I was still stuck in a blurred trance from what TOP had just said. It was only when he leaned forwards and my cheek that I realised what his intentions were. My brain was moving too slow for me to stop him, even though I tried.

"Tabi, I-I-"

His face got closer and closer.

"Shh..."

"B-But I love Ji-"

He cut me off, his visage millimetres from my own.

Seunghyung's words were timid whispers.

"God, you don't know much I've wanted to do this..."

His lips silenced me.

Dumbfounded and starstruck, my face grew hot as I retaliated to his mouth on mine. He was shaking, either because he was nervous or frustrated. Or maybe both. My eyes snapped shut. He kissed me with so much passion and I didn't know how to handle it. What was I feeling? I didn't know.

My mind kept fazing out, I couldn't even think straight. It had been so long since anybody had held me like this. But it was wrong on SO MANY LEVELS. His cheeks brushed mine, so the hot tears rolling down his face rolled down mine too, like we were sharing them.

He gradually pulled away. I felt his warmth leave my lips. And a little something else too.

"I will never love another woman" he murmered.

At this point, I started crying. Relentlessly. 

"Please...please don't do this to me...." I sobbed.

I only came to Korea for Caleb. And I got this.

"Amber...let me have you. I need you"

I dug my nails into the ground. I could feel anger flash across my face. I turned to him.

"DO YOU NOT CARE ABOUT ME? AT ALL? CAN YOU NOT PUT YOURSELF IN MY SHOES?! IN JIYONG'S SHOES?!" I began to choke "I'VE WAITED SO LONG FOR HIM...AND THE DAY THAT HE COMES TO KOREA, I'M SAT HERE K-KISSING ANOTHER MAN---" I stuttered. I could not believe what I'd just done.

All the emotion from the previous moment began to build up again.

"Jagiyaa..."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT" I snapped back at him.

He began to raise his voice.

"JIYONG SPOKE BULLCR*P ABOUT YOU ON TELEVISION. AND IN THE SPUR OF A MOMENT, YOU WERE RUNNING AFTER HIM AGAIN. THEN HE SIGNED UP FOR THE ARMY, WITHOUT EVEN ING TELLING YOU. YOU'RE WAITING TWO YEARS FOR THAT?! YOU HAVE NO SELF RESPECT AMBER"

I grabbed his jacket and pushed him away from me.

" I DO have self respect" I glowered.

"Well I don't see it"

Through the tears, I gasped for breath.

"WHY DID YOU KISS ME?! WHY? EVERYTHING WAS OK UNTIL-"

"UNTIL YOU KISSED ME BACK?"

He finished off what I stopped myself from saying. I tried to deny it.

"I didn't-"

"You did"

His powerful gaze told me he'd felt it.

"...I didn't mean to, God, I didn't"

"Amber-" he tried moving close again.

"Get away from me!"

I felt sick in my head and my heart. I'd kissed him. I'd kissed Choi Seunghyun. And I felt something. What was it? Pity? Sympathy? Lust? But I loved Jiyong.

my life.

***

Struggling, I tried to fix the collar on Caleb's suit, as I reminded myself that today was all about him. We had arrived at the venue early, only a few guests had arrived. There were many more to come. 

"Sis, you look beautiful" 

I grimaced at what my sister had said. 

"Uhh thanks..."

I wore pink. A colour that I hated, but Jiyong adored. I wore it for him. Partly because I wanted to suprise him. Partly because of guilt. Before I began to get anymore flustered, I scooted outside, to the Botanical display of Seoul Gardens, with the intention of distracting myself from reality. I tried to admire the plants. But I ended up staring at each one gormlessly, my mind blank. 

Even though my face was dry, I could still feel TOP's tears on my cheeks. 

 I heard a voice from behind.

"Jagiya-"

"I TOLD YOU, DON'T CALL ME THAT-"

I lost my senses, then I span round and realised that it hadn't been TOP's voice.

Clad in military uniform, with a number 1 shave, Jiyong looked at me.

There was no other way to describe it. He didn't gaze, nor did he grin, or frown. He just looked. There was an expression on his face that I'd never seen before. It wasn't very Jiyong-like. At all.

I smiled nervously, at the same time, my legs began to feel weak.

"Jiyong-ah"

"I never called you that before" When he spoke again, his tone was very formal and robotic.

"It's nothing"

I knew I wasn't lying to him. He already knew something was up. I waited for him to ask. But he didn't.

"How have you been?"

No embrace, no nothing. He continued staring straight at me.

I couldn't take it.

I ran straight to him and burried my face in his neck. At first his body was stiff, but a sigh of relief escaped me as I felt his muscles relax. 

I literally began begging him to show any sign of affection, any sign that he had missed me too. All the thoughts I'd had about him becoming a wreck when I left started to fade. Maybe he was angry at me.

"Jiyong-ah, please hug me, please" I muttered. I didn't care if I sounded desperate, I needed reassurance.

He said nothing.

Even though it was not possible, I began to wonder if he knew about what had happened with TOP.

"CALEB, COME BACK HERE!" I heard Lena's voice in the distance as Caleb ran between myself and Ji. My brain dead, I leaned down and picked him up. He outstretched his arms for Jiyong. 

I didn't know it was the sight of the toddler, that brought back memories, or if he was happy that Caleb remembered him. But I saw Jiyong's eyes soften, and his forehead relax as he held the child.

Caleb giggled and began to touch Ji's face. He went silent. The little boy was fascinated. His stodgy fingers fumbled with Jiyong's chin, and the older male flashed a smile. When he did so, a tide of complete serenity crashed over me. I wanted to stay right in this moment.

Jiyong didn't notice, as Caleb reached into his pocket. When he pulled out that small, black item, it was too late. 

It took me less than a second to realise what it was.

A Wedding ring box.

Thankyou for putting up with the long wait!

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