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Here you go!

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♪Opening    

●Title-3/5

Hell. Of course I would click on this story right away after seeing the title. Although it’s not original since I had come across quite a lot of stories involving the main lead being the maid of idol groups. It doesn’t eliminate the fact that I’m a er for these stories, and I’m sure others are too.XD IT just lacks a little originality, that’s all~^^

●Poster+Background- 4/5

I love the way all the super junior members’ pictures are mend together and give a sense of unity+closness between these dorks. Not sure if the title relates to the story and the title though, since there isn’t a picture of a maid/girl anywhere. The catch phrases awesomely communicate the message of the story and therefore saved you on this one:D

●Description+Foreword- 10/10

Definitely a catching description you did there!!! Wahhh seriously though, after reading the description of your story I forgot that I was suppose to jot down some notes and just couldn’t stop myself from clicking the ‘next’ button!^_^ I loved the way it’s making the readers curious of what’s going to happen next!:D Really really intriguing. Well done!

>>Total: 18/20<<

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♪Contents

●Creativity/ Originality- 8/10

At first I really thought this is just an ordinary story featuring the main girl being the ‘maid’ of an idol group, and a few members then start developing affection towards the girl. But hey! Never thought that Jade would turn out to be an anti after the first day with Super Junior! Although all her suju fandom didn’t totally evaporate to nowhere, it was interesting to read from an anti’s mindset who was previously a fangirl of Super Junior. Your story potrayed the storyline pretty excellently as well by going through what Jade’s feelings were like from how she used to be an E.L.F to an anti, then back to showing slight affection towards the idols again in detail. Just the fact that I’ve read so many ‘maid’ stories and that use of term is pretty common around here, so it brought the marks down a little.>< Mian!

●Plot- 17.5/20

I remember you telling me that the story hasn’t gotten into the main plot yet right? Well so far, so good! It’s very interesting and definitely leaving the readers wanting more! (I’m one of them..xD) Surprises were everywhere- Eg) The Eunhyuk punch.(It was mean, but still!><); Eg) The Fire at Haeundae Beach.(It was TOTALLY unexpected.) etc. But I sometimes find awkward jumps from events to events.

For example, after the odyssey with Sungmin and moving in with members, it suddenly jumped to Music Bank? I would have wanted to read more of the aftermath of events with members in their dorm, but that was well developed later in chapters so it’s okay. Sometimes Kyuhyun’s alternating altitudes caught me off guard. (Especially in Chapter 13, in which I was quite confused with his personality.)

But I do like certain areas where you were able to link silly stuff to big issues. Eg) After the ELF attack, Jade tripped over Yesung’s baseball bat and went flying on the floor. (that was soo funny. I laughed out really loud.xD) But then her migraines then started to work up and led to the revealation of her illness with Sungmin. The way you linked events here was definitely worthy of my applause!:D And I think the fact you’ve got so many readers and subscribers is because of your plot! So keep it up!:D

●Chapter Titles(if applied)- 4/5

Pretty much all the chapter titles were relevant to the events involved in each chapter. But some particular ones such asChapter 5 (Super odd day)- which generalized the whole chapter just a little too much and the chapter didn’t really have a purpose; Chapter 20 (Who’s the little boy?)- the title was just based on Yesung’s question at the end; Chapter 25- title was just based on Heechul’s small part when he was buying soda etc; But chapter titles like Chapter 24 (Stuck with the Unwanted Guys) was gripping and showed a perfect example of what a sample chapter title should be like. So thumbs up for you!

●Flow- 7/10

As I said before, some chapters seemed to be a little jumpy and didn’t really continue the flow there. But generally the story flows quite well and it was very comfortable to read. Characters DEFINITELY developed well throughout the story, main examples would be Heechul, Eunhyuk, Kyuhyun,(more at the end chapters). The relationship of them with Jade in the story developed most obviously as well, while the others, not so much. Sungmin’s character development didn’t really stand out here, since he was already kind of nice and flirty at the start, and that didn’t really change throughout the story, not that I’m complaining!:D The story can flow better, try putting in aftermaths of some events to avoid awkward jumpy scenes?^_^

>>Total: 37.5/45<<

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♪Expression

●Characterisation -12/15

1) Jade: At first I love the way how you’re slowly revealing her background information, where she comes from etc. It’s not done not too fast or slow and just perfect. But sometimes I couldn’t find words to describe her personality? Tomboy? Her personality seems quite boyisy to me but she said she wants to be a girl sometimes; Friendly? She doesn’t eat with them at first but that started to change I’ve noticed. I love Jade, just maybe try to shape her personality a little bit more?

2)Heechul: His moodswings were really freaky at the start, being nice for a second and totally angry the next. But I guess that’s what makes him Kim Heechul!XD In later chapters I don’t see moodswings anymore, I know it might be of the fact that he had gotten closer to Jade and started to show affection towards her. (I totally adored their moments!) But being grumpy and crazy are his special traits right?:DD But it’s nice to see the difference between the old him from the start and the him right now!

3) Kyuhyun: One that I couldn’t grasp onto quite clearly. In early chapters he didn’t really have that many lines, so I thought he wasn’t a main here, but later when he started to appear more and when I checked back the main character information you gave me, it was then I noticed he’s a main. I lovee the later moments with him and Jade when he too got closer to Jade, but you can continue characterizing him a bit more.

4) Sungmin: Lovee his personality here! You changed him from the usual sweet and adorable Sungmin into a MEGA FLIRT! It’s nice to see some unusual character changes! His relationship with Jade doesn’t really change much in my opinion, there weren’t any major issues or events between the two except the odyssey and the discovery of Jade’s illness, I’d love to see more of him and Jade alone! *cough, mind you, I’m still Team-Chullie.XD* No much of a difference from the him at the start and the him now though!

5) Other Minors: Eunhyuk… I first thought he was a main here! Since the start was pretty much about how he overreacted with Jade LOL! It’d be interesting from my point of view for Eunhyuk to become a competitor here for Jade as well~:D; Donghae played a role suitable for him here and similar to his real personality as well! Nice, caring and pure as usual. Loved the bond between him and Jade and I hope it keeps going strong!; Yesung here got quite a funny and important part here~ Since he’s always the one making the atmosphere lighter, enjoyed reading his character in the story!; Ryeowook…mmm I don’t know about this one. Similar to Kyuhyun, I can’t really tell what kind of person he is in the story, although he’s not the main; Siwon~ Didn’t really notice his… presence in the chapters at the beginning, but as the story developed on Siwon’s character here was developed well as well! Leeteuk+Shindong didn’t have many lines so far. Each had 5 lines or less… so I can’t really tell what type of person they are in this story, it would be interesting if you can make some events for them too! (without drifting off too far from the main plot of course!)

But in general, you did a hell of a good job developing most of the characters here. Especially in Chapter 33 where everyone got together just to give Jade a surprise! You can tell they took a long time to adapt to Jade’s presence, and in chapter 33 it showed the well worthy of that period!

●Writing Style- 8/10

Your words communicated the message of your story in a very clear and simple way, which most readers adored. I loved the way sometimes you would have great vocabulary popping out here and there, but beware of repetition of words, and avoid over-using the same word. You don’t use weird fonts that tend to confuse people so that’s a plus for you. Images were easily created too through your words, but not in a vivid way. Sometimes you’re great at it (Eg. Chapter 33- where the Suju members were decorating her room, there you used colors to define Jade’s bedroom better, and I loved it!). But more descriptive words and adjectives could be used to improve on the images created in the story! And also, read your story over again to avoid silly mistakes!

Eg1)”She was bright, but I could tell that she wasn’t”- I get where you’re coming from, but it wasn’t clearly expressed enough.

Eg2)” Once moreI banged myself again.”- Here I don’t think the ‘once more’ or ‘again’ is necessary. One of those would have be fine.

Eg3)” Well you try living in a houseful of guys, be their slave, get hunted by E.L.F’s, get my first kiss STOLEN by one of the members!”- Here I thought you were trying to get us imagine what it would be like standing in her shoes? So I think the ‘my’ should change to ‘your’?

But because your writing style is easy to understand and hardly confusing at all, therefore emphasised the interesting plot of your story, I’m very satisfied it in general! So watch over some silly tiny mistakes ne?:DD

●Mechanics(Grammar, Spelling etc)- 8.5/10

There wasn’t much to be honest, which is one of the reasons why I enjoyed reading your Fanfic!

-Lack of Punctuations- I’ve noticed you don’t put fullstops at the end of sentences right? Keke but it’s not a big deal.

-Tenses: Beware of past tenses! Eg) “Did you… happen to uh… s-saw me cry? & Eg) “Did somebody orderedcotton?”(chapter 33). It should have been ‘see’ and ‘order’. But other than these 2, it was perfect.

-Sentence got cut off in Chapter 24~:” & Eunhyuk might get-“

- Conjuction words and Apostrophes: I stepped [on] it.(chp13); Your hair[‘]s really (ch13) t-shirt[‘]s ripped(chp18).

- Senetence structure: “Eyes wide.”- I saw a few of this and I don’t think it makes sense. Mm.. Would ‘Eyes widened’ & ‘Eyes wide opened’ be better do you think?

Other than these small errors, your Fanfic is great so far considering it only has small mistakes in all 33 chapters!:D Keep it up!

>>Total: 28.5/35<<

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+Bonus- 4/5

I LOVEDDDDDDDDDDD reading your fic! And I really hope you update soon, since I can’t wait to find out what’s going to happen next with Jades’ new bedroom! Anyway~ It was fun and enjoyable reading this story, and hey, I subscribed already! This is one of the stories people need to keep an eye on, but I guess people are already loving your story considering you have 155 subscribers!:D Well done!!

☆Total: 86%☆

A

WOOHHOO!! You're my first A!!!! Well, you surely deserved it anyway!! How did I do by the way? Sorry if some parts are short and some long, I tend to talk a lot more on characters lol! I hope you find the review useful and detailed enough? Sorry if it makes you upset at certain areas! It’s all my opinion really, and if I marked too hard. Shame on me!>< Anyway, talk to me and let me know! ^_^ Keep up the fabulous work!^_^