I had not recieved another text from his phone since last time. It still completly freaked me out. He knew me. 'Crying myself silly' was exactly something I would do, if someone pushed me over the edge. But why he texted that to me, left me dumbfounded. I swore he told me not to contact him. So I didn't. I just deleted the message, and tried to forget.

Lena ran the comb through my hair. 

We actually sat down and talked about the press conference. Something we had both been reluctant to do beforehand.

"Amber, you should have just told them. I'm sorry for not standing in, I just-It just all happened so fast"

Happened so fast? She wasn't the one being torn apart in front of a live audience.

"I understand. Its okay"

After running to the bathroom, my sister walked back in the room and pushed me towards the mirror.

"Look at how beautiful you are, sis."

"...You mean the bump."

"No, I don't."

 I sighed.

Then I stopped, when I saw tears b in her eyes.

"I-I'm such a bad person, I know I am"

"Lena, you're seriously crying for no reason"

I knew exacly why she was in tears.

"I...I felt jealous, okay?" She caught her breath. "I should have been there for you, sis, but I distanced myself. I felt inadequate standing next to you. Like, it should have been me, supporting you, but I didn't. I'm thankful that you're carrying my baby, Amber i know that it's not easy. I saw mom go through it when she was carrying you. I wanted to be bearing a child, like any normal woman would...you just seemed so...happy all the time, and I...I wanted that. Please forgive me. You're my sister. I love you."

She  was genuinely sorry.

I tried to hug her (the bump was a bit of a restriction) but inside I couldn't help feeling misunderstood.

She thought I was happy because of the flamming baby? This 'thing' had made my life hell for months. But of course, I didn't say that. 

She wiped her eyes and managed a smile. I couldn't help smiling too.

"So...how about a night's out then?"

Of all ideas, she came up with that one. 

"Umm..I was thinking of staying home"

She persisted with no avail. But in the end, she had me laughing like my good old self. Lena applied my make up and did my hair. It was all going well, until she decided to talk about GD.

"I...I thought you guys were going steady.."

"Jiyong and I?" It even hurt to say his name. "I guess I would've found out sooner or later that he..."

I thought about it.

He what? I couldn't even explain his change of heart. The more I thought about it, the more I wondered, how, and why his personality flipped within seconds.

"Have you ever thought, that maybe...he was told to say those things about you? To act the way he did?"

It was like she read my mind. That possibility had been knawing at the back of my mind for weeks now. But surely...surely he would have told me. Or had explained to me why he had to do what he did. Instead he just disappeared out of my life. Like I didn't exist anymore. Like it was easy to erase me from his memory. Too easily. 

In some sense, I wanted to forget him. To hate him, would make it easier for me to move on with my life. But every day I opened my wardrobe and I could smell him. A mixture of cologne and tarnished wood. I could smell him on  the jacket he lent me on the night of TOP's party, and the Chrome Hearts apparell taken from his own closet. 

Even as the weeks progresses, and the news about the scandal died down, I still remembered. 

My phone vibrated.

'I hate that you don't understand me'-GD

I dropped my phone in shock.

It buzzed again.

'I hate all this waiting'-GD

Then it rang.

To say that I felt frickin' scared was an understatement. Was he calling me?  When I looked at the ID, it wasn't GD, it was Seungri.

Nervously, I answered the phone.

"h-"

"Amber, I need to talk to you. It's about Jiyong"

***

"Wait...so you want me, to talk to him? Seungri, are you out of my mind?"

What he was asking me to do was crazy. My head was already messed up, it didn't need another blow.

"It's serious though. Even YG is nervous around him. I'm telling the truth, that man is like a bomb. He snaps at anything, now. He doesn't eat, at all. He stays all night in the studio. Noona, please. I'm worried, I really am. Hyung is never like this. What if he..does something stupid"

Why should I care?

It was clear that Seungri believed that me, meeting Jiyong would have no mental impediment on my state what so ever. 

"Seungri, do you even watch the news? Did you not see-"

"Noona-ssi. I saw everything that happened at that press conference. But that man I saw was not Jiyong. He is not himself these days. Please forgive him"

Did this boy want a slap?

Forgive him? Forgiveness was the last option on my list.

"I can't do this."

I gathered my belongings and got up from the table.

"But you still love him, right?"

I stopped and stared at him.

Then I left the cafe.

On my way out, my phone rang. I had an urge to just turn it off, but it was sent from YG's Head Office. Considering that these people were so quick to drop me from their company, I was suprised that they still had my number.

Collect your items from your office tonight. 

. 

All my work belongings were still at the office. I had not dared to enter the building since I last worked there. Tonight, they wanted me to collect my things? That could wait.

Then I got another text from YG. 

'Failure to do so will lead to the items being disposed off'

'Items' included my dance outfits and my Nike Air shoes. I even had photos of my family in that office. Hell NO, were they throwing those things away.

Fear gripped me as I made my way to the back door of the YG ENT. building. Hopefully, only the cleaners and admin would be there, after all, it was eleven pm.

Being conspicuous whilst pregnant was practically impossible. As I approached my office, I realized that the door was already open. They must have been inside to inspect my things-

"Let me see her!"

GD's voice haunted my eardrums. It sounded broken and cracked...restrained...that was the word.

"Do you really want to be seen with that poor excuse of a woman? Your image will be ruined." YG spoke to him like he did when he reprimanded me in his office a while ago. His tone was harsh.

"I did it...I did it all...I said what you wanted me to say, and I did what you wanted me to do, sunbaeim. And I shouldn't have " His voice rose drastically. "I'm ruined. I'm tired of...being controlled. This has to stop." I couldn't see him, but I knew that tears ran down his cheeks.

YG chuckled. 

"You yourself asked me to drop her from the company, Jiyong. Do you not remember?"

"I asked for you to comission early maternity leave, that is what I asked for. She hates my guts, sunbaeim....please...I'm begging you. I'm going crazy"

"Aigoo..you young people. You will have a girlfriend soon, boy. You will thank me for this. That girl is nothing but a lost cause. You deserve so much more than that. Get on with your life. I warned her already, but she went against my will"

"Sunbaeim, you know that I kissed her, so why did you-"

"Jiyong. Of course I know that you kissed her, but that is not what the press want to hear. It's easier to fire a nobody than jeopardise a celebrity. Everybody knows that"