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AFF username: no0nespeciaL_xD

Story Title: The Cheesy Scheme

Story URL: The Cheesy Scheme

Genre: Humor, Romance, Fluff

Current Length (No. of Chapters): 1

Main Characters: Dara & & GD

Rated?(yes/no): Nope

Here you go!

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♪Opening

●Title- 4/5

I LOL’D at the title when I saw it for the first time. Straight away I could identify the genre of the story! Cute and adorable- anyone in for just a relaxing one-shot would love to click on your story. It totally relates to the story as well. Nothing too meaningful though I wouldn’t say, and it seems like the story only targets at a certain type of audience and for being not generalized enough, I deducted some marks~ T_T

●Poster/Background: 3/5

Since it’s a fun one-shot and all I didn’t really go all that hard in this category. Sure the colours and arrangements go with the story to a T, but I wouldn’t be stunned by your poster or anything. But it did the basics for me: Co-ordinated colours, display of main characters, and a slogan/catchphrase. The photo shopping of the pictures are a little messy though.

●Description+Foreword- 7/10

I love how you went straight to the point. You stated all the basic information on the fanfic, how you had a warning for particular parts in the story that needed to be looked out for etc etc. You had 2 lines for your description on your story plot, and yet I was already into your story! You also included a mini prologue which gave the readers a slight glimpse into your story~ (I got goose bumps from it already…XD) The only thing lacking in my opinion would be the descriptions of your characters. Ok… I get that Daragon is your main focus here… and..? But in general it’s very well done~ :D:D

>>Total: 13.5/20<<

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♪Contents

●Creativity/Originality: 9/10

Totally cute or what!! To be honest this is the first time I’ve came across such an adorkable one-shot before. It made me smile throughout the whole story and yearned for more even~ :D So I’d say it’s indeed very creative. And I love how the other characters made cameos and yet didn’t really insert themselves into the plot. The way it was developed stuck with your main idea from the start and I was hooked straight away!

●Plot- 18.5/20

Once again, cute and simple. I love how you emphasised Jiyoung’s first and second failures with his friends’ encouragements and such. The cheesy lines were really getting under my skin! Although there weren’t any interesting twists or moments that ‘wowed!’ me, it was still fun and enjoyable for me to read until the end. There weren’t any particular awkward scenes since the whole thing was planned out pretty precise and straight to the point~ :D

●Chapter Titles: -/5

Not grading here and I think it's self-explanatory~ :D

●Flow: 9.5/10:

As I mentioned before- no awkward scenes or anything similar were present, not that I noticed of anyway. It flowed naturally well like an everyday scenario, and you were able to accompany the flow with well-written descriptions etc. I don’t really have anything to say here except you were absolutely brilliant.

>>Total: 37/40<<

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♪Expression

●Characterization- 12.5/15:

I get a lot of ideas and the shaping of the main 2 characters from the OTHER characters or through the narrative perspective. Through their descriptions etc I got a lot of insight of the characters before I even get to meet them yet, and I really like how they were presented.

Except for the fact that although the characters you described in the plot are rich, full of texture and layers, through an one-shot I didn’t think there was enough space for you to develop them fully.

1) GD: cute, adorkalbe, oh and CHEESY. Definitely the latter one! Even here I think GD’s character was described in a better manner than Dara; we could see that GD wasn’t used to teasing and messing with girls considering he was already love-struck the moment he met Dara; and from Dara’s perspective I learned that GD wasn’t famous for such abnormal behaviour as well. There we go- 2 difference sources but at the same time they explained their points in idem. The more important one would be from the actually character itself (in this case GD), I needed to see him ACT the way he was described, and I sure need to give you credits for making him such a loveable personality.

2) Dara: now from the start till the end I experienced pretty much only 1 or 2 types of Dara out of the characteristics you held in store for her. I was expecting a little bit more coating since you put up such a perfect character explanation of her in the first paragraph. But till the end, there was the angry, pissed Dara, and the suddenly softened Dara. If you hadn’t inserted that piece of the past of GD’s & Dara’s first meeting, I wouldn’t have experienced the bubbly Dara at all. Maybe I was hoping to see that side of more throughout the story?

Minors: Not too absorbed in the story and yet acted as helping aids to the development of the main 2, love it! :D

●Writing Style- 9/10

Simple, straight-to-the point writing style seems to be your strongest advantage here. I enjoy reading it a lot- and your vocabs helped a hell lot. I wouldn’t say you put any extraordinary or unusual words that I hadn’t seen before but I love how you pick from such a wide range it keeps boredom away as I go word by word as I read through the story. You uses simple techniques like similes (His face lit up like a lamp), nothing astonishing but it managed to deliver your point with extra accents. It’s totally easy to understand and great enough to be categorized as ‘novel’ language~:D (in my opinion~XD)

●Mechanics: 10/10

Maybe my eyes are too tired or you’re absolutely spot on with your mechanics-  I didn’t find any mistakes. Maybe you had them corrected, I don’t know~ but full marks for you girl!

>>Total: 31.5/35<<

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●Bonus- 5/5

I enjoyed it a hell lot!! So wish there was a sequel lol~ but this is the quickest review I’ve ever done- it was just so easy and to the point! Well done!

>>>TOTAL: 92%<<<

(out of 95 marks)

A

One word. Wow. One-shot scoring that high for me is a first~ <3  Actually I think it's the highest I've ever given so far!! :D:D  33 subscribed to a one-shot? It just proved its worthiness. Congrats girl~ you well deserved it. ^_^