"Close your eyes, there's nothing here, all alone." I woke up to this, this music that was playing in my ears. I felt something covering my ears. I touched them, headphones...I looked up at the ceiling, nothing familiar. Where am I? I pulled down the headphones, I sat up quickly and looked around. Nothing I had seen before. Cold...I realized I was not even in my clothes. What the hell is this. I was in a men's shirt. Frightened I got up. What do you remember last Haeri? I sat back down on the bed. A voice, a voice so familiar...his voice. It took me a second before I felt his presence, before I could smell his scent in this room, before I realized I was in his room. "Haeri is that you?" He said opening the door. He ran towards me, fell down before me, his hands on my knees, his head faced down. "Why did you do that Haeri? Why did you run away?" He asked with a tone I had never heard from him before. I wanted to hold him until I remembered. I pushed him away. "I hate you! I was all a bet? How dare you treat me like that! Taking me to a disgusting motel, am I just another lifeless body?! I loved you! And I thought you felt the same." Tears fell down my face. 

"Sorry." He said. So this was all true..."I'm sorry I let you feel as though that was what I was doing." He said walking towards me. What? He was on his knees, hands holding mine. "I do love you. I would never do something like that, especially to you." He said looking deeply into my eyes. "Then why...bet..." I asked. "I had won a bet, yes. Not a bet about you though. It was of a whole different matter. The person I had won over was there, in that motel and I was only going to get my reward. That was the only time I could see him." Tabi explained. Speechless. "I'm so sorry I made you feel like you were someone like that. It's my fault." He said. Looking deep into his eyes I could tell he was being honest. I feel dumb, so dumb. "No, it's mine...I shouldn't have, not without asking first." I said realizing I had assumed too quickly.

As we were laying in bed, I looked at him. I'm so stupid but I'm still human. What I did wasn't right but it wasn't wrong either. I'm still a teenager with a heart that is willing to fall in love. A teenager who has grown up experiencing her share of pain. A heart feels the way it does, when it wants even if it may be irrational at times. I'm sure there have been plenty of girls who can relate, thinking about things that are never actually true too quickly and getting angry/sad/upset over it. How can I stop my heart from feeling what it will? I should trust Tabi, but there is always that doubt in the back of my mind...that barrier that stays forever up. I feel embarrassed though. Why didn't I just wait? Ask him? I'm just a stupid girl, such a stupid girl. I'm bound to make this same mistake again but I shall go about it a little bit different next time. Through all of this I did realize one thing though..."I love you." I move in closer to him and kiss him. He pulled me into him, "I love you too." He said looking at me, with those eyes, I could tell, he really did. Simply laying here next to him, in his shirt, in his room, in his arms, surrounded by his scent, by him, I felt a calmness.

I woke up still in Tabi's arms. Everything that happened last night makes me feel so stupid yet being in his arms right now, hearing him say I love you to me last night makes me very happy. I caressed his face. I grabbed a hold of his shirt's collar, pulled myself in and buried myself into his chest. I could feel him moving, he put his arms firmly around me. Please never let go of me, just hold onto me like this forever. "Don't leave me ever again like last night. You have no idea how worried I was." He said pulling me in even closer. Sorry you have such a dumb girlfriend. It won't happen again. We stayed in bed for a while longer like that before getting up. "I have nothing to change into." I said seeing that I was still in his shirt. "Oh here, I washed your clothes for you last night, but you're free to wear something of mine's if you'd rather." He said. So....he took my clothes off last night? I hadn't even thought about it...my face was getting hot and I couldn't stop it. So he saw me in my bra and underwear...I turn around to hide my embarrassment. I felt his arms go around my waist. "Don't feel embarrassed. You're beautiful and you are my girlfriend, aren't you?" "...I can't help it." "You're making me feel like a monster by feeling this way." He said letting go and walking away. No, that's not what..."Sorry." I said backhugging him.

I pulled on one of his long sleeves and put it on. It definitely doesn't look like something he'd wear anyways.  Hmmm...I like it...being in his shirt. "What are thinking about?" Tabi asked me as he himself was pulling a shirt. "I have to say, the boyfriend's style is by far my favorite style to date." I said looking down at his shirt I was wearing. "Mine too. You've never looked better." I heard him saying. My heart fluttered. "What are we doing?" I asked. "Well it's up to you. Want me to take you home?" He asked. Home. Sort of because even though I love Tabi and I know nothing happened if I go out in his shirt a lot of people are going to think certain things and me being the person I am, knows how far that can get. "Yeah, but let's get breakfast first?" I suggested. "Sure, come on." He said, we got into his car and then went to go get breakfast.

While eating I saw a few people pointing and whispering. Soon enough I was getting embarrassed and so I brought up the sleeves to my face. I heard Tabi laughing. "Shut up. It's not funny." I said with my face still in my hands. "Okay, let's go." I heard him saying. We got into his car and he was driving me home. Somehow I felt sad. Our date, well not really a date but the time I spent with him was breakfast. I wanted to be with him longer. Ohhh well, I guess...We reached my house and I didn't want to leave yet. I got out of the car and as I was closing the door. "I'll be waiting." He said. "Waiting for what?" I asked. "For you." He said. "Why?" I asked. "We have plans. So go get changed and come back out." He smiled. I smiled back. I didn't care about what he had planned, as long as we were going out together. I ran inside and got changed.

"Where are we going?" I asked getting in his car. "It's a surprise." He smiled. We drove for quite a while when we were getting closer to the water. "Are we going swimming? I didn't bring my swimming suit." I said to him. "We're not going swimming." He said. "Oh then what are we doing?" I asked. We got out of the car and he led the way down the dock...boat? We're going to be riding on a boat?! "Boat?!" I asked. "Yep." He smiled. My first time on a boat! Wah, so excited. I got onto the boat and off Tabi and I went. "You can steer a boat?" I asked surprised. "I can do many things." He said. Such an awesome boyfriend. I walk onto the deck and look out at the vast sea. "WOW!" I found myself saying out loud. I laid down and looked up at the clear blue skies. I closed my eyes and felt everything around me. I heard Tabi coming down to lay next to me. "Hey what's that song I was listening to last night?" I asked. "Oh. It's a song that calms me. It's my favorite right now." He said. "Here listen to it again." He added taking his headphones and putting it on me. It was definitely a calming song. I love it, it speaks to the soul. Headphones, his headphones, he never lets anyone use them but how come I'm using them now? "The headphones, keep them. Listen to this song and always think about me, because it reminds me of you." He said. I open my eyes as he was looking down at me, one simple kiss and it feels like I have the world in my hands.

I had just spent a great weekend with Tabi and wasn't ready for school. Everyday I felt like our relationship grew stronger and stronger. I was really happy to be with him and he with me. It seriously seemed like nothing could change it. Even though we have only dated for...4 months? Yeah that sounds about right, I love him very much. He makes my heart beat fast and slow at the same time.

We had gone on simple walks plenty of times. We would go all over and everywhere we could. We just wanted to see everything and do everything. There were times when we got lost but thanks to that we found places we never could have before. Even though we just walked side by side it felt amazing, being able to turn around and see him there, next to you.

We had gone to a few parties together. He'd introduce me to his friends and we would all just have a good time. He was friends with a lot of...cool people you could say. They all look out of my league and hard to get along with but they were all pretty down to earth and very fun to be around. I took a liking to them and it seemed like they accepted me.

Tabi was really good to his friends. He was really...cute, well it was cute in my eyes when he was around his friends. You wouldn't think if you had just seen him that he could have this side to him. It was times like these when I felt his innocence.

I had gone to his house a few more times. We would cook, by the way he's a really good cook! We would watch movies, cuddle, just look at each other, laugh, talk, live. I mean we sometimes literally just lie in bed looking at each other. No words were needed.

He also had a silly side to himself. I was surprised. I never imagined him to have such a side but because he does, it made me love him a lot more. I was able to look at him and think, what a cute human being. He isn't so tough, not like what his appearance seems like. He was just a a big silly pabo. I mean look at him, I'm so glad I was able to see this side of him because not many do and I feel special.

I love all of him, his natural side, his silly side, his rough side, everything. But the him I enjoy the most is when he's focused, not when there's a smile, not when there's a frown, although I do love it when he smiles at me, the him that I see the most is when he has the look of determination in his eyes, simply sitting down yet exuding so much more. And I mean, look at him, how can he be so handsome and cute at the same time? I feel so alive when I'm with him, it's the best feeling I've ever had. This is the man I love.

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Got some of you guys with that bet situation huh. xD

LOL, ah, the moments in which we humans overreact. :)

Have you ever been in a situation like Haeri? Acting a certain way before you knew the truth?

Don't worry, we all have or will. No one is perfect. We make mistakes and we learn. :)

I have to apologize to those who want really sweet, cute moments. 

I can't really write lovey dovey moments, that's why I kept them short up there.

I'm more about the tragedy rather than all that cute fluffy stuff. 

I d k it's just not my thing. So feel free to imagine them doing sweet things as they're dating. LOL.