I was almost asleep when my phone rang next to me, and I was talking to a very worried Ichi.

“Jonghyun… Yuki… hospital… go….” was what he said through deep breaths. I understood completely. I ran out of bed and didn’t even bother to get dressed as I grabbed my jacket and took the car our manager rented for our stay in Japan. With a quick word of “Goodbye, I’ll be back,” to the others, I headed for the hospital.

Something had happened to Yuki.

***

I arrived at the hospital and I saw her mom with a man I assumed was her dad. Who else could it be? I approached the two and I found myself on the ground in less than a minute. Her dad had punched me.

“You… how dare you come back in her life after what you’ve cost her! Look at what’s happened to her now!” her dad was in a fit of rage I could not describe. I was trembling on the floor. Pathetic. Her mom went to my side and helped me up. It seems that she was on my side, after all. But that look of sadness could not be erased from her face.

“Anata, we should talk this out with Jonghyun. Fist fights usually don’t end up well….” her mom told him. I was relieved to think that I didn’t have to throw my own punches.

We sat outside the emergency room so I had a feeling she was in there. I had to go against my will to break open the door and be with her at that time. And so, her parents explained to me what had happened.

The moment they got home to check on Yuki, she was collapsed on the floor, unconscious. At first they thought that she just fell asleep but her hand was clutched over her heart. And then they knew…

Yuki had suffered a heart ailment ever since she was little. It came and went whenever it pleased so there are times when she’s okay and there were times when she would feel very hurt, her chest tightening and all. It turns out that when I left for Japan, the symptoms came back again, and the doctor explained that it was because of too much emotion. Too much of everything could hurt her. She was too sad therefore her heart reacted to it.

And now it came back because…

“She’s too happy,” her father said as he looked at me with angry eyes, “because of you. Again, you’ve caused her harm.”

I was shocked. Those times I saw her hand over her heart and she would just shrug away my concerns. Miyo’s sad look whenever it happened. And lately… she’s been too happy lately. Because of me? It hurt me to think that someone could suffer from too much happiness.

They left me waiting for her there in front of the emergency room since they had to make preparations on her stay in the hospital. Her dad’s words echoed through my mind the whole time…

“Because of you…”

“You hurt her again…”

Next thing I knew was that Ichi’s hands were patting my head, and I was back to reality.

“It’s been 4 hours of waiting, kid. You should get some rest,” He said. His eyes looked sad.

“When did you get here?”

“A few minutes ago. I came as fast as I could.”

I sighed, “It’s my fault…” he punched me playfully on the shoulder and said, “Stupid! At least this time, she was happy. She’ll recover. She’s strong. You should know, of all people.”

I smiled at his remark. Yes, she’ll get better. She will…

***

The both of us waited until morning for her to get out of the ER. It wasn’t until 6AM that she did. They had trouble with her heart. Ichi snickered and said, “Troublesome heart, like the owner.” I didn’t know how he pulled himself together. I was on the verge of breaking. Every now and then, though, Ichi would mutter to himself and I’d hear, “We won’t lose her.”

I waited outside the room her parents got her because it was their right to come see her first. Hey, I’m just the troublesome lover who caused her harm, right? Ichi came in so I was alone in the hallway. Weird. Only a few people were in this hospital. I guess it’s a private one. I looked at my watch and it was already 9AM… the time Warner Music scheduled the release of Yuki’s Everlasting Sunset music video. I laughed by myself. If only they knew the situation she was in right now.

Her family came out and it was my turn to go in, with Hyung giving me an encouraging look and their dad staring daggers at me.

The first thing that registered in my head as I entered the room is that she was still breathtakingly beautiful. Despite the fact that she was just wearing a hospital gown. Despite the fact that she had a monitor attached to her. I shook my head to clear them off of negative thoughts as I approached her bed.

“Hey…” was the only thing that came out of my mouth. Yuki tilted her head and smiled, “It’s you…”

“How are you feeling?”

“Alive”

“I-I’m-I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” she said as she tried to reach out to me. I sat beside the bed where she could and she ruffled my hair.

“You didn’t tell me.. I should’ve… I could’ve been more careful with you,” I said as I took her hand in mine. “Anniyo. That meant you would hold back your feelings for me. I wanted to… feel it again,” she replied as she shook her head.

“Your dad said I hurt you again… this is the second time.”

“Don’t listen to that old man. He’s just worried he’ll lose his idol daughter,” Yuki laughed.

I couldn’t get angry with her for some reason. I wanted to tell her that she’s wrong, that her dad was right that I caused her harm. I’m… just a troublemaker.

“Jonghyun…” she said and I looked at her as she put my hand over her heart, “you might not know it but… you are the reason why this thing is still beating, you know. Without you, I’m too sad and I bet my heart would stop.”

I shook my head, “But with me, your heart will get too excited and it’ll be the same.”

“Nope. At least with the latter, I’d die happy, right?”

“Yah, don’t joke like that! I won’t let you leave me that easily.”

“I’m not going anywhere for a while, that’s for sure.”

Then her meds kicked in since she felt sleepy suddenly. I let her sleep after I kissed her forehead. I sat there, looking at her sleeping form and wondering what in the world I was doing.

This was a mistake… A mistake… If I loved her, I wouldn’t want to cause her harm. If I loved her, I should go away. I had to try making it in a way that she won’t be sad again.

I love her, that’s why I should go away.

Because I love her….

Hey yo everybody!!! Update! Have you been waiting long. Tsk3... Yuki's sick... have you noticed it from before? I left a few not-so-obvious hints in the past chapters. LOL

Stay tuned for the next chapter.... *imitates Katsuragi Keima from The World God Only Knows anime* I can see the ending....

...or maybe not :P

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Love lots,

Kei