3 hrs before the concert

Hu hu hu.....my face is stiff. Even my jaw hurt. What will I do? I can't sing well with this condition.  It's all my fault really. After the suprise party that YG family gave me yesterday, I can't control my smile. I know i look like a crazy woman but  i can't help it. Yes, they gave me a suprise party.  All of them are present including YG sajangnim, they welcome me with open arms.  All my worries are gone after the party.  I even forget my problem with Yunie, which by the way still didn't contact me. It's impossible that he don't know that I'm here. I call Min and Donghae as soon as I arrived. something's wrong with him I think.

I still remember what happen yesterday, when I open the door, I cursed, yeah I cursed loud...know why? I saw  my YG family , even sajangnim. They 're complete even oppa Tablo and his wife. When I saw Bom, CL and Minzy, I run towards thems and gave them a hug. We all cry like a baby. Even TOP, I  saw him wiping his eyes. When I look at Jiyong, he smile and give me a thumbs up sign. Taeyang looks likes he wants to join the girls hugging me ...he.he.he. But the most embarassing moment is when Seungri shouted my name and bawl like a baby...you wanna know what he said|? Ok this is how he said it...

Seungri..... Daraa....nooooooooooooooooona, I misssssssss youuuuuuuu. where have you been? why you didnt contact us? how could you. I hate you for hanging around with them.. he said that in between crying and stomping his feet. Omg, he  really won't stop. So I look at Jiyong for help and that's it.  Just one smacked from their leader, he immediately stop.

After I saw  how they love and missed me, I promise to myself that I would never let them down again. And imagine my shock when they said that we're going to fly to Japan that afternoon. I feel excited about it because at least we're going to perform in stage once again. I wonder If they knew about me and Yunho. And even so, I'm still not open to talk about it yet esp. to the girls. They all adored and love JJ. Speaking of Yunho, I really, really wanted to see him. I know that I will tonight but it's different, and they're not even allowed to talk to me. Is my relationship going to be like this? Kept hidden? Am I not worth to fight for? First with Jae, now with Yunho. Well blame me for wanting to have a famous boyfriends. And wait, even to Donghae and Minho, people didn't knew that they we're actually my best friends.

Bommie is the most excited everytime we're going to Japan. Of course, that's because of Junsu. They're kept it secret too. Only me, JYJ and some of Junsu's close friends knew about it. Speaking of JYJ, I heard that they were also performers tonight. Kyaaaahhh... Jae, Yunho and me in one venue tonight? Omg,  how will I take it? I'm sure there will be no problem, they're both professionals. I don't know why but I feel excited about seeing Jae again. The last time I saw him, he looks different. I don't give any meaning why he's in the coffee shop. For me, it's  just coincidence. I knew we can never be friends , I somehow felt guilty because let's face it , their friendship  is in danger now because of me. I haven't talk to Mickey and Junsu yet. I dont know what they think of me. I hope they support Yunie too, they're friends, right?

Ahhh ok stop now. So much thinking. I better prepare now. As I enter the bathroom door, I saw Bommie talking to someone.It must be Su, but why is she looking at me smiling? Is there something wrong with my face? And looking at her face like that, I knew she was planning on something..hmnnn what could it be?