"Good job filming today, guys. Here's the venue for our next filming site," our manager told the six of us.

We were all in the living room of our dormitory and we had just gotten back from filming our third episode which was the cooking competition.

"The amusement park? WOOHOO!!! We're finally gonna have some fun!" Youngjae pumped his fist in the air.

"It’ll be nice to have some fresh air at last," Yongguk smiled at Youngjae.

"Nice? It’s great we're having a break! We haven't had one for ages!" Himchan put his hands behind his head and dreamed of the next day.

"Hyung, what's wrong?" Jongup asked me.

It wasn’t difficult for him to spot that something had gone wrong. My face had turned ghostly white and my eyes were shining with tears. My whole body was trembling and I could not help but make small whimpering noises. The feeling of dread clutched my heart and I excused myself from the group.

That night, I could not sleep. I felt sorry for the other members who were sharing the same lower bunk with me as I was tossing and turning around and I was sure my movements would have woken them up. However, I really could not bring that thought out of my mind, the amusement park was the place I wanted to go to the least. I clearly remembered what happened years ago and bit down on my pillow to avoid crying out loud.

//Flashback//

"AHHHHHHHH!!! HYUNG!!!!" I screamed, terrified of the ride which was swaying dangerously left to right, nonstop.

"Haha don't worry, Daehyun, I'm here!" my brother stood up and spread his arms wide open. "Isn't this fun?"

"Hyung, SIT DOWN! You know you're not supposed to do that!" I shouted at him, terrified that something might happen.

"No way, this is too fun!" He ran to the front of the ride. "Wheeeeee~ I'm king of the-WOAH!"

"HYUNG!!!!!!"

I got up from my seat, desperate to save him. But it was too late, I tripped and my hand, instead of clutching the back of his shirt, nudged him and he fell...

//End of flashback//

I couldn't take it anymore. I got up and went to the bathroom. I the lights and looked at myself in the mirror, I looked like I had aged ten years. My skin was wrinkled and my eyes were red, staring wide. My hair was standing limp over my face which had thinned drastically around the cheeks. My lips were white and cracked and cold sweat was pouring down my face.

I the tap and splashed my face with icy cold water. Water dripped down my bare chest and soaked my upper body. I looked back up at my reflection. If anything, I looked even more dishevelled. I was panting loudly and there was a twitch in one eye. Unable to take it, I rinsed my face with water again and again.

"Are you trying to drown yourself?"

I quickly looked up and saw Youngjae standing at the door through the mirror. I turned around.

"What's happening to you, Dae?" Youngjae stepped closer and examined my face. "You've been so pale since this afternoon. Are you feeling all right?"

He reached up to feel my forehead but I slapped his hand away.

"It’s none of your business!" I growled at him and started to push my way past him when he put his hand on my chest to try and stop me.

I froze in my tracks at the contact and tensed up. Realizing what he had done, he blushed furiously and dropped his hand from my bare chest, dropping his gaze from it as well.

"I know there's something bothering you," he looked into my eyes. "Don't you want to tell me?"

"Leave me alone," I attempted to shove him away again but failed.

"Is it because of the amusement park?"

I stiffened when I heard those words. "How did you know?" I was on the verge of breaking down and my voice cracked.

"I pretty much figured," he started. "Last time, you became angry when I suggested we go to the amusement park and I noticed that now, you’re having the same reaction as you did last time."

My eyes stung but I refused to give in.

"I don't know why you're so scared of amusement parks. If you have a reason, tell me. I'll try my best to help you."

A tear dropped from one eye to the floor and I cursed at myself for crying. I turned away from Youngjae so that he could not see my face.

"I suppose you don't want to tell me? But why not? I told you everything, Dae. I trusted you. Why don't you do the same for me?" He sighed in frustration when I remained silent. "You have to remember I'm your best friend now, and I'll be there for you, no matter what happens. I promise."

That was it. I could not hold on any longer, I broke down into a million pieces right in front of Youngjae. I had broken the promise I made to myself years ago, that I would never let anyone see my weak side. I showed my vulnerability to Youngjae, one whom I always thought was weaker than me. It seemed like the opposite then, as he was wrapping his arms over my frail body, letting me sob onto his shoulder. I cried hard, letting all my emotions out. I wanted to scream right there and then but I didn't want to wake the others up. Youngjae patted my back, saying that everything was going to be all right. How was that even possible? Right then, I felt as if everything that could go wrong was going wrong. I wept on Youngjae for what seemed like a minute... Maybe an hour... Maybe two, until I finally let go. My heart felt much lighter but I still felt regretful for letting Youngjae see my broken side.

Youngjae took off his wet shirt, dabbing the corners at my face, drying it. I remained still, letting him do whatever he wanted. I knew the battle was lost. Youngjae would think of me as a weakling and he would take advantage of me, just like all the others had... all my so-called 'friends'.

After wiping my face clean, Youngjae stood back and stared at me intensely. I saw something in his eyes, pity maybe... maybe sympathy even. He let me compose myself first before he spoke up.

"Dae... You know this is the first time I've seen you cry. And it scares me yet relieves me at the same time."

I sniffed, too ashamed to even talk to him.

"I know whatever it is, it’s bothering you," he bit his lip. "And you can tell me anytime, whenever you feel like it."

I nodded silently.

"Why are you acting like this?" Youngjae asked. I looked up.

"Don't you look down on me? For crying?" I asked back.

"Look down? On you?" Youngjae shook his head. "Dae, you're the last person in this world I would ever look down on. If anything, you made me look up on you."

"But why?" I questioned, bewildered.

Youngjae did not answer imediately, instead, he pulled me into a hug.

"Because I love you," he whispered into my ear.

This time, I did not pull away. It felt strangely comfortable, being hugged by Youngjae. Even though it might seem weird to others, two men, above the waist, hugging in the bathroom, I realized what I really needed was a shoulder to cry on. And a friend who would give me a hug whenever I needed one. I burrowed my face in his neck. But not before I saw the bathroom door close and a curly-haired figure disappear into the bedroom. A figure which so resembled Junhong.