Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to be free of emotions?

To empty yourself of happiness, sadness and anger?

There are times when a person can no longer take the pain that is tossed at them. Sometimes, they just have to bear with it. Other times, they prefer to forget about it. Forgetting is not as easy as you would have thought. When you forget, you lose memories.

Sometimes, those memories are unwilling to go. Either that or you're unwilling to let go.

This is what I did. I let go of my past. I no longer care about the future and the present bore me. The only reason why I am stiving to become a singer is because once upon a time, my brother had this ambition to become one. Why didn't he? You might ask. I would say, it was because he died.

Everyone knew how he died. But they had their facts all wrong. Only I know the truth. Why? I had witnessed it with my own eyes. It is the worst memory I have. That is why I am so eager to let go of it.

There are also times when you have no idea what to do. It is as if your life is crumbling under you. It is as if the weight of everything on your heart is so unbearable that you could literally feel cracks forming in it.
That's how I used to feel.
Not anymore.

Now, I am the heartless Jung Daehyun. People are not mean without a reason. People are not cold without a reason. And people are definitely not heartless without a reason.

Why would anyone accuse me of being so heartless, I might as well kill myself and not feel anything.

That's what I've heard over the years. My so-called friends taunted me with accusations. They accuse me because of one reason. They believe what everyone else believes. They believe I murdered my brother.

Why would this come as a shock to me? I already knew what the scenario would look like to others. I already knew right from the start who would be the scapegoat and I already knew what would happen to my family.

Unfortunately, my family refused to accept the truth. They refused to accept the cold-hard fact. They prefer to live in denial. They believed I was a traitor and a heartless freak.

See? My identity was already developed without much effort.

Fortunately, I realized the only way to save myself was to become what they think of me. Heartless.

~

It was a bright sunny day.

So what?

So what if there was good weather? It's not as if my whole day would turn out well.
I started off my day with a lot of pessimism, cursing at everything I saw. I stepped out of the hostel to go to school.

Usually people would stop to take a deep breath of the fresh morning air or smell the flowers. I found that a waste of precious time. Everything that held up my daily schedule was a waste of time. Like when a certain red ball came flying straight at me.

"Omo! Sorry ahjussi!" a smiling round-faced boy came right up to me and with a slight bow, he took his ball and sped off.

Wait, did he just call me 'ahjussi'? Tch! I clucked my tongue and made my way to the bus stop.
As usual, I pulled out my earphones and listened to 'Haru Haru' by Bigbang.

The bus was late and the bus stop was slowly getting crowded with students from my high school.
I was getting irritated. I never liked hanging around in crowded places.

Fifteen minutes later, the bloody bus finally came.

I got up and boarded the bus. I automatically went to the last seat at the corner. People were less likely to sit there. However, I was wrong as a girl plopped herself next to me.

"Annyeonghaseyo. May I sit here?"

I found it meaningless to reply as she had already made herself comfortable. I turned the volume of my earphones higher, hoping to drown out her voice.

"My name is Ye Jin."
 

What did she just say? I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you because I was listening to music.
I turned the volume up even higher. However, she spoke even louder and it wasn't enough to keep out her annoying voice.
 

"Oppa, what’s your name?"
 

I snickered. She barely knew me and she’s asking for my name. As soon as I laughed, I realized it was a mistake. I was supposed to feign deafness.
 

Knowing this, the girl continued to pester me for the whole ride. When the bus finally reached my school, I got up. Unfortunately, the girl was also from the same school as me. Her constant chattering irritated me. When I could not take it any longer, I pushed her up against a wall and snarled at her face,
 

"Ya, why don't you shut that annoying trap of yours and get the hell away from me? You're driving me crazy with your continuous yakking! It's bad enough I'm having a horrible day without having to deal with you!"
 

I think I got the message through. She stared at me wide-eyed. I stared back, letting her know that I really meant what I said and she was (if not worse) as bad as I described her to be. I was expecting her to push me off and walk away. I was even expecting a retort. I was not however, expecting tears to well up in her eyes. Nor was I expecting her to say this;
 

"Oppa, why are you so mean to me? I'm new here and I just wanted to make a new friend. I thought you were going to be my first friend. I thought I was not going to be lonely in this school. But since you hate me so much, Fine, I won't bother you. I'll just let you know one thing," she glared up at me. "You're really heartless, you know?"
 

With that, she shoved me aside and ran, crying, to the toilets. Man, I really hate crying females. What was there to cry about in this world. But that was not what got me. What really got me thinking was that she was the gazillionth person to call me heartless. I shrugged it off. Not that it mattered right? I mean, it's just a word.
 

However, for the rest of the day, I just kept thinking of what had happened. She had glared at me, as if she wanted to skin me alive. I had better watch out for that girl.