24.
From Your Style to Your Smile.
I turned off my phone, shut the world out and told my parents that if anyone came for me to just say I wasn't home. School was nearing and I thought maybe I should leave, I didn't want to be at school, I didn't want to see him there, I didn't want to be reminded of him. I wanted to leave Seoul...go back to that small town I adore, that way I don't have to deal with any of this. I was thinking about bringing it up to my parents, to let me go back but I would lose everything I had...I had already lost everything...I called Yanggaeng and asked him if I could take some time off because I felt if I had stayed at YG, I would run into Tabi. Yanggaeng agreed to it saying if I had problems I could just tell him. A protective barrier had surrounded my heart. I decided I should just do it, at least for while. While eating dinner with my parents I asked them about it. I told them I really needed to go back, even if just for a little while and they said okay. I was to stay with Jieun, the quiet girl. I packed up and dad drove me back to the town I held dearly in my heart, it was because of this place that I am who I am today, to have found my passion.
Driving down familiar roads was great. I rolled the window down and looked outside. Mountains, grass, hills, trees, ahhh, I love this place. "Remember to call us every now and then." Dad said. "I will. You and mom take care." I said. I searched my bag for my phone when I remembered I had it disconnected. Coming here, I figured I didn't need a phone. If I need to call dad and mom I could just use one of the phones here. Before disconnecting my phone I let Jiyeon know that I was disconnecting it and moving. She asked why but all I told her was because things came up and I had to. I didn't want to lie to her but I couldn't help it in this situation. I hope she does well and isn't too mad at me. "Okay. See you darling." Dad smiled. "Bye Dad." I kissed his cheek and grabbed my bags out of the back.
"Hi Jieun." I said seeing her playing a guitar. "Hi Haeri! Let me help you with that." She said setting her guitar down and helping me bring my things to her room. After things were settled, I changed, left the house and went for a run.
While on my run I remembered how the country air felt. It was definitely better than Seoul's air. I ran across the bridge, the path I had walked across thousands of times. It felt good to be back here. It might not have felt so great back then but it felt great now. While on my run I see someone.
"Eli!!!" The chubbier guy who loved food. He had definitely lost all his baby fat. "Oh? Haeri! I heard you were coming back but I didn't believe it!" He smiled at me. "Ahaha, well I'm back." I smiled. "You're staying with Jieun right?" He asked. "Yes, I am!" I smiled at how great it was to be talking to him again. "Mind if I ask why you're back?" He asked. "...Just missed this place." I said. "Oh." He said as his phone rang. After he finished talking, he looked at me. "The others heard you were back and are planning to get together right now." He said. "Oh?! Okay, let's go then!" I said.
Eli and I were on our way when, "Eli!" I turn back to see...Seungho. The mysterious cool guy. LOL. "Haeri!" He said waved. "Hello Seungho!" I smiled. "Even though we just saw each other a few weeks ago, this has a better feeling to it." He said. "Ahahah, that's because she's here to stay." Eli said. I smiled, this feeling felt great. "Well let's go, the others are probably waiting!" Seungho said as we all walked side by side.
Just as we were walking I see someone out in the field. "Lizzy-ah!!" I called out her name. She was the girl who wished she lived the city life. "Haeri!!" She shouted and then running to where, Eli, Seungho and I was. "How are you?!" She asked. "I'm better now." I smiled. "Come on, let's get going!" Lizzy said as she pulled me forward. "Yeah, we can talk once we get there. We don't want to keep the other two waiting any longer."
We were almost there when I see Kai. "Kai!" I shouted. "Oh! Haeri, oh everyone." He said. "You look tired." I said to him. "Yeah, I was dancing and sort of didn't have much sleep last night." He said. "Well let's go in. Jieun must be waiting for us." Seungho said as he entered the shop first. "Jieun would be the first one to get here." Lizzy smiled. We all went in and there Jieun was, sitting at a table and we all went to sit down. Seungho sat next to Jieun, Kai next to him, then it was Lizzy, me and Eli on the other side. I know I had said we were just people who knew each other in the beginning but sitting here with the 5 of them right now made me realize they were much more than that. They were friends. We all were friends trying to find our own place, our own lives in this small little town. We were all alike in a way.
"Why are you back here?" "How was Seoul?" "Are you staying here until you graduate?" Questions from the others came rolling out of their tongues. "Ahaha, I just needed some time away and I felt this was the best place for me to figure out a few things. I don't know how long I am staying, it really just depends on things. Seoul had it's moments." I said. "Anyways, how are you all?! Are you two finally dating now?" I asked pointing at Seungho and Jieun. "See, told you!" Eli said. "Ahahhaa!" Lizzy and Kai laughed. "We are." Jieun said. "So you all thought we would date?" Seungho asked. "Yeah." The rest of us said. "Since when?!" Seungho asked. "Umm...sort of the beginning? I just had a feeling you two would get together." I said. "Same here." Lizzy, Eli and Kai said. "Well I guess." Seungho said. "Well I found out that Kai dances now. I saw you playing the guitar earlier." I said looking at Jieun. "Oh yes. That guitar is my life." She smiled. "Well that's good." I said. "Do you still sew?" Asked Lizzy. "I do, although I haven't as much since I had a job in Seoul." I said. "So, Jieun has her guitar, Kai dances, what do you do Lizzy? Still wish for the city life?" I asked. "Sort of...I mean I would love it but I've come to appreciate the country life. This is where I grew up and I will bring it wherever I go." Lizzy said. "How about you Eli? I see you've lost your baby fat." I smiled remembering how he used to be in the past. "After you left, he was always running, he still eats a lot but because he ran so much he lost all that weight." Kai said. "Well that's good, Eli. You look great!" I smiled. "How about you Seungho? What have you been up to?" I asked. "I don't know. Nothing I guess." Seungho said. "What?! Liar. He wants to be an actor so he's been slowly trying to get into an agency." Jieun said. "Wow! That's great!" I said. "Yep! It seems Seungho here will be the one who gets famous out of the 6 of us." Kai said. We spent the rest of the time talking.
It was my first night here and thoughts of Tabi wouldn't leave me. He was all I could think about, everything replayed, the good, the bad and our ending. I couldn't believe it happened. I wonder if this would have happened if I didn't make love with him the other night...what am I thinking, I was still just a game to him in the end. Nothing was real...nothing at all. My heart was gone and there was a hole there. Tabi, was I really just a game? Tears fell down my face and there was nothing I could do to stop them. I should just forget him. He did me wrong so he deserves no space in my heart or my mind. Goodbye Tabi.
About 3 weeks had passed and the 6 of us were always together. I guess we grew to really appreciate one another. We would go out to the mountains, we explored, had late night get togethers, slept over at one another's place, cooked together and we all had just grown a very strong bond together. I now understand why so many movies are like that, because it was true, well my life proved it was true. The 6 of us were the only 16/17 year olds in this town, so we naturally spent a lot of time together and we ended up depending on one another, our friendship was inseperable. I think i'd even go as far as saying we were all best friends. We told each other everything...well there wasn't much to tell since this town was small and nothing exciting usually happened. We always just had fun together. Today was Friday so we were meeting up and going to take a small trip to the next closest town which was bigger than ours. We all got packed and Eli was going to drive us there with his parent's van.
Eli drove, I was sitting in the passenger side, Lizzy and Kai sat in the middle and then Seungho and Jieun sat in the back. The next town was roughly 30 minutes away so we just sat there, listened to music and looked out the window. We were all sitting in silence but it didn't feel awkward at all. I guess the reason is because we were all such good friends that silence was nothing to us. We stopped by a restaurant and ate before we went grocery shopping and to the beach. We spent the day at the beach, went shopping, walked around and then Eli drove us to the hotel where we were going to spend the night. We got just one room to save us money and then carried all our things inside. "Let's go to Seoul!" Lizzy said. Seoul? "Seoul? For what?" Seungho asked. The Seoul that I had left? "Because we're already out and might as well go all the way! I mean Seoul is only another hour away!" Lizzy said. "I have been wanting to get back to Seoul." Kai said. Why Seoul of all places? "Well...I gues, I don't mind but it depends on everyone." Eli said. "I say yes!" Lizzy said. Was I ready to go back to Seoul? "Me too!" Kai said. What if I bump into Seunghyun? "...Okay." Jieun said. Or Junhyung. "Sure, why not, since everyone wants to." Seungho said. Wait, I'm over it, aren't I? "Haeri?" Eli said my name. It's already been like a month, plus I decided not to care anymore. "Haeri!" Eli said louder breaking my chain of thoughts. "How about it? How about we go to Seoul?" Eli asked.
"Haeri!" Mom shouted as I entered the door. "Hello, Jieun, Lizzy, Seungho, Eli and Kai. It's nice to see you guys again. Well come in." Mom said to the others. Jieun, Lizzy and I brought out things up to my room and the guys just set their things down in the living room. We then left for a 'fun' day out. "Where should we go Haeri?" Everyone asked. "Anywhere, I mean there are tons of things to do so anything would be fine." I smiled. We get some food and hang out the entire day, thankfully I saw no one I knew until..."Haeri!" It was a guy's voice. Please, oh please....
"It is you!" Kikwang said. I was relieved it was only Kikwang. "Hello, oppa." I said. "Where have you been?!" He asked. "Ahh, sort of moved?" I told him. "What?! You did? Why didn't you tell me?!" He asked. "It was sort of sudden." I said. "Well are you back now? Work hasn't been very fun without you there! We all miss you!" He asked. "Ahahha, I miss you guys too. But no I am not back, just here with a few friends." I smiled. God how I really did miss everyone at YG. "Well move back! Now!" He said louder. "Ahahha, Oppa, I can't, not yet..." I said. "Okay, I understand, I will be waiting for you." He said coming closer to give me a hug. I hugged him and T_T I really miss YG now. "Bye oppa." I said before he left.
"Who was that?!" Jieun asked. "He's cute." Lizzy said. "One of your friends?" Eli asked. "That's Kikwang." Kai said. "Oh? How do you know Kikwang?" I asked Kai. "He's one of the top dancers at his school." Kai said. Ohhhh...I never knew that...Oppa a dancer? No wonder Kai knows him then, Kai dances. "Are you his friend?" I asked Kai. "No, I just know of him." Kai said. "So, he's your friend?" Seungho asked. "Ahh, yes. He and I work together." I said. "Oh?! Where did you work?" Lizzy asked. "At a clothing shop." I said. "We should go!" Jieun said. "Ahhaha, no, I don't want to bother them." I said not wanting to see them just yet. "I'll show you guys my favorite waffle place!" I said not wanting to talk about this anymore. I led the way and we all went inside and ordered a waffle.
"Mmm, this is yummy!!!" Lizzy shouted. "This is one of the reasons why I want to live the city life! For yummy waffles like this!" She added. "This is good." Jieun said. "I wish we had this back home." She added. "We should come to Seoul more often." Eli said. We all finished our waffles. "...Ummm..." It seemed like Lizzy wanted to say something. "Yes, Lizzy?" Kai finally asked her. "Well I heard there was a performance tonight..." She started. "Who?!" We all asked wondering if it were some big idol group or something. "Just some people, nobody big, people in high school...I heard they're putting on a show and I really want to go watch them! They've been the craze lately." She said.
"...Well it's not like we have anything planned." Jieun said. "You know who Lizzy's talking about huh." Seungho said. "Okay, yeah! Only because she showed me one of their performances and they're so awesome!" Jieun smiled and then she and Lizzy giggled. "Well if Jieun is this excited, I'd like to see them with my own eyes." Seungho said. "Well, sure, I guess." Kai said. "Where is it?" Eli asked. "Some school yard? It's like a free night concert. It starts at like 9pm? Until Midnight. I heard it's going to be held out on the school yard!" Lizzy said. "...Sure, let's go." I said sort of excited by how Lizzy was describing it. I just hope it wasn't my school. "Yay!" Lizzy shouted then added, "Let's go back to get ready!" "It's only 6:30pm." Kai said. "I need time to get dressed!" Lizzy said. "Girls." All three boys said while us girls just laughed. We all headed to my house and started getting ready.
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