My strides to the dorm felt light. It was as if a burden had been lifted off my shoulders.

Finally I had someone to talk to

Maybe things would be ok in the end

JiHyung didn’t ask questions when I returned. He just gave a curt nod and then let me do what I needed to.

Gyuri hadn’t come home from wherever she was. Maybe she was drinking; it concerned me how much she was drinking behind the scenes. I think she was falling apart. I would have been the same.

If it wasn’t for him being there.

Junhyung oppa… I don’t know why I’m like this.

Thank you so much, for listening to a weak person like me.

Before I went to bed that night I sent a message to him.

 Sorry oppa I forgot to say thank you earlier. So thank you kekeke (^_^)

I then let my phone charge and went to bed, my mind at peace. I was only just falling asleep as my phone suddenly alerted me that I had a message.

You’re welcome.

He was straight forward, I liked that about him. He didn’t hold anything back.

*

March 16th

I didn’t leave the dorms much except for schedules which continued as usual. Gyuri had her own activities such as the radio show with Shindong so it kept our minds off things.

I’d just come back from filming a commercial film when I got a message from Nicole:

Hara-ya, I miss you.

I just gripped the phone tight. I missed her too, but right now I didn’t want to sound hostile or hide how I felt. Right now, I didn’t know where she stood with the company. She was close with the trio of JYJ but there were suspicions that her mother conversing with Jaejoong was the reason behind the lawsuit.

Oh Nicole, if only you knew what was right.

Gyuri returned her head down almost hidden under her cap. She brushed off JiHyung when he tried to pat her on the shoulder.

I decided to ask him when he sat opposite me at the table. “What happened?”

“The other girls don’t want to go to Japan.”

“They postponed again?” Now it was my chance to sigh heavily. “We have to film the last episode and that’s it.”

“I know Hara-ya,” he caught himself. I’d never seen him like this. As he continued talking he avoided my gaze. “They’re going to join us in two days after we’ve arrived so please try to get along.”

He was right. It was the last episode of our show. Once we were finished filming then we could do whatever it was that we wanted to do. Maybe then those three would hurry up and leave.

I’m sure Gyuri and I would be ok.

*

March 20

At the airport we met the other three with a dismal attitude. Bitter blood had formed between us all since the lawsuit and it was their only schedule that they couldn’t get out of.

JiHyung seemed to be glued to my side as we went into the plane. I could swear I saw people eye us but that was normal. When you’re famous people may even stare at you when you sleep.

On the plane the others slept while I checked twitter on the plane. I’d left a short status just to assure my fans that the filming for Urakara hadn’t been postponed again:

On my way to sunny Japan hehe

I got a few ‘good lucks’ from fans as replies. Never expected Junhyung to send me a direct message:

All the best.

I smiled to myself; I glanced at our manager who was asleep next to me. He looked adorable with his headphones lopsided on his head. For a manager he didn’t seem like one. He was almost good looking, in a big brother way. All of a sudden he started to murmur in his sleep causing me to jump.

“Err… what’s the time?”

He kept sleeping for a bit until I whispered. “It’s nine thirty am.”

“Oh,” this was fun. “We needed to be at the airport for seven.” At this I covered my mouth to giggle.

“You made the flight.”

“Good, good.” He was more approachable when he wasn’t fully awake or aware of his actions. “They need to finish their show so they can be friends again.”

Right then I didn’t know whether he was being serious or if it just meant business.
“Yes sir, all of them are nice… Very nice…” With that he was quiet and I decided to leave it for now.

In the dorms we all went to the rooms to unpack our belongings. YoungGyu was barely awake when he assembled us to go and wait for our vehicle. His voice sounded bleary while he spoke someone on the phone.

“Who’s he talking to?” Nicole whispered to Jiyoung who shrugged. YoungGyu did sound as if he was having a very somber conversation. A lot of the time while in the conversation he played with his hair.
“Yes, I’m finishing it up soon. The paperwork will be on your desk next Monday I promise.”  We didn’t think much of it.

*

March 24

Still jet-lagged and sleepy we all got back on the plane to return home. However someone else joined the five of us on the flight.
“Who are you?” Gyuri asked the unfamiliar stranger.

“Your manager,” how were we meant to take him seriously? The five of us looked at each other clueless.

“Did you see him leave this morning?” Nicole whispered to us. All of us shook our heads. Then we began to think.

Was he sick? Did he get a particular phone call while we were abroad?

Did he act any different?

Eventually Seungyeon spoke up. “He did seem distracted while we were filming for urakara. Maybe you’ll find out when you return to the dorms.” I agreed. Someone would know what is happening.

As we parted ways with the other two Gyuri and I were left with the stranger who just grunted as his way of saying to us, ‘come with me.’

“Ok ahjussi,” I was shocked at Gyuri’s rudeness. “Tell us what happened with JiHyung oppa! Where is he?” The man sneezed, rubbing his nose with his hand and then onto the steering wheel. Both Gyuri and I pulled faces.

“Kwon JiHyung resigned from DSP on Saturday morning.”

WHAT

Gyuri leaned forward in her seat to stare at him. “W-what do you mean resigned?!”

“He gave in his resignation this morning that’s all I know.” We decided he wasn’t going to be much help. But that wasn’t the main point; I think both Gyuri and I were devastated. We trusted JiHyung; he’d been there in the beginning, with Nicole, Gyuri and Seungyeon. He was our support and our listening ear.

What made him leave?

*

                                                                                      A/N Soundtrack

Gyuri became very quiet after the news, but soon changed when she went to call the human resources manager to find out what had happened.

My heart was heavy and my hope deferred. It was like he betrayed me. We needed him still and he’d left us.

Damn it.

I hate you JiHyung.

My blues changed to a red hot anger. I grabbed my suitcase and flung it open, scattering the contents in waves of fabric and clunks of heavy objects. There was one thing which fluttered.

How did that get in my luggage?

I don’t remember writing a letter. I knelt down and picked it up. It was written on pink paper.

Goo Hara

Not knowing who wrote it or why I just un-folded it and began reading it.

“To, Goo Hara; this is JiHyung speaking.” I swallowed, letting that part sink in. “Forgive me; I’m a coward for leaving without saying goodbye or being honest. I knew that if I told you why I had to leave then you would try to make me stay.”

What made him a coward? Why did he leave?

“I wrote letters to all five of you. I did it before we left to Japan. I regretfully had decided to quit a month ago.”

He’d decided a while ago?

“I told my supervisor and the representative that I wanted a change in jobs. I wanted to work for someone else. My contract was due to expire in June but I couldn’t take it. I knew that if I waited until then my heart would explode.”

Poor JiHyung, my eyes welled up. If only I’d known that he had been in such pain.

“I left because I couldn’t allow myself to work with someone I had romantic feelings for.” That caught me off guard. Who could he have been talking about?

“Hara-ya, I’m eight years older than you. Still it wouldn’t be right in the eyes of God for me to act on my feelings. I imagined that as a manager that I would be able to manage the five of you without getting tangled in my emotions. However I was wrong. I made the mistake of seeing of you, not as someone I’m managing. I saw you as someone I needed to protect.”

I didn’t want to read it anymore but there was not much left. “Seeing someone so vulnerable, I don’t know why but seeing you so drained and depressed really hurt me. That was when I realized I couldn’t do this anymore; I couldn’t be your manager. Not when I wanted to hold you but not like a manager could or should.”

Now everything made sense. He’d left just because of me. I didn’t know how to feel about that.

“Hara, be strong. Look out for the other members of Kara, I’ll watch you from where I am. Don’t look for me or ask where I am, it’s for the better. Good luck, JiHyung.”

I exploded, not in the rage I imagined I would at first. My insides were blue again; I sat against my bed, burying my face in my knees, fighting to hold everything in.

But I couldn’t. Not like I thought I could.

Eyes blurring, breathing steady as the began. Here alone I held the letter away from the path of my tears. It was the only thing I had left of our manager.

Come back JiHyung.

****************************************
*Sound of chairs scraping against floor* I think that’s the cue for a lot of subbers to leave (no please stay I’m sorry for this crime)

You see I committed a crime called a level 2 cliché. Level 1 cliches are the typical Mary Sue characters or the cold hearted guy being the one in love with the main lead. Here it’s a more advanced cliché but it’s still a cliché.

Ahhh I hope you liked the soundtrack at least. I owed you all a long update so here.