It was a tiring day for all of my friends including my parents , that’s all because of me . My condition was getting worse with every passing day . Loosing conscious was part of my daily routine , sometimes I was sleeping for days .

“ Hana “ I heard my mother calling for me . My eyes opened slowly just to find the little girl sitting on the bed .

“ Eun Sun-ah “ whispering I lifted my body a little so I could sit properly on the bed , just then my chest started to hurt , I started coughing , I turned around for Eun Sun not to see me . My mother rushed to me with a napkin in her hands. She knew well that I was coughing blood every time .

“ Unnie are you okay? “ I heard Eun Sun from behind and I hurried to hide the napkin covered with my own blood , if she see it , she’ll be scared. I wanted to protect her the most so I never told her that I’m deadly sick .

“Kids I’ll leave you alone , if you need me I’ll be outside okay ? “ my mother smiled and patted Eun Sun’s little head before walking out the hospital room . Hiding the napkin under the sheets, my gaze turned to the little girl sitting on the edge of the bed .

“ Unnie are you sick ? “ her sweet voice echoed in the room . Smiling weakly I took her little hand in mine , I have to stay strong and not let a single tear escape my eyes .

“ Don’t worry I’ll be fine “

Eun Sun looked around the room before her gaze stopped on me again . She blinked several times before looking around the room again.

“ Unnie , were is Taemin oppa ? Why isn’t he here ? “ the sudden question of the curious girl made me choke a little , I had no idea what to tell her “ Is he searching for a cure to  make you feel better ? “ unconsciously smiling at the cuteness of Eun Sun , I caressed her cheek .

“ Yeah he’s searching for a cure “ was all I could say at the moment . I wish everything was just a dream , a fairytale where the boy and the girl end up together ,living happily ever after. But there was not an happy end for me , slowly and painfully dying was something that I never wanted. Through the sleepless nights I always prayed for a fast death , for Taemin to be once happy without me .

“ Say Eun Sun what if unnie fell asleep ? Like in the sleeping beauty … you won’t be sad right ? “ the little girl tilted her head to one side and blinked several times before pouting lightly .

“ Of course I’ll miss unnie , but if it’s like sleeping beauty then I’ll wait for Taemin oppa to come and kiss unnie so you could open your eyes again “ Eun Sun smiled and went to the flowers that were on the window . She took a little sniff before smiling again , she was so cute and just then she reminded me of Taemin . How we were happy together …. Taemin, Eun Sun and I.

I tried so hard not to cry around Eun Sun that when she went out the room I became a crying mess . I was leaving my little ‘ sister’ alone , I was not able to fulfill Taemin’s wish of having a girl . I was useless , just a burden to the people that I love . But for once in my life I was happy that Taemin will be free , free to have the life he wanted to have .

~~~

“ Hana , please eat , for me ? “ Key literally begged almost falling on his knees . I chuckled lightly and took the bowl with hot soup from his hands. The moment I started eating Key sighed  in relief . I had no appetite but for the sake of the people I love I have to make them happy till I close my eyes forever .

After finishing everything Onew took the bowl away from my hands and went out the room , so now I was alone with Key . He looked at me before rubbing his head lightly .

“ If you want to ask me something ask , I won’t bite you “ he smiled from my words and took my hand into his . We were looking at each other for awhile before he parted his lips wanting to say something but no voice came out. Suddenly his hand brushed my cheek before a single tear escaped from his beautiful eyes.

“ Hana , please don’t leave me okay ? “ he said out of the blue . Blinking several times I was not able to look away from him “ Promise me that you’ll live ….”

“I’m sorry “ was all I could say , my eyes were filled with tears and my vision became blurry . I was in no condition to promise that , I was sure that I can’t be saved .

“ You have to live Hana …. You can’t leave me “ he cried desperately while wrapping his hands around my small body “ please don’t leave me “ he whispered gently while bringing our bodies closer.

I cried in Key’s arms , I was not able to promise something like that , not even to comfort him so he could put his heart at ease.

“ Oppa promise me that you’ll be happy , that you’ll find the girl that can truly love you “ I said while looking at his face .

“ How can I  …. “ before he could finish I placed my finger on his lips preventing him from speaking .

“ Promise me , please … “ I reached to wipe the forming tears in his eyes . He simply nodded which was enough for me . If I know that the people I love will try to move on I could die peacefully “ Thank you oppa “ I smiled before resting my head on the pillow .

~~~

“ Soo Jin “ slowly whispering I looked at the girl sitting on the gravestone . She slowly turned around and gave me a smile before coming next to me . Without saying anything she took my hand and we went ahead to some place I hand never seen before.

It was a field with flowers , so beautiful …away from people’s eyes . It was a magical place a place for people to live after they leave the human world.

“ Is this going to be my new home ?  It’s really beautiful “ my gaze traveled once again around that magical place before stopping on the girl next to me . She raised her hand and just with a little gesture something incredible was revealed before my eyes . The tears danced along the curves of my cheeks at the view in front of me “ Taemin “ I cried before running toward him , he was there …standing with open arms waiting for me to fly into his embrace .

I was running and running but he was far away from me . I was crying desperately wanting to be in his embrace again . As I closed my eyes I felt the warmth of his body and before I knew it I was into his embrace . I buried my face into the crook of his neck crying with all my strength . I can’t believe it , Taemin was with me , I was finally in his embrace … even if that’s an illusion I was happy to see him again . I looked up at his face , his eyes were shining from the sun .

“ I love you Taemin , I’ll always love you “ I whispered slowly before he vanished from me . The tears slid down my checks and I turned to Soo Jin , she was looking at the sky . I know I should be mad and hate her for what she had done to Taemin and now to me but I can’t . She was desperately in love with him and that’s why she cursed him .

Once I was next to the girl she hung her head down not looking at me . I smiled weakly before reaching for her hands , she was avoiding my gaze .

“ Soo Jin , I forgive you “ hearing my words she raised her head to look at me . She was indeed surprised by my words , but they were coming from my heart .

“ What ? “ she asked again while a single tear escaped her eye .

“ I forgive you “ I repeated and before I knew it I was hugging her tightly “ Thank you for giving me the chance to love Taemin and to be the one who will save him “

“ Thank you Hana “ she whispered hugging me back .

My eyes opened instantly and I was again in the hospital room , so it was another dream . But I was thankful , even if it was not real I saw Taemin , I was able to say what I wanted to Soo Jin , the only thing left for me was to wait for my death. I could feel it … soon I’ll leave the human world. I took the little notebook from the little nightstand next to the bed. The notebook I treasured the days where I spend without Taemin by my side . All of that was for him , I was going to ask my parents to give him the notebook so he could read it. It was a gift from me , something to give him strength  so he could be happy even if I’m not beside him.

As the pen danced along the white papers I could sense the tears forming in my eyes again. I knew that it was my last time writing in the notebook so I wanted it to be special to say farewell to Taemin . After I finished my last sentence I took out a little box where I kept all the photos and stuff Taemin brought me . I placed the notebook in the box and took last glance at the photo we took together at Eun Sun’s birthday party . I closed the box with a little sign on top :  ‘ Thank you for the memories ‘

My mother came in the room and kissed my forehead .

“ Mom , will you give this to Taemin if he comes ? “ I asked raising my hand to give her the little box .

“ Okay honey , but why don’t you give it to him yourself ? He’ll come I’m sure of it “ she gently smiled and took the box from my hands .

“ Because I won’t be able to “ with that my mother’s smile vanished , I know that she believed that I’ll be fine but Soo Jin’s spirit was next to me . My time had come , this was the last time I see the people I love .

I spend the day laughing and talking … with my mother … my father … Key … Minho … Onew … Jonghyun … Eun Sun . I wanted to see Taemin too but I knew that will never happen . So I wanted everyone to remember me with a smile , I want them to be happy again because I’ll be there watching over them … from Heaven.

The night came fast , I looked for the last time through the window .

“ It’s time for me to go right ? “ I turned my gaze to Soo Jin , she simply nodded and disappeared . I breathed heavily and went to the bed, no matter how many times I tried to calm myself it was no use , after all no one is prepared to die .

Just then the door opened and my eyes widened seeing the person who came to see me . I was crying and smiling at the same time … so my final wish came true.

“ Taemin “ I smiled while the tears never stopped falling. 

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sorry it took me long again >.<