Hana wrapped her arms tightly around her chest. This was to preserve her bodily warmth, but also to keep herself together. If she could somehow keep her palpitating heart from jumping out of her chest, she would do it. At any moment, Hana was in danger of losing her mind.

It was hard being stubborn to oneself. After all, who were you fighting? It was the conflicting sides of your mind. The constant battle between what is real and what you want to be real. The constant battle between a risky payoff and a risk you should not have taken.

Shivering in the cool evening breeze, Hana wished she had been smarter about the night. Her battery of her phone was dying, and she didn’t think to bring a jacket or a coat. At the thought of meeting Woohyun, all common sense and clarity flew from her mind like a dove being freed from a cage.

Hana was tired of being rejected. She was tired of not even being considered as a choice. She was tired of society’s high values for looks. Hana was content for settling for second best; but now even second best didn’t want her.

Woohyun hurried to his car and turned the key to ignite the engine. It took a long time to warm up, much like his cold heart. He didn’t know where Hana had gone. He was unsure if she called her friend to pick her up, or if she caught public transport. If she was really stupid, and had a wish to get sick in this weather, she would have walked home. He knew that Hana would want time alone after he had rejected her in cold blood. Again.

Was he human? He had been a cruel person to a girl he cared so much for too many times to even count. He didn’t deserve such a bright, happy person in his life if all he did was live to take away that smile.

Woohyun lashed out and hit his steering wheel. He was torn between caring for her and loving her and his duty to his team to maintain an image. Football was a shallow sport, and as much as players and commentators denied it, your image off the field was important as your performance on it. Why do many of the world’s top athletes – Tiger Woods, Rafael Nadal, Kobe Bryant – all have beautiful, gorgeous girlfriends? They have an image to maintain.

Woohyun’s eyes scanned the streets, looking for a small, shivering figure in the looming darkness. If only he was brave enough to defy these unwritten, unspoken social rules. And if he were, by some miracle, it would be Hana who would be hurt. She was the outsider to the circle of athleticism and it’s aesthetics. 

He was kidding himself, though. If he thought that the only reason he wasn’t getting back together with Hana was because of the whole social rule thing. Was he? Woohyun was superficial – even he admitted it himself. But it wasn’t easy to change something set in stone.

Hana saw a car pull up beside her at the same time Woohyun’s heart flipped in his chest. He had found her, he thought. He had come after her, she thought. Both shocks of hope died down after it was clear neither was budging – Hana would not get in the car, Woohyun would not leave until she with him. Both were stubborn in their own right.

“Hana,” Woohyun spoke softly, foot leaning lightly on the brake so the car crawled at a walking pace. “Please. I’ll take you home.”

“Woohyun, you know I can’t,” she whispered, not looking at him, craning his head of his window. She was afraid that any conviction, any pride or dignity she had left, would disappear faster than smoke if she looked into those eyes that held so much love and care.

“I’m sorry,” he breathed. “Hana. Please – don’t be so stubborn. You’re going to freeze to death if you walk home.”

“I would rather freeze to death,” she replied shortly, exhaling a shaky breath. She turned to look at him. “I would rather freeze to death than die of a broken heart.” She picked up her pace and walked faster, ahead of the car.

Those words hit home for Woohyun. Of course she was still suffering, even though she tried everything in her power to show that she was not.

“Woohyun,” she stopped walking, paused, and took a deep breath. “You can’t always treat me the way you want.” Her voice sounded thick with tears. He stopped the car.

“The first week of university, you broke up with me because you found a girlfriend who was prettier than me. I accepted it – that, okay, I’m not good enough for you. I accepted it, even after everything we had been through.”

She made a noise halfway between a gasp and a sob.

“When I get close to a guy, you get all jealous and accuse me of cheating. But Woohyun, did you forget that we had broken up already? I was free to do whatever I wanted, but still you tried to control me.

You invite me to your mother’s dinner party even though you know I’m still suffering from –  everything. You give me your jacket when I’m cold, just like old times when really, you don’t want anything to do with me because you know I will ruin your image.

You invite me to eat with you and Hyeri. You invite me to your dates with Minji. Do you know how much that hurts? Seeing you two together? Just being with you?

Woohyun, you invite me to dinner, just the two of us. You can’t do that, you know!? It’s – it’s wrong.

I have feelings too, okay? I’m not some desperate, naïve girl you can push around and treat as you please.”

She turned to look at the boy she had just rendered speechless.

“Please. I’m begging you, Woohyun. For the sake of my heart and my sanity, please just…”

She took a deep breath. Moments passed. She looked him straight in the eye.

“Please, just leave me alone from now on.”

The boy was too shocked to move. The girl was too shocked at what she had just said.

Woohyun rammed on the brakes and watched as Hana’s figure disappeared more in the distance. Fingers shaking, he dialed the first person he could think of. Minji.

Hana sped up her steps and hurried away from the mess she had just made. Unlike Woohyun, she would be calling no one. The only thing that called to her was a nice, long hot bath and a deep sleep. One she hoped she would never wake from. 

Hey guys, quick question: what do you think of this writing style I've been using in the last few chapters? I wanna hear your thoughts^^
Thanks for sticking with this story ♥