"Where are we going?" a nervous Youngjae sat beside me in the passenger seat of the Hyundai that I was driving. He had been asking me that question over fifty times, since we left our dorms.

"Shh. You're being too noisy," I flashed a smirk in his direction.

We drove on in silence and it was only broken when we arrived at a fancy restaurant and I stepped out to open Youngjae's door for him.

"Whoa... You can actually afford this?" Youngjae's eyes were as big as saucers as he eyed the restaurant.

Without saying a word, I led Youngjae into the fancy restaurant and we waited to be assigned a table.

"Table for two?" a smiling lady asked us.

I nodded and she showed us our table, which was in a corner. I thanked her and Youngjae and I settled down. Youngjae picked up the menu and once his eyes were set upon the prices, his mouth dropped.

"Close it before a fly goes in," I teased
him.

"C-can I really order anything here?" Youngjae gulped.

"Of course, it's my treat," I said.

"R-really?" he looked up at me.

"Just order anything you want," I assured him.

A waitress arrived and asked us if we were ready to order. After a hesitant glance at me, he ordered a fairly dear dish while I ordered my all time favourite, steak.

"That's all? I expected you to order more," I joked.

Youngjae went red and instead of replying to my question, he said, "Thanks."

"It's nothing," I dismissed with a wave of my hand.

"But why are you doing all this for me?" Youngjae asked.

"No comment," I replied.

Youngjae snorted and we continued eating. After lunch, we headed to the cinemas to catch a movie.

"Dude, you watch chick-flicks?" I commented on his movie choice.

He shrugged and said, "Sure, why not? I'm gay anyway. If you don't like it, you can choose another movie."

I felt like I was taking my girlfriend out on a date. I shook my head and told him that the movie was fine. Truthfully, I had wanted to watch the new Transformers movie but that day was his day, not mine. I did not know how many times I had yawned during the movie. Youngjae was having fun though, laughing all the time. Me? I did not see any reason to laugh. I mean, what was there to laugh about? All I saw were chicks bickering about God knows what. Boy was I glad when it all ended.

When Youngjae got into the car, he beamed at me and asked, "Where are we going next?"

"Err..." I hesitated, I was running out of ideas. "Where do you want to go?"

"Hmmm... How about the amusement park?" Youngjae suggested.

"A-amusement park?" I stuttered and my right eye started twitching.

//Flashback//

"Hyung, where do you want to go?" I asked my brother, Daeyoung.

"Hmm... What about the amusement park?" he suggested.

"Eh? But hyung...I'm afraid of rides..."

"It's okay. I'll be there to protect you," Daeyoung reassured me.

"Are you sure hyung?" Even though I never doubted his words, I still needed to ask him.

"I promise. I swear upon my own life," he confirmed.

"Ey, hyung, don't say such stuff," I laughed and together, hand in hand, we went to the amusement park.

//End of flashback//

Tears welled up in my eyes. It was my entire fault... If he had not sweared...

"Youngjae ah, let's go somewhere else... I don't feel like going there," my voice was thick with emotion.

"Why?" he pouted, "Aw come on Dae.. Are you afraid of the rides? You don't have to be so scared, I'll be there to pro-"

"I SAID I DON'T WANT TO GO!" I yelled at him and immediately regretted it.

"D-Dae..." he stuttered, "What's your problem? I only suggested...if you're really against it, we can go somewhere else."

I did not say anything and silently drove on. I didn’t dare to look at his face, I knew I would feel guilty for shouting at him when I see his sad face thus, I kept my eyes on the road. I had a single destination in mind but I didn’t know whether he would like it or not.

"We're here," I broke the awkward silence and held the door open for him.

As soon as Youngjae saw where we were, his eyes filled up with tears. I had expected this reaction. We had arrived at the same beach we went to a last time, it was also the same beach where his ex-boyfriend had died.

"I don't think I can handle it, Daehyun," Youngjae managed to choke out. "The memories are just too painful."

"That's why you need to come here," I told him, "You need to gain back your confidence and get this over with, once and for all."

Youngjae sighed and allowed me to lead him towards the shore. I took off my shoes, he did the same, and stepped into the warm waters but he did not follow.

"Come, I'll be right beside you. Don't be scared," I coaxed him into the waters, all the while holding his hand.

I could feel his fingers tremble, hear his breathing become haggard and see his eyes widen in fear as he stepped into the warm sea. I didn't know why I was doing this. I didn't even know why I was caring for him. All I knew was that I wanted to help him get rid of his fear forever. He needed to get over the past and live in the present. Why? I wasn't sure. Maybe it was because he reminded me so much of myself; both of us had lost someone we love in tragic occasions. I had move on and it was only right that I helped him do the same.

Youngjae's breathing calmed down as the minutes passed and he had controlled his fear by then. I brought him deeper into the ocean until the water was at our waist.

"Stop! Let's not go any further than this," Youngjae said.

I nodded. I wasn’t intending to go any further as I didn't want to wet my shirt. Slowly, Youngjae began to gain his confidence and let go of my hand. He waded around the area and he seemed to enjoy playing in the water.

"This-this is kind of fun," he said and grinned at me.

I smiled back, glad that he was happy and that he did not seem to fear the ocean any more. I watched him as he splashed and played with the water like a little kid, I really hoped that I had cured him. Fifty minutes later, we were back on the beach. I had brought a mat as I wanted to watch the sunset with Youngjae. Youngjae sat beside me, one hand behind him, supporting his upper body while the other was lying casually between us. All was well until that hand s its way around my waist and Youngjae leaned his head on my shoulders.

"What the-" I started as I was not used to intimate physical contact.

"Just one minute..." Youngjae's voice was slurry.

I sighed deeply and let him lean on my shoulder.

"Thank you. For everything you've done to me, last time, now and the future," Youngjae's voice cracked.

I stiffened. Was he crying?

"You know, I've always dreamed of watching the sunset together with you... Just that there's something different with my dreams and now," Youngjae said.

"What is it?" I asked, dreading the answer as I already knew what it was.

"In my dreams... you were... my boyfriend and we were having fun like a couple," he looked up at me. "Of course I'm having fun now but it's just so different from what I had always imagined it to be. It's like my dream just came true... yet it isn't like my dream at all..."

I did not speak, I knew exactly what Youngjae was talking about but I couldn’t bring myself to break his moment of happiness. I groaned inwardly. So, Youngjae had not gotten over me yet. I could see it was going to be hard making him forget me, with me being with him all the time...

"I know what you're thinking, Jung Daehyun, and I want to let you know that I have thought it over. I want to love you and I will never give up on you. Even if you try, it will not work. But please do not blame yourself; it's not your fault that I am in love with you. Whatever though, I am going to make you fall in love with me instead." Youngjae sat up straight and watched the sun setting.

I watched too, as the giant orange orb gently sank from the horizons into the sea, as if the sea was slowly that fireball and diminishing all its light. I wished I could be the sun, I wished that I could be into the icy depths of the sea... to not be anything anymore. I wish I would just enter the black nothingness of the ocean, I wish I would just be swallowed up like the sun and be positively nothing at all. The sun submerged itself completely and the sky glowed a bright orange for a moment before it too, blended into a pale indigo, signalling the start of dusk.

As the remaining wisps of pink in the sky blackened out, Youngjae's eyes slowly closed and he fell into a deep slumber.