to tell you " jessica rised her eyebrow when he called her jessica rather then sooyeon it means that their is something wrong " what is it oppa ?"
he couldn't make an eye contact with her -it was so hard - " let's break up " jessica choked her coffee
" mwo ? are you kidding me ?it's not funny oppa !" changmin ran his hand through his dark hair -frustrated- " no ,I am serious jessica I.."
"why so suddnely ? did something happen with your parents ?" she was about to touch his shoulder but he got up abruptly ,now he is going back and forth in the room "no ,it's not my parents "
"then what ? you can't just tell me let's break up after four years of relationship ,explain !" by the tone of her voice jessica was clearly irritated of him "I love my wife " he said it calmely while sitting in front of her ,she stared at him with wide eyes her mounth slightly open from shock "you can't be serious ,you hate your wife .don't you ? "
" actually no ,I've been lying to you ,to my wife and most of all to myself "
"I can't believe it ,so why ? why lying to me ,saying you love me as if you even loved me !" she said rising her hands in front of her " besides you promised me ,that night or you thought you'll get out of this easily ?!" she continued in a menacing tone
" it was an accident jessica for god's sake ! "she stood pointing her finger at him " you lied to me you jerk ! and it wasn't an accident ,let me refresh your memory ,you were drunk that night !"
"but I didn't push you ,you fell !! "
that cold rainy night , changmin wasn't himslef -he was drunk - and eventually couldn't come back to his parents house ,jessica's home was a good place to sober a little or until the storm passes ,as he hardly oppened the door shaking with his keys the thunder growled loudly bringing light in the darks house .he didn't expect to see jessica up she was standing in front of him arms crossed with an angry expression on her face
" look who's here ? our cold princess !" his voice was palyful -alcohol's effect-- changmin couldn't keep his balance ,he couldn't even walk straight ,he walked relying on the furniture
"you are drunk !" he was smelling too ,jessica backed away from him
" good observation jung" he laughed " why you didn't come to my hospital examination,you promised me ! " she was shouting now with anger
" just for one day leave me alone ,I am sick of you sooyeon really I can't even stand to be with you in the same room " jessica couldn't believe him ,his drunkenness made him lose his mind "you are unbelievable ,I really hope you'll apologize tomorrow changmin ,I really hope" changmin shrugged his shoulder " I say what I want " he leaned against the wall ,closed his eyes smiling " I am so sleepy " losing her patience jessica turned around and went upstairs " I give up !" changmin opened his eyes to see her back climbing the stairs " don't be angry ,wait for me " he walked to her with shaking legs , she stopped and turn around " you really have to grow up ,you are going to be a father " her voice was craking -she wanted to cry - "did it occur to you for once ,just once what I really want? " even in his drunken state she could sense his seriousness " what are you talking about ? " he was getting closer " oh come on ! with the childhood I had ,did you think I could be a better parent then mine ? " he was in the same stair as her " but you could try " he laughed loudly his head falling back ,she got frustrated and decided to go downstairs he took her elbow with such a force " let it go " she tried to free her hand " I didn't ask to be a father you see ,do you think I am happy with your pregnancy ? " she was fighting his strong grasp " you are drunk ,you don't know what you're talking about " he was pulling her to him but she resisted " oh no ,I meant every word I said "
" leave me alone "
"let's go to your bedroom and play a little "she couldn't handle it anymore ,she shook her arm violently with all her power which made her lose balance and fall ,changmin froze watching her falling one stair after another ,horror crept in his mind .when his shock passed he tried to focus on jessica's body lying on the floor ,her eyes were closed ,glancing a little down he saw what he just did ,her silk white nightgown stained with blood :that meant only one thing
she lost their baby.
" maybe it wasn't your fault ,but you hated our baby ,how could you ? " jessica's voice was shaking a the verge of crying ,changmin shook his head trying to ease all his bad memories
" I did love him " he responded calmly ,jessica sat down and drank her coffee to ease her burning heart " I don't bliever you ,all the things you said .."
"I was afraid " he cut her " to be like my parents ,I wanted that child ,I was young and careless but I wanted our baby because of that night I can't sleep nor live normaly .what kind of father kill his own child " he put his face on his hands " I am sorry jessica ,really I am a jerk and liar .I don't desrve to live I.."
"did you love me a little, just a little ? " her voice was so low that he barely heard her " I did care for you ,but I didn't love you .at least not the way you desrve .I really tried but .." what could he say now ? no word would make her feel better
"leave changmin ,leave now I don't want to see you for now " her tone was firm and cold ,he looked at her for a moment trying to read her felling but nothing ,she was so calm and not caring "I am so sorry jessica ,I'll give you a break from work all your activities will suspended for now" she didn't reply her eyes focusing on the little square decoration on the coffee table ,when he reached the door, she spoke with the same low voice " chanyeol was right " he turned around frowing " what do you mean ? "
"he warned me four years ago about you ,I thought he was jealous he said you were just playing "
"he did ?" it wasn't a surprise for changmin ,knowing that chanyeol loved jessica like a crazy
"your brother was always good to me ,I wonder why ? " he knew jessica was referring to something much more deeper but he didn't say anything ,his brother was another story " you know very well why " he didn't want to continue this discussion ,she'll know about what he did four years ago to chanyeol and she'll probably hate him more
" that he loved me ? not so sure he never told me ,he even left without a word ,I never asked you why .chanyeol was such a good friend he didn't run awy to japan without a reason ,did he ?"
" he didn't run away jessica ,he is studying there and stop talking about the past !"he raised his voice to show that he wasn't willing to continue this discussion ,jessica smirked knowing that something was behind it and she wasn't about to let it go she needed revange after all and what better then to use chanyeol knowing that he wasn't getting well with changmin ,and of course if something happened to chanyeol ,changming will loose everything because unlike his brother he was just an adopted child " as you wish but I warn you shim changmin ,you'll regret this "
changmin went out to his car with a heavy heart ,he gazed at the clouds that were forming in the gray sky ,praying that joohyun will be safe from all the hate in his life ,now that he found someone to fight for he won't let her down ;joohyun was his light ,her love warmed his icy heart and he just couldn't let her down ,he loved her after all .
hello everybody !! I am late I know and I am really sorry :) hope you'll enjoy this chapter as well ! for my little sister FIFI I love you my baby <3
LOVE YOU MY DEAR READERS,YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE IN THOSE COLD DAYS <3
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