*This will contain a lot of flashbacks, still testing out the first p.o.v writing style. Sorry in advance if it confuses you, I dearly hope it doesn't though. Enjoy!*

 Here I am, waiting and sitting on the passenger seat of my boyfriend’s car. We could have left earlier to have more time for our date but as usual, his duties as a leader doesn’t simply halt nor have a time limit…he warned me about it but I honestly don’t mind most of the time.

As he waits for the rest of the Super Junior members to finish up and head back to the dorm, I let time pass by looking back on my relationship with Park Jung-soo…or more commonly known to the world as Leeteuk, Super Junior’s leader.

He’s the leader not because he’s the oldest and he’s not only a leader in name…he’s the one who takes charge of their group, he’s their team’s brother, motivator, confidant, problem solver, and a whole lot more qualities that justify his position.

He’s a go getter and a perfectionist.

“I’m sorry but can you just ask our hyung out??”

“What?!” I was so surprised with what Siwon oppa just asked straight up front.

“You see...he’s been planning to take you out on a really fancy romantic date, a big one to impress you and then he’ll pop the question and ask you to be his girlfriend.” Siwon explained to me and nothing sounded out of the ordinary…except the fact that he just took out the thrill and exposed Leeteuk’s big plan.

“Okay…everything sounds great so far, what’s the ‘but’?”

“But he can’t finalize anything because he feels that it’s not perfect enough.” Shindong added that tidbit, it was obvious that he was frustrated.

“He really likes you and he doesn’t get quickly attached to anyone. He’s a genuine and faithful guy, he doesn’t act his age, which can be a good or bad thing, depends on the situation.” Yesung told me as if I wasn’t already falling for their hyung.

“You don’t have to persuade me any longer, I already like him, very much actually. He was able to convince me to go out on dates despite my fears of his fans and his job but he made it work and he changed my view on him. He’s already half-way through the finish line.” I honestly told the guys about my feelings for their leader.

“And we are also at our limit in hearing his complains and whining. Just do all of us a favor and be the one to ask him to be your boyfriend. It would save us all the trouble and time.” Kyuhyun’s comment made the guys nod while I laughed at their so called ‘misery’.

Although the guys already ruined his surprise, Leeteuk was still able to come up with a special way to officially ask me to be his girlfriend. Even though I already knew what was coming, he still had that extraordinary charm that swept me off my feet when he finally made me his.

He will take care of the people around him before he takes care of himself

Eunhyuk has mentioned before that Leeteuk does all, if not the majority, of the hard labor, which from what I have seen from the amount of time that I’ve been with him is true.

Even if he gets angry at his dongsaengs, in the end he will be the one to lower his pride by apologizing and giving them a hug. They talk it out like men, well more like brothers, and everything’s been forgiven and forgotten.

He always put the members before himself, we haven’t been together that long yet he also makes me feel that way.

“Had another tiring tough day oppa?” I asked my boyfriend when he dropped by my place late at night. I told him that he didn’t need to pass by anymore and just go straight home to the dorm but he wouldn’t take a ‘No.’ for an answer. He wanted to at least be with me before our 100^th day ended, even though I told him that I understood he had a busy schedule. I reassured him that it’s just another day and we can celebrate on another time but he still insisted for us to be together…just like how he showed tenacity when he wooed me in the beginning.

“Same stress, different day, but I’m glad everything went smoothly. I feel so much better now that I’m here with you.” Leeteuk flashed me that heart-racing smile before he pulled me in for a tight hug. I let myself get lost in his scent and the feel of his arms around me as my head naturally rested on his broad chest while he nuzzled my hair down to my neck. Just when I found myself comfortably happy in that embrace, Leeteuk pulled away and picked up the bouquet of flowers that was hidden inside a paper bag a long with a few simple but sweet gifts. My heart was immediately at awe because he still went out of the way to buy and give me something to commemorate today despite his tiredness.

I wasn’t ready for the material gifts so in return, I fed him dinner that consisted of a few of his favorite dishes and I also offered to give him a massage and he obliged, not being able to resist knowing it will definitely help him relax.

We were on the couch and it was just about fifteen minutes when I started massaging his tensed muscles and he already told me to stop, saying that I shouldn’t exert too much effort and energy or else my arms and hands will hurt.

He tried to convince me that he was already energized just from that short time. “Seriously, your massage really did wonders for my aches.” His fingers interlaced with mine and lifted it near his lips so that he can gently plant a kiss on it before whispering “Thank you”.

He makes plans and decisions with the utmost consideration for the people involved. He is responsible and dependable.

He does not only lead a group that consists 3 or 5 guys, heck it’s not even 10 guys but 13, 14 guys at the most and that doesn’t even include his juniors and colleagues who look up to him and ask for advises. Like what Heechul has stated, a lot of people admire his leadership because it is different from everyone else.

When he can, he tries to organize and manage the members schedules so that the boys can get enough rest if possible. He tries to do his best for the benefit of everyone.

He’s no superman but he tends to forget that, you see…he will not always tell you what’s bothering him since he would want to keep his dependable and strong image so he will first try to solve things on his own. Trust me, I’ve experienced it first hand and although it gave me the wrong impression and we fought because of that trait of his but that argument actually brought us closer.

“Oppa, what’s stressing you out?” I asked after hearing Leeteuk sigh for what seemed to be the third time within an hour. He wasn’t focusing on the movie that we were watching in my living room.

“Nothing I can’t handle so don’t trouble yourself with it.” He showed a faint smile when he answered back.

Being super-sensitive that time because of my monthly visitor, I couldn’t simply ignore his statement.

“Oh so you think I can’t be helpful?! You don’t trust me enough to let me know what’s bugging you?” I leaned away from him and sat on the other end of the couch so I could face him better.

“No, you know it’s not that like that babe. Just leave it, alright?” I could sense that I was adding on to his stress and that he was starting to get frustrated from my current behavior.

“I cannot believe you’re treating me this way. I may be younger but that doesn’t mean that I’m a kid or that I’m any less wise about life!” I was hurt because I thought he felt like I won’t be of any use when it comes to serious matters.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you and I never intended you to feel that way. Come here.” He cooed my name sweetly to calm me down and he also attempted to reach his hand out to touch me but it wasn’t helping at all and I stood up to move away from him.

“Then why aren’t you opening up to me?! I’ve told you things that only a few people in my life know yet you’re being so secretive as if I can’t handle you. I’ve tried to let it go but honestly, I’ve realized how you don’t share your problems and deep thoughts with me, it’s like you don’t trust me. I can help but you don’t even give me that chance because you don’t let me in, you don’t talk to me about it.” At that point tears started rolling down my cheeks…I was not the best in keeping my tears in.

“It’s not that I don’t trust or love you enough because I do. I don’t want you to feel that I’m using you just as my stress-reliever, I don’t want you to feel burdened because of my problems, I don’t want to be weak in front of you. You’re not with me so you can be problematic with me. I’m your man so I shouldn’t be dumping any sort of negativity on you.” I felt my heart clench when I saw Leeteuk was also getting teary-eyed, triggered by the intensity of our current situation and by my sobbing.

“You don’t have to hide your tears from me. You don’t always have to be the life of the party like what you show on variety shows. You’re only human too, you’re Park Jungsoo and I don’t expect you to always be calm and collected. All I ask is that you share with me not only the happy things, but the bad or sad as well. I’m a big girl, I can take it, I knew what I was getting into when I started dating you and I’d feel like a lousy girlfriend if you feel like you can’t even come to me to talk.” My voice broke when I said those last words because I didn’t want to hear that I was being an awful girlfriend to such a great guy.

Leeteuk stood up and approached me, he shook his head in disagreement and made me look at him so he can reassure me. “Listen to me, you are far from being a bad girlfriend. Don’t you know that I’m lucky to have someone like you? It’s just that I have a lot of issues and excess baggage in my life, I’m scared it’ll disappoint and turn you off but then by hiding it I ended up pushing you away. I honestly feel that sometimes it’s better for you not to know because I want to save you from that stressful, chaotic part of me. I’m sorry, I’ll be a better boyfriend and I’ll really put a lot of effort to not give you a reason to leave me.” He wiped my tears away and I started to hush the sound of my cries.

“I understand you, just like how you understand me. You don’t have to tell me everything but what I am asking is that you don’t shut me out. I will be here for your bad moments and I will do my best to make those unpleasant times better because I know that you can do that for me, you simply have that magic that I think you hide in those dimples of yours.”

And just like that, I finally got my Leeteuk to smile and chuckle.

“Thank you.” He suddenly said with much sincerity.

“Huh? For what?? I just picked a fight with you.” I was dumbfounded why he suddenly thanked me.

“No, you fought for me honey. You quarreled with me because you wanted me to know that my feelings truly matter to you, that I can make mistakes and you’d still be here, that I can worry and complain without shedding my image and that my dimples really are the reason why you love me.” Now it was my turn to laugh at his statement.

“Oh yes you caught me. That’s the only reason I’m with you so you need to maintain them for me, I need to see your smile and those dimples at least once a day.” As soon as I said that Leeteuk flashed a big grin only for me. “But seriously oppa, happens and I just happened to be with you so I can help you get over those issues, because I love you.” And I truly meant what I said.

He sniggered and that was not the reaction I was looking for. “You just said .” He answered my questioning look.

“Really? The same sentence had the words I love you yet that particular term sticks with you.”

“Saranghae.” He expressed it so sincerely, not only with his sweet voice but with those piercing eyes that just bore into my heart and soul. I get that feeling that he really says those words from the bottom of his heart, just like I do.

I remember how he placed his hands on the sides of my face, he caressed my cheeks softly before lowering his hands just a bit to cup my jawline. I closed my eyes slowly, knowing what will happen next. He leaned in to kiss me on the lips and suddenly I felt lighter and better, the act released my inhibitions and made me forget any other feeling except for love and happiness, I wished he felt the same too…a true love’s kiss.

Our kisses are so natural now, compared to our first few weeks of dating wherein we were both shy and awkward. He would even utter the word ‘popo’ or ‘kiss’ as if it was a request or question. Asking a person for permission to kiss them makes the situation more embarrassing because the other person wouldn’t want to answer with a straight yes because they don’t want to seem eager. My face would blush in response when he’d do that, although secretly I know he loves that he has that effect on me.

Now our lips are so compatible, and even if we’ve kissed a lot of times (and may I say have gotten a lot better at it), it still didn’t mean any less, just like the three lovely words that we express often.

He works very hard may it be on or off stage.

It’s really easy to see why Leeteuk and other guys like him are attractive. It’s because confident (not cocky) men inspire us women to be more confident and headstrong. He will be the one to motivate and push us to our limits because they see the potential in us. Although Leeteuk loves be taken care of and to have someone to lift the weight off his shoulders even just temporarily, he can’t, no, he doesn’t want to share the difficulty with anyone. So far, I feel like I’m doing a fairly good job in giving Leeteuk some r and r. I know he’s also a kid at heart but he has learned to really show off a grown up image to the people trusting him to lead them. That’s why when he’s with me, I make sure to let him feel that he can shed off that leader image and just be him…to be Park Jung-soo and not Park Leeteuk.

The sound of the door opening made me snap out of my reverie.

“Sorry I made you wait.” Jungsoo oppa immediately apologized once he slid into the driver’s seat.

“It’s fine oppa, you warned me. I was the one who wanted to be here early anyway.” He kissed me on the cheek and asked what I wanted to do now and what he could do to make-it up to me. I dismissed his offer because he didn’t need to do anything, nothing was his fault. So I told him that I just wanted to have a cozy and lovely night with him.

Of course I am not with him just because he’s a star or a leader, I love him for who he truly is, a caring, loving, warm person. When I’m with him I feel like my hearts truly at peace and blooming.

I need and love him, just like how his team needs him and despite the fact that they’ve known him longer, I am doing my best in making him feel my true feelings.

                                                                                                                                                

“If that girl waits for me for two years, I think she’s somebody that will wait for me for the rest of her life” “If I do end up beginning a relationship before I leave and she does wait for me, I will marry that girl within 5 years.” - Leeteuk.

You may or may not know but my ultimate bias in Super Junior is Leeteuk, despite the fact that I have a lot of Donghae stories.haha

Awww…thank you for those who subscribed early even when I wasn’t posting (this) first chapter yet!! ^_^ I hope you enjoy this kind of new thing I’m trying. I rarely use first pov’s and if I remember correctly, this is just my third attempt at it.

Do give me your feedbacks and tell me if you like the new/different style :)

~Comment Replies~

myfishyx: Thanks, I'll take note of that ;) I'm a big fan of his talent in writing songs too, he always put out great lyrics :)

anj_yesung: I'll put that on my list since he's one of my crushes too.haha ;)