"Clap your hands everybody! Everybody clap your hands! Left left to right, right right to left, put your hands up in the sky!"

Yongguk and Junhong completed the recording of their song, Never Give Up. The whole studio erupted into applause.

"Assa! That was daebak! Bang and Zelo's Never Give Up song is done!" our manager cried.

All of us had gone through alot to help contribute in the making of this song. Only I laid low and helped as little as possible. Why help people who would never help you back? Back in our dorm, we crowded around the living room, discussing the song and Bang and Zelo's debut.

"Himchan-ah, wanna star in our MV?" Yongguk asked him.

At the word star, Himchan's eyes lit up and he replied, "Of course! Am I the main actor?"

"Anni. You'll be the extra."

Everyone burst into laughter at Himchan's face. Even I could not suppress a grin.

"So, we have extra no.1, what about extra no.2? Ah! Daehyun-ah, wanna be Himchan's extra-mate?" Yongguk turned his face to me.

I widened my eyes. No way was I going to work together with Himchan. Sure we exchanged a few words but I could not even hold a full sentence with him without painfully thinking about my dead brother. I shook my head and Yongguk's smile was wiped off his face.

"Fine then, spoilsport. If you want to remain unknown, then so be it."

Then he turned his back to me and talked to the rest. Soon, I made my way to bed without anyone noticing, or so I thought. As I was preparing for bed, the bedroom door creaked open and someone entered the room. I looked up and saw that it was Youngjae. I ignored him and laid down on my bed.

He just stood there for about five minutes before he spoke up. "What's wrong with you?"

I ignored him.

"Were you always like this?"

I clasped my hands over my ears.

"Why are you avoiding us? What have we done wrong?"

I sighed. He did not get it did he? I turned over in my bed and looked at him. This person was too innocent. He probably did not know what pain was.

"Sometimes, you just don't need people. You realise that they are the minorities of your life. Depending on people is a dangerous thing to do," I explained to him.

"But with people, you can share your feelings. Keeping everything to yourself is not healthy. Why would anyone want to seperate themselves from people. Surely you'd need someone to laugh, cry with and even love?" he retorted back.

"That's how you think. But at the end of the day, they'll just abandon you and they won't care what happens to you. They'll turn their backs at you. And your so-called friends will be wishing for your death," I argued.

"But not everyone are like that. We're not like that. Why don't you give us a try?" Youngjae asked tentatively.

"You don't know me well. Whatever you think of me now is just the outside. What if I'm heartless inside? What if I'm cold and evil inside?" I defended.

"But you're not," Youngjae whispered, "I think your cold, heartless self is just a mask. I think you're really something inside. I think you've got a heart. A heart that is cracked and tainted by whatever happened in your past."

Wow. He was not as innocent as I thought. But there was something bugging me.

"Why? Why are you willing to give me a chance? Why do you even bother to care?"

Youngjae looked into my eyes. There was something there I could see and it looked familiar yet, I could not distinguish it.

"Because I believe in you."

With that, Youngjae exited the room, probably embarassed. I shrugged, putting his words at the back of my mind, they were unimportant anyway...


"Omo! Please let everything go well! Please please please!"

We were backstage, watching the TV which showed the recordings of Music Bank. Currently, Yong Guk and Junhong were having their debut stage. It would most likely be their only stage thus, it was essential for everything to go well. I felt a hand slither into my own and looked up, Youngjae was unknowingly holding my hand. He was as pale as a ghost. What was his problem? It was not as if it was his own debut stage right? I pulled my hand away from him and he looked at me, shocked that he was actually holding my hand.

"Mi-mianhae," he stuttered.

Humph. I snorted and went to the other end of the room. What was he so scared about? It was not as if I was going to eat him alive. Speaking of eating, I was feeling extremely hungry. When were Yong Guk and Junhong going to finish performing? Just as I thought that, both of them entered the room.

"Hyung! You did well!"

"Junhong-ah, congratulations on your first stage!"

"I bet you were nervous!"

Congratulations were thrown back and forth. I snorted again. What was there to congratulate? Suddenly, the door opened and our Secret sunbaenims entered. I met them for the first time last week. I was actually pretty shy at the thought of meeting world-known stars. However, I quickly learnt that they were just as childish as my own group members.

I was thinking about food when Jieun patted my arm. "Daehyun ah. Wanna come with us to have lunch?"

I looked around the room, there was anticipation written on each of their faces.

I shrugged, "Ok."

We walked out of the studio together and used the company's van to go to our usual restaurant. I ordered my usual kimchi fried rice and kept quiet throughout lunch. All was well except that I had a feeling that Youngjae was staring at me throughout the whole thing. After lunch, we all went to the beach. Yongguk brought some soju and we all drank, except for Junhong, Jongup and I. It was not as if I was underage, I was afraid that if I got drunk, I would spill everything out to all of my members.

I walked towards the ocean, breathing in the fresh salty air. Someone came up behind me and I did not need to turn around to know that it was Youngjae. He stood beside me and gazed at the ocean.

We stood there for a long time until he suddenly spoke up. "He died there."

I looked at him. Who died? Right there in the ocean? Why?

Seeming to understand my unsaid thoughts, he continued. "We had known each other for fifteen years. He was my best friend, my brother and... my lover."

Wait. Did he just say his 'lover'? Then did that mean...

"Yes I'm gay. But it wasn't long before I realized that he was too. We went steady for only five months before-" He could not finish his sentence. His eyes were b with tears. "Don't misunderstand, I'm not crying because I lost my lover. I have long accepted the fact that he's dead. I'm crying because I'm the cause of his death. I drove him here. I was persistent. I didn't realize the consequences of my actions until it was too late. I told him, 'If you don't become my boyfriend, I will kill myself.' I think that was the reason he accepted. I already knew he was gay or else I'd never confess. He finally accepted my heart and I thought we were both happy. That was until the night before he died, he told me what had been bothering him. He told me his parents had found out about our relationship. He told me that they had abandoned him. He told me his friends despised him for being gay. He told me he couldn't take it anymore. That this love was driving him crazy. That it was taking everything away from him. That it was not worth it. He told me that if he continued to live on, he would become crazy. I didn't put much thought on that though. I didn't think he was that kind of guy. In the end, he walked to his death into this ocean. He broke my heart and my mind. I was afraid to talk to people, afraid that I would stupidly fall in love again. I was a loner everywhere I go and I had no real friends. That was, until I met you." He smiled at me through his tear-streaked face.

I stared back. "Why are you telling me this? You know I don't care."

He chuckled, "That's why I'm telling you, people who don't care won't waste their effort spreading the secret. They might even forget all about it. I just needed to pour it all out to someone," he sighed and turned to me. "I feel much better now. Not happy, but good. Thanks, for listening to my troubles."

What happened next surprised me. He moved towards me and hugged me. His face rested on my shoulder, crying and soaking my shirt. I was speechless and just stoned there. Slowly, I raised a hand and patted him on the back while reassuring him that everything was going to be okay. I think my gesture surprised him, I think it surprised me even more. However, I could not bring myself to push this vulnerable boy out of my arms. After what seemed like an eternity, he let go. He kept his head down so that I could not see his expression.

I decided to tread carefully. "I know I've asked you this before but I think your answer was just half of what you really think so I'm going to ask you again, 'Why are you telling me this?'"

Youngjae repeated what he told me days ago. "Because I believe in you."

"Why?" I questioned him further.

He hesitated before barely audible, he whispered, "Because I love you."