Fear started. “Guys!” shouted Hoshi “Got the choreo complete!” He announced with heavy breathes and sweaty body.

 

Witnessing how fast Hoshi pants from the news he’s brought, the people inside the recording room were having a gist of the execution of their new choreography. Knowing deep inside the challenge, they had all the same thoughts “Oh no. Not again.”

 

Soon Young was dumbfounded when no one answered back. Maybe they just need a few moments to absorb the news because they had just their intense HIT promotion and there comes another one. Assuming another complicated one.

 

“Great job, Soon Youngie!” stated Jeonghan. “I’m sure it will be magnificent. Is it?” he giggled forcibly expecting too much to work out again.

 

People look at him with doubt, except Soon Young and Dino since they mainly contributed to the choreography.

 

“Are you crazy?” murmured Seungcheol beside Jeonghan.

 

“What?”

 

“You’re not expecting anything, are you?” added Joshua with his unidentified expression.

 

“I am. I am expecting too much actually. Let’s set it with HIT, shall we?” Jeonghan’s giggles were somehow doubtful as well, but yeah, it’s not that it’d kill him anyway. He wanted to do his best now, despite his limits.

 

Dino smiled. “That’s the spirit, hyung!”

 

“I know.” Said weakly on a purpose.

 

“You sure you can run through all of that after HIT?” asked Minghao worried that Jeonghan might collapse.

 

“Come what may.” Giggled Jeonghan.

 

“Yeah! Fighting!” shouted Minghao forcibly to hype the boys although he might look a bit troubled of what might happen to them next.

 

People were surprised but “Yeah!” they shouted with their fake conviction. It’s just the voice acting. It’s not really the energy of their body and determination. It showed on their improper posture. Moreover, no one seemed to move like their asses are glued to the sofa.

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The showcase of their new choreography appears really cool in everyone’s eyes. It wasn’t so hard compared to HIT when you look at it. The stunts was doable. They just need to be extra careful but they could pull that off. Their main problem now was the expression of the song and choreography. As Hoshi said “They did not hit its soul.”

 

 As they huddled, the director scolded them for not seeing what she wanted.  “Ya! Pull yourself together!”

 

“Yes, Director.” Responded the boys obediently.

 

During break, they had to figure out what expression they should make. Hoshi was concentrating at the other corner but he caught Jeonghan looking at him. “Hyung~” displayed his cute fluffy reddened face shyly.

 

“Why?” Jeonghan played innocent. “I’m just resting here. Go ahead.”

 

“Please don’t look at me.” Soon Young cutely pleaded.

 

“I get it. Now, resume.” Jeonghan got his camera and roam around to see his next victim. He’s gone to each member, trying to figure out the best expression he could just copy.

 

Vernon noticed him while looking at himself in the mirror. “What are you doing, hyung?”

 

“Just observing.”

 

“You always has the best expression among us here, hyung.”

 

“I do?”

 

“Just make yourself look sleepy. That’s it.”

 

Jun heard his personal quote, per say, based on how he’s getting himself into a y look. “That’s what I am going to do!” Although his execution only disgusted Vernon. No doubt.

 

“No. No hyung. That’s not it.” Vernoon shook his head repeatedly.

 

“How do you do it?”

 

Vernon exposing his new discovered expression to the older ones, the two older male thought that it was nice. They imitated it, but Vernon’s expression has different vibe. Maybe it’s the face value with all the manliness on it.

 

Both sighed and said “That’s not for us.”

 

“Then, make yours. I think I’ll have a break.” Vernon seated near Seungcheol observing that their leader was looking so exhausted. Leaving the two older hyungs play with their faces on the mirror. Later on, hang out with Wonwoo, whom they considered their expression master.

 

Vernon sitting with Seungcheol. “Hyung. How are you doing?”

 

Seungcheol was surprised upon Vernon’s sudden concern but he was moved. “I’m fine. Just resting.”

 

“You look exhausted.”

 

“Me?” Seungcheol smiled. “Yeah. Probably.”

 

“I can listen, you know?”

 

“Will tell everyone later.”

 

“Alright. Will expect that.” Said Vernon before he shuts his mouth and rest.

 

Seungcheol was surprised seeing how mature Vernon acted. He appreciated his gesture. He never saw how mature the kids has become since they started.

 

Later on, Joshua was doing a job secretly. His eyes were roaming around to check people without them noticing. No. 1 on his list was Seungcheol. Even if he wanted it to be Jeonghan, it seemed that he has everybody to look after him. Even Seungcheol would rise up to rescue him- that’s certain.

 

Seungkwan approached but Joshua has a lot in his mind right now that he didn’t notice the younger “Hyung.” the boy called which startled Joshua.

 

“What’s with the reaction, hyung? Is there something bothering you?” with a surprised expression.

 

“Uh-no. I just happen to stare blankly.”

 

“Are you monitoring us without being obvious?” he teased.

 

“Nope.” But of course, Joshua would deny.

 

“I know you, hyung. Don’t worry. I will support you.”

 

“Is your foot okay?”

 

“Yeah. I can dance now, but that expression…” Seungkwan sighed. Distracted on how the double J’s, Jun and Jeonghan, were playing with the others. “They sure know how to distract people.”

 

“Yeah. That’s for sure.”

 

“Don’t worry about us hyung, we are good.” assured Seungkwan if that’s what he’s worried about.

 

“Yeah. I know. There’s just one problem here.”

 

“Who?”

 

“It’s Seungcheol. I hope he’s getting fine. I want you all guys to know how he really is right now but I don’t know if he’s ready.”

 

Seungkwan became anxious about the impending bad news. “Hyung. Is there anything we should know? I mean is it serious?”

 

“If not monitored.”

 

“I see. Then, it’s better if we all know. But how would you make Seungcheol hyung agree with it?”

 

“Will talk to him later.”

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At the end of their practice, Seungcheol took the opportunity to talk to others “Guys, I have to tell you something.” He started with the flow of their schedule and later on “I hope you don’t mind sharing this with you.”

 

Everyone was listening well. In fact, they’ve been waiting.

 

“Is it about your condition?” asked Jihoon.

 

“Yeah. I hate to be a part of another trouble but-”

 

“We’ve been waiting the whole time.” Said Hoshi.

 

“Hope you are doing fine, hyung.” Added DK

 

“Thank you.” Seungcheol sighed heavily. “Well, I have to be honest, I- am diagnosed with anxiety problems, so I guess sometimes I am fine, sometimes I am not.” Meanwhile, he saw Joshua smiling and telling him with his nod to carry on.

 

“How are you keeping up, hyung?” asked Wonwoo with concern.

 

“It’s a rollercoaster and I can’t tell.”

 

The others were worried. “Seungcheol.” Called Jeonghan sweetly. “Don’t push yourself too much.”

 

“That’s what I keep on telling him.” Joshua complained softly at the back.

 

“Something hurting you?” asked Minghao.

 

“Please, I don’t want you to worry much.” Said Seungcheol. “I am taking action, so I will do my best to recover fast.”

 

“Hyung, let us help. It’s not weakness.” Jun suddenly interrupted while the others agreed.

 

“We will get through this.” Smiled Seungkwan.

 

“Just tell us whenever you are feeling uncomfortable. We’ll behave well.” Added Dino.

 

“Just be honest, hyung.” Said Vernon.

 

“So, how are you feeling exactly right now?” asked Mingyu. “Is there anything we can do about it?” later on running to the door, to make sure its locked and no one would enter since it’s a very sensitive issue. Also, to protect the team. He can sense crying on this since the members has the weakest heart.

 

“Well, I-“ looking down, getting shy to answer when he noticed that the boys slowly gathered tight around him.

 

“Don’t worry. You are safe with us, hyung.” Said Seungkwan comfortingly. While Hoshi embraced him while rubbing his cheeks on Seungcheol’s face.

 

Seungcheol smiled but they could see the difficulties and the pending tears from his eyes to shed. “Thank you.”

 

“You said to be honest, Coups. I know it’s hard but once you release it, it’d be easy.” Said Jeonghan. “Trust me.”

 

Seungcheol explained the things he physically and mentally feel. “My heart palpitates so fast. I don’t know how to stop it. Sometimes, it’s really bothersome, I couldn’t sleep at night even if I want to or even if I am totally exhausted… It’s- It’s really exhausting.” with a heavy sigh, Seungcheol cried. Exposing his weak self to the younger members, he didn’t mind anymore. “There’s also times that I-I feel I don’t want to go to the stage anymore. I can feel the weight. I cannot breathe.”

 

It surprised the others learning that it was that bad. They were afraid that he experienced trauma or some depression in it. Actually, Seungcheol was having symptoms of being depressed but of course, they wouldn’t allow.  Not in their watch.

 

Meanwhile, becoming aware that what he said was quite painful, especially for those who were passionate on stage, he was surprised that no one reacted. Still, he couldn’t see disappointments on their faces. Not a single hint. He was actually expecting harsh treatment or words, the members said “Hyung, it’s not bad to not want to do things. We know you are tired. It’s normal but we know this is not just it.” Stated Mingyu.

 

“I don’t know, Mingyu. It just feels heavy sometimes.” Confessing the truth about being in the spotlight. “It’s hard for me to- to get myself back into loving stage again.”

 

It was worrisome but Jihoon said “We’ll work on that, hyung.” With a smile. “If you need rest, please do so. We can manage until you are ready again.”

 

“I really don’t know Jihoon. You are important to me. Seventeen and Carats are important to me but there’s something. There’s something I don’t want to see. It’s like-“ with dripping tears on his beautiful face. “It’s something weakening, I can’t stand on it. It’s torturing me in every performance. In every light. In every cheer. I don’t know why. I loved all of those before.” He expressed looking more confused. He’s talking about his dream being a nightmare.

 

Knowing how Seungcheol feels each time, the members felt terrible and worried. Joshua thought it went deeper on him already. That’s what he’s afraid of, now, he had to speak “Let’s date soon, Coups. You can’t be like this for a long time.”

 

“I know.” Murmured Seungcheol.

 

“Don’t try to be strong when you are weak, it’s okay to lay low. It’s okay to be seen weak as long as you wanted to recover. The dark side is not easy to get through but we know you can escape from that.” Said Jeonghan.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Hyung, we’ll help you find the spark again.” Said Wonwoo. “It’s probably the toxicity of behind all the glamour. We can fix this together.”

 

“I agree. If it weren’t for us, I probably quit as early as the trainee years.” Coming from Joshua himself.

 

“It’s really terrifying to know that you’ve come to hate all the things that makes you happy. If I were in your position, hyung, I would feel really lost.” Said Minghao, who loves performing. “If you need anything. And if there’s something bothering you, even if you don’t know what it is, just tell us.”

 

“Maybe you need some time to chill… to look back again.” Said Mingyu. “If you want, we can go somewhere else.”

 

“Yeah! Maybe some peaceful places.” The young ones agreed. “We’ll be right here, like you always say.” Said Dino with his charming smile.

 

Seungcheol smiled as he wiped his tears. “Thank you.”

 

Everyone cuddled him gently.

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When they were on their way home, Joshua was still spacing out. Jeonghan beside him, on the contrary, was sleeping peacefully. He looked pretty exhausted. He thought he might have to do something to lift his team’s spirit up. He asked all the vans to stop by a café because he wanted to buy s cakes and favorite drinks as a little reward for their hard work.

 

“What’s up, hyung?” asked Seungkwan. “You gonna treat us?”

 

“List down the food you like.” He hinted he’d pay. Everybody became excited.

 

Joshua was glad seeing his friends all hyped up. “This is wonderful.” he murmured.

 

“Are you worried about something?” asked Jihoon seeing how unpaintable Joshua’s face has become.

 

“It’s just that- I don’t want to see you in Seungcheol’s situation. Especially those of you who really live for stage. So, let’s live happily.” Said Joshua lovingly.

 

The boys were moved and were really grateful of Joshua. When the list was finished, Jihoon volunteered to be left alone with Jeonghan, who was still sleeping, since he’s not kind of a social person. Besides, someone has to look after Jeonghan even if their driver/ manager was present.

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Delivering the goods to the vans parked by the café, Joshua teased. “Claim yours after a kiss.” Joshua leaning his left or right cheek to those people who’d receive their small token for working hard.

 

Hiphop team van.

Seungcheol was happy until Joshua asked for a kiss in return. “Ya. I’m not a kid anymore!”

 

“Yes, you are. You ordered a chocolate cake, sweetheart.”

 

“Hey! Adults can order those stuffs too!”

 

Joshua looked at him with a tease on his smirk, letting Seungcheol know that there’s no win for him “The others are waiting, leader-nim.”

 

“Aigoo, do it now, hyung!” said Mingyu preparing his lips to kiss Joshua’s fluffy cheeks.

 

“This is absurd.” Seungcheol murmured.

 

“Do we really need to do this, hyung?” asked Wonwoo worriedly with eyes fixed on what he ordered. Luckily for Joshua, Wonwoo was vulnerable to the dare since he’s been craving it for days now. “Hyung, you need to hurry, my ice blended beverage is melting.” Encouraged him.

 

Vernon was surprised with Wonwoo’s response. “You are doing it, hyung?”

 

“Why not? I get my food for free… and it’s melting now, so hyung! Hurry!”

 

“You heard the boy.” Said Joshua teasingly.

 

“Aigoo. What’s gotten into you?”

 

“Nothing.” he smiled. “I just miss all of you guys.”

 

“Hyung, can we claim ours?” Vernon asked hurriedly. He too was ready for the claiming.

 

Later on, Mingyu interrupted “Hyung, my lips are ready.” Gulping from the invitation of his cake and drinks.

 

“No one’s going to get their reward unless Seungcheol kisses me first.”

 

“Ei, hurry, hyung! It’s just a kiss on the cheeks!” shouted the three.

 

Seungcheol got a lot of pressure when their manager as well. Although, no need for a manger to kiss. “There’s nothing wrong with a kiss on the cheeks, Seungcheol.”

 

“Eiiii!”

 

“You are a kid Seungcheol, it’s okay.” Giggled their manager. “Be a good boy. These are really good! Thank you Joshua.” starting eating his own while waiting.

 

No choice. Seungcheol had to use his charms for a sumptuous treat. With the humiliation and quite adorable charms, Joshua was satisfied.

 

Wonwoo dives in to a kiss as soon as possible and received his goodies. “Gotcha!”

 

Vernon was the second which was quite cute because he’s like a little brother to him and lastly, Mingyu. Although, Joshua felt like backing out from Mingyu’s kiss due to how big his pout was. “Ya. You can kiss me in a normal way.” Afraid of the saliva that would stick onto his cheeks afterwards.

 

“Thank you!” shouted all of them.

 

While Joshua replied in return “Thank you for doing a great job.” And a smile.

 

Performance unit_ Joshua came with his two assistants like Santa Clause giving the same conditions as Hiphop team. Unlike Seungcheol, he’s got kisses willingly. No sweat. Hoshi gave the same kiss as Mingyu. Dino did a quick one. While The8 gave an elegant one. “Jun.” called Joshua to the last person in that van while busy picking Jun’s order. Meanwhile, as the younger became very excited, he reached for Joshua to give him a kiss on the cheeks. However, it ended up on the lips after Josh lifted his head with the food.

 

 “Jun hyung! What are you doing?” quite surprised even though Dino knew it was just an accident.

 

Jun giggled “Sorry.”

 

Last but not the least, Vocal team’s van_ “Hey! I want a kiss before you get these, just like the others. No exemption!”

 

DK and Seungkwan easily gave in. Woozi, on the other hand, was shy at first but decided to do the kiss coolly for the sake of food saying a small “thank you.”

 

Joshua teased Jihoon “You made my day, Jihoon. Of all the bacteria I’ve came across, you are like yakult with good bacteria.” He giggled as well as the others.

 

They didn’t think Jeonghan would wake up soon, so they set aside his food for the meantime so he could eat it when he wakes up.