~Third person point of view~

Thoughts were running each through the boy and girl’s minds as they waited for service at the counter to ask for a table for two. Little did they know that only three people separated them in the queue.

Woohyun’s mind was full of conflicting emotions. He had broken up with his high school, real, true love for a girl who was supposed to look good on his arm; arm candy, and nothing more, nothing less. He did this for the sake of his team. They needed a leader who they could trust to abide by all rules – even the unspoken social expectations. He did not realize that she came with such… consequences. Consequences as severe as a restraining order against her. He decided, after two weeks of contemplation, to contact Hana and warn her. Warn her that she should stay away from Minji and her possessiveness.

Hana’s mind was full of confusion. Why was Woohyun calling her out to meet at a restaurant that held so much meaning and sentiment for them as a couple? She had been feeling so lonely lately. There was no saying what she would do in front of Woohyun. Loneliness was consuming.

Chansik had been spending more time with Hyeri lately. Although she had spent the majority of the past few months avoiding Chansik, she still missed his company. She missed his goofy smile and his awkward stares.

Her mind wandered to the time that Chansik had blatantly blew her off. She was running errands for her mom at the shopping centre, and she had bumped into Chansik and Hyeri who were sitting outside a café. Hana raised her hand to say hi only to be met with an awkward grimace and blank stare from Chansik. Feeling stupid, she walked away quickly and sat in the car, trying to calm her palpitating heart. She wasn’t sure where they stood after that.

Woohyun reached the front of the line first. He asked for a table for two, preferably in a quiet place where other people couldn’t listen in. He imagined it would be a delicate topic to tell Hana she was being harassed and stalked by someone he chose to replace her with.

When Hana reached the start of the line, she asked the waiter if there was already a table reserved under the name of Nam. He nodded and led her through the restaurant.

Their eyes met. Time seemed to stop. Something passed between them, like an unspoken thought or a secret longing becoming noticed. It made each of their hearts race in a forbidden, exciting way.

 Hana broke off their gaze first and let her hair fall down past her face to hide her blush.

“Hana.” Woohyun spoke her name in a soft, tender voice. She swallowed, still avoiding eye contact.

He continued, feeling his heart swell at the sight of her struggling with her emotions because, secretly, he was struggling too. The air was too tender, too fragile.

“There’s something you should know about Minji.” At the mention of her name, Hana’s head snapped up. Of course they would be talking about her tonight. What else? It was the only thing that Woohyun liked to talk about. Minji this, Minji that. All he was doing was plunging a knife deeper into her heart.

To her horror, her eyes were starting to fill with tears. Woohyun, in alarm, reached out instinctively to touch her arm. She pulled it away as soon as he made contact. An unexplainable electric shock travelled up her arm, sinking into her blood and conjuring goose bumps all over her body. Her breath caught in .

“Sorry,” he apologized. “Hana, are you okay?”

She ducked her head again. Her cheeks burned. They had broken up, and he should not be igniting such emotions from her. And she should not be feeling them – she had no right to.

Hana wished he would stop saying her name in that way. It sounded like he was pouring his heart and emotion into that two-syllable word.

“I’m fine.” She looked up and braced herself. Her eyes met with dark pools of fire. Woohyun’s eyes were burning with a fury she could not identify. “Go on. What about lovely Minji?”

He sighed. “Not lovely Minji. Stalker Minji. Restraining order Minji.”
Woohyun stared plainly at Hana, gauging for her reaction. 

It took a few moments for her to register. “What?” She gripped the tablecloth tightly. “Say that again?”

“In eleventh grade, she stalked her boyfriend and tracked his phone. She thought he was cheating on her because he was being secretive about where he was going. She followed him up to the mountains, only to find him at his grandfather’s burial site. She made a scene, terrible, dishonoring and embarrassing his family. His parents filed a restraining order the next day, they were so angry.”

Woohyun never once removed his eyes from Hana’s. Her tear stained eyes were beautiful.

“What does this mean, Woohyun?” She whispered. How he wanted to give her a hug, there and then. The way she said his name made him feel weak at the knees. There was not much that made him feel powerless. But the way Hana said his name was one of them – so many things contained in that word. It would never sound the same to him again.

Finally snapping out of his daze, Woohyun thought about the answer to her question. What did this mean? It meant that Hana should stay away from Minji. But for him? It didn’t mean anything. It was almost a rule that the captain of the football team should date the head cheerleader. He would not bring dishonor to his club by being the one who disobeyed this unspoken rule.

“You should delete her number and stay away from her.” He smiled. Her heart skipped a beat. It was that crooked smile she had missed so much. “You don’t have to worry about her. I’ll make sure nothing happens. I’ll – I’ll protect you.”

Hana smiled. Her eyes turned into crescents, melting Nam Woohyun into a puddle in the middle of the restaurant. “I’m not afraid of her, Woohyun. I can take care of myself. What I mean was, what does this mean for you?”

A smile and his name again. He should really get a grip on reality, because what he was feeling was wrong.

“Nothing. It means nothing to me.” Woohyun saw the concern in her eyes and brushed it off. “Nothing at all!”

“But…” She paused, biting her lip. “Will you still be together with her? Even after this?”

Hana wished she had never asked that. The hope in her voice was heard by both of them. By asking that, she revealed the contents of her heart. She was lonely and sad.

Woohyun realized that the new information of the mental state of his girlfriend was a legitimate reason to break up with her. He had realized that the moment she told him. He had done a lot of unhindered and selfless thinking over the past two weeks and came to the conclusion it wasn’t worth the distraction and uproar that would happen following their break up.

So Minji would track his phone. She would follow him when he went out with Sunggyu. But none of that mattered, because one thing she couldn’t access was his mind. And it was only in his mind that he longed for Hana.

He smiled sadly. “No, I’m still staying with her.”

He tried not to look at her face. But her reaction could not be described as anything but shocked and hurt. His heart thumped unevenly. Why was she so sad about my answer?

Woohyun froze. His mind clicked. He knew now. He handled this badly. He realized by putting two and two together. Hana thought that news of Minji being a stalker would mean he would break up with her and get back together with Hana. The hope in her voice was unmistakable. Woohyun realized the false hope he had left floating in the air, and the damage it had done. He had cut her deep.

“Hana, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that – I – “ He sighed. “Sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” She smiled, eyes glistening. “It’s not your fault. Just mine. I’m overthinking it, like usual. I’m a er for false hope, remember?”

Her smile broke his heart.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go,” Hana said, getting up quickly from her seat, head ducked again. “Thanks for tonight.”

Woohyun stood up to help her put on her coat, but she already grabbed it and rushed out the door.

He sank back into his seat. He had envisioned the perfect night – breaking news of Minji gently, having a nice meal and then strolling in the park behind the restaurant before dropping her home. But they hadn’t even ordered yet.

Hana rushed out of the restaurant and counted to ten before letting her tears flow out. The wind whipped at her bare legs and shoulders. It felt raw but she didn’t care. Hope, she laughed. It never lives up to our expectations. Nothing ever does. We should all just settle for the second best because in the end, we all get hurt.

She took a deep breath and looked at the stars. Why did this hurt so much?

Stars, moon, sun, she thought with a lump in and a tear stained face. Why does no one like me? Why does no one want to care for me? Am I that bad? Woohyun finds out that his girlfriend is next to psycho and he still chooses her over me. Chansik has a girlfriend and now he wants nothing to do with me.

She pulled out her phone for no particular reason. No missed calls, no texts. But what did she expect? She expected no missed calls and no texts. There was a small hope that there would be one from Woohyun. This small hope should be shot because hope, no matter how big or small, had the power to over ride the most sane and obvious things. It should be ceased to exist because all it brought was more pain and suffering.

Wiping her tears, Hana began the walk home. It would take fifteen minutes by car, but on foot it would take at least two hours. She didn’t care. She would do anything to distract herself from the thoughts raging inside her head right now.