She heaved a long sigh reading Kris’s text on her phone. She was spinning around her phone as Kris’s latest text was revolving in her head over and over.  She was in the middle of her feeling, she felt glad that Kris finally let her go so that she didn’t have to take care of him anymore as his wife, plus, her heavy heart couldn’t contain his annoying deeds anymore. But, on the other hand, she felt guilty for her daughter. She felt like she wasn’t a good mother for her because she couldn’t keep and save her relationship with Kris, instead of running away from him. But what could she do? She was tired, she couldn’t handle of all this anymore.

“Why are you not sleeping?” James’s voice cracked her insanity, she almost jumped from her seat but she stayed cool in order that she didn’t look stupid in front of him

“Nope. What about you?” Amber asked him back with her heavy eyes

James smiled as he brought a cup of coffee. He walked towards her and made his move to sit next to her, “Am I allowed to sleep in your place? We’re not married, we’re not even dating.” He shrugged his shoulders, furrowed his eyebrows while he looked at her closely. He knew she just thought about her husband all night long. “And you’ve not divorced with your husband yet.”

“Do you think I should send my paper to the court?” She asked him lazily, she was confused and upset

“Look, Amber. Who is Kris for you?” James asked this question for Amber, he could see she jolted a bit when he was asking this to her all of a sudden. “He’s not your toy that if you’re bored then, you’ll waste him away. Remember who took care of you when you were pregnant? Who brought you flowers when you were sad? Who invited your sister to your house when you were upset? Who defended your relationship even though he was jealous of those guys who were close to you?”

At that moment, Amber was only in silence. No words came out of , she only looked at his eyes but she wondered why Kris’s face which came in her vision. She didn’t even realize that Kris meant a lot to her, he had done everything for her. He was her remedy when her heart felt bad, he was always patient when she was angry, it must be unfair for him not to have another chance from her to apologize. But, if she remembered how he hugged that woman in a loving way at the back of concert building, her headache came to torture her.

“Excuse me.” She stood up from her seat, her tears almost fell down but she didn’t want this guy to see her being fragile. So, she decided to get out of this scene and just went to somewhere else in her studio, but James had a very good response. Quickly, he grabbed her arm and he almost turned her around.

James stopped her from running away, he looked at her from behind as his hand still took a grip around Amber’s arm. “Are you fine?”

She shook her head, it was too late to hold back her tears because it kept flooding from her eyes. “…No…” She sounded stutter, so, maybe James has caught her being in tears right now.

“Are you crying?” He was confused

She wiped away her tears then, she turned her body around. With smiling, she looked at James’s face but he made a questioning look. “Can you turn around?”

“O-okay..” He lost his grip from her, he started to turn around and for a while, he could feel Amber leaned on her head on his back and the sound of her sobbing was quite loud for him to hear. “A-Amber?”

“Don’t you dare to turn your head around…. I’m so ugly right now…..” She grabbed his shirt and then, she cried really badly.

“It’s okay..” He tried to calm her with his deep voice

“I’ve finished the song…. It’s on the desk…” She said in pause to gather her power to keep speaking with him. “But I don’t know… if I should give it to him or not..” Her crying was louder than before, she lingered her arms around his stomach

“Ssshhh… It’s alright.. Everything’s gonna be alright..”

They were just like that until Amber finished her crying session. She didn’t want anyone to see her tears and James knew that. He knew she didn’t want anyone to worry about her life because she thought she could handle of all things but actually, she could not.

==

On the other day, Amber didn’t even go to see her daughter. She didn’t accompany her to go to school or pick up her from school or even call her little girl. Kris was frustrated because Coco kept asking him about Amber, was Amber okay? Where was Amber? Did Amber really leave them both?

It made Kris realize how Amber was stressed out over their daughter when he wasn’t around, Coco must be asking her the same questions and Amber should find good answers for her in order that the little girl trusted her. He sent another text to Amber, asking her where she was now but he didn’t get her reply. He tried to call her but she always seemed very busy according to the tone of her cell phone.

‘Kris, we’re on different path now. I’m so sorry. Send my greeting to Coco, tell her I love her. I’m out.’

One text from Amber said it all on his phone. She has given up on everything, she wanted a divorcement that he couldn’t grant. He knew it was his fault, all of this. He was too foolish to realize everything this late, Amber was everything for him. She was always there when he needed her, but he wasn’t always by her side everytime she needed him. She only wanted changes from him, not more than that.

Kris felt brokenhearted, nobody could make him like this except one person, Amber. There was one massive hole in his heart after he knew the reality Amber didn’t want to come back to him anymore. He didn’t cry, he didn’t smile, he was just being like that. Looking at his cellphone with blank expression, he felt really empty inside. He held his cellphone very tightly, thinking how he should explain this situation to his daughter.

He inhaled and exhaled over and over, but he got no luck. His heart was still in pain, his breath was heavier than before instead. He didn’t really mean to let her go before, he wanted her back. He knew he was guilty but he wanted one more chance to show her that he loved her to the fullest.

==

An unknown number suddenly popped up on the display of her phone, she was suspicious that it must be Kris but she scratched it. She decided to pick up the phone, she thought if it was really Kris, she wouldn’t listen to what he would say to her but it was enough for her. She didn’t want go back to him,she had decided that she would see him as her daughter’s father and not more than that. She really didn’t care if he wanted to go back to that Mistress or another woman in this world, she didn’t care.

“Can we talk?” It surprised her, it wasn’t Kris’s voice on her phone. It was a woman’s voice and from her voice, she knew it was no other than XuJinglei

“I’m sorry, who are you?” Although Amber knew who she was but she acted like she didn’t remember this voice

“Amber, please. It’s me, XuJinglei.” The woman desperately wanted to talk to Amber and explain everything. She wanted to fix things up, she didn’t want there was misunderstanding anymore between them

“Oh, the one has affair with my husband? I’m sorry, I don’t have time to talk to you.”

Amber was going to hang up her phone, but XuJinglei forced her to keep speaking with her. “No, wait! I need to talk to you, I need to explain something first.”

Amber held her phone very tightly, she closed her eyes and her hand rubbed her forehead. Thinking about it first before she answered XuJinglei. “Tonight at restaurant beside my studio. Don’t be late.”

“Okay, okay, sure. Thank you so much, Amber.”

Without replying her, Amber just hung up the phone and rested her head on her desk. She was still unsure if she would really divorce Kris or not, she wondered what XuJinglei would talk about. So, Amber just waited and waited as she listened to the song that she and James had composed together. She would send this song for Kris but she didn’t know when it would come. She waited for the right time but she hated Kris a lot this time and it made her unsure to dedicate this song for him.

“You came too early, I guess.” Amber placed her bag on the chair as she took a seat next to it. She folded her fingers on the table and looked at XuJinglei straightly

“It’s fine.. Look, Amber. I just want to tell you something.” The older woman begged Amber to stay for a while because she knew from Amber’s attitude, she didn’t really want to be in this place too long with herself

Amber tried to listen to this woman carefully, she tried to control her anger and madness over this woman in her heart. “Go ahead, I’ll listen.”

“Please, Amber… Please, forgive Kris.” The woman begged, she had realized that it was her fault. So, that was why, she wanted to apologize. She didn’t care if Amber didn’t forgive her but at least, Amber could forgive Kris

“Why should I?”She didn’t give her the answer but she asked XuJinglei back instead with eyes kept straight to XuJinglei’s figure

“I know how you feel because my husband betrayed me, but… Kris loves you, Amber. We’re not like what you’re thinking.”XuJinglei made her hand move to cover Amber’s clenched fist. “Kris was just… He was a good listener, he accompanied me because I asked him to. I was stressed out after I knew my husband cheated on me, and then, I kept seeing Kris. Actually, he over and over rejected me because he has you and your daughter, but I—I’m sorry…”

Amber could see Xujinglei’s glassy eyes but she didn’t even flinch because of her. Amber couldn’t distinguish if XuJinglei only acted in front of her or not.

“We never did like you think, Amber. Never. He never kissed me because he always thinks his kiss is only for you.” XuJinglei continued

“Are you lying to me?” Amber slanted her eyes seeing this woman speaking in front of her. “What about the way he looked at you when I caught you both? I’m not stupid, Woman. I know him better than you, the way he looked at you is as similar as he looked at when he confessed his love to me.”

“He only encouraged me, he kept supporting me to go back to my husband. He just wanted us to be friends. That’s all what he did to me.” XuJinglei explained more

“Friends? Like he wanted you close to my daughter?” Amber scoffed listening to every single word that came out from XuJinglei’s mouth

“No, it’s because I don’t have any child. He allowed me to have acquaintance with your daughter, because I really wanna know how it feels to have a child.” She kept explaining to Amber. She heaved a sigh seeing Amber didn’t even reply her. “I’m jealous of you, you have everything you want. You have a husband who loves you a lot and you have a daughter who is very smart.”

“Amber, please go back to Kris. He needs you.” XuJinglei kept begging Amber to forgive Kris but Amber really needed a little more time to think. “Everyone deserves chance and Kris deserves one more chance from you to prove his love to you. He’s your husband that you love the most, Amber. Think about your daughter too.”

Amber didn’t flinch, her gaze was blank. For million times, she rethought about that. She was still unsure about this woman, to be honest.

“Look, If I can forgive my husband, why can’t you? Even my husband was worse, I saw him with my own eyes that he slept with another wom