I place one last fluffy pillow resting at the armchair of the expansive couch. 

You see, I construct another pillow house to lie on while indulging in the movie. 

I settle on a horror movie. The CD stays still above the dvd player, not wanting to be a spoiler just until Taehyung comes, to be fair. 

Let me introduce him, my friend, Kim Taehyung is a 19 year old guy with newly dyed blonde hair. He's my schoolmate, my dormmate and my classmate. 
But, in the world outside our dorm room, we pretend that we didn't know a single thing about each other.
I mean, why would the incredible notorious pretty boy Kim Taehyung wants to be friend with a dreadful monotonous nerd like... me, Jeon Jungkook. 
Look, I may be boring and uninteresting, I still love to play and talk about latest video games, which is the reason for me and Taehyung to be close. 
But, since we both know it'll leave a depraved impression for students to see us hanging out, we choose not to say a thing and kept a huge distance between us. 

So I was right there, just watching him eat while talking to his friends. 
Afterall I had no friends, not a single one. 
So to stop thinking about how poor I am, I settle to just watch him from afar. 
I got my attention all to him while he didn't notice. He doesn't need to notice. 
The thing is... 

Knock Knock Knock

I whipped my head to the door and ran towards to open it. 

And there he is. 
Kim Taehyung smiling down at me, with one hand shove inside his pocket jeans while the other hold the strap of his bag that hung onto one of his shoulder. 
His tall nose and sparkling eyes distracting me to say a word. 

"Jungkookie" He called my name. Lips parting a bit while he whisper my name. 
And there it goes. My poor heart came beating thrice than the usual, it actually making me feel a short time of pain. 

The thing is... 
I like Kim Taehyung. 
I adore him and everything that shouts him. 

But I don't have that exciting love story. 
Because Taehyung will only treat ne as a special friend. Maybe more than friend but less than romantic lovers. 
I have no need to say this stupid feelings to him. 
Afterall he's not gay. There might even a chance he's actually homophobic. 

I admit I'm scared... scared to lose him, yes. 
That's why I resolve to just ignore this stupid feelings and be a friend for him. 

Because the more I can't have him, the more I desire for him. 

"Kookie, seriously, is there something on my face? A booger? Fallen eyelashes? Get it off~" He whine like the total opposite of hin when he's around the other students. 

I chuckle and shakes my head. "No, there is not. I'm just waiting for you to take your shoes off"
"Oh right" He snap and crouch down to untie his shoelaces. 

I snort at him before going back inside our dorm to put the CD inside the dvd player. 
When I look behind, Taehyung was already making his way on the couch and slump his body while sighing in exhaustion. 
I bury myself beside him but leave a good enough distance. Maybe a 10 inches away. Afterall this couch is spacious. 

Taehyung gawk at me with eyed narrowed in confusion. 
"Why are you scooting away? " He question. 
I peer my gaze to somewhere else. "I'm not. It's just... this spot is comfortable"
"Tsk" He snickered. 
I startled when he volunteered to move closer, and now our shoulders are connected. 

Crap, stop beating you stupid heart. 

"It's starting"
I put my focus in the movie, the television being our only source of light from this unlit room. 

After hearing a loud munch, I glimpse at Taehyung's direction and saw him stuffing chips in his mouth. 
I smile secretly. I didn't know the short peek took longer than necessary as I found myself staring at him. 
Giving details about his face again, as if it was my math equations that I had already memorized. 

Sorry I can't help it, now that his face looks so soft and tamed. Plus, he's not looking, so let me take this chance. 

I study how his hair bounce everytime he tilt his head. It looks so soft I find myself wanting to touch it. 
When he blinks slowly, I notice he had extremely long eyelashes. 
No wonder he's too beautiful. 

Just as I am indulging in the moment, that's when he tilt his head to me. 
My eyes instantly widen. I felt my hands cooling down and my heart beats in anxious. 
"What are you looking at? "
"Uhh... Uhm I-I" My eyes kept wandering everywhere. 

I can't just tell him "Oh sorry, I might have enjoyed admiring your face too much. Can we just continue the movie and forget you caught me staring? "

Jungkook think! Think! 

"There's a bug on your hair... but it's gone now"
"Oh crap, really?! " He began rummaging his hand through his hair.

I bit the corner of my lip and look away. 

Never do something like this ever again. 

Currently I'm walking down the hallway of my building. 
With my bag hung on my shoulders,four English books in between my arms and to top it all, yes, I'm wearing the same black thick glasses a nerd should use. 

I was just about to walk back to the dorm. 

Yesterday night was a complete chaos between my mind and my heart. 
To keep myself from embarassing, I pretend to sleep just before the movie comes to an end. 
Taehyung kept calling my name and shaking my shoulder but I didn't budge. 
I only felt a pair of blanket drape over my body until I completely fallen asleep. 

What? Of course Taehyung didn't carry me to bed. 
I mean, why would he in the first place? 
Plus, I'm really heavy, It'll be a double embarassing for me if that happens–

"Ha! " I gasp when the books fell from my hands as I was drag by someone in a near empty corridor. 

My back slam to the cold wall and I grunt in pain. 

"Look at how he is"
I halt in place after hearing a voice. 
The voice was really familiar, but something I never got to hear everytime. 
I painfully open my eyes and the sight of five boys startled me. 
They were all Taehyung's friends. 

"Are you sure he's the one? "
"Of course he is, I'm sure"

I never know what they were talking about or who is talking from them. 

What I felt is a strong force in my stomach that made me crouch down in pain. 
They did some bickering noises. 

I held my stomach as it burns in pain. 
I felt like throwing out my guts because of that single punch. 
"W-What are you d-doing to me? "
One of them walk forward with a roguish smirk. 
He was the one who punch me. 
"You like Taehyung, don't you? "
His sentence suprise me. My mouth hung open with a string of blood flowing out of it. 
"I... I-I don't k-know what you're–"
"Stop lying to me, . We know you're befriending our friend. And you like him! That makes you gay, or more, a ! A stupid ! Wait till Taehyung knows about this"
I don't know how the heck did they know about it, but all I care is to not let them say anything to Taehyung. 

"No" I stood up despite the trembling of my knees, my hand still holding ny aching stomach. 
"Please don't tell him" Tears keep descending from my eyes. 
My mouth leaves weak mewlings as I beseech in front of them for the sake of Taehyung not knowing who I am. 

"Guys? " 
A familiar raspy voice resonate the hallway. 

"Too late" I watch as he walk towards Taehyung who now notice my presence. 
I saw his eyes widen in suprise and his mouth fails to not say my name. 
"Jungkook! W-Wha–"
He gawk at his friends, eyes narrowed in confusion. 
"Did you do this? "
"Why did you tell us you're his friend? "
"Because I know you won't like the idea! You didn't answer my question, Did you do this to him?! "
He was angrier than before. I merely look down shamefully. 
"Taehyung didn't you recognize? You're precious friend here is gay as . He's gay for you"

Now he despise me. 
He thinks I'm grievous. 
He thinks I'm disgusting. 

I search for his eyes. They were suprise. As if he can't believe that all this entire time, he was with a . 

Then he.. he... 

He ran away. 

I keep wiping the wet tears away but they only tumble down. 
My stomach still hurts... so do my heart. 
My shoulders felt extremely heavy and my eyes stings. 

I stand in front of our dorm room. My hand reluctantly reach for the knob and push it open. 

There was no one inside. 

I don't know if I'll consider it a relief or not because I really want to talk to Taehyung. 
How awful it may sound but I don't want to lose him. 
Atleast not him. 

I limp towards my bed and sat down at the edge. 
A sigh of exhaustion left my pale lips. 
I try not to move too much because extra movements made me want to curl in pain from my stomach. 

While I was in agony, the door opening made me startled. 

I look up and was more suprise to witness Taehyung at the doorway. 
He doesn't contain physical injuries but he didn't look so fine either. 

He merely stare at me as I did the same. 

He was the one to break it though, when he look down and shake his head. 
I was frightened when he proceed out the room so I quickly follow him.
"Taehyung wait! "
He stop, turn around and look at my hand that was holding his arm. 
I quickly let go. 
My eyes stutter to look at him. 

"Is it true? " He spoke after a minute of silence. "You like me? "
I merely nod, too coward to speak. 
"Why didn't you tell me? "
"What's the point? You don't feel the same anyway"
"Who says I don't? "
I snap my head to him. "W-What do you mean? "
His respond is a step forward, and another, and another, until the tip of our shoes collide. 
I gasp when he held both my cheeks. 
The texture of his hand almost makes me wanna cry. They were so soft than I have imagined it would be. 

"Jungkook? "
"Yes? "
"Remember when we first met? I said I like video games the same way as you do? "
"W-What about it? "
I started feeling uneasy as he kept examining the way I move my lips. 
"The truth is I'm not really fond of video games. What I really meant was, that I like your eyes. When you look at me, it's as if my whole world came to a pause. And I have to lie because I'm such a coward. The famous incredible notorious pretty boy Kim Taehyung is a coward for Jeon Jungkook"

If this was a dream, please never wake up. 

"You mean... " I pause. 

"I mean I like you, too"

Wow. 

I can't hold but smile. 
I'm so glad how everything leads to a different way than what I thought it'd be. 

"Taehyung"

Crap, is he... kissing me? 

I held my breath when Taehyung started leaning down. 
I peek one last glimpse at his lips before closing my eyes and let his lips wander mine. 

Kim Taehyung is kissing me. 

Hmm, he's not so bad.