Digidigidum Digidigidum
Mogeul joyeolganda
Get down, get down,
get get get get get down
Get down, get down,
Bowowowowow
*BAM*

I panted heavily as I watched Junhong collapse to the ground. We were filming our music video for our debut song title, Warrior.

As soon as the director yelled, "CUT!” I too, collapsed on the floor beside Junhong. I was too exhausted to even walk over to the area where our water bottles were at. It was our third take for the day and we had been filming Warrior non-stop.

A coordi-noona came up to me and handed me my water bottle. I thanked her and gratefully took what felt like a gulp of life. I then handed the water bottle to Junhong who, as the maknae, seemed much more tired than me. He took it from me, giving me a dimpled smile and gulped down the remaining water. I stood up and went over to the computer screen to take a look at our music video take. It wasn't bad. This time, we had made sure there were no mistakes and we filmed flawlessly. The director also seemed satisfied with it and treated us to an early lunch.

As we were eating, our manager told us some news.

"Yah! So the company have secured a variety show for you on SBS. It's going to be called 'Tadah! It's BAP!' So what do you say guys? Want to go for it?" he seemed over-excited about the reality program.

As usual, we let Yongguk decide for us. "I think it's kinda cool. And we'll be promoting our group too… Yeah, we'll give it a shot."

"Excellent!" our manager clapped his hands, he was ecstatic. "I'll go and notify the company immediately." With that, he left.

We went back for filming, this time individually. My mind was filled with thoughts of the reality program. It sounded like fun and I was actually looking forward to it.

That night, I surfed on the net about various variety shows and studied how idols acted on them I was just watching 2PM's idol army when Junhong busted into the room. As a reflex, my cursor went up and minimized the page. I swivelled around in my chair to face him, his eyes were glinting mischievously.

"Hyung, what were you doing on the net? I swore I saw you watching a video... What was it about?" he asked, not-so-innocently.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't think wrong, Junhong. I was just watching old variety shows to gain tips for our 'Tadah!' show."

"Really?" his face brightened up. "Can I join you?"

I nodded and turned back to continue watching the show. Junhong crouched over me, his left hand on the arm of my chair and his right on the mouse, clicking the window open. His chest was pressing on my back and his chin was grazing the top of my head. It was a really awkward position but I didn’t think Junhong noticed. I didn’t really think much of it as I had gotten used to skin ship since I came here.

That moment, the bedroom door creaked open and Youngjae entered the room. Junhong looked around and I peered under his arm.

"Hyung! We were just watching Idol Army! Wanna watch with us?" Junhong asked him.

Youngjae did not reply. Instead, he was staring at us with a funny look on his face. He caught my eyes and for a moment there, we stared at each other. I was trying to decipher what he was thinking when he broke the eye contact and looked at Junhong.

"I don't think I'll be watching thanks," he said icily and with that, he exited the room.

I felt like chasing after him and I did so. When I got up, however, Junhong attempted to push me down into the seat, saying that he really wanted to watch Idol Army with me. I apologized to him and ran out of the door to catch up with Youngjae. I saw his figure getting nearer and nearer as I ran and when I reached him, I grabbed his shoulder and forcefully turned him around.

He was crying, my expression softened and I asked him, "Youngjae ah, what's wrong? Did I do anything to upset you?"

He sobbed harder and fresh new tears sprung out from his eyes. I made no move to reassure him though.

"I...It wasn't you..." Youngjae stammered.

"Was it because Junhong was crouching over me? Youngjae, it's not what you think it is, he was just acting like my dongsaeng and I treat him as thus."

He kept crying.

"Listen, the only kind of affection I have for him is the brotherly kind. And we weren't really doing anything intimate or whatnot," I reasoned with him.

"To you, it might not seem intimate..." he started.

"So is this what it's all about? Is it because you're jealous?" I was starting to get really annoyed at Youngjae.

For quite a while, Youngjae sobbed into his hand and when he looked up, his cheeks were, if possible, even puffier and his eyes were swollen. "You don't even know anything."

And with that, he sprinted away.

What the-?

The next few weeks were the busiest weeks we had ever had. What with packed schedules, training, preparations for our variety show, and practicing the dance over and over again, we were exhausted and fidgety. Every little thing seemed to turn us off and we were on the verge of a mental breakdown. Our manager gave us the schedules for our 'Tadah! It's BAP!' show and we flipped through them dully.

"Make sure you're punctual understand?" he reminded us.

"Yes..." we chanted, our minds away from the present.

I yawned. There was only one place I would like to be at right then and that was my bed. For those few days, we only got to sleep two to three hours and the lack of sleep was slowly draining my energy and spirits. For the whole week, we practiced. Even though we were worn out, we still tried our best. On the day of our first filming, we woke up exceptionally early at four am and got ready to head to SBS for our filming.

We were carefully dressed up and made up in the dressing room. Since it was to be our first public appearance, our manager stressed the importance of making everything perfect. I was calmly sitting on my chair in front of the mirror, listening to Beast and nearly dozing off to dreamland when my makeup artist threw her tools onto the dressing table and exclaimed in rage, jerking me awake.

"I give up! I can't do it anymore!"

"What's the matter?" our manager came to inspect.

"There's this scar on his chin. No matter what I use and how thickly I apply the concealer, it just continues to be so obvious!" she looked as if she was about to cry.

I peered at myself in the mirror. Sure enough, the scar which I had gotten months ago from being injured by the door handle was still there. I looked up at my manager, waiting to be instructed on what to do.

"There's absolutely no way?" he questioned my makeup artist.

"No," she told him, defeated. "I’ve tried it all. It can’t be hidden at all with makeup."

Manager hyung then walked through and examined the clothes rack in search of an object which would cover my chin.  I sat back and closed my eyes. I had never thought that scar would be a major problem. The doctor told me it would take months for it to heal completely and he even had it stitched up. Now, there was only a faint line but it was still an obvious scar. Normally, it wouldn’t be something to worry about but knowing the public, they might put it in some way like Yongguk and I having a fight or something.

"FOUND IT!" manager hyung rushed up to me with what looked like a black mask.

I put it on hastily, there were only five minutes left. I glanced into the mirror one last time. I didn’t like the mask at all, it was uncomfortable and stuffy. Furthermore, it gave you the impression that you were sick. However, this was for my image...

"Hurry! Go!" manager hyung urged me to hurry and I rushed to the filming site.

I saw that the other members were already there and they looked up as I came.

"What took you...? Whoa! What happened to your face?" Himchan exclaimed.

Thankfully, I was spared the burden of answering by the filming crew who told us that the cameras were set to roll in three minutes.

That day, filming 'Tadah! It's BAP!' went well without any mishaps and it wasn’t until the fourth day of filming when everything started to go horribly wrong.

(A/N: BAP's No Mercy is out :D Haha I love it, don't you? ^^ Anyways, I would just like to thank all my subscribers and readers! You guise are the best! (Y) Thanks for supporting 'Heartless' and it'll mean so much to me if you comment :) I read them, I really do! ^^)