"So," Chansik said casually, eyeing me. "Gonna tell me what happened back there?"

My breath caught in my throat. I stopped searching on Google for our physics project and looked at him uneasily. After he had 'rescued' me from tHe cafe, I remained quiet - or else I would cry.

"Um," I stuttered nervously, my heart plunging down my chest as I thought of the happy, loving look on Woohyun's face when he talking to Minji after I had left. "Not really. I- I, um, don't really want to, um, talk about it." I swallowed hard. But the lump in my throat didn’t go away.

"Okay," he eyed me again but more cautiously. "Well, I'm here if you ever need to talk."

I nodded. "Thanks, Chansik." I went back to searching on Google, but I guess Chansik couldn't help himself. I saw him take a deep breath and bite his lip.

"Is that your boyfriend?" He asked, shutting his laptop, eyes greedy for information and also full of pity for me.

I sighed. I would never get away with not telling him. Not with his curiosity. "Yes," I said, trying to believe those words myself.

"But why was he with that girl as well? I mean - "

"She's the head cheerleader at his university. The coach said they need to fill out these forms, and she dropped them off personally for him." To my horror, my eyes were starting to fill with tears. I didn’t want to cry in front of Chansik. I never cried in front of anyone – not Hanbyul, not Woohyun, not my family, and yet here I was, on the brink of tears in front of a guy I had barely known for two weeks

He sat there for a while, absorbing this.

"Why personally, though? Is it because - "

"I quote her - "you're special."" I pulled a face.

"Well, Hana, I guess, well - he needs to apologise, at the least, for ignoring you at the cafe. And, I guess, not chasing you after you left. And, I guess, being an idiot by ignoring you. And I guess showing so much interest in that girl when he already has a girlfriend. And I guess for being dumb and stupid. And just - being a prick. Yes, he definitely needs to say sorry. The one thing I cannot tolerate is leaving someone out of a conversation," he added, muttering under his breath. “Despicable.”

"But should I text him?" The words escaped my mouth before I could help it. I needed a second opinion or else I would go crazy, over thinking the situation in my head.

"Hmm," Chansik pondered, scrunching his face up and pretending to think hard. "Nah. He should text you, or it might seem like you've forgiven him. Which you haven't, right?"

I shook my head fervently. Then, there was an awkward silence.

"So...." I began. "Did your mom like the garlic?"

We both burst out laughing. "I think she did," he answered, still chuckling. "You should come over some time. My mom makes the best porridge!"

I nodded. "We could do some study too." The words felt foreign on my lips. Study…?

"What?" Chansik asked, feigning shock. "Hana wants to study? Instead of hanging out with her boyfriend?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, but my heart panged. To be truthful, I didn't know if there would be boyfriend and girlfriend - us - after this. If I didn't text him, and he didn't text me, then either of us wouldn't be able to swallow our prides and apologise to the other, because I guess that was how we were. Stubborn as hell.

My mind wandered back to the time when I thought that Woohyun and I could still be friends after revealing ourselves to each other as emailing partners last year. It felt like a decade ago. I thought of how things could be different if I took the initiative and talked to him. If I swallowed that nagging feeling that I was annoying him - would we be here today? Would things between be the same between us, or different? If I stopped feeling that I was annoying everyone around me, that I wasn't worth their time, would I have more friends? Or just more enemies?

 It was always a habit of mine - feeling guilty when I shouldn't. I always preferred to do things alone, and I guess that was because I didn't want to burden people by waiting for me. I absolutely hated that feeling.

"Hana? Hello?" He waved his hands in front of my face. It's ok, um, lets just keep working, yeah?" Chansik's voice broke my thoughts. It was gentler, with a touch of hurt in it. I realised I had zoned out when he was talking, and bit my lip guiltily. He looked at me with sorrowful and apologetic eyes, but I smiled as brightly, my eyes with tears, as I could and continued my research.

Sneakily, I logged into Facebook to see if Hanbyul was online. I hadn't spoken to that girl in ages - I missed her a lot, and I really wanted to hear her opinion on what I should do. Thank the Lord that she was online.

Byul :S are you busy right now?

No, im free right now! what's up?

something bad happened with Woohyun today ;(

omg is everything ok? are you okay? what happened?

To my horror, I was beginning to tear up infront of the computer screen. Again. I coughed a little and blinked away my tears, because Chansik would think I was absolutely weird if he saw me crying at over 'physics research.' Well, more weird than I already was.

I hesitated in my reply, but Hanbyul took it as a 'no.' I felt my phone vibrate on the table and I immediately snatched it up.

"Byul," I cried, anxious to hear her calm, soothing voice.

"Hana dear, what's wrong?" As soon as I heard her voice, I felt like crying again. I was fully aware that Chansik was staring at me weirdly, as usual, but I didn't care.

"Byul," I wailed. "I met Woohyun at the cafe today after class, and everything was going good until a cheerleader from his campus came with some weird forms he had to fill out, saying that the only reason she personally delivered it to him was because he was special! I'm quoting what she said! I'm not even lying! Then when she came, they just started talked about cheerleading and football stuff that I had no idea about and I was just sitting there like a loser while they were flirting, right in front of me! And when I said I was going to the toilet they didn't even hear me until I yelled at them! Then Woohyun gave her a weird look and she was touching his arm and stuff, I know that that means she likes him! I know because I read all those magazines while I was waiting for the dentist last week! And get this Byul, she's his noona! She looks like a kid!"

I paused. I realised I was not making much sense right now.

"Hana?" Byul said with a strangled, amused voice. "Can you say that again? You talk so fast, I didn't even catch one word you said. I'm so sorry, baby."

I glared at Chansik, who was fighting back a laugh too by biting his lip and staring intensely at his textbook - which was upside down.

I slowly repeated what happened at the cafe - with a twisting, dreadful feeling in my chest and a hard lump in my throat.

Hanbyul gasped and swore twice. "Is that what he did? Are you joking? Hana, do you want me to go to his class and chop off his - " She paused. I could hear her fuming and breathing deeply to contain her anger. I knew that I should be angry too, but I was too hurt to feel anything else. I had a dreaded, awful feeling inside me that something like this would happen after high school, and my worst fears had been confirmed.

"Should I text him?" I asked her tentatively.

"What? You text him?! Kim Hana, if you so as much type in his name in the message field, I swear to God I will come to your house and strangle you. Hana, I'm not joking - don't. He needs to know that you're angry and annoyed at him for being dumb."

"But Byul," I cried. "I don't even know if he knows I'm angry. Do I have a right to be angry?"

She sighed. "Kim Hana, for such a smart girl, you can be really dumb sometimes. Leaving someone out of a conversation, especially you, is a such an insensitive thing to do. It shows how immature and childish he is - he can't hold a conversation including all three of you." She sighed. " Do you want me to speak to Sunggyu about it?"

I shook my head. "No, Byul, please. I don't want Woohyun to know. Please."

She sighed again. "But - Hana - okay. I just wish you knew how much I want to be there and give you a hug. Text me later, okay? I love you. You two are the most weird, opposite and unconventional couple that I know. Everyone has their problems. Don't worry! He'll come through."

"I love you too, Byul. I love you," I sighed. What would I do without her?

"Not as much as you love Woohyun," she teased. "Okay. Bye!"

I said bye as hung up. Chansik was still staring at me intensely. I quickly wiped away my tears and got up from my chair, starting to pack away my things.

"Chan....um, thanks for saving me today. I think I should go. I needa - do - something." Go home and cry. "I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks again!"

I gave him a small smile and heaved my bag over my shoulder and hurried out of the library. On the bus home, my head was overflowing with thoughts. Should I let him know I was angry, or ignore him and let him apologise to me himself? But, if I didn't let him know, would I be the one who had to crawl back to him in the end? I groaned and rolled over. I slept that night hoping I had made the right decision to not text him.