Please accept my sincerest apologies for not updating for such a long time T^T First semester of university took me by surprise, and finals week was so hectic. But, good news is, I'm on break now! I'll endeavour to finish this story. Thanks for sticking with me :-) 

My lips touched his. We stayed like that for several moments, our hearts beating furiously beneath each other. I felt a bit weird, like this kiss was not right, yet it was so wrong that it was right.

I was afraid to open my eyes. Were Chan’s eyes open right now, or closed too? What emotions were he feeling right now? Right about now, I was regretting my spontaneous decision to kiss him. It was clear by the way that I didn’t feel any sparks or fireworks that I still had feelings for Woohyun – as much as I hated to admit this to myself.

I lifted my eyelid the smallest and saw that Chan’s eyes were open and widened in such a shock expression that I could only hold down a burble of laughter. I immediately pulled away from him and started giggling.

“Hana?” He asked timidly, putting his hand to my forehead. “Are you okay? Are you drunk? Too much coffee at the café with Minji just then?”

I slapped his hand away but I didn’t reply. I flopped back onto the grass and took a deep breath.

“Chansik, I’m sorry, I really am.” I paused. “I don’t know what – “

“Shh, it’s okay,” he said, reading my mind and saving me from speaking those awkward words. “I know. It was weird for me too. I understand. Me too, Hana.

I exhaled loudly. “Sik, honestly, I love you so much and you’re my best friend. But – “

He chuckled. “Yes! I know! Hana, stop being so awkward. I already said I understand it!”

“Okay, good. Just checking.” I laughed nervously. Then I eyed him. “Will this change anything between us?”

He punched my arm, and I already knew his answer before he opened his mouth. “Nope. I’m still the super handsome guy who all the girls love. You’re still the lonely girl I know who’s been carrying demons since high school.”

I winced at his words. The truth of them cut deep. “I – I’m trying,” I began. “I’m trying to change. But…sometimes, things are so set in stone you can’t, I guess, you can’t, change them.” I sighed. Like Woohyun and his preference for beauty.

“I know, Hana. It’s hard. And, well, no one expects you to make the transition straight away.”

I felt my eyes water and I sniffled loudly. Chansik, sensing something was wrongly, wrapped his arm around my shoulder awkwardly and patted me like I was a dog of some sort.

“Chan!” I made a noise halfway between a sob and a laugh. “I’m not a dog!”

“I know that,” he said confusedly. “When did I ever say you were a dog?”

I looked at him lovingly. The amount of gratitude I felt toward him was infinite. How he was always just there for me, never judging, always understanding – well, at least pretending to. I knew for a fact that Chan never really 100% understood half of the things I said to him, nor the emotions I felt.

I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Thank you.” I whispered. “You’re really special.”

“But I never said you were a dog!” He protested.

 “Okay, Chansik,” I replied vaguely, dodging an explanation because I couldn’t be bothered to explain.

He looked at me weirdly, and then lay back next to me on the damp grass. I knew I would get grass stains on my jeans but I didn’t care.

“The stars are nice tonight,” I commented after a long, comfortable silence.

“Hana, what do you do if you like someone, but you don’t have the guts to talk to her?” Chansik took a deep breath and spoke in a rushed tone, like he was waiting for me to break the silence first.

I sat up. “You like someone? Chan, oh my God, tell me! Who is it?!”

“No one,” he grunted, rolling over so his back was to me. “Forget I ever asked.”

I winced. “Okay, I’m sorry.” I paused. “What you do, is you find something you have in common to talk about. No matter how hard you try and make it seem like you’re not interested in her, it will come off as that way, but you just have to trust that she likes you back a little bit if she talks to you.”

He had turned back around to listen to me. I continued my love lecture, although I was in no way or form fit to share advice of love.

“So, find something that you’re both interested in and just up your nerves and go talk to her. Give it some time, and then talk to her again. You have to be slow, but not too slow, seem interested but not too interested, and come on strong but not too weakly either. You also have to make sure that you’re funny and charming, but not to the point of greasiness or just lame humor.” I paused, realizing that I was contradicting myself. Just a little. “So yeah. Just be yourself, Chan, and whoever she is, she will love you. I know it. What are you scared of?! You’re a smoky boy,” I snorted.

“Okay, Hana,” he chuckled, imitating me when I couldn’t be bothered to explain.

We were both silent for a while.

“So. Do I get to know who it is?” I asked, elbowing him.

“Nope. I’m never going to tell you, or you’re going to make it really obvious that I have a thing for her.”

“I won’t!” I protested. “Honestly, I’m a great wing woman.”

“Maybe I’ll tell you later,” he said secretively. “Not now. It’s still in the early stages.”

I nodded, vowing secretly that I would find out who the object of his affections were. The thought of anyone hurting him made me flare up with white-hot anger.

We stayed at the park a little longer, making small talk about everything and anything. Well, it was mostly Chan talking because he just loved to voice his opinions on everything, while I lay next to him, half listening and half deep in my thoughts.

Chansik was afraid to talk to the girl he liked. This was like the time I found out that Woohyun was Woohyun. I wasn’t sure if I was annoying him if I talked to him, even though we had a million things to discuss.

“Chan, what time is it?” I finally found an opening for me to speak during his incessant rambling. This boy did not have a trap for his mouth.

He fumbled around to find his phone. “11pm,” he said. “Should we go? It’s getting late.”

I nodded, and Chansik got up first, extending his hand to help me up. I took it gratefully, and he pulled me up, light as a feather.

“Should we eat, though? I feel so hungry all of a sudden.” he said, not realizing it had been a long time since we left the café with Minji.

I nodded. “Let’s have a feast! Eat meat! Celebrate your recent…. affections. And my recent… revelations. There’s a meat restaurant near here, we should go and then catch the bus home, sound okay?”

Chan nodded and we strolled amply toward the main street, absorbing the nightlife. It had been quite a while since I had been out like this.

“A table for two, please,” Chan said as we arrived to the restaurant. The smell of barbeque was already making my mouth water.

“This way please,” the waiter led us into the restaurant, holding two menus and a bottle of water.

As we were walking in, Chansik stopped moving abruptly, causing me to walk straight into him.

“Hana,” he said in a strangled voice that I had never heard him use before. His cheeks were slightly flushed. “Should we go some where else? I don’t – I just want to, - I – “

“Chan, what’s up?” I grabbed him arm. “Are you okay?”

I followed his gaze and my heart dropped. Woohyun was sitting at a barbeque table with a girl I recognized from my physics lecture. I knew what Chansik was saying immediately, and I hoped to duck out before it was too late.

But did I really understand what Chan was saying? Was he really just warning me about Woohyun? Or was it something else?

I followed the line of his sight more carefully and realized that he was staring at the girl, not Woohyun.

I put two and two together. This was the girl Chansik was asking me about, not two minutes earlier, here, sitting in the meat restaurant, looking awfully close to Woohyun. Who, I reminded myself whilst still in a daze, had a girlfriend. Who was Minji. Not the girl sitting super close to him. It was Minji, the girl Chan and I had met earlier in the afternoon for a coffee.

What was going on?