"Taekwoon, come look at this. Isn't he cute? "N coos at his phone, amused at the video of his adorable nephew that his sister sent him but not to his surprise, Leo doesnt even pay him any attention. 

"Taekwoon-hyung! This dog look just like you. So cute! "Ken squeals from the other side of the waiting room and Leo immediately run over to him before cooing and squealing together at the random animal videos Ken found online. 

Witnessing the obvious biasness, N smiles a bitter smile. Of course, who would even want to be near him if it wasn't for work? 

"Wonshik-ah, are you free after this? Can you look over the lyrics I just wrote and give me some opinion? "

Ravi who was just sitting on the couch of the photoshoot set doesn't seem to hear him, or maybe he does but choose to ignore him, which is the usual so he walks over to him and touch his shoulder.

"Wonshik, I'm talking to you. "

Ravi pushes his hand away before looking up at him with an annoyed expression. "I'm busy, hyung. Ask Taekwoon-hyung instead. "he says nonchalantly and N had no choice but to just nod and give up but then just a couple of minutes later, he sees Ravi happily skipping over towards Ken who just arrived. 

"Jyani~lets go out for movies after this? We don't have any schedules after this one right? "

N doesnt stay to hear Ken's response but the way his hand shakes and the change of expression on his face clearly show how he feels. 

'It hurts. It hurts to be ignored by the people he care so much for. '

"Ah, hyung, it tickles, stop it! " Hongbin laughs and giggles like the happy bean he is when Ken suddenly pounce at him and start tickling him all over. 

They just look so happy as if they're really enjoying that childish act that N can't help but wanting to join in on the fun but as soon as he walk over to them and start tickling as well, Hongbin stops laughing and his expression turns stoic. 

"Ah, Hakyeon-hyung! You're too old for this! "He diss before slightly pushing him away and resuming to play with Ken and only Ken. 

Dejected, N bites his lips and sigh and when he turn around, he let that small sob escape his mouth. 

Is he really that bad that they won't even spare him any attention? 

"Jaehwan-hyung, come eat! "Hyuk calls out for Ken who's busy playing on his phone, approaching the elder with a lunch box and a chopstick when Ken doesn't pay him any attention. "Stop playing that game and eat with me first. "He insists, taking the phone away from Ken's hand and replacing it with the pair of chopstick. Ken whines but doesn't really object anyway. 

N wasn't really thinking much, he just wanted to eat and he figured that they wouldn't mind if he have some of their lunchbox but clearly, that's not the case when Hyuk wouldn't even let him sit near them. 

"You have your own lunch box, go eat yours! "Hyuk orders and N pouts but he puts his chopstick away and ignores it when Ken try to feed him some food. 

He figured that he really is that despiseable . 

"Hyung, what are you doing? "

Ken plops over onto N's lap, nuzzling at his stomach pleading to be pet like N would usually do to him but this time, to his surprise, N froze. 

"Get off me, Jaehwan. "

Ken stares at his leader's face, wondering if he's teasing him but N's face stay serious so he slowly sit back up. 

"Are you okay, hyung? Is something wrong? "He asks in concern but N just stands up and leave, leaving him in confusion. 

"Are you mad at me, hyung? Did I do something wrong to you? "Ken demands when N's cold treatment towards him lasts more than once. 

"You didn't. "N denies because Ken really didn't do anything wrong. It's just him who's being childish for getting jealous and upset over the fact that Ken gets their members attention without having to even lift a finger while as for he himself, they refuse to notice or even acknowledge him even if he went out of his way to earn their attention. 

"Then why are you acting like this towards me? You're making me sad. "Ken mumbles, his face dropping and N hates it, he hates seeing Ken or any of s sad but this time, he chose to ignore it. 

He needs this. He needs to preserve what little pride he have left. 

Ken sighs and pout when N says nothing more. "I'm sorry then, for whatever it Is that I did wrong. "He apologises before leaving him alone. 

N watches over him guiltily . 'No, Jaehwan. I'm the one who's sorry. Sorry for venting my frustration at you when you're the only one who doesn't push me away. '

N tries to make it up to him; buying him food and games and new clothes but he no longer treat him the way he used to, not when being with him brings up the memory of 's rejection and of how much his presence is despised compared to Ken's. 

Ken eventually gives up too, letting him have his way and not even bothering to fix the situation anymore. 

And N, choose to really leave eventually. He chose to leave the people he cares so much for yet it so toxic to him. He might regret, he knows. But for now, he needs to feel loved and needed and s can't give him all that. They just don't want to.