Chapter 38: Close Distance

[The Final Beginning 1.1]

Yixing/Lay

It’s been awhile since Suho last visited him. It was 3 days ago and his private nurse hasn’t come still then. And Yixing wonders why but at the same he knew the answers to the questions he held in his mind, because he knew Suho is the victim of all these tangled events. Even though he hadn’t stepped out of the hospital since he was carried in, Yixing wasn’t dumb nor was he uneducated with these kind of things. He was taught, given everything a normal child could have, but there are a lot of differences between the interactions with the outside world than in the hospital. Lacked in many things, Yixing still understands, pieces the puzzle and learns like others.

So when it came to his parents, Joonmyeon or Suho and other things, he was capable of handling it. The problem with his parents, he didn’t really paid much attention to it since it was something not worth thinking about. Regarding about Suho, Yixing pretty much have all the pieces together, but some pieces are missing, though.

Sehun’s been taking care of him, small talks and smiles were made, but it’s different. The way Suho takes care of him is different from the way Sehun takes care of him. He feels happy, satisfied and contented with Suho, feeling the warm secure, comfort and having the feeling of being important in someone’s life. Yixing thinks everything up to the point he had with Suho is a lie, a fabricated lie, but he doesn’t mind.

An unexpected visitor came in the name of Daehyun, saying things about Suho’s life and somehow, that day, Yixing felt light and happy, knowing the truth behind Suho’s life. It may be preposterous for someone to dictate another’s life, but Yixing is okay with it, because sooner or later the said life of that person will tell him soon.

Yixing…who is Yixing? And who is Lay? Joonmyeon…who is Joonmyeon? And who is Suho? Are they different from one another? Who are they? Yixing…Lay; Joonmyeon and Suho. Two personas are one after all. Their birth name is the past while the latter is the present, but one cannot hide his identity forever for the past will always come back.

Lay…is he Lay? Yes, but he is also Yixing. Yixing is from the tragic past as Lay is the healing present. Suho…is he Suho? Yes, and he is the guy whom he loves. It was easy to figure it out, his feelings, because often his father would tell him about love and its signs. Since the day he saw Suho, he knew he likes the nurse and as days passed, he slowly grew in love with the older. Suho has it all, had everything he yearned for and gave him surprises of life and everything. And seeing his smile was enough to make his heart race.

But what about Joonmyeon? Joonmyeon is the past and also the lover of his sister. Coincidence or not, but everything he had now had tied him and left him hurting, baffled and dumbfounded.

Life is such a cruel game, huh?

---

Opening his eyes slowly, Yixing saw black then came a small light then blue, looked on the right and saw himself at a garden and a young boy crouched near a bush, playing with a certain flower, so young and naive. He quietly approaches him, crouching down and eyeing the young brunette. The kid plays so merrily, smiling so bright at the world, holding a beautiful flower that looks so frail, yet so beautiful. He opens his mouth and tells something to the brunette, who turned his attention towards him and Yixing smiles, patting the kid’s head and taking the small hand in his, clasping it ever so gently, before he pats it for awhile and whispers to him before he lets go of the hand and gave a last smile.

The kid smiles at him, all too familiar, gentle and sweet, before standing up and runs over to a young man in a lab coat, smile were on their faces. Yixing stands up, eyeing the man and child. The kid turns his head around for one last time and Yixing waves his hand before closing his eyes and he opens them again and met with the all too familiar white ceiling.

He casts his eyes at the window and it was night, was he sleeping too long? He doesn’t know. Yixing gazes at the nightstand, eyeing the flowers that are almost wilted. He sits up, feeling his aching body crack up a bit before he lets his eyes fall on his room. It’s the same--empty and cold just like 3 days ago and he snickers at the irony.

He silently wishes for some air and freedom, thinking his father, Ji and Suho. Suho never left his mind once and he couldn’t stop that no matter what he wants. A knock resonated and it caught Lay’s attention, focusing his attention towards the door and saw a young man enters. He blankly gazes at the man who approaches without hesitation and care. The latter halts in front of him and silently they gaze at each other for some time before Yixing blinks.

“Zhang Yixing?”

Yixing blinks at him, showing his confusion before he slowly nods his head, answering the man’s question. The latter smiled widely and Yixing thinks the smile is nice but wonders who this is. As if knowing the man replied, “It’s me. Your childhood friend, Kris.”

---

Joonmyeon/Suho

“You can’t ignore him forever, Dr. Suho,” Sehun tells him, a meter away from where he stood.

Suho’s identity has been out since the last time Yixing’s parents came. News broke out, but many were not disturbed by it for they knew but a little shock to the patients that Suho took care of, but they came to accept it.

Suho sighs deeply, so long and frustrated. The office is dark, the moon’s light lighting up the room a bit. The collision of the dark and the cold rips the reality too much as it becomes the dream; a horrible nightmare that lives in Suho’s heart.

3 days since he last saw Lay and today is the fourth. It may be cruel as he thinks of it; his actions, but it wasn’t his choice to begin with and he was just going with the flow. He distances himself, just as he thought it would be good for the both of them. He didn’t hate the younger, no, that’s not it. He just took some time off, to think things through before he proceeds on because if not, he might be lost.

He already made an appointment with the Zhangs, telling a specific date for them to meet up. He doesn’t know what Dir. Xing has in mind but he had a dreading feeling that something is up.

Ji is his past as to where Joonmyeon became the past also and Suho is the healing present. He concealed his true name to close the hurtful past and move on. But as the present comes, the past reopens and everything shatters. He tried so hard to close the past and now it comes back and he doesn’t know what to do anymore and to make it worse, Ji and Lay are siblings.

Lay…Lay…no. He shouldn’t call him that anymore. It’s supposed to be Yixing now. Yixing…he’s a good guy, young, innocent and beautiful. He held no grudge against him nor did he think any negative about him, not even once. Recalling about Dir. Xing’s words, it’s true that Yixing hasn’t got to do anything with this and he agrees with it. Even if Yixing has their blood, he doesn’t mind. Because his heart tells him what to do now and not his mind.

Sighing deeply once again, Suho closes his eyes as Sehun speak.

“He needs you, Suho hyung. He needs you.”

Gritting his teeth for awhile, he loosens up as he opens his eyes and met with the rain outside.

“I know. I know.”

Chanyeol's POV

Truth to be told, this isn't what I had in my mind. Things shouldn't be this way at all, but for some reason it has.

Who am I? I'm Chanyeol. Park Chanyeol. But who is Park Chanyeol? That...I don't know.

I'm someone...who is so lost and confused. But that's not entirely true, half, maybe, but it's up to you whether to believe it or not. Chanyeol...Chanyeol...Chanyeol. I'm Chanyeol at the same time I'm not. Why? That's up to you to figure out.

Life is only a false game with false hope. You shouldn't even trust it because it is not even worth trusting, I tell you. Life is full of fabricated lies, misery and grief. How do I know this? Because I've experience it. I went through it all, well maybe not the hardest of the hardest, but I almost tasted death thrice. Enough? Good.

My life isn't that much of a complex. It's really simple, really. My life is like a recorder, goes on and on, absorbs everything then...stop. Simple, isn't it? No? Too bad. I'm merely a guy with friends, in and out, brewing with coffee and lovely deserts with a melody of a piano in some days.

If you're wondering, I'm not hearing the piano now so often now like I used to. I feel a bit out without hearing the piano, but for some reason, I'm doing okay without it for awhile. I've been accompanying Baekhyun hyung for some time now. Trying to let him recover his own voice. We're not doing it without the consent of the doctor, of course. We've consulted first and we were given the permission to try.

I've taken him out to some places, the cafe, the ice cream cafe, park, greenhouse, meadow and other places. We've tried several times, but there were no progress at all, but that was my thought until now. I went to the doctor of Baekhyun's without hyung by my side, just to let the doctor know our progress. I've let him know everything and it turned out that we were actually having some progress, after all. The pained gasps and harsh, groggy breath shows a sign of progress as to where there is a sign of sound.

The doctor, named Dr. Liu, told me that his brain nerves must be reacting, a bit, but a good sign, then he told me that I should give him a rest also, not to force him too much, because it might damage the nerves than recover. It was a good sign, I felt happy and definitely overjoyed by the fact that we were making a progress at last and was wondering how much progress we could have if we would continue it more.

I had some plans in my mind, already planned out what kind of tests we would try. I've told Baekhyun hyung all of it, the things we would do and the news and he had tears in his eyes and turned around and I knew he was overjoyed with the news. He treats me with pork belly and beef stew, sometimes fried rice or Italian pasta then partnered with ice cream tub covered by my expenses. Sometimes, after the lessons we had, we would go out or stay out until the night and I would talk some things then let our presence comfort each other before I drop him in his house.

It's nice to have him around, the sweet and comforting smile, those crescent eyes when he smiles and laugh and those eyes; those eyes that seems so soulful and endearing. The lingering gazes and touches, how am I suppose to function right? I'm pretty much sure that I don't have any feelings for him, but why does my heart races whenever he smiles? Whenever his eyes lit up with excitement and joy when he sees me? Why?

Tell me. Am I falling for him?

That's impossible be-

"Chanyeol."

I look up and my eyes gaze with those familiar eyes and I inwardly sighed. What does she want now?

"What is it Ying?" I ask with boredom lingering in my voice. Her lips pursed for a bit and takes a sit across me before resting her arms on the table and rested her chin on the back of her hand. Oh, right. I'm at Baekhyun hyung's cafe, waiting for him to finish whatever he has to finish.

She smiles at me in force and I had to roll my eyes, because why is she wasting my time?

"Spill it out."

She stared at me hardly before she gazes down at the table which caused me to incline in curiousity and confusion. What is she doing?

"I...I'm sorry," she started and I snickered.

"If you're going to apologize, I don't need it. Thank you, but you may leave," I retorted with the utmost annoyed voice I have, because I don't want to deal with it at all. She still gazes at the table as if it is the most interesting thing in the world and I had to suppress myself from rolling my eyes.

"What is it?" I asked again. She had something to say and I know it. I'm not that dumb not to know. She wouldn't meet me for no reason at all. I already had a rough night three days ago, when Jongin suddenly dropped the bomb on me all of a sudden then made me out of it for two days. I only recovered yesterday and is trying to catch up with Baekhyun hyung now and then she comes. What is life trying to do with me?

She painfully looks up to me and my heart momentarily stops when I saw the emotions that lingered deep in her eyes. Slowly, she removed her other hand that wasn't supporting her chin before her arm reaches out and her hand stops a few inches away from my face, her hand moving sideways and my heart pounds as she puts her arm down.

"Ying..." I muttered under my breath, teeth gritting as she heard it all.

"Did my brother tell you? All of it?" I asked, wanting to hear her answers even though I already know, but I at least wanted to know, because I have to. She gazes at me in sympathy and I grit my teeth more, because the thing that I hated more is being sympathized.

"Tell me." It turned out to be a small growl and I was a bit surprised by my action, but when I looked at her; she wasn't fazed at all. She still looked at me in sympathy. I closed my eyes for a second, trying to calm my nerves before I open my eyes and look at her in plead and anger.

"Leave," I whispered, a bit desperate and pleading. She sighs before nodding her head and took her leave without a word. I slumped back, feeling suddenly exhausted. Is this what she came for? To let me know?

I took deep breaths, to feel my lungs work again and my heart to pound again because suddenly, I felt it all lost, that it all stopped when she did that. It wasn't my choice. It never was.

I felt a presence at my side and I gazed sideways and saw Baekhyun with a worried look on his face. How long was he at my side?

"Hyung? How...how long are you standing there?"

"Just now."

I inwardly sighed in relief and put up a smile in front of him, trying to forget what happened awhile ago and focus at him more.

"Ah, then, shall we go?"

He stared at me for awhile, and our eyes held at each other, a bit enchanting and hypnotizing before he nods his head and took a head start. I stared at him as he walk away and I know that the way our eyes met, I knew he wanted to tell or ask me something, but hadn't gotten the courage to do so.

I stared at him for awhile before he stops and turns to look at me, eyes questioning and confused and I stood up and walked towards him.

Myungsoo & Sungyeol

"Sungyeol?" Myungsoo calls out as he opens the door. His eyes fall on the bed and he saw the love of his life, reading a book, concentrated and focused too much. He secretly laughs at him and wonders how Sungyeol managed to block everything out including him when he is reading a book.

He quietly tiptoes in, closing the door quietly as he could and stood by the side of the bed. Smiling playfully at himself, he bends his body and quickly he closes the book that Sungyeol was focused on by his hand that caused Sungyeol to jump in shock, a gasp emitting out from his lips.

He looks at his side and with a knowing look, he playfully punches Myungsoo's side.

"Yah! What do you think you're doing?" he playfully asks, a smile playing on his lips.

Myungsoo smiles at him and hands him a bouquet of flower that caught him in surprise.

"For you, my princess."

"Cut it, Myungsoo!"

"Oh, is my princess mad?"

"Myungsoo, stop," Sungyeol said threateningly, but Myungso smirks at him.

"What is it, princess?" he taunts for the last time and his face met with the flowers.

"How are you?" Myungsoo asks in concern, hands patting Sungyeol's thin, yet beautiful hand. It's a bit cold and he tries to warm it up as he could do so. Sungyeol smiles at his worry and concern and gazes at the window at the side. Myungsoo watches him silently, admiring the man that he loves so much that seems so close yet so far away.

"How's the band?" the taller of the two asks, not answering his question. He lets it slip and decided to answer instead.

"It's quite doing well. Chanyeol is doing a great job, but he is much less for some weeks now. Do you have any idea?"

Sungyeol smiles, a knowing smile and Myungsoo knows he's correct.

"Yeah, he's with our boss. Spending his time with him almost every day and Ailee or I would sometimes bother them to keep them chill out," Sungyeol utters out and in the corner of his eyes, he could almost see Myungsoo's face darken a bit.

"Boss, huh?" He heard Myungsoo mutter to himself and for some reason, Sungyeol was glad to be born with sharp hearing senses. He turns his attention towards Myungsoo, reaching out for Myungsoo's hair and gently caresses it with tender and affection. Caught in surprise by first, Myungsoo soon let himself incline towards Sungyeol, laying his head at the bed and letting Sungyeol caress his hair more as he felt light and secure.

"Sungyeol..." he calls out to him and the latter hummed in response.

"You'll stay by my side, right?" Myungsoo says, effects of half-asleep and half-conscious. Sungyeol smiles at his question sadly, and gently plays with Myungsoo's hair.

"Yeah. I am."

Sehun & Luhan

"Hey, Woohyun hyung."

"Hmm?"

"Do you think I'm going to meet him again?"

"Of course! Why does your sentence seems to doubt it?"

"Oh...it's not that. Did it come off that way?"

"Yeah. Didn't I tell you before? Keep up your faith on him. He'll find you, if he is here, though."

A sad smile graces on Sehun's lips.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Lay hyung?" he calls out as he enters the room and saw the said male sleeping on the bed peacefully. He enters the room and approached the older, stopping in front of the bed. He looks at Lay for awhile and felt the tiredness from the older. So tired and pained. He already had a talk with Suho, but why does it seems to be that the older is not taking heed of his words? He knows that he is younger and all, but he has a point in what he is trying to say to his boss.

Lay really does need him. Why? Because they talked about it. He learned from Lay everything, everything from the start and how he feels for Suho. He doesn't want to pry, but he at least tried to help, to let them reconcile or whatever, just to have them together side by side again.

But seeing Lay's condition and frame, he looks thinner and paler than before and Sehun turns around and saw the room. So cold, empty and lonely. He gazes back at the sleeping boy, so peacefully sleeping yet hurting in the inside. He wishes to help, but he wasn't the type to pry into someone's life and never did he had any thought of doing that, but he hopes that Lay and Suho would be back again, that everything would be back to normal, because it's painful to see them apart.

He takes a few steps backwards before he turns around and takes his leave but not before saying, "Have a good sleep, hyung."

The once cold, empty and dark room became dim.

He tells Suho off again and the latter just nodded it off and it left Sehun sighing because it won't work at all unless Suho makes a move. He left the older in his office and walks away from the room. As he was walking away, a familiar voice rang on his ear which makes him turn in surprise.

"Dr. Daehyun," he mutters under his breath, as the said man walks towards him with a cheeky smile, a lollipop in his mouth. The doctor pulls it out, his lips first before he speaks, "Hello there, Nurse Oh."

"Um, hi," he greets back timidly and Daehyun puffs his cheek for awhile, before a wide smile forms on his face.

"Do you have anything to do now?" the doctor asks and it caught the younger in surprise, because why is the doctor asking him that? Not wanting to sound rude, he politely answered, "Um, yes. I do have. I have to do a round check up with the patients in Floor 8th then my shift is finish before I go to my next job."

Daehyun nods his head understandingly, popping the lollipop back in his mouth.

"Ohh," he says with the lollipop still inside his mouth. He took it out, his hand reaching for his pocket and took something out and all of a sudden, Sehun tastes a familiar sweetness. He looks at Daehyun confusingly and the doctor smiles at him.

"Loosen up, boy. You looks stressed and all. Come on, change your clothes and go to your next job. I'll handle the 8th floor."

Sehun stares at him in surprise, before he takes out the lollipop from his mouth and panicky says, "No! It's okay! I ca-," he was cut off.

"Nu-uh. Go. I could handle it, I tell you. I'll tell Suho for you. Don't even dare try to say another word of any forms of rejection or else," Daehyun threateningly says and Sehun has to gulp because the way the doctor's eyes darken; it pretty seems bad if he will disobey. So he just nods his head and pops the lollipop back to his mouth.

Daehyun smiles at him suddenly, patting his head.

"Good boy. Now go!" he barks and quickly, Sehun scurries off and Daehyun has to stop himself from laughing. He plops the lollipop back in his mouth and turns away.

"Such a pity he is suffering."

"Yah! Take care of him, Kris!" Luhan yells at them and Tao blushes as Kris nods his head before the two enters the car. Luhan releases a sigh as he watched the car leave. He was outside his hotel, sending his precious Tao safely to Kris and making sure that Kris not to do anything to his precious Tao. He makes some friendly threats to the younger of the two and Kris promises him.

Surely enough that he is assured, he sends them off and by chance Luhan felt a sudden feeling of loneliness. He doesn't work at Jongdae's cafe now, but some times when the said male is not there. Jongdae doesn't let him work anymore and for some reason he wonders why, but he came to accept it and let himself go in the cafe when Jongdae is not there.

He smacks his face a bit, trying to get the negative feeling away before a thought pops up.

"Ah! I should visit Kyungsoo. I should also buy new flowers for my vase." With that in thought, he quickly ran downstairs and jogged his way to Kyungsoo's flower shop.

Sehun places the pot of anemone at the front desk, on top of the books that leveled with the cash register. Dusting off his hands, Kyungsoo came out with beautifully wrapped bouquets of baby blue hue and viridian. Amazed at the wrappings, Sehun takes a look at the bouquets and admired it.

"I really admire you, Kyungsoo hyung. Your level of wrapping bouquets are completely different from mine and wow. I'm just amazed at how you did it with simple wrappings," Sehun praised highly to Kyungsoo and the older has to put up a warm smile, appreciating and accepting his praise. He mouths a 'thank you' as a reply.

Kyungsoo takes a paper from the drawer, writes on it and gives it to the younger. Sehun takes the paper from him and reads it, before he nods his head.

"34th street and the one near the hospital that I'm working, right?" Sehun asks for confirmation and Kyungsoo nods, telling him that he got it right. Kyungsoo motioned for the hair, putting his hands behind his back and Sehun understood. Quickly taking a tie from his pocket, he quickly tied his almost long hair.

He has been keeping his hair long for some time now. Letting his short hair grow to long and somehow, he liked it. It has been a habit to comb his hair and tie it and sometimes he forgets and Suho and Kyungsoo plus Jongin would tell him off to tie his long hair on the back. His hair isn't really that long, but passed his shoulders may be the measure.

Now had his hair tied, Sehun takes the bouquets from the desk and left.

Carrying a paper bag, Luhan took a liberty to stop by at Jongdae's cafe and order some deserts and drinks for Kyungsoo and his staff. He takes his time walking to Kyungsoo's flower shop, looking around when he glances at Kyungsoo's flower shop and saw a young man with a long hair tied on his back leave the place. Thinking that it is nothing, Luhan hurries up his steps to Kyungsoo's.

"Thanks for the flowers, Kyungsoo! You're the best!" Luhan cheerily says and the younger smiles at him widely.

"No problem, Luhan hyung."

Smiling at the doe-eyed boy, Luhan noticed the anemone and somehow, he felt attracted to it. Dazedly, he reached out to the pot, his fingers touching the petals of the anemone, feeling the smooth texture of the flower and for some reason, his heart ached.

"Kyungsoo..." he calls out and Kyungsoo looked at him. Eyeing the anemone, he whispered-asked.

"What is this flower called?"

Kyungsoo blinked at his question, before he takes out a sticky note and writes on it. Handing the sticky note to Luhan, the older boy takes it and reads what is on it.

Anemone

Anemone. What a beautiful name, he thought. Quickly pocketing it, Luhan takes one last lingering at the flower before he gives Kyungsoo a one more thanks and left the place as to where he had to attend a meeting.

Kyungsoo blinks, wondering what happened to Luhan, but soon pushed it back when he felt a sudden vibrate in his pocket. Taking it out, he takes a look at the message.

Let's meet at the bus station. I'll take you somewhere today.

Feeling a slight warm on his cheeks, Kyungsoo bit his lip, and replied back.

Okay, I'll meet you when Sehun comes back from the errand I gave him.

Pocketing his phone, Kyungsoo fanned himself and shortly, the bell rang on his ears and saw Sehun is back.

He formed an 'okay' question and Sehun grinned, putting up an okay sign.

"Got it, hyung."

Sehun gives the payments to him and Kyungsoo took the liberty to put the cash in the register. Closing the drawer, Kyungsoo hands over the keys to Sehun, who caught it with confusion. Kyungsoo didn't say anything and after a few seconds, Sehun understood it.

"Oh. Meeting Jongin?"

Kyungsoo nods his head timidly and Sehun has to hide his smile.

"Have fun, hyung."

Blushing, Kyungsoo punched his arm weakly before the older boy goes to his office, to calm himself and probably change his clothes and pack his things to meet up with Jongin.

Standing behind the desk, Sehun takes a look at the pot of anemone, suddenly attracted to it by its enchanting colours.

"Anemone, huh?" Sehun mutters under his breath. Staring at it for awhile, Sehun suddenly remembers something.

"Hey, Luhan hyung!" Sehun calls out excitedly to Luhan, who was taking pictures of the flowers from the sides. Luhan approaches him with a hum after halting beside him.

"Check this out, hyung!"

"That's a nice flower," he says, holding up his camera and takes a picture of it. Aftre taking the shot, Luhan takes a look at the shot and he hums at the nice shot.

"The colors of the flower is pretty and pretty much enchanting," he commented and Sehun sadly smiles. Crouching, he caresses the petals of the flower.

"Yeah, but the flower...it's simply pitying."

Luhan looks at him surprisingly, but didn't ask why.

"What is the name?"

Sehun smiles a bit.

"Anemone."

"Luhan hyung..."

They missed again.

Kris & Tao

After being told by Luhan, Kris took Tao to a rural place, the fascination of the younger ever so amused to Kris. The older had something in mind and surely Tao knows that, but he pushes it in the back of his mind and appreciates the fresh air from the countryside.

It took them 2 hours and 45 minutes to arrive at their destination when Kris stopped near a seemingly like house, after passing the long through forest of trees that looks so beautiful and enchanting and very refreshing. They stepped out of the car, and Tao looked around in awe for he had never had the experience to have a trip like this.

For some reason, their chats and company in cafes and parks had turned into trips from there and there. Of course, it has never left Luhan's sight for the older always remind him to be careful so that he'll never get hurt in any way. And there's something that bothered Tao for some time now. Luhan had told him one night to never trust Kris nor fall for him or any or so.

It bothers Tao, because he wonders why. Luhan and Kris are friends, so that means they trust each other, yet why did the older told him not to trust Kris, if so, why did he let him be with Kris today? He doesn't understand why, but he hopes to understand soon, because it somehow, hooked into his heart and mind.

"Tao."

Kris' voice lingers in his ears as he looked at him with surprise. The older seems to have been concerned over him.

"Are you okay?"

Tao nods his head quickly, showing that he is fine. Kris seems not to be convinced, but decided to let it go.

"Let's go," he says and the two started to walk.

Tao looked around him, fascinated and looked at everything in awe. They were walking through the majestic garden of what seems like from the royalties, bushes of dragons, phoenix, serpent, scorpion, beast and others, woods carved with intricate symbols and markings, flowers of different rare and colors beautified the place.

There's a fountain in the middle of the garden and because of awe and excitement, Tao run his way there, leaving behind a proud and amused Kris behind. Tao jumped in glee as he arrived, taking a hand of water, so clear and transparent. Even though he is rich and all, he had never experience to go through a beautiful and majestic garden like this. Yes, he had went through several, but never to somewhere like this.

Overjoyed, he turned around to Kris, who had arrived in time behind him, with a pleasant and warm smile, showing his appreciation to the creation of the garden and it caught Kris' heart in loop, feeling a familiar race in his chest. Not wanting to show it, Kris smiled back to make an effort to suppress and forget the racing heart.

"Do you like the place?" he asks. Tao doesn't need to be told twice so he immediately nodded his head, showing how much he liked the place. Everything was beautiful and how much the thought is to have this kind of place is his; it would definitely be perfect. Kris lovingly liked that Tao liked the place, made his heart swell in affection and warmth.

He watches Tao run off to another direction and found that the younger found the most exquisite place of all. Smiling at himself, he walks over to the younger.

Tao's POV

Wow. Who knew that this garden is so big! I mean way 'big'. Really. Wow. How could Kris hyung find such a beautiful place like this? I mean, the rare flowers of rare hues and type, the bushes of different cuttings, woods of intricate symbols and marking and the fountain! Wow, the water is clear and transparent and definitely the fresh as I've seen and the water seems like feather, so light.

I was playing with the water of the fountain when I saw spark of light at the side. I took a glance and saw nothing, but I heard something that made me run towards to the side. The thought of leaving Kris hyung left me for a moment for my focus was the other side of the bush and trees. As I run, I found myself standing at a bridge.

A beautiful glistening river below the bridge; bridge a meter too low and fishes with lilies plays along the river. Trees were in different season and everything was in display of paradise. I was loss of words, my feet intact on the bridge as I stood amazed and dumbfounded at the wonderful sight. It was all unexplainable and I couldn't even describe it in words; it even surpasses the word gorgeous.

I felt a presence walking behind me and I turned around and met with a all too familiar warm smile. I felt my glimmer in affection and somehow I felt all of it as a romantic pace.

My heart seems to race for some reason and I wonder why. Kris hyung is only smiling at me, but why does my heart race as if I like him? No. Tao. You can't like him! I mean, how could I fall in love whom I only met for some months now? That's just preposterous!

When I felt a presence halt in front of me, my heart pounded. What is this? I didn't notice that I had my head down all of this time, so I looked up, met with those enchanting and beautiful pair of brown orbs that made my heart melt. Time seems to stop on its own, as I felt of big warm hands on the side of my head, my lips meeting with a pair of soft ones and I let my eyes close; my heart calming down as if this is meant to happen.

Jongdae & Minseok

Time seems to slip by as the the clock's hands wound up to a stop. Scars of the heart never seemed to be healed under the breeze of time, but Jongdae lets it be. Let time moves on while he remains incline with the past, surrounding him, never letting it go.

"Jongdae. Jongdae. JONGDAE!"

"Huh? What?" Jongdae turns to Sungmin in surprise and in shock, wondering what's up. Sungmin had a worried look on his face and if he looked at the others, he could see all of them had a worried faces. He was making dough, but now...oh.

The dough had flattened out already and the quality has decreased by the over force he applied. He looked at the bowl of dough in daze, wondering how it ended that way.

"Jongdae..." Sungmin calls out to him and he turns to him with confusion spread on his face, questioning yet in daze.

"Why don't you sit this down? You could come back tomorrow, when you are well enough," Sungmin says to him, and he doesn't understand any. He doesn't hear anything for some reason, but he make out the words and he understood some, but it all seems so wrong.

"No. No, I'm okay. I...I'm okay," he replies, a bit out of breath, but a sense of relief washes over him when he delivered the words. Sungmin and Eunhyuk looks at him worriedly and so are the others, too. They didn't want to pry anymore, so they made a small bow and a rekindle of a small 'okay' before they got back to work.

Jongdae turned back to his bowl, dumping the ruined dough to the bin, and taking another set of dough. He tries to focus this time, to try to make things right.

Humming a song, Jongdae puts the cold rice on the pan, mixing it with ham, corn, carrots and peas. He saute it for awhile, before turning off the fire. Quickly, placing it on a plate, Jongdae served the fried rice on the table as Kyungsoo places the utensils and plates on the table.

Finishing a quick prayer, the two brothers ate to their heart contents, smiles on their faces as they eat their dinner. Halfway eating, Jongdae felt his phone vibrate against his jeans. Stopping his eating, Jongdae excuses himself from the dining room and took the call in the living room.

"Hello?" he greets.

"Jongdae..."

Jongdae felt his heart pound at the call of his name. Not wanting to answer anymore and feeling his stomach churn, Jongdae was opt to end the call, when his name was called over again, pleading and in desperation to not end the call and to hear him out.

He feels his heart races in moving time and he sighs silently and takes the call outside, just to make sure it's safe. Words stuck in throat, and with trembling lips, he replied,

"Yes, hyung?" It was a whisper, uncomfortable and trembling. The line was silent at first, but the next thing Jongdae heard was a sob. A pained sob.

"Jongdae, Jongdae, Jongdae," Minseok calls out his name like a mantra, each name accompanied with terrible pained sobs that seems to be held in for a long time and Jongdae's heart ached. Taking a sit on the porch, Jongdae tries to maintain his breathing, trying to let his heart calm down.

"Jongdae..." Desperate was Minseok voice, "please, please, forgive me. Please." He was asking forgiveness.

Jongdae didn't answer, but rather hear everything that Minseok wants to tell him, for he had already assumed that Minseok was drunk and had decided to call him.

"Forgive me, Jongdae. I'm sorry. So, so sorry for everything. I didn't mean to hurt you like this. To give you scars intentionally, I'm so sorry, Jongdae. I'm sorry for give you scars that you didn't deserve, broken love and false hope. I really love you, Jongdae. Before until now, I still do. I never once didn't love you, for every single moment and seconds, I love you for everything."

A pause.

"I love you Jongdae. Forever will until I die. I'm so sorry for everything that I've done to you and maybe, you think that this is all a joke, but it's not, Jongdae. It's not. This is not me talking, but my heart. Please give me one more chance, Jongdae. One last chance to fix everything. Please, please, one more chance to have you back and your heart. Please. I love you, Jongdae."

Silence envelopes them, pained yet seems to be comforting. Silent, warm tears rolls down to his cheeks, flowing so beautifully, yet so pained. Eyes red and stinging in pain, Jongdae suppresses a sob, biting back a whimper, not wanting to give in, to succumb to the lies he had heard enough.

It was hard, everything was hard, seeing, breathing, everything. His heart ached more than ever with those words, words that seems so true and sincere, yet he wants to believe those as fabricated lies, just to hurt him again for the sake of nothing just to play. Those words were truly sorry, sincere and true, as his heart and mind told him together for once. That Minseok regretted everything he had done to him and that the older wants him back, but Jongdae fights it off, reasons out that the memories were engraved and couldn't be forgotten no matter what and his heart is scarred for several times that it needs to rest and heal.

Two souls kept its silence and Jongdae is so lost and confused on what to do, so he did that best thing to do, to say.

"I'm sorry."

And he ends the calls.

Pulling up his legs together to his chest, wrapping his two arms around his legs, Jongdae buries his head on his knees, crying over for Minseok and him.

The next day, he found himself at his bed, neatly covered with his blanket, eyes staring at the ceiling and he knew that he had fell asleep at the porch and that Kyungsoo had taken him inside and had tucked him in his bed.

His heart seems empty and a part of him seems to be taken away.

It was four nights ago and that night hasn't left his mind since then and had affected his work severely, much of like today as the dough was ruined. He focuses on the dough, trying to block out those desperate and pained voice of Minseok from his ears, but as he focuses more, blocking it more, the more he hears it loud and clear.

He throws the kneaded dough on the table, breathing hard and rough. He takes a moment to regain his breath, gulping air for his lungs and focuses on the dough again, kneading it swiftly and easily. Kneading it just enough, he takes small portions, rolling it and forming different shapes from the dough.

Finishing it all, Jongdae takes a brush of melted butter, brushing it on top of the dough after applying it all with different flavors and jams. He places the tray in the oven, placing a little cup of water at the near door of the oven before he closes it and lets time produce the bread.

"I'm sorry, Jongdae...I'm so sorry."

Shutting his eyes tight, Jongdae calms himself down, balled fists trembling as he breathes out, calming everything down.

"I have to work. To keep everything out," he says to himself and quickly moves to the next task on the hand, to block everything and to forget.

Minseok serves the customers today, not working in the kitchen for he wasn't on the mood to cook nor bake. His world seems to fall last four nights ago when he was drunk. He remembers the day after that night, that he had a terrible and the worst hangover he could ever get in his life. He remembers every last detail that is to remember that night, calling up Jongdae, asking for forgiveness and asking for one more chance. He was hoping, even in a drunk state, he was still hoping that Jongdae would hear him out, hear his plea and give him one more chance. But it didn't turn out that way. All he heard was a whisper of 'sorry' before the call ends.

It was bitter. Too bitter and harsh. He felt a knife on his heart, pierced heavily to make him know that this is reality and not a dream nor a nightmare that he had wished for. It hurts. Everything hurts and he wonders if this even the level of pain that Jongdae experienced.

Hollow and dry laughter escapes his lips under the windy breeze, as stinging tears left his tightly closed eyes. It was too unbearable, all too unbearable to have and endure.

Serving with cups and brews of coffee, desserts on the row of sweets and pastries, Minseok serves the customers well, a forced smile blooming beautifully on his face, showing it up as a genuine and not fake. Hushes of murmurs, giggles, squeals and praises rounds the cafe, but Minseok doesn't hear any, for his heart and mind were wounded heavily to even hear and exert any feelings.

Giving the orders to the kitchen, he leaves without a word and it caused several worried glances between head and sous-chefs and patisserie. Donghae and Kyuhyun exchanging looks as they worriedly glance at their boss' condition and frame. They knew that something is up, that something had triggered him to be like this, as if the end had been triggered that his soul seems to left the vessel.

They didn't pry, not wanting to disturb him, to make matters worse and continue to work in the kitchen, to substitute Minseok in the kitchen for they were needed as to be Minseok as one.

Serving the customers with gentle and small, shy smiles, Minseok takes the liberty to make the drinks, to at least do something besides taking orders and giving the orders from and to the customers. All seems okay as he pours lemon and lime mojito as the drinks, cold and hot coffee for the breeze and shakes of sweet lime and jams were the day's drink.

He takes a break, after serving mostly all of the customers of the cafe, taking a good rest in his office as he scans the list of bills he has to pay, lists of orders for delivery and parties and other heavy papers.

"I'm sorry."

Silent tears flows out from his eyes, papers long gone to the table for he was holding nothing but air and nothing. His heart ached in broken pain, of false hope and severed love.

"I'm so sorry..."

Eunhyuk, Donghae, Sungmin & Kyuhyun

"You know...our bosses isn't hanging on very well. In fact, they look like an overused dough. Sticky and low in quality," Sungmin utters to them, their silent gazes looking down in acknowledgement. Sungmin called them all out, for a break and talk because they need it. Even though he doesn't want to call out Donghae and Kyuhyun, he has to, because they are also Minseok's closest employees just like Eunhyuk and him.

Now here they are, ordered some breads and drinks in some other cafe to avoid having a ruckus in both cafes. Sungmin took a first blunt statement, which they weren't faze for they knew that Sungmin was always a blunt person. They look down, knowing well what he is talking about. Jongdae and Minseok have been in distraught and disoriented for the past few years, always have been. Both were hurting so much that they avoided each other and let time stop between them. It was out of control, they thought, their minds becoming one as they have thought that Jongdae is the problem in the relationship.

But who are they to judge for they don't even know what really happened? As far as they know, that Minseok did something terrible to Jongdae that caused the younger to have a bitter and painful life. That Jongdae may have ben scarred several times that he doesn't even want to have face with Minseok, that he doesn't even want the older's company nor shadow at all.

Sighs and groans left their lips, feeling a familiar headache coming through from all the thinking of their boss's problems.

"Wait," Eunhyuk says all of a sudden after he took a sip from his punch. The other three turned their attentions towards him and wondered what he is trying to say. Eunhyuk furrowed his eyebrows as a form that he was thinking hard, that made them incline in curiosity as to why he is thinking hard.

"What's the matter Hyuk?" Donghae asks in worry.

"Ah, right. Why are we talking about them again?" he asks and earned himself numerous blinks. The others nodded their head in understanding, realization breaking down to them as to why indeed they are talking about their boss problem.

"Right. So what shall we talk about?" Kyuhyun started with a worry smile. Sungmin sighs, because he never thought their conversation would end like this.

"Guys, I didn't call you here for nothing. I called all of you because we need to help them at least in every possible way," Sungmin says, eyeing them for any reaction that they might possess and thankfully, none haven't.

"So what are your suggestions, genius?" Kyuhyun boredly asks, completely unimpressed by Sungmin's act of virtue toward their bosses. Sungmin glared at him momentarily before he cleared his throat.

"So what I'm trying to say is that we should let both of them reconcile by either telling them off or setting up some accident," Sungmin suggested to the best of his abilities and Kyuhyun scoffs when immediately he yelped.

Eunhyuk and Donghae turned to him in confusion and Kyuhyun stabbingly glared at Sungmin who smiled innocently at them, putting more precious on Kyuhyun's feet than normal.

"So what do you suggest bird-brain?" Sungmin gritted out with a smile. Kyuhyun sneered at him before pulling out his foot from Sungmin's hover. He gritted his teeth for awhile before he clears his throat.

"So here's my suggestion. We should at least tell them off to at least have them a thought or we could either set them up a date or so."

Sungmin face-palmed himself while Eunhyuk and Donghae secretly smiled which left Kyuhyun into bafflement.

"What?"

Sungmin snickered, "Bird-brain."

Kyungsoo's POV

Aish, that Sehun, really! Couldn't he be more quiet than teasing me about Jongin? Seriously, that boy! I should really teach him a lesson sometimes, a good lecture about proper respect to someone who's older than you. Jongin and I were just having lessons like Chanyeol and Baekhyun, not like as if we were doing different things. Sheesh.

I gripped on my shoulder bag, pouting as I hang my head low from what had happened earlier as I walk my way to the bus station after texting Jongin that I'm on the way. Sehun's remark is really frustrating, his words as if imprinted on my mind forever. Ugh, I'll never forgive him. Letting out a sigh, I look up and noticed that I am already near the bus station. From afar, I try to locate for any tanned boy and seemingly, he doesn't seem to be there.

I arrived at the bus station such early that I didn't expect. I sat on the bench and waited for Jongin to come, watching the buses and cars pass by, the people walking pass the station and boarding the bus. It seems all natural for them, but seems to hard for me. I've lived a norml life like them, did that and those everyday, yet it wasn't enough. Always. Everyday seems so incomplete, cannot grasp the main reality at all even if you have almost everything, yet it wasn't still enough.

I let out a sigh and as expected no sound, but as I've thought of it, sometimes, there was a sound when I let a sigh, a sound of something that I didn't know. Was it my voice? May be or may be not. I never knew what my voice sounds like, never knew how it should suppose to sound like. I somehow feel incomplete, feeling that I'm missing a part of me.

I look around again, to sight if Jongin is anywhere, but it seems the younger is not yet here. I looked at my watch and noticed that I've been waiting for half an hour already. I took another look and decided that I should buy some food for us, to at least replenish our hunger.

--

After buying some foods, I went back to the bus station and Jongin isn't still there. Where is he, anyway? I got back to my post on the bench and waited for him to come, just like we agreed to. He's going to come, right?

10...20...30 minutes had passed and Jongin still hasn't come yet. I strained my neck from looking both sides, in front also and at the back, but there was no sign. I let out a sigh, then suddenly I felt my heart pound for some reason, my breath becoming shorter than before and before I knew it, I was grasping for air.

No. It can't be. Please. No.

5 yr-old Kyungsoo sat on the bench of the bus station, waiting for his parents to come and pick him up. He has been waiting for an hour now and there are still no sign of them. He lets out a sigh, pouting after and swings his legs. He pulled his jacket closer to him, feeling the criptic cold penetrate through and to his skin.

He looks at each sides, left right, front and back, but there were still no sign of them. He closes his eyes as he lets out another sigh and opens them after when he hear a familiar siren of what it seems to be an ambulance and fire truck. Kyungsoo looks up and watches numerous fire trucks and ambulances passes by the cold night-afternoon.

He furrows his eyebrows, feeling the curiosity swallows him. He wondered what it is about, but then decided to never mind about it, that it is not his business.

I stood up, feeling my head light as I felt my heart pound against my chest, telling me to move, but I stayed in my position. I believe in Jongin. He'll come, just like he told so, because it is what we had agreed to. He's going to come and I know it. My heart and mind tells me otherwise, but I believe that he'll come, because it's him. It's Jongin.

I gasp for air and felt my legs weaken, my whole body turning slowly to limp. Jongin. Where are you?

--

"Hyung!" I slowly opened my eyes, wheezed for air as I look at him. I looked at my waist and found his arm wrapped strongly to held me up and his other hand at my arm. I smiled waekly at him, my heart easing down as my mind clears out.

He helped me stand up and held me for a moment before I gave him a signal that I'll be able to support myself. He slowly pulls away his arm and hand, as if something may happened that he may catch up before it's too late. I stomped on the ground for a bit to feel my legs before gazing at him qith a questioning look. He laughs nervously and bows.

"Sorry, hyung. I'm sorry if I'm late. I just got a surprise at home and I didn't notice the time. I'm really sorry!"

I looked around and noticed that some people are staring and I felt embarrassed by it. I tapped his back, signalling that he should stop. He looked at me with an apologetic stare and I softly smiled at him, understanding his reason why and that I accepted it. He furrows his eyebrows showing his doubt and I grinned and held two thumbs up.

He chuckled, eyes turning crescent and I felt my heart race. I ignored my racing heart and tilted my head as I listened to him where we are going.

"Thanks, hyung. Well, I got some good places up for us to try and since I'm bored at Seoul already, do you want us to go to the countryside? Or do you want near the ocean? Or do you prefer to a field of flowers?"

I blinked at him and his suggestions to where we are going. He looked at me with those sparkling eyes, waiting for my answer. I bit my lip as I try to pick what is nice and likely the best of all. As I tried to think hard what to choose, I decided that I let Jongin choose to where we will go today. I shook my head, forming an 'X' by my hands and pointed at him.
He raised an eyebrow at me before he smiled and nodded his head.

"Okay, hyung. I'll choose. Come on."

I smiled and he returned my smile with a clasp of hand with mine and pulled me to the bus.

Jongin's POV

I was ready to go, anxious and excited to see Kyungsoo hyung. I had everything prepared, money, wallet and location to where we are going. I was ready to leave my room when Sehun texted me.

Don't go too far, Jongin. And seriously, don't do anything to him, okay?

Bastard. Really. I'm not a sadist like he thinks so. That idiot. I shook my head and got the keys and left my room. As I trudge down the stairs, the front door of the house opens and I froze at the last foot of the stairs, energy gradually draining out of me.

I in a sharp air, my eyes staring at the person who came inside nonchantly as if he did nothing. I felt my body stiff like ice as he removes his shoes, comes inside and spotted me. A wash of relief spreading in my heart as I saw that nothing change, that he is still the same.

"Jongin." That voice...how I miss that voice.

"Taemin hyung," I whispered, feeling my throat suddenly itchy and hoarse. He walks his way towards me and I only stare as he halts in front of me and I felt every last of energy drain away from me as I felt the air is caught in my throat, finding my lover so beautiful and perfect still in front of me after a long time that he hasn't come home.

"Hyung," I whispered to him, yearning and desparate. Then I felt my energy was replaced by anger, bottled anger that was kept sealed off for a long time. I gritted my teeth as I hit him with my balled fists, hard and pained as I hit him in the chest.

"Why?! Why are you only here now? Why did you even come back?"

"Jongin..."

"Screw you, hyung! You left me, never bothered to come back or even call me. Is that even hard to do? Call me? To let me know if you're okay? Why didn't you even call? Because you're busy with work? it, hyung," I spat bitterly to him. He looks at me with those sad eyes, apologetic and I felt my anger rise. I hit him several time, the anger seeping out as my heart ached as painful and warm tears flow out from my eyes as my hits became weaker and weaker.

I felt my body pulled into an embrace and Taemin's hand patting my back as my legs gave out from the lack of energy and we dropped to the floor as my tears continue to flow out.

"Why didn't you even bother? Why? Didn't you even think once that someone is worrying for you at home? That I, your boyfriend is worrying for you? Didn't you even think of that?"

I was in pain. My heart is in pain. Taemin never called nor bothered to come back home to even let me see his face nor voice. He left with his usual phrase of 'because of work'. It was sickening. So sickening that I decided to spend my time outside, to block him out and the pain that continues to stir in my heart.

I've spent my time with Kyungsoo hyung, helping him in regaining his voice and it was worth it. So worth it that I decided to spent most of my time with him rather than staying at home after my dance practice. I was ready to accept the fact that Taemin isn't going to return ever, that he was merely a storm that passed by and messed up my life, but then it came to this.

He appeared.

He ing appeared.

Hah.

It's funny, so funny that it hurts. My throat dries up as I continued to cry, my eyes stinging in pain as I give up hitting him, all of my body turning limp as Taemin continue to pat my back, comforting me. Hah. That's not even going to work.

And I, the brave Kim Jongin, decided to save the relationship. Really pathetic. Really. He asked, more of like begged in my terms, to forgive him. That he never meant to hurt me like I have thought so. He never intended to, but his work was really heavy and he couldn't leave his office all together because the next day, another heavy paper works would be given.

I knew he was lying. But I it up and decided to play along. Be the brave Kim Jongin I am and decided to forgive him. Just to save the relationship and my heart. When he got my answer, he smiled sadly and a tear slipped out and he wipes it off. And I tried so hard not to laugh at him in mockery and in disbelief. A show. A fake drama. How annoying.

He gives me a peck in the lips and pulls me into a hug, whispering a 'thank you' to my ear and I silently sighed. He pulls away, showing his bright smile.

"Since I'm free from work, I'm finally home Jongin. What do you want for dinner later?" Taemin asked and I put up a tight smile. I stood up, smoothing out the crease in my shirt. I cleared my throat and looks at his expecting eyes.

"I'm not going to be home for dinner, hyung. I'm going to be late. So don't bother. You could cook for yourself or order, I don't care," I replied bitterly at him and I didn't even regret my tone. His smile falters and he looks at me with questioning and sad eyes.

"You're going to be late? Oh...okay then. I...where are you going by the way?" he asks and I turn away from him, to avoid myself from wavering.

"To meet up with someone. In Busan. Instructor Jo told me to come there," I lied smoothly. My voice didn't break, thankfully and I'm almost certain that he was disappointed, but it was for the best. I'm not yet ready to see him.

"Oh, okay then. Be safe, Jongin."

"Yeah."

I left the house without even turning back at him and take one last look. When I'm finally outside, I let a deep sigh, my heart aching still and the tears threatening to spill out. I held it in, swallowed back it all and close my eyes as I block him from my thoughts.

I open my eyes once again and takes a look at my phone. When I saw the time, curses escapes my lips. . I'm late! Kyungsoo hyung is sure to have been waiting for me since an hour and half ago already! I panicked and run my way towards the bus station with the best I can.

I arrived, finally. I easily spotted Kyungsoo hyung at the bus station and a smile spreads on my face. I strode my way towards him when I suddenly run my way towards him when I saw him collapsing. Just in time, I let out a sigh of relief when I caught him just in time, before he even falls.

"Hyung!" I call out his name and slowly I watch his eyes flutter open and I noticed the recognition of me. I helped him stand up properly, supported him when he gave me a look that he could do it. I didn't want to let go, afraid that he might fall when I release, but I decided that I shouldn't be selfish and slowly pulled away my arm and hand that supports him, careful and slow just in case he might fall.

He stomped his feet on the ground for a few times before gazing at me with questioning eyes. I laughed nervously, thinking of a smooth lie to come up with.

"Sorry, hyung. I'm sorry if I'm late. I just got a surprise at home and I didn't notice the time. I'm really sorry!"

Well, lying is not a good point, so I guess this is fair enough and I wish he would accept it. He looks around and flushed in red and pats me to tell me stop. I gave him an apologetic stare and he smiled at me in response and held up two thumbs up when I doubted it.

I chuckled in response, feeling my heart race and I decided to block it as I go on with my plan.

"Thanks, hyung. Well, I got some good places up for us to try and since I'm bored at Seoul already, do you want us to go to the countryside? Or do you want near the ocean? Or do you prefer to a field of flowers?"

Kyungsoo hyung blinks at me and hangs his head low for a moment, probably thinking on what location he should choose. I waited patiently and soon, he looks at me, shook his head and formed an 'X' and pointed at me.

I raised an eyebrow, before letting out smile and nodded my head in understanding.

"Okay, hyung. I'll choose. Come on."

Okay. Since he doesn't want to choose, I'll just go with the one in my mind for now. I clasped my hand with his, feeling my heart race and pulled him with me.

Jongin & Kyungsoo

"Hyung," Jongin calls out to him and Kyungsoo looks at him with a questioning look. Jongin bit his lips, patting his thigh for a second before he speaks again.

"Hyung, if someone who is dear to you goes away and leaves you broken and confused then that someone comes back happy and dandy, apologizes for his mistakes and brought surprises and all...should one be happy?"

Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows, before he looks down and give it a thought. If someone would leave you then come back happy and dandy, apologizes for his mistake...truly should one be happy? Kyungsoo closes his eyes and shakes his head before gazing back to Jongin who gave him a small smile.

"Really then? Hah. That's great. I guess you're right. One shouldn't be happy at all." And even though Jongin smiled, Kyungsoo took notice that it wasn't the usual smile, almost as if it sad. Sad over somethig not right.

He takes Jongin's hand that caught the younger startled. Jongin chuckles away, shaking his head and puts up a smile.

"I'm okay, hyung. Don't worry," Jongin reassures the older boy, telling him that he is okay and shouldn't worry about him. Although Jongin may have said that and that Kyungsoo nodded to let it go, the older still worried for the younger.

They arrived and Kyungsoo grinned as he knew where they are. He took a head start letting Jongin chuckle at his hyun from behind. He shakes his head, thinking of how much fun they'll have later.

Jongin follows Kyungsoo's footsteps with warm and casual steps, amused and a smile painting his face as he watched Kyungsoo drop by to every place that seems so exotic and interesting. He watches the older boy's eyes lit up in awe and joy whenever he would spot things and the way his lips pull up into a beautiful smile that seems to make his heart race.

Jongin shaked his head with his smile still plastered on his face and strode his way to Kyungsoo's side who had himself stucked on the grounf in front of what it seems like a carnival booth of cotton candy. He halts beside the older and takes a good look of the booth and nodded as a form of acknowledgement of the design constructed for the cotton candy booth.

"It looks nice," he compliments and Kyungsoo nods his head, eyes still staring at the cotton candy booth, specifically at the figurine ferris wheel that has cotton candy settled on each seat and in Kyungsoo's eyes, it looks very fascinating indeed. While in Jongin's eyes, it looks cool, not really fascinating, but cool and he acknowledges that. He stares at his hyung and grins as he pulls away his gaze.

While Kyungsoo's attention is focused on the ferris wheel, Jongin had bought themselves some cotton candy. Kyungsoo looked at him in surprise, his doe-eyes widening a bit and Jongin beamed him a smile.

"Here you go, hyung. Got one for myself." Jongin handed him a all too familiar bouquet that looks like for flowers, but this time instead of flowers, the wrap had it donned with cotton candy. Kyungsoo gazed at him, sending Jongin a ridiculed look.

"A bouquet of cotton candy? Really, Jongin?"

Kyungsoo knows that he should be offended by it, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to be insulted by it when he sees Jongin with his soft smile that melts it all away. It was similar as of like Joonmyeon, but it's different. Because Joonmyeon is Joonmyeon while Jongin is Jongin.

Kyungsoo shaked his head, his lips curling up into a smile and when Jongin saw that smile, he could feel his smile grow wider and decided to take shot of the cotton candy.

"It's sweet." He hummed and clasped his hand with Kyungsoo, who looked at him with a surprise look and the younger just grinned at him.

"Let's go."

Jongin practically was smiling from ear to ear as if he was proud, proud that he was able to make his hyung happy. He watches from behind, watching Kyungsoo look at the fishes in awe that continued to swim away and passes by. The look on Kyungsoo's face show how much he is delighted to see the fishes and Jongin wondered if Kyungsoo ever went to an aquarium before.

Surely, he had done so, right? Because from what he had from the older, Joonmyeon and him had their dates also and surely so, that Joonmyeon must have taken him to an aquarium during their dates, right? But when he stares at Kyungsoo's delighted and awed face, he thinks otherwise from his questions.

He strode towards the doe-eyed boy and halts beside him, leaned closer to the glass of the aquarium and smiles.
"Hyung, try expressing you awe into sounds," Jongin instructed and Kyungsoo pursed his lips, thinking or probably hesitating, but decided to try. Kyungsoo closes his eyes to collect himself. He opens his eyes and foolishly looked at the fish in awe and he parts his lips open and Jongin stares right ahead, wishing that it'll work somehow.

As expected it comes out a sigh, but Jongin recognize the gasp of an air and the subtle sound it makes and a fall of smile paints his face. He takes a glance at Kyungsoo and reconized in the eyes the determination it wants to have a progress and he chuckles under his breath. Kyungsoo strolls around, leaving for a moment in the back of his mind about their lesson and proceeded on enjoying his time in the aquarium.

Jongin follows behind, a good meaure away to not to disturb the older's time and also a measure away enough to hear any subtle sound that the older produces when he parts his lips when his eyes caught any thing that is interesting and cool. It was a nice sight and Jongin felt relieved that Kyungsoo is having fun and that is all that matters. He finds it quite simple and quite suffocating for Kyungsoo that is always stuck in the flower shop and he even wonders if the older goes to school and then, he decided that it would be much better if they would get some fresh air and have view of life outside.

His ears perked up and Jongin broke from his train of thoughts and wondered if he wasn't delusioning or something. Kyungsoo turned to him with a furrowed eyebrow and beady eyes and Jongin knew he wasn't mistaken.

It was a sound.

Clear and precise.

It was Kyungsoo's voice.

They ended their stroll-lesson in the aquarium and decided to have dinner in a cafe down the road. The cozy and warm cafe inviting them left a smile on their faces as they took their sit. Jongin played with sphaghetti for awhile, collecting his thoughts as Kyungsoo slurped down his sphaghetti and a satisified smile painted his face. Jongin took a glance at him and smiled, turning the fork and takes a bite.

"Hey, hyung," he calls out and gained the attention of the older. He looks down and decided to continue.

"Hyung...you never told me the real reason why you were mute. All you told me is that you are mute, but I wonder what is the cause of it? You said that you never knew how you sound like, so that means you were born mute, hyung?" The question has been nagging him for so long. Kyungsoo told him everything about his life, okay, maybe not all, but he never told the reason as to why he is mute. He may have the conclusion of Kyungsoo being born mute, but he wants to beg to differ. That he doesn't want to cling into hope that doesn't exist in the first place.

The doctor, Kyungsoo's hope and yearn completely overrides the conclusion of being born mute, but the contradiction lies as to where Kyungsoo told him that he never knew how his voice sounds like. It was confusing and head-breaking, but Jongin wants to try to help the older, to regain his voice back.

Kyungsoo looks at him, before he lets out a sigh, strangled and grasping and Jongin almost flinched by it, but nevertheless relieved that they are getting some progress. Kyungsoo who always brings a sticky note and pen with him, takes it out and wrote on it as Jongin waits for his answer. When Kyungsoo is done, the older slids the paper to him and Jongin reads it.

"The reason? I'm not born mute, Jongin and you might have concluded that. I'm not, okay? I just...I'm normal. Like others. Lived a normal life until I was five. My world broke down and the trauma wouldn't be easily forgotten, Jongin. Never ever will. No one knew, even the closest friends I had. My brother and you only know. Now. Tell me. What are your other questions, because I'm willing to tell you right now."

Somehow, Jongin feels guilty, because he never knew it would turn out this way. The look on Kyungsoo's face and the crispy, heavy words that are imprinted on the baby blue hue note weighs his heart and the sudden realization broke down on him, hard and rough.

"I-I...I'm sorry, hyung," he apologizes and Kyungsoo shakes his head, taking the paper back, wrote on it and slids the paper back to him.

"It's okay. You deserve to know and you'll probably have to know someday. It's better you know early to drop out any confusion and doubts."

Jongin looks down, heaving out a sigh then nodded his head, understanding the older's words.

"I guess you're right, hyung."

"So are there any question?"

"Questions?" Kyungsoo nodded his head, a small smile on his face and Jongin tries to think on what to ask to the older. Then something came over him, the question that came off like a pop.

"Hyung," he starts and Kyungsoo looks at him expectingly, "did, Joonmyeon hyung took you to the aquarium when you were on your dates?" And Jongin wants to sew his mouth for that. He didn't mean to pry like that, but it just happens so and he hopes that the older wouldn't think of him as a nosy brat.

Kyungsoo blinks and Jongin couldn't decipher his look and started to worry.

"I-I, no I'm, hyung, it-" he stops when Kyungsoo slips another note to him.

"No. He never brought me to the aquarium and we usually stay at his house or the cafe. I guess, you're the first to bring me to the aquarium. Thank you, by the way."

Jongin feels his face heat up from the words and feels his heart race and for some reason, relieved. Kyungsoo smiles at his reaction and takes a sip on his hot chocolate.

This is going to be a great night.

Baekhyun's POV

There's something wrong and I know it.

The look on Chanyeol's eyes when he looked at the girl. The way he spoke his words with anger clothed in hushed whisper. The way his face expressed a shock when the girl waved her hand in front of his face. The way his face contorted into anger when the girl lowered her hand. And the way the girl looked at him with lingering emotions before she left.

There's something wrong and I know it.

I've been watching them from afar and I wonder what's wrong, what the girl is trying to say and what had caused Chanyeol to be like that. I had never seen him angry before, the look on his eyes that spoke anger, yet defeated. It was evident when I looked at his eyes, when we held our gazes and I saw those defeated and grieving emotions that lingered in his eyes. There's something going on and I wonder what it is, and I felt the panic that Chanyeol had when he asked if I was standing too long at the side.

I could have said the truth, but sensing the panic, I lied for his sake, but somehow, I knew that he knew that I lied for his sake and sensed that I wanted to ask him about something, but never got the courage to do so.

We were out and Chanyeol lead me to the old train of the past, telling me that he wanted me to feel the ancient crisp of the past. Giving the tickets to the lady in charge, we sat down at the last body of the train and the last row on the right. I picked the seat near the window as Chanyeol took his sit beside me.

I was nervous at the same time, troubled. I was troubled by the event that happened awhile ago, my yearn to know what happened. I wanted to help Chanyeol in whatever problem he has, I want to, because...I...wait. Why do I want to help him?

"Hyung," he calls and I look at him and he smiled. He pointed at the side and I shifted my gaze outside and noticed that we were already moving, that we already started the journey. I looked back at him and he was staring ahead, a small smile on his face.

"Stop thinking and enjoy the view outside, hyung. Stop looking so troubled," he utters and I look away and feeling the heat cool up my face. I didn't know that he was observing me.

Minutes passed as I watch the view outside, the graze of sun ray's lifting the colours bright and in the air, I smell a familiar aroma, an aroma of flowers. I watched in awe as we passed by bundles and speckled bushes with flowers and a wide smile lifts up on my face.

--

We have been journeying for an hour already and we have an hour and half left before we settle down in our destination. I was looking outside, shifting my gaze to my fingers as I played with it when I felt a weight on my shoulder that I blinked, and slowly turned my gaze to my side. Chanyeol's head was on my shoulder and I figured that he fell asleep on the way. Despite the height difference that we have, Chanyeol was able to place his head on my shoulder due to that he had his body slumped down a good measure where his head is as the same height as mine.

I smiled a bit, my heart racing for some matter and I wonder why. I never knew why, but I always have my heart racing for some matter. I gaze at his sleeping form and my smile grew wider. For some matter, I knew now. Why I want to help him. It may be the reason because he seems so lost, so broken and needs someone to carry half of his pain. I know that he has been experiencing pain, from the look of his eyes and the way he speaks. It's so low, hushed and almost careful as if he is worried that it may break or that it may be because he was carrying it all, swallowed it up and didn't bother to release the emotions that he held on all together for all these years.

I wanted to help him, to at least take some pieces of his burden so that he can breathe. That he could at least be himself at all, because he doesn't seem real. As if he was limiting himself, preventing to show all of his sides to me, as if he is afraid or sealed it away to protect himself from pain.

I want to help him with all I can, as his hyung and friend.

--

We have only half an hour left as they have announced it from the speaker. Chanyeol woke up from it, groaned and slowly pulled his head away from my shoulder, my head flushed up and a breathe of relief escaping my lips. He yawns a bit and apologizes to me when he realized what had happened. I nodded my head, telling him that it is okay and he hummed.

I let out a sigh and looked down, playing with my fingers again to throw out my boredom when Chanyeol, all of a sudden, took my hand and clasped it with his. I looked at him in shock and he just smiled at me childishly.

"You kept playing with your fingers and I grew jealous. So I took your hand and clasped it with mine, telling you that you could play or rest and lay comfort in my hand."

I feel the heat burn my face at his words and he chuckled. I bit my lips and looked away, tugging my hand away and he chuckled once more.

"You won't be able to remove it, hyung. We're linked forever, so you can't take your hand away from me."

I almost died by his words and probably dead if I even heard his last word which I'm sure it is 'ever'. Oh gosh! The nerve of him. I fanned myself, trying to keep things calm and cool. He kept chuckling and I ignored it, kept fanning myself to cool the heat down.

After some time, we settled down into a comfortable silence and I felt calm and peaceful at the comfortable silence as we bathe each other with our presence. I suddenly felt the feeling to lay my head down and I did so, laying my head on Chanyeol's shoulder and I felt my heart race when I did so. Chanyeol didn't say anything, but let me so and I smiled, and let myself lull in the comfortable silence.

--

I woke up from my nap, a very short nap, when Chanyeol tugged our clasped hand. I looked at him, blinked a few times to clear out the blur. He was smiling and pointed at something and I wondered what it is. I followed where he was pointing at and the haze in my mind vanishes as I scooted closer the window and look outside in awe.

It's the ocean! I watch as the wave crashes together, the fast run as they race then crash. We were at the top and is almost close to the destination as I have concluded it.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I heard Chanyeol say and I nod in response, agreeing at what he is saying. The ocean is wide and clearly is beautiful, reflecting too much of the deep and the sky and I marvelled at the waves as they crash together.

As I continue to watch outside, the train came to a halt and I snapped my head to the front and saw that the people are standing as I heard from afar that we have arrived in our destination. I looked at Chanyeol and he softly smiled at me and tugged our clasped hand.

"Let's go. We arrived."

I followed him and stare at our hands before gazing at his back and I softly smiled, my heart racing for some matter as I hurried my steps to catch up with his long stride.

Chanyeol & Beakhyun

They went up through what it seems the forest from high up, treading up through the trees and bushes as beams of limited sun ray's shows the path for them. Chanyeol had Baekhyun's hand clasped with him still, linked and seemingly not letting go as if he is afraid that Baekhyun would be lost, as if the older would leave him alone if he didn't keep a secure tight on his hand. They tread through, spotting speckled bushes with different wild flowers, the shade of the trees covering them from the heat as they trudge along the seemingly long and rough way.

Along the way, Chanyeol tries to pursue their lesson, to let Baekhyun have a gasp of sound and let Baekhyun know what it sounds like in his ears and let him known that it is music. Baekhyun tries, raspy and raggy gasps comes out from his lips and Baekhyun feels a bit dispirited by it, but Chanyeol encourages him that it is okay, that they'll have a new progress soon enough.

"Come on. Let's try again," Chanyeol says encouragingly and Baekhyun pursed his lips and nodded his head, trying once again. He tries for a few more times, trying to grasp any sound, but it turns out to the same choking gasps of breath. And Chanyeol says it's okay, that they'll try again later, that he should have a rest first, to let his throat calm down from the stretched and forced execution.

They climbed up in silence and Chanyeol tugs their clasped hands, as if signalling that they are close to wherever they were going. They hurried their steps up, careful still, but hurried. When they reached their destination, Baekhyun realized that they were on top of the cliff, above and seeing the sky high above and almost within the reach.

He wants to go to the edge, but Chanyeol tugs him somewhere else and he follows. They stop near a tree at the side, a big one and seemingly a different one from the others. Baekhyun watches Chanyeol puts a hand on the trunk of the tree, smiling sadly as he traces something on the trunk. He turns to Baekhyun and slightly tugs him forward. Baekhyun stands by his side, and looks at Chanyeol quizically and the younger smiles at him. Chanyeol slowly unclasps their hands, pulling away slowly and left his side, leaving a confused Baekhyun in front of the tree.

Baekhyun turns his gaze away from Chanyeol, taking a closer look at the tree that seems to be ordinary and nothing wrong. He takes a good look from top to bottom then he spotted something, right at the middle, light traces of carvings on the trunk barely noticeable. He takes a step closer, lifting his hand up and traces the light carvings on the trees and tries to make out the words.

Forever and ever we'll be together
- C & B

Shock sunk down on him, drowning and choking him when his head feels light and a slip of tiny and hushed whimper left his lips as he takes a step back. He doesn't know what is going on and definitely things are getting more trivial than ever as he have concluded it. Baekhyun turns to Chanyeol, who sat at the edge of the cliff, watching the landscape before him.

Baekhyun felt light, confused and dizzy from what all had happened as he dazedly takes a sit beside Chanyeol, dropping his feet over the edge and tries to find comfort on the grass, letting the lull of the wind to play a dance along to whizz up his mind. Chanyeol stares ahead, kept his silence and Baekhyun wonders when he is going to say something.

Time passed in a whisk and Baekhyun was still dazed, memories reoccur throughout his mind while they stayed in their silence. Flashbacks of what it seems like the past plays in his mind and reflects in his sight, playing and reminding him of something.

"What are you doing?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm just writing something."

"Using a stick? Do you think it'll work?"

"Of course! Well...not entirely, but somehow, it will. Even for the lightest carve, I'm already satisfied as long I have it carved down."

--

"Hey, Baekhyun! Look here!" a young boy shouted at him loudly, causing him to almost stumble in his footing. From the distance, they could hear their parents telling them to be careful.

Baekhyun collected his steps back again and went beside the younger and punched him in the hardest way he could and the younger yelped in pain and questioningly looked at him.

"What did I do?!" the younger shrieked and Baekhyun punched him again, this time a bit weak than before.

"Shut up. You almost made me trip, you idiot. Now what do you want to show me?" Baekhyun mumbled angrily and the younger pouted, but childishly smiled at him. He turns his head towards the big tree and pointed at the trunk and Baekhyun almost thought that the younger is going crazy.

"No, no! Look here, hyung!" the brunette told him as he pointed at one direction and Baekhyun had t squint his eyes to see what is on it and when he spotted it, his eyes widened in surprise, a gasp emitting out from lips.

"You..." He was lost of words on what to say for what the trunk portrays a carving of a promise, a sole promise that they'll keep in their hearts forever. The brunette had it carved down on the trunk of the tree and wrote their initials at the bottom of the promise, to remind them of the fateful day where they embedded their promise, where their promise is true and never would be forgotten even if one would forget it by time.

"Forever and ever we'll be together, right Baekhyun hyung?"

"Let me tell you a story, hyung," Chanyeol says and Baekhyun turns to him, dazed and seemingly lost, but has his ears still for Chanyeol.

"It's about two boys, who were inseperable. They considered each other as best friends even if they didn't know each other a long time. They were inseperable, did everything together and helped each other in every times and never left each other sides."

Baekhyun tilts his head in the side, gaining his attention back and focusing it to Chanyeol, who was telling him a story.

"They promised each other, it was there compact. To never leave each other, but..." Chanyeol chuckles that caused Baekhyun to wonder why he is chuckling, "but then, one day, the oldest of the two left...he left the younger all alone, without even saying farewell and broke his promise."

Chanyeol laughs, hushed and limited then, Baekhyun realized that he wasn't laughing at all, but was crying. The tears seems more louder than the laugh of the dull. Baekhyun wanted to know what happened to him, why he is crying and what he is hiding.

"Forever and ever we'll be together, huh?"

Baekhyun looks at him in surprise, the final words ringing in his ears and mind together. He looks at Chanyeol, eyes hazy as the recollection of the memory shifts, crashing everything together as a tear slipped out from his eye.

"Forever and ever we'll be together, right Baekhyun hyung?"

Chanyeol turns to him, a worried expression suddenly sketched on his face when he saw the tear rolls down to Baekhyun's cheek. He wiped off his tears hastily by the sleeve of his shirt before he scooted closer to him, his hand over Baekhyun's hand that was resting on the grass as he worriedly look at the older.

"Hyung," Chanyeol worriedly calls out his name and Baekhyun seemed to snap from his reverie as he looked at Chanyeol as a tear flow down from his other eye.

"Chanyeol," he mouths his name and Chanyeol feels his heart race. They held their gazes and Baekhyun gave him an unreadable expression as he closed his eyes and shook his head, tears spilling out when he closed his eyes. Chanyeol felt helpless all of a sudden, confused and troubled by his actions.

"Hyung." He grips the older's hand on the grass, and Baekhyun blinks his eyes open, blinks back away the tears and wipes off the tears from his cheeks by the back of his hand before he gazes at Chanyeol with a weak smile.

"I'm okay."

The younger's heart settled down all of a sudden, gripping the older's hand still and giving a nod and a small smile.

Sehun & Luhan

Luhan finishes his meeting at last, and he feels drained from it all. The meeting had took all of his energy and he swears he wasn't going to attend any meetings ever again and let his secretary do the work. He trudge down to his own room with head hanged too low than usual and he feels annoyed at the constant pain in his back. 5 hours in the meeting definitely had his back bend in pain for sitting up straight.

He falls down to his bed, gladly sighing in delight from the softness of the bed. He feels the exhaustion of his body ease up a bit, letting a comfortable sigh leaves his lips. He turns his body to the side, closing his eyes in the process, trying to claim some sleep. But as he do so, he can't seem to claim any sleep at all, as if something was nagging at him to be awake.

Tossing his body from side to side, Luhan growls in frustration for not being able to claim some sleep at all. Sitting up, he ruffles his hair, exhaling out heavily. He gazes at the side and stared at his vase. Newly fresh picked flowers he got from Kyungsoo's shop was tucked in the beautiful carved vase, deeply complimenting it very well.

He remembers the name of the flower: Anemone. A common, yet familiar name. He tries to remember how he had come to know the name, and why it sounds so awfully familiar to him. He shakes his head, head aching from trying too hard to think where had came across with the name.

He lets his body fall to his bed again, letting the softness of the bed embrace his aching body. He closes his eyes again and lets himself dwell into darkness. An image screens in the darkness, showing a familiar view. It was the man he saw hours ago from Kyungsoo's shop. He remembers the long hair that swayed gently at the back of the man, so smooth and almost beautiful.

It was familiar, the back. The man feels familiar and Luhan feels that he knows the man, but doubts and unreasonable questions claims him, telling him that it is ridiculous to know a man that he hasn't even seen face to face.

Slowly fluttering his eyes open, Luhan felt his exhaustion completely drained out. His heart pounded for some reason, and it was something not to be excused for. He knew that something is up with that man that his heart is pounding like this. So he sits up again, stretching his back and feeling some bones crack up.

Taking his coat that he threw carelessly in the couch, he sets off to Kyungsoo's flower shop again, wondering if he could see him again and check out if he is an employee of Kyungsoo or merely a customer.

--

Sehun sets down the final pot to the shelf, taking a step back and admiringly gazes at the beautiful flowers that occupied the shelf. He smiles, nodding to himself and telling himself that he did a great job.

Taking off his gloves, Sehun places them back to the small box and sets the box down to the storage room. He takes a double look in every room, checking if the lights are off and no cords are plugged in except for the nursy room for plants to keep them a bit moist. He also double checks if the back exit is tighty closed, the windows and ventilations. When everything is checked, he smiles a bit, turning off the lights from the main and goes out.

Locking it up tightly like he is always told to, Sehun pockets the keys and takes one more look at the shop before he takes his leave. He thought that he'll stop by at the bread shop first to have himself a snack and probably send Jongin some, too.

--

Luhan arrives at Kyungsoo's flower shop, breathing out and perspiring heavily while in suit. He grasps for air and looks at the closed flower shop and curses himself for forgetting that Kyungsoo closes his shop at night. But deep inside, he wishes that it was open, hoping to see the man with a long hair, to at least calm his nerves.

He inhales and exhales, grasping for thin air and eventually soon, he regains it all. He shakes his head, trying to tell himself not to delude such things. That he is merely mistaken and shouldn't get attach to it at all.

He hears his phone rings, and he takes it out and reads the message.

From: Panda Tao

Ge. Could you buy me some bread? Please.

And Luhan wonders what happened to the younger. That as if he was pleading because of something. He feels suddenly concerned for the younger and tells himself that he'll talk with him later. Huffing out, Luhan takes one more look at the flower shop and sets off the bread shop.

--

Sehun ties his hair in a ponytail style, to ease his nape from itchiness and hotness. He wears a cap, turn it opposite ways and let himself set foot inside the bread shop. It was definitely hot, even if it is night and Sehun thinks that it might be because of his hair, but it doesn't gave him a choice to cut his hair, though.

He takes a look at each bread, trying to find what looks tasty and find what suited Jongin's taste also. He takes some spice and sweet, loading it to his basket, some loaves and wheat. Thinking that it is enough, he sets for the counter, taking it out all and let the cashier man takes the rest of the work.

After paying, he decided to stay for a sweet dessert and drink that the bread shop has for a display. He takes a sit on one of the tables, and waits for the food to come.

Luhan comes in, suit still tucked in like he just got out of business. He huffs out, feeling the tightness and hotness of the tie that is slowly choking him up. He loosens it out with a good measure and takes a basket from the side and took his time picking out Tao's favorite breads and also his.

He took few of spice and more of sweet breads, quenching Tao and his taste definitely. He smiles, thinking of how good they taste later. He takes out the bread and gives it to the cashier man before taking out his wallet and gets out some bills.

After paying for the breads, the cashier man offered him to try their new delight and Luhan took a moment before he agrees, wanting to try their new delight and how sweetly he craves for it. He bows a bit and smiles and tries to find a place where to sit. He takes a sit behind a rather odd looking person. The person had a broad back, mostly referring to a man but has a long hair that reflects too much of a girl. He can't figure it much, but decides that it wasn't his business to deal with. Shrugging it off, Luhan places the plastic at the side of the table and decides to text Tao that he'll be late a bit.

Sehun texted Jongin, that he'll come by to his place later, that he had something for him and that he has to prepare a hot chocolate for him when he comes by. Sending it to his cousin, Sehun pockets his phone and was greeted by an employee who smiled at him and sets his food down. He smiles back, bowing a bit before the employee leaves his side. Taking a look at the delight, he sees it very sweet and definitely fascinating that it looks so worth it to buy. But to prove it that it is worth it, he tries the cake, feeling the soft foam crash with the sweet caramel and chocolate and exploding like a minty-strawberry and blueberry. It was definitely new, exotic and definitely worth to have.

He smiles, thinking that he should buy one for Jongin, too. Thinking that the older might like it also. Nodding his head, Sehun takes another bite and he smiles at the sweetness.

Luhan's delight arrived not too soon, and when tasted it, he felt that he was going to melt from all the sweetness. He smiled at the taste, definitely loving it and deciding that he should have this everyday. He thought of Tao, and decided to buy one for the younger, thinking that the younger would like it like he does so. Taking another bite, Luhan feels the sweet caramel melt with goo of sweet vanilla and chocolate filling up his crave and he smiles.

--

Sehun finishes his delight first, satisfied and happy. The same employee came over awhile ago while he was midway eating, asking if he needs anything else. He tells her that he would like to have another one, but this time for take-out. The employee left him with a smile and he resumes eating, that he often smiles about after taking a bite.

He stays in his seat, waiting for his take-out to arrive as he takes a sip on his cool shake, feeling the cool feeling slide down to his throat then to his chest.

Luhan finishes his food all together, feeling satisifed and happy. He takes his plastic bag and goes to the counter and orders for the same delight he had, but this time for take-out. He waits patiently at the side and sometimes, takes a look at the breads that he passed by before and thought of buying them next time.

Sehun's take-out arrived first, the employee bowing to him and telling him to come back again. He smiles and pays her for the take-out. He takes out his phone and texted Jongin that he's on the way before pocketing it.

Luhan's take-out finally arrived and he thanked the cashier man who handed it to him. He turns and before he takes his leave, he turns at the odd person that he decided to name. He tilts his head to the side a bit, before he shakes his head and takes his leave. Sehun stands up, taking the plastic bag and the paper box in his hands. He bows to the cashier man and takes his leave, promising himself to go here often and buy that delight more often.

--

Their orders were switched up.

Jongdae & Minseok

Jongdae sighs. It's almost night and he decided to leave his cafe for awhile, let Sungmin and Eunhyuk handle it after their whatsoever called 'break'. He doesn't even want to know what they are talking about, because clearly, he knew it was him with those questioning and worried eyes of theirs. He just shrugged it out and told them that he'll take a rest and that they should do their best for tonight for the mistress will come and have her fun.

Leaving the cafe to them, Jongdae strode down the road, tired and almost breathless. For the past few nights, his breath seems to be more shorter than before, ragged and definitely choking. He doesn't know why, but he thinks that his time will soon be up and he laughs at the conclusion.

Passing by a small shed of flower shop, Jongdae sees beautiful embroidered flowers and images of the past resurfaces in his mind.

Jongdae smiles widely, a bouquet of flower in his hands. He wanted to give Minseok a gift, for being such a sweetheart for the past few weeks after their reconcilation and having him known that Minseok wasn't cheating on him.

He stands in front of Minseok's house, blushing a bit and nervous. He took a deep breath, exhaling out and pushes the doorbell. He waits for Minseok to open the door and when the door does open, his smile falters into a shock.

A girl. A familiar senior girl is up at the door.

And he feels his heart ache at the sight.

"Hm? How may I help you?" she says, questioning and definitely silky of almost type. He feels his heart drown in anguish and sadness. He looks down for a moment, to save himself from the situation.

"Hello?"

Jongdae looks up with a forced smile, handing to her a bouquet of flowers and she seemed surprised.

"It's a delivery for you, miss. By Kim Minseok," he says, almost trembling, but went unnoticed to the girl. Her face lit up in delight, happy and satisfied and his heart shatters at this. She looks at him with a bright expression and her words went deaf to his ears for a moment.

"Eh?"

"Here. I'll give you some tip. The flowers are really beautiful and I am most certainly that you made this, so I'm giving you a tip," she states, pulling out her wallet and Jongdae couldn't catch up. She took his hand and Jongdae thought that it is soft and smooth, and she places a handful of bills in his palm and pulls away with a childish smile.

"Thank you!"

And tears flow down and Jongdae only realises it when the door shuts. His heart broke down in shame, embarrasment, guilt and unending grief.

That night, he didn't pick up the calls from Minseok.

+30 miss calls from Minseok hyung.

And tears unwantedly falls and he bites back a whimper of discomfort and pain. He wipes his tears away and lets out a tired sigh, walking down again the road, feeling his heart heavy and torn.

--

Minseok leaves his cafe early, feeling disoriented and drained. He lets Kyuhyun and Donghae manage the cafe, throwing the keys to the baffled Kyuhyun who has just entered the cafe from their whatsoever 'break'. He trudges down the road with a heavy heart, feeling the guilty feeling settle in his heart.

He bought himself a bottle of water, trying to cool down himself and let himself feel a bit alive and still functioning. For the past few nights, he had a dream or most likely what he called 'nightmare'. It wasn't of much a horrible one, but it pictures a flower, a bouquet of flowers that seem to make his heart heavy for some reason. But yet again, since when did he even have the eased and light heart?

It was a bit disturbing and it always left him sit up in the middle of the night because it always bothers him, as if it was telling him something, something that made guilty for it. Then he took notice of the scent that fills the air, a sweet and soft aroma fills the breeze and he follows it curiously. He stops by at the shed, bouquet of flowers displayed beautifully outside. It reminded him of something, all too familiar and heavy.

Then it came back to him.

Minseok left his room, sleepy and definitely had the worst hangover he could ever get. He could feel his temple pounding in pain and he wishes for an aspirin right there and then. He wobbles his way to the kitchen and got himself an aspirin.

Drinking it in one go, Minseok could still feel his head pound in pain and he lets out a frustrated sigh. He hears someone coming and he turns his head and finds Yeona entering the kitchen with a bright smile on her face, a bouquet of flower in her hands. He questioningly looks at her and she went to him and gave him a peck in the cheek.

"Thanks oppa!" Yeona tells him and he looks at her in confusion.

"Huh?" he finds himself saying, ignoring the pounding pain in his head. Yeona cheekily smiles at him and sets the bouquet in the table.

"I'll just get a vase and I'll cook some hangover soup for you, oppa."

When Yeona left, Minseok takes a closer look at the bouquet. Why does she have a bouquet? He doesn't remember ordering one. Wait, maybe when he was drunk? No. It can't be. He doesn't remember ordering from a flower shop. He takes a closer look and he felt energy drain away from him.

The flowers. It was all his favourite and the colour of the wrapping...it was embroidered and beautifully crossed out with his favourite colours. He knew that no one could ever match with this kind of design. No one. And realization broke down on him.

He notices a small white card buried in the chrysanthemums, almost looking as a comaflouge. Slowly, taking it out, he reads its content, eyes wavering in anxiosness. He drops the card on the floor, shock painting his face.

I love you, Minseok hyung. No more hurting and pain, let's be like this, okay? I love you, forever and ever.

-From: Kim Jongdae

Reality seems far off as he knew that Jongdae is once again hurt.

Unforgivable he was, he knew. The reality seems all too far as he blinks back the tears, his heart once again heavy, but somehow eased that the memory resurfaced and he remembered it once again. He chuckles, dull and hollow and he sees from the side, an old woman coming forth towards him. He watches her walk with feeble, slow and careful steps and his heart ached for some reason.

He watches her halt in front of him, eyes slit, but he knew she was staring at him as if she was staring at his soul, knowing his past and wanted to comfort him. She stretches her wrinkled and thin arm, getting a bouquet of flower from the shelf and hands it to him. He takes the bouquet and looks at her questioningly.

"My boy...you've done a lot in the past that you shouldn't have. Now...you are repenting with your life...try. Try to...make a move...give this...flowers...to your love one. Make...it work," she told him, wise and strong. Minseok looks at her in bafflement and the old lady smiles weakly at him.

"Go," she whispers. He blinks at her, stupefied and surprised. His hand reaches out for his wallet in his pocket and carefully, yet somehow swift, the old lady stops his hand from getting his wallet. He looks at her in confusion and the old lady smiles.

"It's okay. Go now," she mutters and Minseok feels his heart drench in warmth and comfort as he takes a look at the bouquet. He nods his head and takes a look at the old lady and smiles at her.

"Thank you."

He takes his leave, and a few metres away, he looks back again where he left the old lady and found that she wasn't there anymore. He tilts his head at the side and decided that he'll go back to shed later and sets off.

--

Minseok waits in front of Jongdae's house, nervous and sweating. He has been standing in front of the house for half an hour already, but it seems the younger hasn't come home yet. Kyungsoo texted him that he was out and that he'll be home later, so the house will be empty. Minseok doesn't mind and waits for Jongdae to come.

10 minutes had passed.

25 minutes had passed.

40 minutes had passed.

An hour had passed.

And there is still no sign of Jongdae. Minseok feels his legs wobble from standing too long, but he decided to wait still, that Jongdae may come.

30 minutes passed, and Minseok decided to leave the bouquet at the front door, thinking that Jongdae will come home later. His heart settled down in disappointment as he layed the bouquet in the rag, sighing after. He takes a step back, stared at the house for awhile before he takes his leave.

3 minutes later after he left, the front door clicks, and Jongdae took a step outside, eyes focused on the bouquet before he takes a lingering look at the side. He shakes his head, sighing and close the door. After a moment, the door opens again and Jongdae picks up the bouquet and takes it inside.

--

Kyungsoo looks at the bouquet of flowers neatly tucked in the vase and gives Jongdae a questioning stare after an hour he arrived at home. He went directly to Jongdae's room to check on things and noticed the bouquet. Jongdae gave him a tight smile.

"I made it for myself."

Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow at him in disbelief and he shrugged.

"I still know how to make a bouquet, Kyungsoo. You're my brother and I have learned from the best and how could I even forget?" Jongdae smoothly lied and he hopes Kyungsoo buys it. Kyungsoo stares at him and he feels his heart race when his brother approaches him. Kyungsoo looks at him for awhile, before he turns his attention towards the flowers and took out a tulip. He sets it down on Jongdae's desk before he takes Jongdae's pen and wrote on the opened notebook.

Kyungsoo pulls away and smiles a bit on him and takes his leave. When his brother was out, Jongdae takes a look at the tulip and then to his opened notebook.

You lied. You don't like tulips. Minseok hyung is the one who gave this to you.

Hard it may be, but Jongdae feels himself swallowing the lump in his throat. He chuckles at how keen Kyungsoo could be and every lie couldn't get past him. Chuckling turns into hushed laughs, drowning his tears that continues to fall and the screeching pain that continues to spread in his heart.

The vase breaks, pieces in floors as the water becomes the tears of the flowers that lays in the carpet.

Kris POV

I need to admit. What I did there was overhand. It wasn't suppose to be that way, but somehow it ended up that way, which I don't even know why it ended up that way. When I arrived at the bridge, I saw Tao happily gazing at the majestic view of the landscape, so happy and beautiful. I don't know what came over me, but the only thing I know is that my heart was beating fast, so fast that I knew I wasn't myself anymore.

Putting my hands over to the sides of his head and slowly leaned in closer and kissed him, took my heart, made it settled as if what I did was the right thing to do, as if it was meant to happen. It took some moment before I finally release the kiss and where I finally realized what I have done.

I took a step back, look at Tao in panic, because I knew what I have done may have startled him or probably have shocked him. I looked at the young male in front of me and saw him stand awkwardly, tensed and head low. . I knew this is going to happen.

"Tao," I calmly called his name, trying to make the situation cool and easy. Tao flinched when I called his name and I knew I was in deep to Luhan. I need to calm the situation and return it back to normal, if there even a way.

"Tao," I called his name again and slowly, he looked up to me, eyes wavering and confusion with pain were lingering in his eyes. I bit my lip for a moment, trying to think of a way to ease the situation. I took a step forward and sighed in relief after, thanking that Tao didn't take a step back. I closed the gap between us.

I looked at his eyes and he held my gaze strongly even though he is wavering greatly. I tried to know what he trying to say, what he is thinking, but no matter how long I stare at his eyes, I can't seem to figure it out. I shift my gaze elsewhere, trying to collect my mind.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to him as I took his hands, gently squeezing it, "I...it was a m-mistake. I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm sorry."

If it wasn't because I was too busy thinking about what I have done, maybe I would have felt Tao flinch at my words, would have known that I was wrong, that my words hurt him, that I shouldn't be saying my apologies that reflected that I regretted what I have done. Maybe, maybe, if I wasn't too busy, maybe I would have seen his silent tears while he had his head hang low, that I shouldn't have said those words as if it was a mistake.

The whole ride back was silent. So silent that it was deafening, that I didn't even notice that we already arrived at Luhan's hotel. We stayed at the car for awhile, silent, tensed and uncomfortable. I knew that he wanted to say something to me, that he wanted to tell me something, to prove to me that I was wrong in something, something important for him and I.

We stayed inside, watching the people go down and up from the staircase, the lights of the cars that became like twinkling stars of different colors around, floating gently through mid-air. The atmosphere seems to calm down a bit as we stayed inside more in the car, let each other's presence sort the heavy atmosphere we had.

Putting my hand in the steering wheel, I thought of something, what I have done back there in the bridge. I sorted it out while we were heading back, sorted it out and have a thought of it.

"Tao...I..." I didn't continue my words anymore when I saw his face turned away from me, focus directly outside, seemingly to tell me that he doesn't want to talk about it. I sighed, not wanting to believe that this is happening. I suppressed another sigh, and let myself be calm.

"Did you...have fun at least, Tao?" I uttered quietly. I watch him look down for a moment, before he nods his head and a wash of relief came over me, that he, at least, had fun despite that 'accident'. While I was busy rejoicing that he had fun, I almost didn't notice that he opened the door and left the car. I left the car after, and went to his side. He had his head hang low again, and it somehow made my heart ache for some matter.

"Guess, I'll see you soon?"

He made a quick bow before turning around and hurriedly took off. I watched his retreating back, my heart feeling suddenly lonely as I watched him scurry off and I wonder if he was crying as he runs away, as if I did something wrong. Did I? I sighed, shaking my head, before I go back to my car and take my leave. I'll sort this out later when I get home.

I arrived back at home, tired and felt defeated. I walk inside, the maids and butlers greeting, and I waved them off. I hear someone crying and it sounds like...mother? I ran to the living room where I have detected the sobs and there I saw my mother, crying in my father's arm and there was a guy sitting across them.

I approached them, steps heavy and concerned.

"Mom," I called out to her and she looked at me with those tear-filled eyes and I felt my heart shatter. The last thing I wanted is to have my mother crying.

"Mom...mom...what's wrong?" I went by her side and she continued to cry, father was patting her shoulder for comfort and kept his silence. I looked at the side and saw a young man, well-built and a bit tall. He has this cold exterior, but at the same time, a warm one.

"Who are you?"

The man gazed at me and for a moment, I almost saw it empty, but then it turned out to be warm and somewhat comforting that made me easily comfortable with him. I relaxed a bit, my temper being controlled and once he saw this, he smiled at me. He stood up, brushed off the creases of his clothes before extending his hand for a handshake.

"It's nice meeting you, Wu Yi Fan. I'm Xing Zhu Yix, the standing 'father' of Zhang Yixing."

Saying that I wasn't shock is completely an understatement. I was shocked, so shocked that I couldn't even comprehend what is around me. Standing 'father' of Yixing? What does he mean about that? And as if he knew what I was talking about, he smiled gently at me.

"Sit down. I'll explain it all from the very start and it's up to you whether you believe it or not."

I heard from him it all. Everything about Yixing and what had happened to his life. Everything. Shock doesn't even contribute to what my reaction is right now. Because everything is so hard to comprehend and everything seems so wrong, because why would Yixing's parents do that? They love him and I remember them talking to my parents about Yixing, boasting about their son's great skills and achievements. Were those lies? The belief that Yixing is in good hands has been all wrong? Was I wrong?

"Yi Fan. I know this might be too big to comprehend, but you have to know that Yixing's parents are crueler than monsters," Father told me when tears flowed down from my eyes which I never knew. So all these years, all these years where I was standing, believing that my cousin is okay, is actually not? That I was merely wasting my time?

I stood up abruptly, wiping the tears off my face. Anger was my temper now.

"Yi Fan," he calls out to me and I gazed at him with burning hatred that he is telling lies. I've always looked up to the Zhangs and never did they fail my expectations, never once.

"Yi Fan," he starts again, "when you are done releasing your anger, collect your thoughts and you'll know what I'm saying is true."

I sneered at him before I left them, running away from the truth and the reality.

I watch the dark sky. There are no stars twinkling in the midst and I felt my life goes dark and dull. I released my anger by breaking the glasses, ruining my room and now it's in chaos. I sit by the windowsill, collecting my thoughts and memories.

"Yixing!" Yi Fan calls out his cousin name, barging in his cousin's room. The young boy was looking outside through the window, looking dazed. Yi Fan carefully approaches him and give him a good scare, but somehow, today wasn't a good scare at all. Yixing was still looking outside, daze and unmoving and it gave a small tremble in Yi Fan's heart.

"Yixing?" he calls out again and this time, the younger looks at him with a surprised look. Yi Fan raises an eyebrow, but didn't question much.

"Come on, Yixing. Your parents are looking for you. You need to go home now."

Tears fall out like crystals. Too precious and rare. They were Yixing's tears.

Yi Fan panicked, asking what's wrong and Yixing shakes his head, sniffling and sobbing. Yi Fan doesn't understand but he wishes he could. Gently he takes Yixing's small hands, clasping it with his.

"Yixing, what's wrong? Don't you want to go home?" And he received a shake of head. He was torn, because he was assigned to have Yixing down, but seeing his cousin's tears broke his heart more. He enveloped the younger in a hug, comforting him and telling him that he won't go home, that he'll stay for tonight. Yixing fisted his shirt, hard and clinging as if his life was depended on it. He hums him a song, a lullaby to make him asleep and forget his pain.

That night, Yi Fan as able to convince Yixing's parents to let Yixing stay in their house. And seemingly like they didn't care for their child, they agreed without hesitation, leaving with a clacking of high-heeled shoes and a cold trail.

That night, Yi fan went inside Yixing's room, caressing the young boy's hair so very gently and caring. He found a notebook on the table that immediately caught his eyes since it was open and a pen in the middle. He went to the table, got the notebook and read its content and he almost dropped it by shock.

I hate my parents. They're not my parents. They're monsters. Monsters. I want my father. Father, where are you?

"I knew...I knew...I shouldn't have given birth to you," Li Mei sneered at the little boy, and Yixing held his head down in shame.

"That's enough, Li Mei," Cha Liao says in annoyance, holding his wife's wrist.

"Leave me be, Liao." Li Mei snarled at him and pulled her wrist away from his hold. She focused back to Yixing and Yixing could already feel his tears threatening to fall. Li Mei scoffs at him.

"You worthless child. Can you even do anything normal? Nothing, right? Why? You know why? Because you're stupid. A fool who can't even speak and is weak. Born with a body of a frail, a pity you are Yixing. You don't even deserve to be called a Zhang. You want to know why? Because the Zhangs are perfect. Normal and human beings. You aren't even one of those, Yixing."

Yixing sniffled, tears flowing down strongly and painfully. His heart screamed in agony and it felt weak and he felt himself gasping for air and it went all unnoticed to them.

"Yixing. Remember this my child," Li Mei crouched, leveling with Yixing. Forcing Yixing to look at her with her hand held up below his chin, Yixing was forced to see his mother's face while she spits out her venomous words.

"You are nobody, okay? You are alone and will forever be alone. You have no place in the world and nowhere else. You don't belong here, Yixing. You never were. Remember that." She gently pats Yixing's cheek, putting up her sickening smile.

"Let's go, Liao." Both left their child alone in the big expanse room and Yixing felt his heart race, pounding hard in his chest and he felt choked up, feeling the want to gasp for air. He mind felt light as his mother's words rang through his head again and again.

The next thing he knew was Yi Fan running to him.

Yi Fan was listening throughout the conversation, accidentally stepped on the incident. He heard everything that Li Mei said and it was sickening. When he heard, the familiar clacking of shoes, Yi fan hid behind the table, securing his place. When he was sure that they were out, immediately he went to Yixing and when he went inside, he never expected to see a sight like this.

"Yixing!" He runs to him and quickly, he cradled Yixing's head.

"Yixing, wake up! Wake up! Please!" Frantically, Yi Fan calls out to him, but there was no response at all. He called out for help, frantic and in fear, wishing that anyone would hear him and hoping that Yixing would stay alive.

"Good thing you were just in time or else, he might have died. May I know what's the cause of this?" The doctor asked and no one answered, even Yi Fan himself. Hao Min tearfully looks at the doctor, choking up for awhile before she was able to deliver out her words.

"Doctor...why...why did he collapse like that?" The question was dreading and it was nerve-cracking as they wait the doctor's answer. The doctor heaves a sigh before nodding his head.

"He has a weak heart. The blood the has been circulating i the heart isn't thoroughly circulated or should I say pumped. Since the heart is weak, it pumps the blood weakly and not the normal regulation of pumping. I suggest that you shouldn't stress him out, give him heavy things that will cause him too much work and energy. He can be discharged in three days after we check on him more. Now will you please excuse me."

Yi Fan's parents broke down, because even if Yixing wasn't their son, they made him as their child of their own. Seeing Yixing in the ICU broke their heart, knowing also what his sickness is. Yi Fan approaches the ICU, watching the younger male, breathing through oxygen mask and the way his chest rise up and down weakly.

"Yixing...I'm sorry. I promise to protect you. Promise to make you safe again. I'm so sorry," Yi Fan states, a vow that he'll keep forever.

The next three days when Yixing was discharged, he doesn't remember anything from that day. All he remembered was sleeping and the next thing he knew was he was in the hospital.

He forgot it all.

I draw out a long sigh, defeated but understood. I now know that everything is true, that what Zhu Yix is saying is true. That everything that I believed is fake. I forgot it, the way how Li Mei spits out her hatred to Yixing. I forgot it, but I know that I need to protect Yixing, but I never knew why and only now do I remember it. I feel useless for some matter, felt that I failed him once again, to protect Yixing. How I wish to see Yixing now and asked forgiveness from him.

"Well, you may do that," A sudden voice told me that caught me startled. Looking at my side, I saw Zhu Yix enter my room without permission and I silently watch him under the shadow's blanket. He stepped on the moonlight, showing his calm and warm smile that made me ease down.

"Here." He hands me two pieces of paper and I look at him quizzically and he smiled in response.

"The piece of paper contains the address of the hospital where Yixing is and his room. And the other paper is the permission by me, because there'll be two doctors that'll be asking you."

"You..."

"No need to thank me. Go. I bet you're dying to see him."

"No...why are you doing this?"

Zhu Yix looks outside, closing our gap a bit, he smiles tenderly and almost sadly.

"I was suppose to be here next week still, but I thought that it is better to be early than to regret it when I make it too long. I'm doing this because I need to let you and your family know, because I know you and your family care about him."

"So you thought that we deserve it?"

I saw Zhu Yix frowns a bit before he smirks.

"Maybe, or maybe not. Go now or else visiting hours will prohibit you to see him."

With that being said, I felt myself standing up, getting my coat and leaving him behind my room, running through the hallway and staircase and out of the house. Zhu Yix is truly a mysterious man, a man that is truly terrifying even though he shouldn't be. He's back and we met again after 15 long years.

"Wu Yi Fan?" a young man called out to him. Yi Fan looks at him quizzically, why the young man knows his name. Zhu Yix grins at him, as if he is happy or sadistically joyful at something.

"My, my. You've grown well."

"What do you want, mister?"

The young man laughs, loud and a bit deafening.

"Nothing, my boy. I just wanted to see how you look like, because my child kept talking about you."

Yi Fan looks at him in confusion.

"Your child?"

"Yes. He kept talking about you so I wanted to see how you looked like and indeed you look like someone who is smart. A very talented boy and is to be remarked."

Yi Fan feels his heart pound at the man's voice, feeling his body tremble. The young man saw this and he chuckles in humor, as if he is happy seeing him scared.

"Don't be scared, my boy. I'm not bad nor am I a freak. I just felt that I need some humor and seeing you scared somehow is funny. Now go along, I need to go. My child is waiting for me," The young man says before he took a retreating steps and turns around. When Yi Fan got a hold of himself, he called out to the man.

"Wait!"

The man halts his track and Yi Fan tries to find his words.

"Zhu Yix. My name is Xing Zhu Yix, Yi Fan," The former tells before continuing with his steps and blending once again to the shadow where he came from. Yi Fan stood in his position, frozen and stupefied.

"Zhu Yix..."

"Thank you." I bowed to them, saying my thanks as they let me go to Yixing's room. Dr. Daehyun and Dr. Hyunwha were the doctors who came to approach me when I first stepped into the hospital. Dr. Daehyun was eating a lollipop while Dr. Hyunwha was wearing her cold face. Dr. Daehyun spoke first, telling me that they allow me to go which left me asking why they knew what am I doing in the hospital. Dr. Hyunwha responded that the Zhu Yix called them, letting them know beforehand so that they won't harass me in any case.

"Then why did he give me this paper?" I ask and Dr. Daehyun takes the paper from my hand, opening it up before he scans it and nods his head.

"To have our signature on it, that we met you face to face."

"Oh..."

"Yeah, so go now. It has an intricate of L in the door and that is his room," Dr. Hyunwha muttered and I strained my ears to get her words, which I'm thankful that I got it. I bowed to them for the last time and went my way to the elevator and set foot on the floor where Yixing's room is located. I ambled my way through the corridors, doors, nurses and doctors, passing by them with small nods and smiles.

I stepped foot in a corridor that seems to be different than others, it seems to be calm and somewhat warm. Walking through, I looked at the different paintings, vases with different flowers that complimented and beautified each and as I walk in deeper, I found myself halting in front of a room, a large intricate of an exotic calligraphy of 'L' is carved on the door. I felt my heart race as I double check the right location where I am standing and what Dr. Hyunwha had said and when it is all confirmed, I calmed myself first and let my heart return to its normal pace.

I knocked on the door first before I reached for the handle and slolwy slide the door open.

Yixng & Joonmyeon & Kris

Yixing blinks blankly at him, confused and lost at his words. Kris seems to be okay with it, knowing that he caught the younger in surprise, so he tries it gently and carefully this time, trying not to scare the young boy away this time.

"Yixing. It's me. Your cousin, Kris. Wu Yi Fan?" he says as he tries to let his name ring a bell to Yixing, but as the more he tries to let Yixing remember, the more the younger seems to be lost.

"Yixing...Yixing. Don't you remember me? It's me. Little Dragon."

Yixing blinks at him, trying to remember who this man is, trying to at least remember a piece of him.

'Little Dragon...Little Dragon...Yi Fan ge.'

"Yah! Yixing!" Kris growls at the younger, who cowered in fear in the corner. Kris was angry, so angry that his favorite dragon was torn up to pieces, ruined and disoriented. He snarled at the young boy, forgetting everything about the case of the young Yixing.

"You!" He points at him, "what have you done? Tell me!"

Yixing didn't answer. He was scared. He didn't mean to ruin the doll. He was just playing with it and the next thing he knows, is that, the dolls are in pieces. He didn't mean to destroy his cousin's doll.

Kris was at the peak, ready to explode, but he didn't.

"You. Don't you even come near me. Ever," Kris snarled at him for one last time, before the older leaves his side. Yixing looks at the retreating back of Kris and bit his lips as he tries to suppress his tears.

'I'm sorry...'

---

Yixing bit his lips, as he tried his hardest to sew back the ruined doll. Wounds and tears came, hurting as little Yixing tries his best to sew the doll back all together. Punctured several times that caused him wounds, tears fell because of the pain, Yixing bears it all. Trying not to give up now when he owes something to his dearest cousin. He wants to reconcile with his cousin, to not make him angry and not to have him hate him.

So he tries, sew the doll back even if it is not professional, but he still tries, to let his heart settle in guiltless and not being in guilty of regret.

A spread of smile painted his lips, beautiful and joyful. He was finally done. Finished sewing back the doll altogether. It may not look its best but it's all back together in one piece and that's important. Feeling his heart flutter in joy, Yixing packed up all the sewing kit before he goes to his table, takes a paper out and a pen. Writing on it, he told what his heart wanted to say, apologizing and tell his regards and wishes.

Finishing up his letter, Yixing jumped of from his chair, running over to the sewed doll ad running over to his cousin's room.

---

Yixing looks inside, taking a look if Yi Fan is inside, but it seems the latter is not around. Walking inside, Yixing wanders around, looking around the beautiful room, much royalty than his. He saw pictures of Yi Fan's family, happy and smiling. He smiles at the picture, loving the fact that his cousin was happy and that he has a family. His was broken, never once a family even though his parents took him, it never was considered as a family in the first place.

Leaving the side, Yixing approaches the big bed, climbing on top of it before he crawls until he was at the middle. As he was on the middle, Yixing places the dragon doll on the middle of the bed, attaching his letter on it and letting a smile fall for awhile.

Taking one last look, Yixing leaves the bed, and takes one last look at the doll before he leaves.

'Hope you'll forgive me, Yi Fan ge.'

---

The next day

"Yixing...Yixing...Wake up. It's morning." The voice was rough and deep and it doesn't take a thought for Yixing to identify the voice, for he knew who it was. Slowly opening his eyes, Yixing met with a familiar brown hue eyes and was greeted with a smile. Yi Fan pulls him up, making him sit up. Yawning a bit, Yixing blinks at the older boy and Yi Fan smiles at him.

He takes the small hand of his cousin, a flinch was the response but soon calmed down before patting it gently before he gazes at him.

"I'm sorry," he says and Yixing blinks a bit in surprise. Chuckling a bit at the reaction, Yi Fan continues,

"I'm sorry for getting angry at you yesterday. I was having a hard time and having to come across with my ruined doll had me take it out on you. It wasn't your fault, Yixing. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said to you yesterday. I'm really sorry."

Yixing looks down, biting his lip before he felt the tears fall down. Yi Fan panicked as soon as he saw the tears, asking what is the problem. Yixing sniffled in response and Yi Fan could feel his heart drop when Yixing looked at him with those tear-filled eyes.

Yixing took his hand, writing something on his palm and Yi Fan tries to make out the words, setting aside his panic for awhile.

"You're not angry at me anymore, right? I'm really sorry for ruining your doll. I didn't mean it. Forgive me."

Tears flows out from his eyes as he pulled Yixing into a hug, enveloping the younger male in his embrace, laughter of sense left his lips, joy filling his heart.

"Of course not, idiot. I forgive you and thank you for the doll. It's been better since the original."

He pulls away and shows Yixing the sewed dragon doll, too familiar and twinkled. Yixing reaches out for it, caressing the soft plush, before he writes on his palm again.

"Little Dragon...your nickname...could I call you that?"

Yi Fan blinks, silenced and stupefied before it finally sunk down in his brain. A smile slowly spread on his face, looking at Yixing in awe and care as the younger male look back at him with a shy smile.

"Yeah. You could call me that. Little Dragon. I'm Little Dragon. Your Little Dragon."

Yixing could feel tears slipped out from his eyes as he remembered his cousin. His cousin who looked out for him, cared for him and protected him besides his father. His cousin who filled his empty side, made him alive and let him feel that he is alive in this world. He stares at the familiar pair of brown hue eyes, sighting the similarity of the past and the softness of the heart despite the hard exterior.

He smiles, reaching out to his cousin, as Kris held his hand, smiling at him gladly as he finally remembered him.

"I'm glad you remember Yixing. I'm so glad."

Kris held their conversation, holding it up as far as he could, telling his life to Yixing whom he had lost since young. He told the younger male what had become after he left, what had happened in the family and what had happened to him. Yixing seems to be happy hearing his life, satisfied and awe struck whenever he would say something 'cool'. It was a joyful sight, eyes twinkled in bright joyful light and smile that looks so beautiful whenever he smiles so genuinely.

It took some time before Yixing tells his life in a small white board. Written and summarized. It took only 3 erase and 3 writings to tell his life that he wasn't able to see, and it caused Kris's heart to break as he heard about Yixing's life. He always have known that Yixing's life had been a mess since he was born. That his life has always been the worse, that even if given everything that a child could have, he was always one step away from being normal. That he was far away from being a normal person. Borne with illness and sickness that's incurable, it pained Kris to see his cousin living in a white bed with awful smell of hospital drugs.

He heard everything from Zhu Yix, the present guardian and the standing 'father' of Yixing. He heard from him all about Yixing, how the young boy ended up in his care and how his parents ruined the boy's time life. It angered him. Everything. And definitely Yixing's parents. He doubted Zhu Yix's story, but when he had recalled the conversation back then when the Zhangs came, he knew that something was off and even back then, when they were still young, that something was off, terribly off and that's where Kris knew it was true. Everything was true.

Yixing's parents were unforgivable and he's sure to let them taste a medicine of their own soon enough, letting them having a torturous life throughout the end, where they would want to die, but can't. He'll make sure of it and he'll make it true for Yixing's life and protection. It was his job, always have been and he has a duty to fulfill after how many years that they have separated. He vows and he'll make sure to end it and if he hears one last word of their action to Yixing, one more pain to Yixing, he vows to kill them with his own two hands.

A soft, gentle and warm hand was placed over his hand and quickly, he looked at Yixing, who looked at him with a gentle smile and his heart ached. Reaching out with his other hand, he caresses the younger's hair, gently caressing it as of comfort and sadness.

"Why are you still smiling when you're still in pain?" he asks, eyes concerned and sad for the brunette. Yixing smiles at him knowingly, understanding what he is trying to say and almost knowing what he is thinking. Kris bit his lip, letting out an exasperated sigh and nodding his head, understanding what he is trying to say through his smile.

He forces up a smile this time, hand still clasped by Yixing's hand and he doesn't mind.

"Taken your medication already?"

A shake of the head.

"Really? Wait here. I'll call your doctor."

He was about to stand up when Yixing pulled him back on the chair, and it caused him to look at him in confusion. Yixing shook his head frantically, as if he fear the doctor that takes care of him. Kris suddenly felt worry over the younger, suddenly feeling the alarm.

"What is it, Yixing? Did the doctor do something bad to you?"

A shake of head.

"Did he hurt you?"

Another shake of the head.

"Did he do something that cause you pain?"

Another one.

Kris almost snapped at him and thankfully, he didn't snap. He growled under his breath and looked at Yixing, his hands on the latter's shoulder.

"Yixing. I need to know what is up with the doctor. If I can't know, then how will I be able to help you?"

Yixing looked down, eyes glazed with sadness.

"Yixing. Look at me."

The latter looks at him and Kris saw it. The pain and grief that Yixing held in his eyes and he understood. That something is going on between them.

"Yixing..."

Yixing smiles at him, pained and forced and he mouths to him.

"I'm okay."

Suho sighs, clipboard in his hand, tiredness covering him awfully. He had just left the long meeting that took 3 hours approximately. It was tiring, definitely, when his mind was torn into two; one for Yixing and the other to the meeting. It was so difficult to focus that Suho has to restrain himself from banging his head on wooden table.

Dreading to miss out any important question, Suho tried his best to focus on the meeting which turned out to be successful enough, because when he took a look on his clipboard, all the important notes were there and he was glad table to survive. Dropping the clipboard on his table, Suho took some leisure to drink the newly brewed coffee that he had made. It was very comforting, the heat of the coffee and it was bitter.

After drinking it all, he sets down the cup on the table, drawing out a long sigh before he takes a look at their photo of Yixing and him. He smiles tenderly at the picture, missing the younger boy more than ever.

He felt empty for the past days without being beside the brunette and it made him dull throughout. He couldn't function normally, breathe and work, and it came to his realization that he can't live without seeing the younger, being able to bathe in his presence and tender, warm smiles.

He felt incomplete, as if his half to begin with was lost once again, that a part of him is once again lost. Suho sadly smiles at the realization and conclusion he had made a few hours ago, where he had collected his thoughts and had understood the memories and days he had spend with the younger, where he finally lets go of the past and move on completely.

The warm blanket of moonlight shelters him from the cold darkness of his office and he appreciates the warmth. Closing his eyes, he pictures Yixing with his smile and it gave him enough courage and reason to see him.

Clad with an eased heart, Suho sets off to meet with Yixing again, to finally see him after 3 days. He was finally going to meet him, to reconcile with the latter and catch up with the missing time.

He stands in front of Yixing's room, Sehun's words ringing in his ears and he smiles. He whisper a 'thank you' before knocking and stepping inside.

Seeing what is happening inside got him enough to be shocked and felt his nerves trickle with burning jealousy and anger. Two attentions focus on his way, and he was in dilemma in what to do and say, so he tried to swallow it all up, force a smile and enter the room with cold steps.

"Good evening, sir. May I know why you are here?" Suho asked rather in a quite polite way and watches the uninvited guest turned to Yixing as Yixing gives him an unreadable look and Suho questions their relationship.

He waits for awhile before the guest stood up and bowed.

"Hello. I am Yixing's cousin, Wu Yi Fan. I came to visit him."

Suho blinked at what he said, trying to make sure what he heard is right. And when he did made sure it is right, Suho nods his understandingly and offers a handshake.

"Dr. Suho. Yixing's head doctor." Suho puts up the smile he could, glancing at the younger who ducked his head. Kris takes his hand, shaking it in return and both put their hands down. Suho glances at Yixing, who still had his head hanged down for some reason and he wonders why.

"Are you going to get his blood test?" Kris asks that caught him startled. He looks at Kris unsurely then to Yixing who gazes at him with an unreadable expression. His heart aches as he turned away his gaze and looked at Kris.

"No. I just dropped by to check if he is doing fine, and it seems that he is okay. I'll be taking my leave now. You may continue with your chat." Suho bows and gazes at Yixing who gazes back at him. He shakes his head and turns away and left the room.

Yixing's POV

No...don't leave. Please.

I felt my heart drop as he left the room and shatters to pieces when the click of the door is heard. I felt the need to catch my breath, had a hard time swallowing the lump that is formed in my throat. I never intended to send him away. I wished he knew how I need him right now. How happy I am to see him, how happy that I could finally bathe in his company and warm smiles that never fails to melt my heart. How I wish he knew that I yearned for him, every single day without fail, that I want to hear his voice, melt under his smiles and feel comfort with his presence by my side. How I wish he knew.

Suho...please.

Come back.

Tears fall, warm yet painful, reflecting my emotions now. I don't care if Kris sees this, because I don't care anymore. It hurts. Everything hurts. When I finally saw him again, he left like a water, so cold, vague and sealed off. I felt that I don't weigh any more in his life, that I wasn't a part of it at all. His gaze told me everything that I should know and it is so painful that I want to shout. But how can I, if I couldn't even produce a single sound?

Worthless am I, just like what my mother said. I don't belong anywhere, don't I? How pitiful...

It hurts. It's so pitiful that it hurts.

"Yixing!"

Father...

"Yixing! Are you okay?"

Ji...

"Zhang Yixing!"

I turned to my cousin, upset, yet broken. He looks at me in concern, worried and with care, and I smiled, but it wasn't enough, it doesn't measure Suho's at all. I feel my heart pound, my head feeling light and everything seems so dull and buzzing around. My heart aches, races and pounds, head pounding and feels so light. My sight becomes blur and the last thing I know was whispering Suho's name.

Kris's POV

When the doctor came in and introduced himself, I knew something was off. That something is going on. He was smiling, yes, but it seems so forced and annoyed. He's young, a bit short, but I could tell that he is smart and definitely had the qualification to be a doctor.

He has this bending emotions that are so easily spotted on him and I wonder why he is in a sour mood? His name is Suho, meaning as guardian and I wonder for awhile, that his name suited him, complimenting his stature and 2nd impression.

I asked if he was going to take a blood test from Yixing, and he answered that he wasn't going to take a blood test. That he just dropped by to check if Yixing was okay. It was odd for some reason, but I shrugged it out. He stares at me for awhile, then I realized that he wasn't staring at me, that he was gazing at Yixing behind me, as if he was relaying a message to him.

He shakes his head then took his leave. The doctor is surely odd, silent and vague like...water. He was hard to figure it out, a facade and definitely someone who keeps his emotions very well in the outside. I felt that I saw him before, that I knew him, but as I tried thinking, there was none.

Maybe it was just a feeling, that I mistook it as a familiarity. I breathe out a sigh before turning my focus towards my cousin again. What I saw felt like a de javu. Rare and precious crystals fall unwantedly, and my heart races in concern.

"Yixing!" I called out to him, but he doesn't hear. I watch him grasp for air, smacking his chest, reflecting that he was hurting and the tears agreeing to it. He was hurting for some reason, and I was panicking. I don't know what to do, so I called out to his name once again.

"Zhang Yixing!" I called him by his full name and he looked at me, and I felt my heart stop at his gaze. It was so broken, upset, yes, but he was broken. It all reflected so greatly on him as tears continues to cascade down and I felt my heart aches as the tears rolls down from his eyes.

"Yixing," I whispered and he wobbles. He looks at me before gazing straght ahead and I followed it; he was gazing at the door for some reason. I heard a soft thump at my side and quickly I turned to my cousin. I saw him lying down on his bed, tears slowly stopping as I checked for his pulse and I released out a sigh of relief.

He's still alive. Just sleeping. Even though I have no right to claim that everything is okay, I had some experience in medical field together with Minho. We were obliged to study for Baekhyun's well-being and for our sake also. It was worth it, as I was able to understand Baekhyun more and was able to claim that my cousin is fine.

I gently tucked him into a much comfortable position, covered him with a blanket and wiped off his tears. He was mouthing something and I tried to understand what he is trying to say.

Suho.

He was calling the doctor's name. I blinked. Why is he calling him? My focus was turned away when I felt the need to turn to the side. There, I saw, a picture. A picture of Dr. Suho and Yixing. Both of them were smiling happily and for a moment, I thought that they looked good together.

Then something clicked on me, realization broken down to me.

Yixing has some feelings for Dr. Suho.

It wasn't a theory, but it's true.

Yixing never liked being pictured. He detested it with all his life and only made some exceptions to people that he like. Seeing him having a picture together with the doctor, means that he likes the doctor, that he isn't scared of him. And to prove it more, when I asked him why he didn't like to have me call his doctor, shows that there is something that may had happened between them. And for the disclosure of the theory, when Dr. Suho was looking at Yixing and when Yixing cried all of a sudden after the doctor left.

It showed only that something had happened between them and that Yixing is hurting because of it. Yixing likes the doctor...does that mean, the doctor rejected him? Doubt and questions lingers in my head and my heart told me to find out. Find what is happening.

Seemingly that I woudn't be able to return back, I looked for a paper and a pen to write on. And when I did, I wrote my farewell to Yixing, saying that I'll come back soon enough. I left the paper in the nightstand, giving one last look to Yixing and left to find the doctor.

"Dr. Suho." I found him in the balcony after asking some nurses along the way. He was sitting on one of the benches, looking at the dark sky. He didn't greet me as much I have expected it and took a sit beside him. I looked at the dark sky, watching nothing but the darkness.

"There are no stars today," he says and I hummed in agreement. Warm silence envelopes us and for a moment, I felt that I knew him. Soon enough, I decided to break the silence and do what I came for.

"Did Yixing and you...had a fight?" It was unsure, for I didn't have any knowledge on what is happening at all. He kept his silence and I sensed that he doesn't want to talk about it. Letting out a sigh, I tried another.

"Do you have any relationship with Yixing?" And again, no answer. How am I suppose to know what is happening between them and be able to solve it? I let out a frustrated sigh, but never left. The garden here is comfortable, very calm and somewhat comforting. I stayed for awhile, letting nature dance along.

"Do you know how it feels to be torned with two roses? One wilts and another blooms. Different from the other rose, but it reflects too much of the other rose. This one lives on, its thorns just like the wilted one, then in the end, the rose becomes painful," he utters and I blinked at him. Not getting it at all.

"Huh?"

He gazes at me, before he smiles. Then it came to me, that he was crying, despite that he was smiling. I look at him, and he chuckles for no reason. He looks back at the sky, tears rolling down to his cheeks and he looks so...miserable. Broken like Yixing.

"Yixing and I...are nothing, but merely a patient and a doctor. We didn't get into a fight or so, because there was no reason to," he says, but his voice tells otherwise. I knew he was lying, because his tears reflected too much of what he is feeling.

"Why are you saying this? Don't you have any concern for him? Don't you know that what you are doing is hurting him?" I stood up and looked at him angrily. He smiles weakly and nods his head.

"I know. I know that what I'm doing is hurting him. That I'm giving him pain than happiness. Tell me, Yixing's cousin. I'm hurting also, because I'm torn. I thought that I had let go of the past, but it seems that I'm still clinging into it. Tell me. What should I suppose to do?"

Then I realized what he said earlier. What he meant by the roses.

I looked at him, almost in apology and sympathy and he shakes his head, as if telling me that it is okay. That he understands. I feel choked up all of a sudden, that I was too rash and wasn't thinking.

Our eyes locked together and from there on, I knew what he was feeling. What he wants to do and say. I took a deep breath, collecting my thoughts and myself.

"Go see him. Let the past be. Even if you cling into it, let it be. What's important is the present and not the future. Leave the future as is, and focus on the present more, because it'll be the one to decide what your future will be. Go and see Yixing. He needs you as you also needs him."

I watch him chuckle, swallowing up the sob that threatens to come out and he looks at me, smiled before thanking me. I smiled a bit and nodded at him.

"Reconcile with him."

I stare at the hospital, feeling alive and happy. I was able to see my cousin again for how many years, saw him young and beautiful, yet broken and a mess. I met Dr. Suho, tangled in the past and Yixing, hurting like Yixing. Both souls were in silence, yet their love seems to prove more than ever.

They are different, yet they are the same--so oddly the same. After saying that he should reconcile with Yixing, he smiles and I felt my heart race because of it. It was gentle, warm, sincere and genuine. It was a smile that could make anyone fall in love to, and I know that it was one of the reasons why Yixing fell in love with him.

He smiles, beautiful and toxicating then he whispers.

"Joonmyeon."

"Huh?"

He looks at me, eyes warm and gentle.

"Kim Joonmyeon is my name."

His name is Kim Joonmyeon. Softly complimenting him so well just like his nickname. It fitted his gentle personality, a warm and big heart. I know he's good. That he'll be able to take care of Yixing more than I do. I know very well that Yixing doesn't need my protection anymore, that he doesn't need me to protect him from any danger, because Joonmyeon is there. He's there to protect him and be by his side always.

I. I'll always protect him, but I'll let Joonmyeon take the front stage and let him be the best of all. I'll be at the side, watching from afar, keeping in touch, so that in case when Joonmyeon falters, I'll be able to help both of them in any way I could.

I felt the smile crawl up, happy and satisfied. I felt my heart at ease and hope for the best for them. I'll come back soon enough just like what I promised, but I have something to do first. Things to settle and fix.

I walk away from the hospital, hands in my pocket as I set my journey back at home, take a rest and deal with tomorrow.

Joonmyeon's POV

I faltered, didn't I? I was a coward, just like who I truly am. My father would always tell me to never falter, to waver and be a coward, because when I do so, everything falls. His words were always true, ever since, stuck in my mind since I was young, but I never took heed of his words just like he always told me so. Because I always falter, waver and always been a coward.

My father was hard as a rock, while my mother was gentle like a feather. Both contrasting each other, yet fitted so perfectly. My mother was the strength of my father and my father was the strength of my mother. So perfectly fitted for each other, I wonder if I was there child to begin with, my thoughts when I was young. But when I grew up, set foot in highschool at a young age, there I saw where I truly belong.

Mom was gentle, vulnerable and almost a weak type of person, but then I saw how truly strong she was. Whenever she would have hard time, she wouldn't cry, keep it all to herself and swallow it hardly and glare at my father with all she could. She would fight until the end and would never show any signs of defeat.

Then I saw my father. He was strong, strict and a stubborn type of person, but then, I saw it soon as a facade of who he truly is. Whenever mother and he would fight, his voice would always tremble first before he leaves the place and goes to his room and I watch my mother sigh softly, blinking away the tears and give me a smile when she saw me and leave the house for a fresh air. Late night, I would here my father crying, scolding himself, and telling himself why he is being like this.

There I saw, how truly different they are, but the same, fitting each other so perfectly. I took each side's personailty, but more of my father's side than my mother and I laugh at the irony in it. They were my old folks and I remember them rarely, because it was their wish and I had to fulfill it.

Then I saw Yixing. So beautiful and gentle. Vulnerable and almost the weak type of person. Just like my mother. He reflected too much of my mother, too much and enough. He was the exact replica of my mother, so the same and nothing differ. They often daze, smile so beautiful and gentle, calm and always the vulnerable type. Then I realized that Yixing is strong. Strong despite the image he always give. He was stronger than I think he is, just like her.

But then, I knew that mother was still vulnerable despite having the strong personality she has, that she wavers and also falters just like Yixing. I knew the younger boy is hurting, hurting in the inside, but doesn't show in the outside and stays strong, yet deeply hurting in the inside.

He, too, is like me. Both of us resembled each other, yet differ in many fields. The same, yet different and I wonder if we fit each other perfectly? My life was messed up, puzzles not in the right places, but still whole. How could I love Yixing if I still cling in the past? That I still hold Ji in my heart than him? I don't even know what the younger is feeling for me. Does he like me? Does he even have a tiny feelings for me?

Questions and doubts always claims my mind and the past claims my heart than the present. Then Kris's words rewinds in my mind.

Wise words were they. I knew, always knew that I should let the past remain and focus on the present more than the past, because the present will decide my future and not the past that is already done. I was frustrated, upset and disappointed. I felt confused and angry at Yixing. I never knew why, but maybe it was because Yixing never greeted me like he used to. Never looked at me the same just like those eyes that I loved. Maybe, maybe because I was angry at myself. Knew better that Yixing would respond that way, that I have hurted him that he doesn't even look at me with those the same eyes again.

I knew, deep inside me, that I was wrong. I was wrong in every way. That I was being immature and definitely a coward. But, this time, I would make things right. Try to patch up with the lost time and fix what is there to fix. I need to get a hold of myself and focus on the present, focus on the ticking time and focus on Yixing.

I need to make things right again, for me to let go of the past and grasp on the present.

I feel so angry at myself. So angry that I want to kill myself.

Yixing is sleeping, breath weak and face calm, and hopefully, sleeping peacefully. He's still beautiful just like when I first saw him, but when I take a closer look on him, forget about everything, I saw that he is tired. He looks paler than before, grew thinner and felt that he is so tired, in pain and broken. Has he not been eating well for the past few days? Has he not been sleeping well? Sehun tells me that he is okay, that he is doing fine, but why does he look like this?

I may have questioned it as a why, but I knew that it's because of me. That I was the reason of it all. That I caused him grief unintentionally or intentionally. I caused him pain that caused him to be like this, hurting, crying because of me.

I slowly reached out my hand to caress his hair, so soft, smooth and silky. I smiled. It was one of the things that I liked about him, his hair that never fails to amaze me with its softness. Then what happened next caught me off-guarded, startled and surprised.

Tears cascade from his closed eyes, as if he was dreaming something bad or remembering the painful memories. I look at him in concern, worried and in pain that I had a hunch that it was because of me. And it becomes crystal clear that it is truly me when he mouthed my name. And I could almost feel the broken voice of his, so broken and pained.

I felt my heart shatter at this. I never wanted him to cry, for his tears were precious and seeing him cry, nearly gripped my breath, choking me to be guilty for it all. My heart ached as I watch every tear roll down to his cheeks, pained and warm.

I couldn't do anything. I felt helpless. I feel like I made a terrible mistake that I couldn't unrewind ever again. I slowly moved my hand to his face, trembling and hesitant whether to wipe away those tears. In the end, I wiped those tears away, bend a bit and leaned to his ear.

"Don't cry. I'm here. I'm here by your side again. Please, don't cry anymore. I'm right here."

And with tears that roll down to my cheeks, I move my face away and leaned down to kiss him in the forehead. A moment, a cherished time, as I felt my heart beats loudly for the boy I loved before I slowly pulled away from him. Gasping for the air that I need, my heart aches every second that pass by and I gaze at him with every tender care and love I have. Tears flows down, warm yet painful as I close my eyes and whisper my apology.

"I'm sorry, Yixing. For everything that I have done, I'm so sorry."

A/N: I'm back! Yeah...it took so long....Sorry.../bows 90 degrees

The chapter isn't proofread so...yeah, mistakes are there. I feel terrible for some reason. I don't know why...I feel like I destryode half of the pairings here....oh well. It's part of the plan...and more is up soon! I know it's long, but I wanted to let you guys and gulls to have a view of a full shot of their scenes rather than a cut off then proceed on to a new scene. So I hope you guys and gulls aren't angry at me for all the pairings scenes for this chapter? Especially Hunhan and Sulay?

Hahaha...ha...ha...ah..........

/hides under the table

Sorry.

Ahaha....yeah....
So yeah....Your thoughts about this? Comment about this chapter would be appreciated, so that I would know your violent and mild reactions...yeah. Thanks! Even it took so long...yeah :D

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lovinkyu #1 Nov 20, 2018 04:41:07

Chapter 51: This fic is frustrating

XiaoShixun #2 Oct 21, 2018 15:04:14

Chapter 50: noooooooooooooo hunhan

XiaoShixun #3 Oct 21, 2018 06:14:19

Chapter 34: it’s frustrating that sehun and luhan missed each other again

XiaoShixun #4 Oct 21, 2018 04:30:58

Chapter 27: aahhhhh so close!!!

XiaoShixun #5 Oct 21, 2018 04:16:56

Chapter 23: so close yet so far

XiaoShixun #6 Oct 21, 2018 03:55:57

Chapter 19: luhan-ah find sehun quickly

XiaoShixun #7 May 24, 2018 12:39:05

Chapter 12: bambi lu

JannDG #8 Nov 24, 2017 13:56:26

OHHHHHH. T^T 'ㅅ'

Nana_2811 #9 Jun 16, 2016 19:58:01

look interesting..i'm gonna read it >_< btw,you're chinese?? ni hao.. :)