“Eh? You’re back together? So that’s it?” Eri was on my bed, she and Miyo were having a sleepover since SNU has a break because of the festival so we won’t have class on Monday.

“Of course it’s not,” I replied, looking for a decent pair of pajamas in my drawer. Usually I just collapse on my bed, you see.

What happened earlier… It was all so sudden. I let my emotions get ahead of me. When I heard him tell Ichi all those things, I guess I just lost my cool façade.

I could tell Miyo knew that look I had in my eye, “You’re still thinking about it. So why’d you say yes?”

“I didn’t.”

“Yuki, from what you told us, that was definitely a yes,” Miyo said as she was browsing through the Internet. No articles of Jonghyun came out on news sites but there were various fan accounts posted on some sites. Wow, he’s really “well-hidden” like Oppa said.

“Sigh. We have quite a few problems piling up. Yuki and Jonghyun going back to their relationship when Yuki just rushed into it and Hana acting all suspicious lately,” Miyo said.

“You’re always worrying, Miyo. You’ll grow old early if you’re like that,” commented Eri. She was slowly getting sleepy but she tried to shake it off by rolling around on my bed.

Finally, I found a pair of Pororo pajamas and a white shirt to wear to sleep and I sat on the edge of the bed, “You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll fix my problem… somehow.”

Eri tackled me from behind and we were on the floor, she was hugging me from the back, “Yah, our Yuki’s getting older and more mature, huh? You used to go to us for help all the time.”

“We just don’t want you hurt again, Yuu. It was hard for us last time seeing you in that state,” Miyo added, her eyes still fixed on the screen.

Oh, last time.

***

“Yuki! Open the door!” I could hear my brother knocking so loud. I didn’t want to go out. Heck, I don’t want to live anymore.

I hated everything. Ichi. Music. Guitars. Jonghyun. Especially Jonghyun.

For so many days I didn’t go out of the house. I knew my friends missed me. I knew I needed to get a grip. I couldn’t. It hurt. It hurt so much.

The tight feeling on my chest always came back, perhaps even more than usual. I bore the pain. I didn’t care if it killed me. I didn’t care…

Then, one day, I decided to go back to normal. Like how things were. Like he didn’t even exist. There were some things, though, that I needed to change.

“Oppa, I’m not going to do music anymore. I’m not going to school for music. I’m going to go study for something else.”

Ichi oppa looked at me with his usual concerned eyes. Ever since the day I came home soaked in rain, with tears flowing down from my eyes, the happy-go-lucky brother I had developed a solemn look I never knew he had. I had made my brother a sad person. That shouldn’t have happened. Now, he was always protective over me, fussing over little things.

He simply nodded to what I said and resumed reading the papers he was holding. He understood perfectly. I stood up and kissed him on the cheek and you could see a faint smile form on his face, “Thank you, Oppa. You’re the only guy I can trust.”

One day I was wandering around in the streets of Seoul when I heard a familiar sound in the alleyway. I remembered that there was a music club there, where bands would go and perform, guitarists showing off their skills.

I’d simply take a peek inside. That day, I heard loud noises that weren’t complimenting the music. A fight?

“Hey, kid, you’re not old enough to go in without supervision. You are a kid no matter how tall you are,” the guard said. Usually students weren’t allowed sometimes. The kid was tall, tall for his age, and he was close to tearing up when I decided to help.

“It’s okay, Ajusshi, I just came late. I’m his noona,” I told the guard. He looked at me and the look in his eyes told me that he recognized me but he just couldn’t remember. Ah, he is an ajusshi after all.

He scowled and said, “Okay, you can go in now, kid. Next time, wait for your noona.”

“Th-Thank you,” the boy stuttered when we were already in. A band was performing on stage and they were quite a sight.

“Am I really your noona though?” I asked him and he gave me one of those “eye smiles”. Yah, he looks like a cat when he does that.

“I’m a 91-liner.”

“Hmmm. So I am your noona. You can call me noona, then.”

“Eh? What year was noona born?”

I tilted my head a bit and smiled, “It’s a secret.”

He seemed a bit annoyed at that but then, I can get annoying sometimes so it didn’t bother me.

“Noona, you like this kind of places?”

I thought for a bit, “I did. I used to play guitar.”

“Did? Used to? Noona’s talking in past tense. You should say that you do like this place and that you do play guitar.”

“Yah,” I punched him playfully on the arm, “why should a kid tell me how to speak properly in Korean?”

He simply shrugged as an answer. I noticed that I liked his smile. It was so bright and his eyes almost disappeared every time he did it.

I sighed and added, “I guess I’ve decided to quit music.”

“Noona!” I was surprised to hear him shout. Although nobody else noticed because the band was still playing loudly.

“You know why I am here, noona? Because I want to become a musician someday. I love rock a lot and it’s my dream to perform on a rock concert. Noona, once you have started on music, there is no way back. It will still be there, you will still go back to it. That is why I’m trying my hardest to reach my dreams. That’s how much music is important to me. And because noona came to this place even though she said that she’s quitting music, means that she hasn’t entirely given up.”

I have to admit, his words shook my being that time.

“I guess I’ll have to look for it again, don’t I?”

He nodded and smiled, “You can do it, noona. You already have a fan in me.”

He walked away as soon as he knew our conversation was over but I caught up to him and asked for his name.

“I’m Kim Yuki, by the way.”

“Calling you noona was enough for me. But I’m happy you told me your name. I’m Jinwoon. Jung Jinwoon.”

***

I woke up with a start. Eri and Miyo were still asleep beside me. Why did I have that dream? I remember when I got home that day, I picked up my guitar after a long time. Jinwoon’s words echoed in my head,

“… because noona came to this place even though she said that she’s quitting music, means that she hasn’t entirely given up.”

Yes, I remember now, that was the day I finally got better. The day I decided that my love for music didn’t just end with that guy.

That was the day when I got better, the day when I said I’ll get over him.

I sat there in the silence. It was very early in the morning so I lay back down again and I let myself drown in my thoughts.

Jinwoon. I wonder if he has achieved his dream? 

Yo~ Update for everyone! Yay!

Tsk3... Yuki thinks she rushed things and what is with that dream? Slowly the past is unveiling isn't it? 

I wonder what will happen next? 

Dance class went well... the next dance we're learning is hard, though -_-

The weekend is coming so I can probably write more^^

I'm thinking the next chapter will be in Yoona's POV again or Yonghwa's... I need to give Yuki and Jonghyun's thoughts a break. Haha.

Please don't forget to comment and/or subscribe! 

Oh yeah, CNBLUE won DISK BONSANG in the GOLDEN DISK AWARDS! So happy :)) 

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE WINNERS^^ (I cried when they announced that SJ won the DISK DAESANG. They deserve it for a long time now...)