Sehun brought you home despite of what Jongin had to say, and honestly, you were kind of glad he was willing to do so. The walk and subway ride back was mainly silent until you two started walking side by side to each other. You took a few peeks at his emotionless expression before stopping your pace. "Can we talk for a bit?" you pressed your lips together and stood still, "It's been a long night and if I'm in my room alone without expressing out what on my mind. I don't know... I might end up thinking too much."

"Okay," he answered simply. 

You were kind taken back by how fast he allowed you to, but nonetheless grateful. Honestly, some other girl probably would probably throw some sort of mental tantrum at him if they were in your situation. Why? Sehun was kind of treating you like a pity party right now. 

"Um, well, why did you... you know, go with Jongin?" you questioned.

He raised a brow. "Asking my questions is expressing yourself?" he questioned you back.

You frowned and felt slightly intimidated. Words didn't come out as easy as they did when you talked to him before. Now, you felt the pressure to talk properly and formally. "Never mind. I shouldn't bother you with any of this," you continued to walk ahead of him so you didn't have to see any reaction. Perhaps your slightest hope for your friendship was just asking too much. 

"Wait up," he caught up to you, and luckily for his long legs, he was able to keep the same pace as you as well, "I'm just still-"

"Angry at me?" you finished his sentence as you were still strutting home with a hint of anger in you as well.

Sehun grabbed your wrist to stop yourself from walking ahead. "I was being inconsiderate, okay? I'm sorry," he apologized, "My emotions are just as all over the place as yours are."

"Why?" you asked.

"Because of what happened today."

"Why would you be stirred up about it?" you quickly shot him another question.

"Because it's shocking."

"Why was it shocking?" And another.

"Because it was."

"But wh-"

"Because I was scared of how you would react!" he shouted, "I was scared you would die inside. I was scared that you would fear life. I was scared that you could've been hurt. I was scared because I like you. I still do, and it's only getting harder to even be near you because I know you won't like me the same way. No matter how many girls I'm with. No matter how different I change my hair. You look the other way. You don't care. Bora, I want you to look at me!"

You blinked a few moments and took a few moments to take in his outburst. You could feel his fingers shaking against your wrist. You can feel him begging you not to reject him. You can feel him, his feelings, his fears, his heart for you. You can feel it. Yet at the same time, you were not sure how to even react. 

"I don't know if you know, but I'm always looking at you," you said, almost in an unconsciously pitiful way, "You said we can't be okay."

You hated how you sounded like right now. It was almost like you were a desperately lost child trying to find your way back, but there was no way to go back. You, too, had feelings, but Sehun was easily throwing and tossing it around like he was playing monkey. He'll say he wants to be with you, but at the same time, he doesn't. It's probably because he hasn't gain maturity yet, because he couldn't see how selfish he was being. 

"Do you even like me the slightest bit? You can't say that if you don't," he was blinded. He wanted nothing but an answer; an answer that she wasn't sure if she could provide the one he wanted to hear.

"Just give me time," you whispered, "I don't know how to answer. Let me think. Let me-"

"Bora, hey, I'm sorry. Just... let's get you home. You shouldn't have this on your mind. I'm sorry," his grip was more and more tender as he talked, "Forget about it. We'll talk when you're stable and ready. I'm sorry for not considering you again."

You liked how he held onto you like that. "It's okay," you answered, "We can talk later... Maybe, Monday?"

"We'll see."

At least, you knew you were going to talk to him in the close future.

It was around 10pm by the time you got home, and Sehun already took the bus back to his house. You were pretty sure your dad was already asleep due to early lab and Chanyeol was either playing video games or over Baekhyun's house, but the first thing you even noticed was the television in the living was on. You didn't bother saying much, but you saw your older brother dead asleep while Baekhyun was using your brother's phone.

"Hey?" you were unsure to whether you should greet them or not, but you did anyway. 

Baekhyun looked up, surprised of your sudden entrance but at the same time relieved. "Your home," he announced in a soft voice and stood up.

"You can sit. I'm just going to go to bed," you spoke softly, "Do you want any blanke-"

"Jongin messaged your brother about what happened today," he abruptly told you.

"Uh, yeah," you pressed your lips together and forced out a smile.

"Are you alright?" he was careful with his words knowing the difficult situation she was in. 

Baekhyun knew you well despite of his current role in your life, but he was still well aware to when your smile was real or not. He knew a lot but had always responded to you like he knew nothing. Probably because to you, right now, he was nothing, but your brother's friend (but what is that to you even?). 

He was trying though. He really was trying. Baekhyun never really had a gentle and considerate type of personality until he saw how vulnerable you became. The kind and sweet Baekhyun would've never existed if it wasn't for you. He used to make you cry. He used to make you hurt. He used to do all of this harmful stuff towards you. Why? It was rough love. He had multiple targets before, but you were his favorite and became his only one.

"Bora, you're a girl. Girls can't play because girls don't have powers," the young boy stuck out his tongue as he started to dribble the ball away from you. 

Being, well, six years old, you were frustrated and sad. There was no shame to expressing your happiness, your anger, and even sadness. You were angry with him, so you screamed. 

"Hun! You're so mean!"

And cried.

"Why do you hate me?"

From afar, he would smile with your brother as they enjoyed the torment he did to you, but when you just sit on the ground with your hands covering your face, his smiles of victory washes away. His first experiences with guilt were always because of you; because of what he does to you. 

"It's Hyun, you dummy! How many times do I have to tell you? Baek. Hyun," he emphasized from afar as he gave your brother a high five with laughter following. 

You never understood why you were never able to play with him and your own brother. You and your brother used to play all the time until this kid that loved pulling on hair came into your lives. Baekhyun was evil in your eyes but you always forgave him when he shows affection towards you or showed any sort of kind action to you. He was nice, when he wanted to be, you assumed.

Standing there, you cried harder as he threw more insults. You crumbled down, and every time you tried wiping your tears, more only streamed down your face. It was a never ending water supply.

You felt warm fingers around your arm and your body being pulled up. "Get up, girly! I'm only teasing!" he shouted to get his point across. You only cried more and slapped his hand away from you like he was infected with something. 

"You're such a crybaby!" Baekhyun shouted and then held your hand, which silenced you because of the shock. 

Because you cried so much, your vision was blurred from your tears, but you were oddly calm and a slight be stunned. And honestly, Baekhyun was stunned too. "Hey! I have the powers! I can make you to not be sad," he concluded and smiled proudly, "I just have to hold your hand."

"Wait, how did you do that?" you awed, forgetting why you were ever angry towards him, "Teach me!"

Baekhyun smiled at your shift in emotions. "The power just came to me!" he exaggerated, "God gave me the power to stop you from being sad."

It was a ridiculous discovery, but to someone who was six, it made sense. And because you nestled that "fact" in your head, every time you were sad, he tried holding your hand. And it worked.

You don't know how this happened, but you were on the swings at a nearby park with Baekhyun. You sought comfort, and Baekhyun was offered to you. The two of you were just silent at the swings for the first few minutes. Baekhyun didn't expect much to get out of you anyway, but you seeking out to him for company was just enough for him.

"I witnessed someone attempting suicide," you spoke out softly, "My mom..."

"I know," Baekhyun also reciprocated the volume of her voice, "You don't have to talk about it if it hurts you too much."

"I was so distorted after her death," you told him, "Today, reminded me of her. I haven't visited her grave. I haven't even forgiven myself yet."

"You know," he said, "It was never your fault."

That's what they always say. The devil inside of you spoke, and that's all you thought. It was your fault and anyone else who said otherwise was wrong. After multiple sessions of therapy, you managed to just push it away. That was all. It was only stored away, meaning it was going to resurface. 

And it did. Today.

"I could've saved her," you mumbled.

"You were only eight," Baekhyun stated, "Stop doing this to yourself."

"It's my fault..."

You heard no one's voice but yours and the demons that were inside of you. They would whisper. And whisper.

Until you just crack.

Tears were falling rapidly down your face. You stopped yourself from swinging with your feet. You hated yourself. You despised yourself. You, too, wanted to kill yourself. You had no right to even stop Luhan. You were just as hurt as he was. You just-

Warmth filled your hands and soon your whole body. You stopped crying and only the remaining tears you had already cried out were dripping down your face. Your vision was blurry when you slapped yourself back into reality.

Why had you stopped crying? Why did it suddenly stopped? How did you stop hearing the constant whispers? What happened?

You saw Baekhyun's fogged figure, heard his steady breathing, tasted the freshness of the air, smelled his clean scent, and felt his soft fingers into yours. 

"You're okay now," he said.

The power of the touch of his hand still was planted in your head, whether you knew it or not.

Author's Note: It has been a very long time! And for those who has noticed, I actually deactivated my AFF account for a month. I will not get into details to why I did it or why I decided to come back, but I'm here finally with a new chapter too! My writing is really rough lately, so please forgive me. I'll reread/edit this once I finish all my assignments for this week. LOL, don't hate me for giving more Baekhyun scenes. I warned all of you already in my last chapter!