"Hyung, I like you. Will you be my boyfriend?" If it was possible, Junhong blushed even more but he kept staring deep into my eyes.

I broke the gaze, suddenly feeling uncomfortable and wishing that I had not stopped to ask what he was up to. If I wasn't about to walk to my death, I would have sympathised with him, I might even have been polite to him. However…

"I'm sorry, but I'm not interested," I said steely.

Junhong looked taken aback and giggled nervously. "Oh... I knew you were going to say that but... You didn't have to be so harsh..."

"Well who cares if I'm harsh? Do I have to be nice to a person I don't even like? Heck, I don't even want to see your face!" I literally yelled at Junhong's face.

The smile on Junhong's face vanished and it was replaced with a shocked expression. "H-hyung..." his eyes suddenly began to shine and I had the suspicion he was going to start crying. I decided I had better go before I did too.

"You know what? I'm wasting my time speaking to you. I don't know why I even bother myself with you, you're nothing but a boy who thinks he's in love. Oh, get over it!" I said as Junhong started to make whimpering sounds and tears started spilling out of his eyes.

Unable to bear it any longer, I pushed my way past him and ran. I ran until there was some distance between him and me before I stopped, leaned on a tree and cried until my heart felt raw.

I'm sorry Junhong, I had to do it. I rather you suffer from heartbreak than my death.

My chest felt constricted, I had just hurt one of my closest friends and guilt washed over me like huge waves. I found myself clutching my chest and taking in deep breaths to calm myself down. It only struck me then how I felt about leaving everyone behind. I thought it would have been better if I had not met Junhong in the woods, then I could take my life with ease, however, I was already having second thoughts about it.

I slapped my face, hard, telling myself that I had already decided. I thought of my brother, anything that would keep my thoughts away from my members, the people whom I had unknowingly grown a close bond with, one that neither I nor they knew until then. Reminiscing my happy memories seemed to do the trick, I could almost feel the excited jolt at the thought of having to reunite with my brother again. I got my back off the tree and continued on my way.

As I walked on, the sky became darker and darker, until only a dim light could be seen in the distance where the sun was setting. Tears threatened to invade my eyes again as I remembered the first time Youngjae and I watched the sunset together. I missed him so much it hurt and could not help but wish that he could be here with me to give me emotional support. He was the one friend who had been there for me almost all the time and I could not help but think whether dying was really worth it.

I sighed heavily, I was having a lot of second thoughts that day. I was usually a determined person who was set out to do whatever I wanted to right from the start. That day, I felt fragile and weak, maybe it was because my time left on earth was slowly slipping away.

The dirt on the ground was quickly replaced with rocks and pebbles as I stepped into the place I wanted to be most, the stream that I had not gone to in days. I stopped and took in a deep refreshing breath, one of the last I would be having before I took my leave. I sat down at my usual area, thinking back of the times I was most happy here. Truthfully, I would say that I was able to think about the happiest things when I was with Junhong, thinking about stuff near the stream. It was probably because I wasn't sure how insecure my thoughts were but I always had that insecurity that if I thought deep about serious stuff, he would be able to read my mind. All in all, it helped me a lot for one thing, thinking happy made me a happier person, I wasn't really happy but it helped to release the stress in my mind.

That day though, Junhong wasn't around and my head was filled with bad memories. I did not bother throwing them into the water like I used to, I wanted to bring them with me.

A large white orb slipped into the sky as the last streaks of gold vanished, signalling the start of dusk. I watched the starry sky, smiling slightly at the thought that I was going to join my brother up there. Hyung, I thought. I'm sorry. I couldn't keep my promise, I couldn't become a famous star like you wanted me to. I gave up... Because I miss you, I miss you too much and this world is killing me. Please hyung, forgive me and wait for me, wherever you are... I'll be there and we'll be just like when we were young.

I hadn't known I was crying. If I collected all the tears I shed that day, it would fill a bucket. I stood up on the piece of rock that I was sitting on. The cold breeze blew gently on my face and I could feel my fringe being swept to the side. It was a peaceful and quiet night and I preferred it that way. I glanced behind me one more time, saying my goodbyes to my members for the last time before turning back to face the stream which was slowly rolling past me.

The moon appeared full, out of a mass of clouds just then. I felt my breathing become harsh and knew that I should do it soon. I raised the knife to my neck, my heartbeat quickened as I saw it gleam in the moonlight, and closed my eyes...



(A/N: Hey everyone, I'm sorry I haven't been updating for a long time as AFF was down for the past few days and some of my data were deleted. Two of my chapters as well as some of my subbies were gone :( and I was actually waiting to see whether it would be back to normal. Apparently, I decided to not wait any longer for your sake. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and subscribe and comment please.)