I’ve had a bad feeling ever since Hana came back after she wandered around and told us she saw CNBLUE’s guitarist but she was looking for Minhyuk. I didn’t want to think of it much, though, since we still had a stage to perform.

Our performance went smoothly and I enjoyed being onstage, playing my guitar and singing even though there was a tug in my gut that reminded me that I was being watched by millions of people. That’s how strong the hallyu is, how famous the 9 girls we performed with were.

We immediately came back to the waiting room to watch the other performances on the provided television when they came. I knew this was unavoidable. Idols came to greet each other all the time and since we were new faces, it couldn’t be avoided. Since we were a rock band, THEY couldn’t be avoided.

I saw Yonghwa’s face, looking at me with sad concern. I hated it when people look at me that way. I’m not weak. Then there were the two maknaes, the drummer and the bassist. And of course, there was him…

I always told him he should cut his hair but he never did, for me. He cut his hair for his career. I knew it would look good in him, but he never listened. I’m not important, anyway.

His performance earlier was spectacular. You could feel the emotion in his voice. Instead of being moved, though, I got more annoyed. Seriously, the theme is ‘beginnings’ and you sing that song? Come on…

So there we were, shaking each other’s hand, looking into each other’s eyes and I pulled back. I couldn’t stand holding him. I wanted to hit him, make him feel pain. Yet I knew I had to act professional. I still had an image to establish and maintain since we were just starting out.

There was a look of sadness in his eyes when I pulled back and we didn’t say a word to each other but the last things he said echoed in my brain, “I’ll come back for you, promise… I’m sorry… I love you.”

Fortunately the door opened and came in their brother band, FT Island. I was impressed at their lead guitarist’s performance earlier that it blew me away.

“Uwa~ You’re the guitarist earlier! You were awesome!” said one member as he grabbed my hands and smiled. He had long hair and was the vocalist, I had known his name earlier when Eri pointed each member out for me and named them.

“Kamsahamnida, Hongki-sshi,” I replied as I took my hands away from him and bowed. I glanced at Jonghyun and he looked annoyed because someone grabbed my hand in front of him. Why does he care?

“Yah, Hongki, don’t give them a first impression of you being a playboy,” Yonghwa said and the boys laughed all except for Hongki.

To my surprise, the lead guitarist came up to me and offered his hand, “Annyeonghaseyo, I’m Choi Jonghun, the lead guitarist. What Hongki said is true, though. You played perfectly.”

I took his hand and shook it. I could feel the calluses on his hands that developed through many years of playing the guitar, “Thank you, Jonghun-sshi. I’m Kim Yuki, also the lead guitarist.”

The blonde bassist, Jaejin, snapped his fingers and exclaimed, “Hyung! Yuki-sshi! You guys have a lot in common! Lead guitarist, leader! Yah, perfect!”

“Jin, don’t go spouting out nonsense,” at last Jonghyun couldn’t keep his cool as he blurted it out. Most people in the room looked at him. Yoona’s eyes were darting back and forth from Jonghyun to me.

“That was rude, Burning. Jinnie was just joking,” Jonghun looked at him with an annoyed expression on his face. I couldn’t blame him. Someone else told off one of s, any leader would feel the same.

I recognized a competitive tension going on between the two lead guitarists. They were friends, but there was a friendly competition going on somewhere. Perhaps on who was the better guitarist? I wouldn’t want to bet against Jonghun on that since it’s obvious that he’s much more experienced than even me. But then again Jonghyun was one of those fast learners, like me.

I had to stop my thoughts when it came to me realizing how much he and I had in common. Fortunately, Yonghwa broke the tension and said, “Sorry about that, bros. Jonghyun hasn’t been in the best of moods lately.”

I guess they all understood because the atmosphere went back to normal and we formally introduced DNA to FT Island and they introduced themselves to us.

I turned to Ichi and told him, “Ima nani?” Now what? I knew he understood me. I sometimes talk in Japanese when I’m rattled. I’m a foreign language student after all, I knew a few languages here and there.

He smiled at me and whispered, “Wareware wa matsu,” We wait.

Miyo and Eri approached me and I already knew what they were going to say, “Yuki, he’s here. What are you going to do?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? You want us to pretend like we don’t know him? He’s OUR friend, YOUR Jonghyun!”

“Shut up, please. People might hear.”

“You’re impossible.” Miyo said as she dragged Eri away from me. I looked at Jonghyun and he was looking at me. Since when? Why was he doing that?

I looked at him and nodded towards the door and went to a vacant waiting room down the hall, and I heard the opening and closing of the door. When I turned around, he had his arms around me and we were wrapped in a tight embrace.

***

“Let go of me, you coward,” was what I told him after it felt like a while. I wasn’t hugging him back, can’t he take a hint? Unfortunately, he only loosened the embrace and pulled his face close to mine. I could feel him breathing.

I pushed him away as I realized what he was about to do. What the hell?

“Yuki…” he said.

No. I shouldn’t give in. I had to stay strong. That uncomfortable feeling in my chest was back, and I was trying my best to breathe normally.

“I still love you,” his words came out and surprised me. How can he say that? I hated him, I didn’t want anything to do with him.

“Shut up, please,” was all that came out of my mouth. I wanted to scream at him, hit him, show him how I felt. But my brother’s voice echoed in my head, “Are you sure that’s how you really feel?”

Jonghyun was still staring at me, “You look wonderful,” was what he said. Please. Stop.

“You acted like you didn’t know me. Do you know how hurt I felt? And Jonghun and Hongki hitting on you, do you know how much I was jealous? Don’t you care about my feelings?” he added.

“Stupid! When did you care about MY feelings, huh? Where were you when I was down, when I had problems, when I was sad, when I felt hurt? You weren’t beside me. You promised you would. So don’t judge me!” I lost my cool. Fortunately I didn’t scream.

He looked stunned at my outburst.

“I have always been stupid when it came to you,” he replied. I could see the sad look in his eyes. Regret. Disappointment.

“I-“ was all I said before I felt his lips pressed against mine, and once again his arms were around me. I didn’t struggle, I didn’t push him, I didn’t hug him back. I just let him do it.

When he stopped, he looked at me and I knew he noticed that I didn’t care anymore.

“You… you don’t love me anymore?” Jonghyun said, almost close to a whisper. I shook my head slowly and he sighed, “I’m never giving up on you, Yuki. Never.”

“Jonghyun, I don’t love you,” I said as I went out of the room and came back to where the others were.

As I walked I tried to convince myself that what I said was true. But it wasn’t. 

Yuki is in denial. Poor Jonghyun. 

I'm excited for DNA, though. They're gonna debut! (What about their studies? O.o )

I still have a lot of plans for this in my head so you should expect more (and a lot of) chapters! Hehehe^^

I'm gonna leave you hanging (for now) because I'm going to a carnival with my friends and I can't spend the whole weekend typing on the sofa. Haha.

Next of course, will be Jonghyun's POV. And the new indie album will be released with his new song for Yuki! *fistpump* hope that Yuki realizes things when she hears it XD

Don't forget to subscribe and/or comment! The story's getting more and more interesting, in my opinion :D