Suffering, Victoria was suffering. And it was his entire fault.

                Nichkhun continued to listen to Luna. Even though her words were harsh, they were true.

                Luna was right. His fans could be the best sometimes, but they could also be the worst. And they were being so horrible on Victoria.

                “She’s suffering,” Luna continued, her voice sharp.

                “Victoria-unni may look like a strong-willed person on the outside to you, Nichkhun-oppa, but truly inside, she’s hurt. While your fans taunting her and mocking her about her being fat may stress her a bit, it’s nothing compared to the other thing your fans also say.”

                “What do they say?” Nichkhun choked out, his fingers clammy. He wanted to sit down.

                No, he wanted to run, run to Victoria and hug her, comfort her, apologize to her, blame everything on him.

                “They say how you’re too good for her,” Luna scoffed at the idea, but her voice suddenly got serious. “That was the one thing that really affected Victoria-unni. That’s why she’s trying to change herself, to be good enough to be even ‘mentioned’ as Nichkhun’s girlfriend.”

-

                Victoria stared at the mirror in front of her. She in her stomach, which was already thin enough, and walked around in a circle, not taking her eyes off her body. She stopped, and bent forward, peering at her reflection. She gingerly touched her cheekbones and rubbed her dark circles underneath her big eyes. She ran her fingers through her hair and clucked softly at how dissatisfied she was with it.

                Stepping a few steps, so she had a full view of her body, from head to toe, Victoria inspected what she saw.

                “Is this enough?” Victoria murmured to herself.

                Shaking her head, she covered her face and fell on the floor with a soft thud. She stretched out her legs, and leaned her head back, so it rested on the foot of her bed.

                Moments later, her eyes snapped open. Her familiar ring tone, I’m in Love, buzzed loudly in her empty room.

                “…must have dozed off,” Victoria muttered to herself as she fumbled for the phone on her bed covers. Finally finding it, she answered it and pressed it against her ear.

                “Hello?”

                Silence answered her, and, curiously, Victoria looked at her phone screen. It was Nichkhun.

                “Nichkhun?” Victoria asked again.

                “Can you come outside?” His voice was barely audible, and Victoria was worried.

                “Okay. I’ll be out in a second,” Victoria said before hanging up. Stuffing the phone in her hoodie pocket, she shuffled down the hallway and out her dorm door.

                 Quietly, she went down the elevator and reached the apartment entrance. Peering from the glass doors, she saw Nichkhun waiting outside, near a bench. His back was turned.

                Victoria tip-toed behind him, and put her hands on his eyes. She felt him take in a sharp intake, and she waited for him to ask who it was.

                Instead, he didn’t budge, didn’t speak. It wasn’t until moments later when he finally turned around and sat down on the bench, motioning for her to sit down, too.

                Victoria stared at Nichkhun. His expression was unreadable and clouded.

                “Is something wrong?” Victoria whispered, her eyes searching for an answer. Nichkhun didn’t reply.

                “What’s wrong?” Victoria uncertainly gave a small laugh, but it died away soon.

                Soundlessly, Nichkhun lifted his hand and gently brushed off a strand of her hair away from her eyes. He tucked her hair behind her ears and left his hands lingering, barely touching her skin.

                 Victoria reached out to hold him but he was first. He engulfed her in a tight hug, and he leaned his head on her shoulder and cried.

                She opened to say something, but she was interrupted from Nichkhun.

                “I’m sorry.”

                Victoria’s hand froze mid air, just as she was about to pat his back.

                “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

                Victoria felt tears prick in the corner of her eyes. She gently pushed Nichkhun off her and cupped his face with her hands.

                “There’s no need to feel sorry,” Victoria told him sternly, brushing his tears and fixing his hair. She tried to look confident, but truly inside, she felt like crying her eyes out.

                “Stop it,” Nichkhun spoke loudly, his eyes bloodshot.

                Victoria was silent, slowly blinking. Nichkhun continued.

“Stop trying to look so brave and strong, as if you can deal with all these negative things by yourself. You’re hurting, Victoria. You’re scarred and broken and…it’s just…you’re…you’re not letting me help you.”

                Victoria smiled a pitiful smile, her tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She gazed at Nichkhun, eyes glazing.

                “There’s no need to feel sorry,” Victoria repeated, her voice cracking. “I can handle it.”

                “You can’t!” Nichkhun yelled, frustrated. “You can’t handle it. Do you call starving yourself skinny and crying when I’m not there handling it?”

                Victoria couldn’t look at Nichkhun’s eyes. When she looked back at him, she tried to look as cheerful as possible, despite her near tears.

                “To be seen as Nichkhun’s girlfriend, to be noticed at Nichkhun’s girlfriend,” Victoria finally spoke. “I must look my best, right?”