Memory Lane (Chabin)
Drabbles of VIXXVIXX are currently having a party to celebrate their 5th year together. Well, they call it a party but it's actually just 6 of them, drinking and eating and talking together. The company wanted to throw them a big party, of course, but N refused, saying that it will be more meaningful if it's just the 6 of them celebrating, without any managers whatsoever. And sure enough, how could the rest of them defy their leader? N is always right after all.
"What are you thinking about? "Hyuk nudges Hongbin, who has been staring off into space (or is it at N?) for the past few minutes.
Startled, Hongbin turn to look at the maknae sitting beside him, raising his eyebrow questioningly.
"What are you thinking about? "Hyuk repeats himself, slightly annoyed and Hongbin cracks a small smile as he shakes his head.
"Nothing, Hyuk. Absolutely nothing. "He assures yet his eyes once again gazes towards the cackling N and a sad smile crept onto his face.
It has been 5 years since VIXX's debut, 5 years since he started living with 5 other men under one roof, 5 years since he introduced himself as VIXX's Hongbin instead of just Lee Hongbin but most importantly, it has been 5 years since he stopped being N's favourite dongsaeng.
Before Leo, Ken, Ravi and Hyuk arrive at the Jellyfish, Hongbin used to spend most of his time with N, whom he sees as his own brother as he's the only child in his family. They used to be inseparable, always going everywhere together to the point that the other trainees started calling them twin eventhough they resemble nothing of each other. That time, he was content and happy for their relationship but unfortunately, his happiness didn't last that long when along with N, he and 8 other trainees were chosen for a survival show, Mydol .
N has always been friendly and kind and considerate and caring and understanding so it doesn't really come as a surprise for Hongbin when the trainees grew attached to N. Including himself, they all looked up at N since it was obvious that N is someone worth following. However, it really upsets him when N, little by little, started ignoring him in favour of indulging the other trainees. N worked so hard in trying to make the trainees to open up and to be comfortable with him that he stopped noticing how Hongbin longed for him.
And when finally, 6 out of 10 of them were chosen to debut, everything went from bad to horrible.
Hongbin felt like he was casted aside as N was so busy trying to help Leo come out of his shell and Hyuk to balance between his idol and student life. He grew lonely but thankfully, there's Ravi, his same aged friend, to fill up the empty spots N left behind.
However Ravi is Ravi, he's not N and no matter how hard he tried,he can never make Hongbin feels as safe and content as how N made him feel.
But as much as he wants to turn back the time and make N his and only his again, he knows he can't do it. N no longer belongs to only him now.
Now, N is theirs. N is VIXX's.
And for the sake of their group, Hongbin learnt to share and eventually, let go.
"Hey, hyung. "
N stops mid-action and the piece of meat fell from his chopsticks as he glance at Hongbin, who all of sudden grabbed onto his arm. "Yeah? "
"It's hard letting you go. "Hongbin says, staring right into N's eyes. "But I guess it's worth it. "
N tilt his head, confused . "What are you talking about? "He asks but Hongbin merely let go of him and turn his face away.
"I just hope that I'll still have a special place in your heart, hyung. Because doesn't matter if you're wrong or right, I'll always be willing to follow you. As your dongsaeng, Lee Hongbin. "
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