Chapter 19
Catch & Fall
Listen to this: Today- Sung joon
When we got home that night, we both quickly washed up and changed into our pyjamas. I tucked Yoha under the sheets and lied down beside her. I looked at her beautiful face and tucked the hair strands behind her ears.
"Woohyun?" She called out.
"Hmm?"
"Do you know what day is it today?"
I thought hard but nothing came in my head. I'm sure it's not her birthday, and neither is mine. I gave up and shook my head. "Today.. is the same day when your mom told me that you'll be marrying me.. What a coincident it is.. Today also marks our 100th day of being together.."
Truth be told, I never marked my calendar about our 100th day anniversary because it really never got into my mind before. All I have ever cared about are the years that we'll be spending together. "Sorry.. I forgot." I said, feeling quite ashamed of myself. She shook her head smiled, "It's okay." And then it that's when it hit me. I just realized that she wanted to be happy today because it was our 100th day together.. Just like the other couples, she wanted to celebrate out 100 days of being married with our friends and loved ones. Aisshh! I should've just kept that in my mind!
"Yoha?"
"Hmm?" She looked at me and waited for me to continue. "I love you.." I finally said. She smiled lovingly and replied "I love you too.." I hugged her near me as she rested her head in my chest.
"After twenty.. thirty.. fourty.. fifty years, we'll still be like this, right?" I asked. "That's too long.." She answered. I looked deep in her eyes and a tear rolled down my eye. "I thought you wanted to be with me? Don't you want us to last for long?" I asked. She shook her head and said, "I don't think I'll still be able to last that long.."
My breathing became heavy when she said those words. I covered my mouth with my left hand and started to cry.
"B-But.. I still want to have children with you.. D-Don't you want to have kids?" She looked at me apologetically and cried as well. "I'm sorry.." I hugged her even tighter this time. "Please don't leave me yet.. I'm not yet ready. Please..." I begged her. She shook her head and replied, "But I have to leave soon.."
My heart sank deep. I know that this would be coming someday, I was just never that brave to face it.
"How soon?" I asked, still crying but she just shrugged.
"Woohyun, please promise me, that whatever happens, you'll continue living a happy life.. with or without me."
I couldn't say yes so I shook my head. She's asking me to promise her that I'll be happy without her, but how I could do that? She was my happiness.
"How am I supposed to be happy if you're not with me?" I asked. She breathed heavily and said, "I'll watch you wherever you go.. I'll always watch you from a far."
Every beat that my heart makes become heavier.. Heavier in each and every pound that makes me want to grasp for more air..
"Woohyun ah? Can I go to sleep now?"
I cried even harder this time. I held her tighter in my arms and just nodded.
"Should I start singing now?" I asked her back..
She smiled as she slowly closed her eyes. My chest was feeling like it's being stabbed for more than hundreds of times..
I started singing the first line of the song..
Still, my tears were falling non- stop. My voice was already croaking.. but I didn't mind.
"I love you so much.. Yoha.."
"Goodnight Woohyun.. I love you, forever and always."
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