Was I Wrong?

Snapping my head back, I see Yoochun standing a few feet away, a hurt and confused look on his face.

He rushes up to her, but stops when he sees her cold face. “I thought you were still in Seoul. What are you doing here?”

“Business,” she says nonchalantly, only a sliver of surprise crossing her face.

“Jaehwa, who’s that guy? Why’d you let him kiss you?”

“He’s my boyfriend.”

Yoochun’s face is wiped of expression. “But...I’m your boyfriend.”

“Not anymore,” Jaehwa tells him with a shrug. Looking at her hands, she adjusts one of her bracelets. “I guess I forgot to tell you we broke up. My bad.”

“But,...Jaehwa,...I love you.”

She glances back at him with disinterested disdain. “Love? I never even liked you, Yoochun. I just used you. Remember that reporter that caught us? I told him we’d be there. We looked good together, but being with you was a career move to get more publicity. Now, I found someone who can do it better.”

Yoochun stares at her speechlessly.

The man comes back and puts a possessive arm around her waist. In American-accented English, he asks, “Is this guy bothering you, Jacqueline?”

Dropping her iciness, Jaehwa smiles and kisses him. “No, honey. He’s an old acquaintance I worked with once. Park Yoochun, this is my boyfriend, Brian Quincy, co-head of Triangle Media. They own hundreds of magazines and advertising firms.”

“Nice to meet you,” he nods. “If you’ll excuse us, we have a dinner reservation soon.”

“It was nice to see you again, Yoochun,” Jaehwa smiles again, leaning forward to press her cheek to his before walking away, clinging to Brian’s arm. “See you around.”

My fingernails bite into my palms as I watch the exchange. It doesn’t help when Jaehwa looks back, catches my eye, and puckers her lips with a mocking sneer. I’m torn between running after them to smack her for her callousness and running to Yoochun. My feet make the decision for me, quickly moving to my friend.

I grab his arm. “Yoochun, are you okay?”

He stands unmoving, gazing after her.

I move in front of him, taking both of his hands. “Yoochun? Oppa, please answer me. Look at me,” I say, putting one hand on his face to bring his gaze downward to mine.

He looks at me, but I don’t think he sees me.

“Yoochun,” I repeat quietly.

Wordlessly, he pulls himself from my grasp, backing away. Suddenly, he turns and runs. I chase him, following him to his room. He slams the door. I pound my fist into the door, calling his name, but there’s no answer. I sink to the floor. Still shaking, I curl my knees up and hide my face.

“____?” a worried voice asks.

I peek through my hair to see Junsu kneel down in front of me.

“_____? Are you all right? What happened, ____?” he asks, growing more concerned as I refuse to look at him, not wanting him to see me on the verge of angry tears.

“What’s wrong with _______?” Changmin asks, coming out of his room to kneel on my other side.

“I don’t know. She won’t even look at me. I’m going to get Yunho.”

I hear Junsu take off down the hall. Changmin remains by my side, reaching out to lay a timid hand on my shoulder. At his touch, I throw my arms around his shoulders and allow my tears to flow.

His arms encircle me and he pulls me into his chest, one hand gently my hair. “Come on, noona. You can tell me, right? Is it Yoochun hyung?”

My only answer is to cry more.

“________? What’s wrong?” Jaejoong’s voice suddenly asks.

“I don’t know,” Changmin says. “She was just sitting here shaking when I came out and then she started crying. She won’t tell me. Junsu went to get Yunho hyung.”

Jaejoong takes Junsu’s place, putting a comforting hand on my back. By this time, I hear quick footsteps.

“Has she said anything?” Yunho asks, bending down in front of me.

“Nothing,” Changmin answers.

“_____,” he says gently. “____, look at me.”

I try to quiet my tears and do as he says. He examines my face before taking a handkerchief from his pocket and wiping away the wetness on my cheeks.

“What’s wrong, _____? Does it have to do with Yoochun?”

I nod.

“Did he find out you like him? Did he hurt you? Yoochun,” he says loudly, standing and banging on the door.

“She likes Yoochun?” I hear Junsu whisper before Jaejoong hushes him.

There’s no answer.

Yunho tries again. “Yoochun! Open this door!”

I quickly tug on his jacket, frantically shaking my head. He comes back to my level.

I take a deep breath. “Please don’t, oppa...He’s the one hurt, not me.”

“Then why are you crying?” Junsu asks, puzzled.

“Because he’s hurt and I can’t do anything about it.”

“________, tell me what happened,” Yunho tells me, bringing my attention back to him.

“She was using him,” I say quietly, the anger and sadness mixing in my voice.

“Who was using him? What happened?”

“Jaehwa. She’s here...and she was in the lobby...with another man. She told Yoochun....she told him she never even liked him, that she was just using him to get her name out, that it slipped her mind that she broke up with him...then she walked away, like it was nothing. Like he was nothing.”

The others listen in stunned silence. Junsu and Jaejoong look toward the door with worried faces while Changmin and Yunho’s eyes darken with the same anger I feel.

“That...” Changmin growls, unable to finish his sentence. His arms tighten unconsciously around my shoulder.

“But Yoochun loves her. How could she do that?” Junsu asks.

“Some people are like that,” Yunho says quietly. “Why didn’t we realize she was like this before?”

“I didn’t like her,” Changmin mutters.

“Because we wanted Yoochun to be happy,” I reply quietly in response to Yunho.

Yunho stands and knocks on the door again. “Yoochun. I know you can hear me. Are you all right?”

“Go away,” the muffled reply comes.

“Please let us in. Talk to us,” Junsu pleads, coming to stand beside Yunho.

“Just leave me alone!”

Junsu looks hurt and about to cry. Yunho squeezes his arm, bringing him back to us.

“What are we going to do, hyung?” Changmin asks.

“Wait. He’s not coming out until he’s ready. If he’s still not ready tomorrow, we’ll tell Mr. Choi he’s sick. Until then, one of us should stay here in case he decides to talk.”

“I’ll do it first,” Junsu says.

Yunho nods. “We’ll be back. Until then, let’s get ______ out of here.”

Before I know it I find myself swept up by Changmin. Yunho and Jaejoong walk a little ahead, opening my door.

“Mianhae,” I whisper as Changmin gently deposits me on the bed. “I shouldn’t be like this...crying like an idiot, causing trouble.”

“It’s all right, noona,” he assures me, sitting beside me. “We understand. When someone you love gets hurt, you feel just as much if not more pain as them because you didn’t prevent it. You should’ve seen us when Yunho hyung got poisoned.”

I whip my head up to look at Yunho, temporarily forgetting the current situation. “You were poisoned?”

“By an anti. It was a few years ago though,” Yunho says.

“She put glue in his drink, but she turned herself in later,” Jaejoong explains, sitting on my other side. “The rest of us were a mess. Even after he got out of the hospital and kept telling us he was fine we were still really emotional for a while. We finally had to except we couldn’t have prevented it and move on.”

“But I could’ve,” I quietly contradict, half to myself.

Changmin rolls his eyes. “Noona, you couldn’t-”

“But I knew she was really like this after all the times she-”

“_____, what haven’t you been telling us?” Yunho asks, dragging a chair over to sit in front of me. “And don’t lie. Was Jaehwa bullying you before?”

Looking down, I shake my head. “Nothing.”

Cool fingers lift my chin, making me meet Jaejoong’s eyes. Softly, he coaxes, “_____, tell us.”

Slowly, Jaehwa’s hurtful words and actions spill from my lips. I’m too ashamed to look at the three of them. Wiping at my eyes, I say, “I could’ve stopped it. If I’d told him before, instead of being a coward.”

Changmin sighs in the quiet and flicks the side of my head. “Some things’ll never change. You’re still a stubborn, selfless pabo, noona.”

“_____, this is in no way your fault, even with what you told us,” Jaejoong says firmly. “You should’ve told us so we could’ve helped you, but with people like Jaehwa...”

“There’s nothing you can do; someone’s always going to get hurt,” Yunho finishes. “The only thing you can do is be there to catch them when they fall.”

I can’t stop the image of Yoochun’s face in that moment from replaying in my head. The others are long gone after I assured them I’d be fine, knowing they needed to get some sleep for tomorrow.I want to scream knowing how much pain my friend is in and that he won’t let me help. After tossing for hours, I look at the bedside table to find the clock reading almost four am. I give up on trying to sleep.

Wrapping the blanket around my shoulders, I walk out onto my balcony, hoping the cool night air will help my restlessness. I look up at the moon and distant stars, envying their tranquility. As my gaze drifts earthward toward the courtyard and its moonlit pools, I catch sight of a figure sitting on the bridge connecting the two pond banks.

Even without being able to see his face, I know it’s Yoochun. Walking quickly out of my room, I forgo the elevator in my haste, choosing to run down the stairs. However, once I reach the glass doors into the courtyard, I stop. I press a hand against the glass, unsure of whether Yoochun would accept my presence.

“Go to him.”

I jump and spin to my left. Jaejoong, his arms crossed, emerges from the shadows to stand beside me. “I followed him to make sure he was all right, but I don’t think I’m who he needs right now.”

“But,... I don’t think I am either,” I say slowly, trying to ignore the part of me that wants to fly to him.

“You are. He needs you, ____.” Jaejoong opens the doors and gives me a push. When I look back at him, he gives me a small smile and motions toward Yoochun.

Turning around, I pull the blanket tighter and take a deep breath before timidly making my way forward. When I reach the bridge, I hesitate again. Slowly, I sink down beside Yoochun, leaving some space between us. He doesn’t acknowledge my existence, his face empty of expression. He sits, motionless except for a few involuntary shivers. I slowly inch closer, keeping my eyes on Yoochun’s face, watching for even a hint of emotion. Moving even more slowly, I take the blanket off and spread it over his shoulders, careful not to touch him.

As I pull back from adjusting the blanket, I notice a wet spot on his pants. Looking at his face, I see a tear trickling down his face. Ignoring the increased ache in my heart, I take one edge of the blanket and silently dab them away as they fall. He responds slowly to my touch, as if waking from a dream, eventually raising a hand to still my wrist and turning his face toward mine.

His eyes, still blurred from tears, gaze into mine. In a voice barely above a whisper, Yoochun asks, “Why?”