From the panic I pushed Taemin toward the closet and he raised his eyebrow .

“ You want me to get in your closet ? “ he smirked before opening the door . I just pushed him inside and closet the door . Just like a lighting I jumped in the bed and covered myself with the blanket . The door slowly opened and I took a little peek , just to see who’s the person who I woke up . As I expected , it was dad and he looked around the room before closing the door again . I waited for awhile before getting up “ If you continue to hide me in the closet , we have a serious problem here “ he grinned grabbing my waist .  My hands wrapped around his neck and we locked lips once again . I’m addicted to his touch , I love him so much !!!

“ You better go back to the guest’s room “ and I pushed him toward the door . He’s such a kid !

In the morning I got up slowly as my head was spinning around , I felt dizzy . Probably because I was far away from sleeping , who can possibly sleep ! After dressing up for school I went to the guest’s room , and like always Taemin was missing . I made my way to the kitchen when suddenly a sharp pain made me gasp. I grabbed my chest with my hand and breathed heavily , it was like someone stabbed my heart with a knife .

“ Hana “ I hear the sweet voice of Taemin behind me , slowly turning around I saw him sitting on the couch in the living room . Probably waiting for me to get up , the pain vanished and I smiled brightly before going toward him “ Morning “ he smiled pulling me into a hug . My cure for every pain is Taemin , he can make me feel better in no time.

At school we were all writing like crazy , after all the final exams were right around the corner . So after the lessons I dragged Taemin to the library so we can study . It was late already and so we were in front of my house , like every time Taemin hugged me tightly and cupped my face . But this time was different , his eyes were filled with sorrow like the first time when he tried to kill me . I was scared and worried at the same time , I knew that look pretty well . His need to kill was coming again , the only thing I could do is to support him .

“ Don’t wait for me tomorrow “ he slowly whispered before kissing my lips , I wrapped my hands around his neck . His words were eating me from inside , I tried my best to hold the tears in my eyes . So when I entered the house , they freely fell on my cheeks .  I have to be strong for him , I have to be there !

After dinner I went to my room to have a little chat with my friends . I wish they could come and meet Taemin , I’m sure they’ll like him .

The light knock on my door woke me up from my slumber , it was 6 AM and it was little early for me to get up . The same person knocked again and so I went to answer , for my surprise I found Key oppa right in front of my door .

“ Hey , how about we have breakfast ?!? “ he smiled taking my hand , scratching my head lightly I went downstairs . What is he doing here , and my parents are already gone ?!? Probably some busy schedule , anyway back to my thought …what is he doing here . Not that I hated it , he’s one of my friends but it’s just … my heart hurts when I see him and now that I know about his feelings “ If you’re thinking why am I here … well I missed you “

“ Oh , missed you too “ and I stuffed the food in my mouth , yeah it’s true that I miss him .

After breakfast I went to change and we walked to my school , he asked me different questions involving Taemin , not that I had something in mind . He’s trying his best to learn more about my boyfriend and if he’s kind to me .  After going in the school he gave me a little hug and promised to wait for me to return home so we can talk little more .

At school everything was the same , except that Taemin was gone . I know what he’s doing and thinking about it again … it’s painful . I can’t imagine what he feel every time , if I  was in his place … I’ll go insane ! But he’s not as weak as me , I know that he’ll be free pretty soon and we’ll be together . I felt dizzy again and went to the toilet to wash myself , the other girls seems to get use of the fact that I’m with Taemin . It’s not that I don’t have fights here and there , but most of them just stopped . I was grateful , I can’t waist my time with them … I just can’t ! The sharp pain came again and I bent on the sink , supporting myself with my  hands on the cold marble.

“ Are you ok ?!? “ someone called me , but all I could feel is the pain . I closed my eyes and prayed for the pain to stop .

~~~

I found myself in the hospital , the white walls reminded me of the hospital where Sulli was . And yet again the thought of Taemin came . And that horrible moment when I saw how Sulli killed herself . I was too weak to get up , so I trailed the room with my gaze . I spotted the sleeping figure of my mother . She was sitting on a small couch , the door of the room opened slowly and my father entered with a cup of coffee . When he saw that I’m awake he smiled lightly and placed his index finger on his lips . Probably because he didn’t want mum to wake up . But how I did end up in the hospital ?!?

He slowly pulled a chair and sat next to the bed , taking my hand into his . His eyes were filled with worry , something that he never shows. 

“ Are you better now ?!? “ his voice was shaking , he’s so worried and I can’t do anything after all it was my fault in the first place .

“ Neh , don’t worry “ I lifted myself a little and he helped me to stand up . The door opened again and Key entered with a big bouquet . Soon after that my mother woke up and hugged me tightly so as Key . 

The doctor said that I’m alright now , and it was probably from the pressure . So I was discharged from the hospital the same day , or should I say night . After Key escorted us to the house he left for Seoul , but not until he hugged me tightly .

“ Be safe kiddo “ and he ruffled my hair . I groaned in frustration , aish I’m not a kid anymore .

“ Okay “ and he drove away . With a little help from my father , I entered the house and sitting on the couch I took out my phone . Not a singe call from Taemin , I’m worried now … he could at least call me and say that he’s fine . I was lying on the couch , while my mother covered me with some blanket .

“ I’ll make you some soup so you could eat ok ??! “

“ I don’t want to eat … I’m not hungry “  and with that I covered myself with the blanket , my mother mumbled something and went to the kitchen . At the same time the doorbell rang and my father went to answer . It was late and I had no idea who it might be , then I heard the sweet voice that I wanted to hear the most . Slowly getting up from the couch I went to the front door and the angry face of my father was facing me . He’s probably mad because I got up from the cozy couch , but all I could think was about Taemin . I wanted to see him as soon as possible .

Embracing me with his gentler hands , I snuggled closer to his body . I missed him so much , now I know that everything will be fine as long as he’s with me .

We were sitting on the couch , well I was lying in Taemin’s embrace . I can’t believe my father actually let him be that close to me , guess he really likes Taemin !

“ Taemin-ssi , tell your stubborn  girlfriend to eat the soup I made “ my mother whined , raising her hand in which was the bowl . No matter how much I prayed , in the end Taemin was feeding me . I had nothing against it , but my mother is so clever … using my boyfriend to get what she wants !!!

“ When I found out that you’re in the hospital , I ran as fast as I could but they said you went home “ he slowly whispered kissing my forehead . I tugged him closer , his heart was beating so fast which made me smile lightly .

“ It’s nothing to worry about , I’m fine now ! Especially when you’re with me “  he cupped my face and our eyes met .

“ I’ll watch carefully if you’re taking care of yourself “ is he my mother ?!? … great I’ll have a whole detachment of carrying ummas … !!!

After Taemin helped me to go to bed , he kissed my forehead again but I wanted his lips . So I pulled him closer and so our lips brushed one another . I parted my lips so as to let his tongue explore my mouth. I wanted to feel his taste again .

“ Ok , I’ll go now before you eat me all up “ he chuckled going up from the bed “ Have a good sleep …. And I’ll see you tomorrow ok ?!? “

“ Yes boss … I’ll do my best !!! “

“ Good !!! Now … sleep well my angel “ and he went out turning the light off .

~~~

The cry and desperate screams echoed so loud that every person in the town could hear them .Dark clouds were falling upon the small town . I was standing right next to my parents , my mother was crying in my father’s embrace . His eyes were swollen and his face was pale . Key oppa and his friends were carrying flowers . I slowly moved towards them and saw the sorrowful face that he had . Then my gaze slowly turned to the person that I wanted to see the most .

“ Taemin “ I called but he never answered , making my way toward him , I saw the expressionless face he had …only his eyes showed emotion but they were filled with sorrow and pain. And the cute smile of his was far away . He was standing in front of a gravestone and placing one red rose, he fell on his knees . The tears fell on his pale face and his lips parted for a minute , he wanted to speak but no voice came .

“ Why ?!? Why did you decide this on your own and left me ?!? How can I live now without you … I have nothing left !!! I have no reason to live this pathetic life !!! “ he slowly whispered hanging his head down “ Hana … tell me what do you want me to do now ?!? How can I live without you ?!? TELL ME … !!! “ he screamed raising his head to face the dark sky .

‘  What is going on here ?!? … Can’t he see me ?!? ‘  I thought , but then my gaze turned to the gravestone , that’s when I felt the sharp pain ….

Choi Hana

A loving daughter and a great person

You’ll stay always in our hearts ,

May Heaven be your second home and take care of you from now on !!!

Till we meet again !!!

“ How is this possible … am I dead ?!? NO how can I be dead …. Is this my future ?!? “ I asked Soo Jin .

“ We’ll see Hana … only time will show “ she smiled lightly coming toward me , I step back and started to cry. Is she showing me the future? “ Now its time “ she said before placing her hands on my eyes ….

I woke up in my bed and breathed heavily , the same pain came again . Grabbing my chest with my hands I tried not to think about it . Is this my future ?!? I don’t want to leave Taemin like that , I just cant’s do that to him !

I got up and changing in something random , I went downstairs to have breakfast before going to school . After I kissed my mother I went out just to find Taemin waiting for me in front of the house . He pulled me into his embrace and we headed down the street . It was only a bad dream and that’s all ….

“ What’s on your mind !? “ he asked, pinching my nose lightly .

“ Oh , nothing …. “ and we entered the school . I know that he wanted to know all my dreams , but now I’ll ruin everything … maybe someday I’ll tell him !!! 

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