[Ichi] I’m the Big Brother Part.1

It has been three weeks since DNA’s debut stage and we’re still busy as ever. The company was small with just one group. I’m hoping to expand soon.

I was in FNC Music to talk about things with President Han. Things concerning my sister. I explained to him what had happened almost 2 years ago, what they did to Jonghyun, what they did to my Yuki. Surprisingly, President Han repeated the reasons I thought were behind everything. That Jonghyun showed potential it’s just that he hasn’t grasped what it was yet, but the President realized it the moment they left for Japan.

Jonghyun’s songs came from his sadness. His masterpieces were reflections of grief and misery and longing.

I knew, of course. You could always feel the emotion in his songs. But Yuki is more important, she’s my baby sister after all. If I were to choose between Jonghyun’s success and Yuki’s happiness, I would choose the latter. I love her more than anything.

“Lately, though, Jonghyun has been in a dry state,” President Han interrupted my thoughts. Right, snap back into reality, Ichi.

He looked at me, making sure that he had my full attention, “I guess the old approach doesn’t work anymore.”

I smiled, “Well, it has almost been 2 years. Some tricks grow old.”

“Perhaps you’re right.”

“Han-saeng, I suggest we just let things take their own course. They’re not kids anymore.”

“You’re right, Ichi-goon. And I’m sorry for what I did before, cutting contact between Jonghyun and your sister. I will give him everything once he comes back. I promise.”

We shook hands when we reached an understanding. One problem down, a lot more to go.

***

“Oppa!” I heard her call behind me. Today was Sunday so we were supposed to hang out. Lately we’ve been spending too much time together because of their debut that I thought she was sick of having me around. When I asked her to go to the amusement park, though, she didn’t object.

“It’s nice to be normal once in a while,” was what she said.

I looked at her and frowned, “You should dress like a girl.”

“I’m a rocker, so I wear whatever I want,” she replied. She’s still cute no matter what she wears, though. That aura of confidence mesmerizes even me. Even me, who knew of all that pain she had.

My phone beeped and I glanced quickly at the text. Oh, good.

“Let’s go, Yuki.”

***

We were lining up for the roller coaster when I had received a call from the office. Production problems. I leaned over to Yuki and said, “Can you go on without me? I have to take this call. Work.”

She rolled her eyes, clearly she’s annoyed that I’m not going on with her but she understood how important my work is for me so she nodded anyway. And so I took the call.

***

[Yuki] A Roller Coaster Ride Indeed Part.1

Typical big brother. Of course I understood that he needed to take the call. I just wanted to spend more time with him.

I got on the ride with an annoyed face. I was too preoccupied that I didn’t notice the person who sat next to me.

Idiot. He was smiling like one.

“What are you doing here, Lee Jonghyun?!” I exclaimed, surprised when someone took my hand.

“I just happened to be here,” he replied. He looked handsome, as always, even if he was just wearing a black v-necked shirt and jeans. It’s always his smile that made me breathless though… and his eyes.

I snapped out of that train of thought. He had to be here for a reason. Could it be… Ichi? Maybe, maybe not. After all, he seemed sincere in wanting to spend time with me.

Funny thing, though, I never took my hand away from Jonghyun’s grasp. I never denied his want for skinship. And I don’t know why.

Perhaps it’s because I’m used to it? Or is it because I really didn’t care? I’m still undecided when it came to these things.

“Yuki… that encounter with Jinwoon a few days ago…”

Oh, I’m sure he wanted to talk about THAT. He was giving me confused stares all over the place.

Jinwoon, what do I think about that kid? He’s grown up now, and an idol at that. He didn’t forget, that was for sure. But why did he approach me that day? I owe him, I thanked him. Yet something at the back of my mind tells me that’s not the end of the story.

“Yuki!” Jonghyun’s voice led me back to reality.

“It doesn’t matter. You don’t need to care. We’re not together anyway. Jinwoon and I are just friends, just like you and me.”

I know that hurt him. I’ve known him ever since we were kids. The look in his face shot through me like my words shot through him.

Just friends. Just. Friends.

But his face changed and he said, “Then, we’re just friends right?” I nodded but he added, “Then I guess you won’t mind if I did this.”

He leaned over and kissed me on the lips. I was about to pull away but his hands were on the back of my neck as if saying, “Nothing you can do about it.”

I thought he was about to end it, when he pulled in deeper, and his hand caressing my face didn’t help either.

I couldn’t help it. My heart was fluttering sky high. I felt butterflies in my stomach. Instinctively, I grabbed his back and pulled on his shirt. I could feel a smile forming on his lips even though he was still kissing me.

“Jonghyun-“ I managed to get out but that only gave him the opportunity to go even farther.

Aish. We were in a public place! People can see us!

But then… when I thought I was about to lose all dignity, he stopped. Seeing my shocked face made him laugh and he held my hand like nothing happened.

The roller coaster started. I did not scream. I didn’t even enjoy.

I was thinking of Jonghyun. The way he looked jealous when I acknowledged Jinwoon and talked to him casually. The way his face became when I told him that he and I were just friends. The way he didn’t care if I said that we were nothing more. The way he didn’t care about kissing me in a public place. The way he held my hand, and never let go.

I knew that he loved me, he always had. But I’ve made a decision not to stand between him and his dream. I told myself to stay away, and get over him.

I knew that I loved him, but I had to tell myself that I shouldn’t.

And that’s why it hurt even more… knowing that the both of us need each other, but we can’t. At least, that’s what I think.

I turned a new leaf. A new chapter in my life. And in those pages not a single person named Lee Jonghyun was going to be in it.

***

[Ichi] I’m the Big Brother Part.2

I looked up at the roller coaster and tilted my head to the side. Yuki… I know where your happiness is, even when you don’t. He will take care of you, you just have to realize that.

I just hope Jonghyun does what he’s supposed to. He came to me a few days ago when I was at MBC giving my suggestions on their new show. We talked, privately. Even if he didn’t ask me, though, I was willing to help him. After all, he did promise never to hurt her again. And I can only be around for so long. I’m just the big brother. I knew that I needed to let her go, someday.

Remembering the days when Yuki was in that state of depression opened my eyes on how much of a fool I was. I never did anything to protect her before. To be honest, I don’t think I even cared. What had happened knocked some sense into me. I was immature, irresponsible, selfish.

Now, though, I am different. Yuki has become my whole world. Our parents were never around so we were the only family each other had. Everything I do, is for her.

I admit I was sad that day she told me she was quitting music, because it caused so much pain to her, I didn’t have a choice but to agree. Music was the only thing we had. It was our life. When she quit, I saw her as an empty shell. Taking up some other university course… but she was happy, and that was what mattered most.

But now, seeing her like this made me think otherwise. Is she really happy? Has she faked her happiness all this time?

Eventually, she went back to music one day and that assured me for a bit. Until CNBLUE’s songs came out and she would shut herself from the world whenever Jonghyun’s songs were on.

That was when I knew that he was for her. If she didn’t love him anymore, why bother feeling any hate, anger and sadness?

She needed him, because I am not enough. That, in itself is hard to admit even for me.

I’m just the brother after all.

Doing this for Yuki, I’m doing this for Yuki.

As I glanced up at the roller coaster ride coming to an end, I whispered to myself, “Sorry little sis, but oppa is doing this for you,” and took off in my car without even saying goodbye for the day.

***

[Yuki] A Roller Coaster Ride Indeed Part.2

When we got down, I received a text from Ichi.

From: OPPA :3

Message: Sorry, Yuki, the office called and said they needed me. I already left. You know your way

    home anyway so you’ll be fine. Take care… and don’t let other guys take you away from me.   

    Kekeke~

Great. He abandons me suddenly.

I turned to Jonghyun and said, “Oppa left, so apparently I’m free.”

He nodded and took me to the other rides, bought me cotton candy… we had fun. Though only a few words were exchanged between us.

Just then, a thought hits me, “Yah, why aren’t people bothering about us?”

He looked at me and laughed, “Didn’t I tell you that I’m not as famous as the others? That’s why.”

“But then, they noticed you in the café.”

“Only because they noticed Jinwoon first,” his forehead crinkled at the name, “somehow they connect the dots and realize I’m an idol too.”

It left me thinking for a minute, “What about me?”

“You’ve just debuted so people won’t be as familiar with your face too.”

I sat on the bench, tired. I realized that I had so much to learn, and I was feeling sad for Jonghyun because of what he said, “I’m not as famous as the others.”

He seemed to read my expression because he laughed and said, “It has its advantages, though. Like, I can go out on a date with you.”

A date. Is this what it was? Is Ichi’s leaving me for work merely coincidence?

“Jonghyun—“

He cut me off, “I don’t want to hear it, Yuki. I’m having so much fun right now,” I understood. He didn’t want me repeating those words I knew would hurt him over and over again.

Jonghyun raised my chin and looked at me in the eyes and said something that made me blush, “Shall we go to your place now?”

I hit him on the shoulder. He laughed and explained, “I just wanted to know where you lived,” then he lowered his voice and added, “or is there something else you wanted to do?”

“Babo!” I began to walk away from him, my face still red. Go away thoughts!!! I was almost at the parking lot when I remembered that I came here with Ichi and he left… I had no car.

The tinkling of keys behind me made me turn. Of course.

“Get in,” Jonghyun nodded towards his car. I hesitated but got in. I don’t have that much of a choice.

We were headed for my apartment and I told him on where to turn and this and that. When we arrived, he got out of the car with me and followed me in.

“Nice place,” was all he said as he looked around.

“I don’t think we’re getting a dorm, though,” I told him as I sat on the sofa.

“Not necessary since the purpose of the dorm is bonding, and you’ve known each other for quite a while now,” his voice echoed from the music room. Curious of what he was doing, I stood up and went inside too.

He was seated on one of the bean bags and had my guitar in his arms. His form was gracious. Like he was meant to play. Only a few guitarists had that feel, to be honest.

Playing a few chords, he sang, “Nemurenu yoru wa, ame no oto sae. Yasashiku utau tonight. Shizukana yume wa ao no sekai to, tomo ni nemuru good night~”

It was a new song, the lyrics weren’t complete yet so he hummed the chorus part. When he stopped, he told me, “Yonghwa hyung wants me to put a bit of English in the lyrics. More words than the usual. I don’t know much, though.”

I let him play it again, and made up lyrics as I sang along, trying my best to use words in English, “Please take a piece of me and when the morning comes, I’m waiting for rain to wash all my tears away~”

“Nokosareta kiokuwa kazeni fukarete~” he sang, smiling.

“Come feel the season changing with every heartbeat~”

 “Meguri yuku hibi only you and me~”

With that, he ended, still smiling. I realized that I was smiling too. It was just like old times.

We just sat there, looking at each other, lost in each other’s eyes, when Jonghyun’s phone rang. I could hear a very angry Yonghwa screaming at him from the receiver,

“LEE JONGHYUN! DIDN’T I TELL YOU TO BE CAREFUL?! YOU’RE ALL OVER THE INTERNET!!!” Jonghyun’s eyes widened and looked at me, I immediately went to my room and opened the computer then, looked at him. He typed his name on the Naver search bar and we both saw what Yonghwa was angry about. It was everywhere, articles, fan accounts, tweets, posts… everywhere.

CNBLUE’S LEE JONGHYUN CAUGHT ON A DATE. WHO IS THIS GIRL?

LEAD GUITARIST OF FLOWER BOY BAND CAUGHT KISSING ON ROLLER COASTER

JONGHYUN (CNBLUE) WITH A GIRL IN THE AMUSEMENT PARK

It didn’t even take 10 minutes when a new post appeared,

“3 idols spotted at a café in Seoul, Lee Jonghyun sat at the same table with Jung Jinwoon and newly-debuted DNA leader, Kim Yuki”

I scrolled down and saw the comments

“Ohmygosh, could this girl be Jonghyun’s girlfriend?”

“Is that the same girl caught kissing him?”

“She should leave Jonghyun oppa alone”

It spread like wildfire when the counter had so many hits, and comments kept increasing and increasing. I was frozen in front of the screen. Jonghyun was behind me, talking on his phone.

“Calm down, hyung. The press are already at the front door? I don’t think they know where her house is. Yes, I’m here right now. I have my car. No, they don’t know my plate. What? Okay, I’ll stay. Not leaving. You worry too much. Tell manager and president I’m sorry for being reckless. Bye.”

I felt his hands on my shoulder and it gave me a jumpstart. I looked at him but he was smiling.

“I guess I’ll have to stay here for the night.”

I was about to answer when my phone rang. It was oppa.

“Yuki? Are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m with him.”

“Who, Jonghyun?”

“Yes.”

“Good. I want you to stay there until I take care of this.”

“I don’t see why I have to leave. Angry fan girls might recognize me.” I heard Jonghyun chuckle from behind.

“Yuki…”

“I know, I’m sorry oppa.”

“Haha. Are you kidding me? Don’t worry too much. Oppa will take care of it. I just hope things won’t get more complicated than this.”

“They won’t.”

“See you soon, princess.”

***

[Ichi]

I hung up.

 I was reading one article and hoped that this extra piece won’t interfere with the plan. Jung Jinwoon.

2AM’s Jinwoon.

***

[Yuki] A Roller Coaster Ride Indeed Part.3

I sighed and looked at Jonghyun. I am someone to blame for this, too. But he didn’t seem to care. In fact, he seemed amused.

“You don’t seem to be worried.”

“It’s just that I never expected something like this to happen. You don’t have to worry, though. Besides, we’re just friends aren’t we?” this time, he used my words against me. I felt what he felt when I said those words to him.

As if it wasn’t enough trouble already, he added, “Besides, everything usually ends up with hanging endings. Hana and Minhyuk. Now THAT’S a good story. I have to give credit to Hyukkie, though, he knows how to hide well.”

“What do you mean?”

“What you think I mean.”

Finally he admitted it, though now was not the time for that. I breathed in deep.

He patted a spot on the bed and I sat there, next to him. “What are we going to do, Jonghyun?”

“I don’t exactly know, Yuki.”

Today’s events took their toll on me and I collapsed on the bed, falling asleep as soon as my head touched the covers. Jonghyun was beside me, but I didn’t care.

I just wanted to rest.

Hello~! First of all, I'd like to say thank you to my subscribers! Love yah all!!!

Okay. Haha. My wrist feels a little better and so I wrote THIS. Long, huh? Call it a "special" chapter. LOL. 

The press ruins everything, huh? Oh well. We'll see, we'll see...

Jonghyun is getting bullied more and more... but he's pushy too. And they got caught kissing! Hahahahahaha!

Your comments inspire me, so keep 'em coming!

Subscribe too, while you're at it :)

Love,

Kei

PS. My bestie is away for the week T,T how can I survive without her? She's here in AFF too! Lookie for icallumochi :) I miss you already!!!