Journal Entry #1: 

   It’s been a while since I’ve sat down to write like this. 

   If I recall properly, the last time was when I was writing goodbye to Youngjae a year ago. Back then, I had claimed that I was “lonely,” which was partially true but not completely either. I was simply clinging onto a past that was left behind by Youngjae a long time ago without me even noticing it. I was the only one stuck in the past.

   Now, it’s not like that anymore. Even though there are times when I’m reminded of Youngjae and of Jaebum, I smile at the memory. I don’t let my heartache for them anymore. I don’t wake up as much as I used to during the middle of the night, but sleep is still not my friend (and I have a feeling it’ll never be). I’ve met new people over the course of the months that have made the experience a special one, but not special enough for me to stay. This is the purpose of this journal. 

   I’m ready to come back home. 

   (Also, I’ve been told by a friend of mine (Bambam) that I should keep track of myself. It’s true I’ve gotten better, but he won’t stop worrying about me. It’s heartwarming to know that he cares for my well-being, but sometimes it’d be nice if he worried about himself instead.) 

   I won’t move in into my old house. I’m looking at the options and I’m planning on getting one near the Kim Industry since I’m applying there again. Hopefully, they choose me to be the secretary again, and maybe, while I’m working there, something else will happen along the way. I’m not expecting much, but I can’t say that I’m not excited about working there again with my old colleagues. 

   I was hoping that when I finally arrive, I could meet up with everyone. Just like how we were planning on doing on that day before I ran away, with Youngjae, Mark, and I... I want to properly meet them as I was supposed to; as Mark’s friend and former roommate, and as Youngjae’s old friend. 

   I’m stopping here for today. I just received a text message from Bambam indicating that we needed to meet up. I can only guess why he would want to meet up, and it’s not that hard to guess what it is. I just hope Bambam doesn’t make another scene again (drama students nowadays…). 

P.J.