Chapter 47

时间停止

Shíjiān tíngzhǐ

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[Wednesday]

Luhan is running. He is running. He doesn’t know where he is going, but he tries. He tries to check all of the locations that are very dear for him. He runs and runs, breathing becoming hitched and mind occupied of what happened awhile ago.

[Flashback]

Daehyun smiles at him, quite blank, but still quite beautiful. He hands him a piece of paper, a short rectangle one and Luhan feels uneasy when he takes the piece of paper with trembling hands.

“Sehun told me to give it to you, by chance when I see you,” Daehyun says, his voice dropping two octaves and Luhan tensed at his voice. Luhan turns the paper over and he could feel his stomach drop.

Luhan hyung, if you will get this now or later, find me.

Find me. I’m just here. Find me, hyung.

Look for me.

His jaw slackens a bit from the shock that he had when he read the words on the paper. He looks at Daehyun and he finds him smiling, still blank, yet beautiful.

“Run, Luhan. Find him,” he says, voice soft yet commanding in a whisper-like. He stood there for a few moments, before turning around and makes a dash outside. Daehyun smiles, this time with a slight emotion of sympathy and encouragement.

“Good luck,” he whispers to the air, to Luhan and for Sehun before taking his abandoned chocolate shake from the table and sips on it.

[End of Flashback]

Luhan runs.

He runs to their old house, the one that they used to stay on- the abandoned one. He turns the dusty knob of the front door and when he finally turns it, he quickly pushed it inside and shouted Sehun’s name. An echo is the response and Luhan narrows his eyes at the deafening blackness and silence of the house before pulling the door back and slam it close.

Luhan runs again.

 

Soft, light footsteps make its way around the serene and tranquil place. The place is quiet, calming yet warm with memories. It’s quite secluded for it is hidden in the sight of man but appears when dared to enter the entrance and looks and ventures in.

A soft smile bloomed in his face as memories of the past resurface and plays around the area.

 

Luhan slams the door of the cab close and makes a run to Han River, running his way in the road of the Han River and he stops. Swirling his head to the right and to the left and in every direction, but Sehun is not there.

Luhan grits his teeth and turns his heels away and makes a dash to the waiting cab on the side.

He runs again.

The sky starts to darken.

 

He’s back at the road again, not minding the hurried steps of the people on the roads, not minding the murmurs of the ‘it will soon rain’ and the shifts of the black clouds starts to cover the once blue sky.

One thing clouds his mind and is that to find Sehun.

 

Luhan steps in to a familiar library book shop and finds the familiar old man that he knew years back then. The old man didn’t seem to notice him-the bell that is once connected to the door isn’t there anymore-and he takes soft steps to the counter when the old man notices him and gently smiles to him.

“Ah, Luhan. It’s been a long time, what brings you here, my boy?” the old man says with his usual soothing and calm voice that makes Luhan ease a bit and flashes him a warm smile back.

“Mr. Xui, it’s nice to see you healthy and strong again. Um, I’m quite in a hurry, but do you know where Sehun is?” he asks, a bit too quick and he curses mentally in his mind for being disrespectful to the old man. Mr. Xui smiles at him, knowing well what he is trying to point out.

“I’m sorry, my boy, but I don’t know where is Sehun could be now,” he replies, disappointment and apologetic linger in his tone. Luhan nods thankfully to him.

“Thank you,” he says before flashing one last smile and leaves the library book shop. The old man smiles weakly.

“Sehun’s been waiting for you too long, my boy. Find him fast before it’s all too late,” he whispers before disappearing to one of the rooms.

 

Luhan stops by at the dark alleyway and hid himself inside, fishing out his phone and quickly pressed a speed-dial number. He waits, biting his bottom lip in the process as he fidgets in anxiety and in hurry.

A few more rings, the call is picked up and he quickly utters, a bit loud and a bit too quick.

“Yongguk hyung! Do you have any clues where he is right now?”

“I’m sorry Luhan, I tried my best, but I can’t locate him nor do I have any clues where he is right now,” Yongguk replies, a bit dejected and tired. Luhan curses under his breath. He mumbled a quick ‘thank you’ before hanging up the call.

He bit his bottom lips harder as he tried to rack his brain where could Sehun be. He takes out the pocket watch from his other pocket and his eyes narrowed at the time that is displayed before pocketing it again.

He has no time left.

Biting his bottom lip for the last time-blood comes out from the cut and Luhan leaves the alleyway.

Luhan runs again.

 

He looks at the lake, once blue and clear and now tainted with dark and grey. The once serene and tranquil place became oddly quiet, deafening with silence and the atmosphere changes. The leaves dance, the wind picks up, the chirps of the birds as they fly away and the echo of the lake tells him something.

A droplet of water drops at the center of the lake, he looks up, rain pours down from the dark sky; cherished and warm memories that play around the place fades into mist and into nothing.

“It's raining, huh?”

A blank smile paints his face as he lowered his head and takes in the empty area. He stands on the ground, in front of the railings that surrounds the lake, and the rain shatters the sane noise.

 

Luhan enters the warm and homey café, drenched in rain and surveys the area. People inside the café murmurs and shifts their attention to the drenched person who bursts in the café. He ignores the murmurs and takes a walk inside, venturing in to find any familiar boy sitting on one of the dines of the cafe as a young waiter comes by and tells him to dry up inside the restroom. He paid no heed to the waiter and when he finds Sehun not in the café, he curses under his breath.

Luhan racks his brain again, trying to figure out where could Sehun be when something popped up in his head as he remembered it.

“Jongin!”

 

Jongin wasn't really someone that Luhan knew. They met twice, but he didn't really interact with Jongin that much. He heard a lot from Sehun back then, but they stopped talking about him after a month or two. Luhan doesn't really remember him that much until now. And when he did, Luhan could only do to himself was to scold himself harshly for not thinking about Jongin.

Luhan arrives at the apartment complex, running 5 floors as he arrived on the designated door of Jongin. He catches his breath first, cursing in his mind why he didn’t think earlier about Sehun’s cousin and why Jongin has to pick the highest floor of all times.

Luhan knocks on the door, no response, he tries again and there’s no response again. Luhan bangs the door several times and no one answered and Luhan growls at the wrong time of Jongin to leave the apartment. But yet again, he doesn’t even know if Jongin lives in the same apartment he used to live years back then.

He doesn’t even know if Jongin moved somewhere far or somewhere he doesn’t know. Luhan ruffles his hair, annoyed before kicking the door in frustration.

Luhan takes a deep breath and calms himself down. He thanked that the highest floor’s people contains 4 doors only and thanked that the sound of the harsh rain pouring down blocks his ruckus.

He visited a lot of places already and there is only one place left to look for Sehun. With a nod of his head, he runs again.

 

Sehun sits on the wet grass under a particular tree out of the others. The tree that he sat under is the tree that considers their mark of beginning. He looks in front, watching the rain pours down. He blankly stares at it, waiting for Luhan to come by.

“Tick tock, where are you?”

 

Luhan arrives at the Garden Museum. He’s sure to find Sehun here, because this is what the younger loves to visit often. He looks at himself and sighs. He’s drenched in rain and he’s bound to have cold by the next day, but he doesn’t care anymore. Sehun is important and time is ticking. He combs his hair, letting his hair be combed downward and water dropping off.

He steps inside the cold building and the young man in charge looks at him in surprise. He smiles and the young man panics a bit and hands out a towel to him. He shakes his head and puts up his hand.

“Thank you and I’m sorry,” he says with a small smile. He walks in, ignoring the fact that he is drenching the wooden floor. His heart is racing, beating loudly as he was excited to see Sehun. It may have taken so long to find him, but now he’s going to be able to see him again. After seven years of separation and long suffering of finding him around Korea, his hard work would finally pay off.

He halts in front a familiar door. A large intricate of G is carved on the wooden door. His hand reached for the golden knob as he breathes out a sigh and twists the doorknob and pushes the door.

“Seh-,” he stops as his smile fades.

His eyes take in the garden and he could feel his stomach churn.

Sehun is not here.

 

Sehun sighs, putting a glinting silver metal inside a card envelope before putting it inside and tying the plastic bag again. He puts it beside him and brought his knees together on his chest, blankly gazing the horizon. He hums a song.

"Under the rain

Waiting for you

Tears falls down from my eyes

The droplets of rain seems to mock me

Where are you?"

 

Luhan sits on his bed, towel draped on his head as the water spills on the carpet. Himchan comes in with a tray of soup and hot chocolate to warm him up. He strides in and places the tray on the nightstand before shifting his gaze to the dejected Luhan.

Luhan called him up to pick him up from the Garden Museum, crying and barely saying where he is at. Good thing, Luhan has his GPS on and he easily tracked him where he is at. And when he found him on the corner of the hallway, curled up in a ball, crying his eyes and heart out; he brings him back to the hotel.

Himchan sighs when he threw him a set of dry clothes and drapes a towel on his lowered head and leaves to fetch him something. And when he comes back, the younger isn’t dresses up yet and he sighs, frustrated by the fact that Luhan would get sick and that he failed to find Sehun.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing exasperatedly when Luhan spoke.

“I couldn’t find him anywhere, Chan. I couldn’t find him anywhere. I looked for him everywhere he could be, but I couldn’t find him at all,” Luhan pauses and looks at Himchan, “did I miss him? Did I miss out a place where he could be? Am I too late, Chan?”

Tears fall down from his eyes and Himchan quickly went beside him, cradling the young boy in his arms. Humming a song of comfort as Luhan sobbed in his arms. Himchan sighs and looks outside through the large transparent glass that serves as the window.

“Everything is going to be fine, Luhan,”

 

Maybe it served as the mark of their end also.

 

Luhan stares blankly at the dirty blue ceiling of his, the darkness swallowing up half of the room as the rain outside grew harsher and stronger. It’s been an hour since Himchan left him and it’s been an hour since he lost track of time.

Luhan thinks where Sehun could be and what he is doing now. Luhan is worried where Sehun could be and what he is doing. Countless questions clouds his mind, the silver glinting metal shines a bit together with the flash of lightning.

Brightening up the dark room and a flash of light shines in the room and Luhan shifts his gaze at the angle where the flash of light and a picture of Sehun and him flashes before his eyes before his eyes widen.

A gasp leaves his lips as he scrambled out of his bed and scurries his way to the photo frame. When he got a hold of it, he checks the picture, taking in the picture, he finds no clues. He takes out the picture from the frame and checks the back.

Once he checks the back, he placed the frame and photo down on the table and left his room, the slam of the door echoing in the spacious dark room. On the back of the picture, words were printed on the left down.

 

Our first anniversary in the park.

I love you, Luhan.

Yours truly,

Sehun

 

 

A white plastic bag is left behind at the back of the tree.

 

Luhan runs under the rain, running through roads and roads, ignoring the fact that he is really going to be sick by the next day and by the fact that he is drenched again by the rain, but that’s not important right now. Now, he knows where he is going and where to find Sehun.

He curses while running the streets, wondering why he didn’t double checks the one and only sacred place they have. The first place he visited was the park, way before Daehyun gives him the paper, he didn’t even thought that there was a possibility that he was early and that Sehun maybe came after he left or after a few hours. Luhan curses more under his breath, gritting his teeth in the process, clutching the pocket watch in his hand.

He arrives after a long run, venturing in further inside the park until he sights a familiar lake. He catches his breath once he entered the secluded area. Swirling his head around, he looks for Sehun around the area.

Droplets of rain becomes the beat of the day, the wind picks up, and leaves dances and the atmosphere shifts when Luhan caught sight of the big tree not too far from him. He jogs his way to the big tree, placing his hand on the trunk, making out the carvings of their name. He fisted his hand, punching the trunk hard that it bruised his knuckles.

Realization is just too much to handle.

His hand loosened a bit, making the long cord of metal falls down but not the watch itself. Tears falls down from his eyes as he punched the trunk of the tree again and again, until his hand bled from the force that he exerted several times.

He drops on his knees, the soft yet wet grass brushing against his thigh. He lets out pained cry, shouting and chanting Sehun’s name over and over again while clutching the pocket watch in his hand.

The rain eases down, drizzling a bit but the sky is still dark, giving a sign that it has stopped momentarily but will soon continue as the drizzle proves it.

11: 58

Luhan sees the white plastic bag at the back of the tree. He scrambled towards it and on his knees; he opened the loose tied plastic bag and found a small box and a card envelope on the side of it. The chain dangling on the side of his hand as he takes out the envelope, he opens it, not caring if the drizzle slowly wets the paper.

He finds a piece of paper inside. Taking it with trembling hand, he tries his hard to make out the words on the paper through his blurry eyes.

Dear Luhan,

If you’ll see this letter then that means I’m gone. I’m sorry hyung, I’m really sorry. I tried my best. I tried my best to wait for you to find me. Luhan hyung, I know that you are looking for me for the past years. That is why I’ve waited. I waited for you to find me, but it seems you didn’t find me at all. I bet we pass by each other, after all, this is a small world, but fate is too cruel to not let us meet. I wonder why? Hyung, please forgive me. Forgive me when I can’t wait for you anymore. Seven years is enough. Enough for my hope to be crushed, and for me to stop waiting for you. Truth to be told, hyung, I’ve had enough. The loneliness that I felt all this years is very bearable, but seeing how the world is so against us, I guess it’s time.

Do you remember what I told you when I gave you my watch?

I’m really sorry hyung. I love you, I really do love you. But I can’t bear to wait for you anymore. I’m really sorry, hyung.

It’s over between us.

Thank you for the memories and gifts. I’ll cherish them with all my heart. Remember that I always love you and will always be in my heart. Thank you hyung. For everything and your love, thank you.

Truly Yours,

Oh Sehun

 

P.S. I give back the silver ring you gave me. Thank you for that.

P.S.S. Oh, right.

Happy Anniversary, hyung.

 

Three things falls down on the ground as Luhan is in shock. Too shock to react or move.  His stomach churned in the most painful and worst way, his chest tightened as he could feel his lungs no longer provide oxygen for him and he could feel his heart shatters into a million pieces, but everything around him blurs into a buzz.

When the envelope falls together with the paper, a silver ring comes out; rolling a bit before it drops down beside the paper. And not too far away from the ring, a pocket watch is cradled by the wet, soft grass, showing the two hands at 12. The other thin stick-like is together with the two hands, not moving at all from the position as if it is mechanically made that way.

The roar of the thunder echoes around, seemingly to mock him, laugh at his misery. The leaves dance a bit, swaying as if like an apology, the wind murmurs their apology and sympathy and everything seems to pity him except for the thunder who mocks him.

 

Luhan shifts his gaze to the watch, and he felt his world crashing down on him all together.

 

Time has stopped.

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时间停止-Shíjiān tíngzhǐ-Time Stops

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"Unspoken grief of waiting, the fateful string severes and the ticking clock stops."

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I tried. I swear.

/hides to the place in earth that never existed/