We were headed for Japan for our last indie concert when I noticed Jonghyun’s sad face when we were waiting for the plane.

“Yah, what’s wrong?”

He sighed and looked at me. Even though he was wearing shades I knew his eyes were tired from practicing. He’s been practicing perhaps too hard lately, “Yuki told me that she only said yes because the events came so fast. She wants us to be friends first, again, like the old times.”

“That means hyung can’t hug and kiss her right? That’s why you’re so depressed?” Jungshin creeped up from behind us. Minhyuk was eating an ice cream cone and listening to music.

“Shut up,” you could hear from Jonghyun’s tone that he was irritated and you did not want to get in a fight with Burning.

We waited for the plane in silence. I was lost in thought.

I remember the day when I asked Jonghyun to come to Seoul with me to be in a band. We didn’t really know each other then but just exchanged greetings occasionally. I just knew that he played guitar, and he showed great potential. What I didn’t know, though, was the effect of what my offer did.

I didn’t know he had a girl best friend who eventually became his girlfriend. I didn’t know that the reason why he said yes was because of her. I didn’t know that the time would come when we would go for training in Japan, that he would leave her. I didn’t know, he didn’t tell me. He should have.

I didn’t know. And so I blamed myself.

The first person who hears Jonghyun’s song is always me. I could always sense the sadness, and he wasn’t making it up. His songs about rain… I used to about it and he would just shake off my comments.

Until the day he decided to tell me everything. That was the day when I left him in charge of the kids because I was cast in a drama and had to go back to Korea. We sat down, we talked. He said that I was his best friend now and he couldn’t keep things from me.

And so I knew. And I blamed myself even more.

***

“Hyung, plane’s here.”

Jonghyun shook me from  my daze. I was the leader, I needed to look strong in front of these kids. I had a concert to do, and we were going to make it one of the best concerts our fans will ever attend to. After all, we are CNBLUE.

***

The concert ended successfully and I felt pumped up. We were headed for a new career, one under a record label in Japan.

Another step up. One step at a time, guys.

I looked at Jonghyun and I remembered when we played Illusion, he was close to tears so he had to close his eyes so that people won’t notice much.

Once again a pang of guilt hit me. Everytime I felt guilty, I bought him something new. I know I should stop doing that. Hehe.

I know what he needed now, is advice. And that is what I’m going to give him this time, I suppose.

We went back to the hotel where we were currently staying and I asked Jonghyun to come talk to me privately.

“Jonghyun, you know-“

“Hyung, I know. I shouldn’t let my personal affairs in my career. I know it would just affect my performance. Sorry.”

“Don’t be stupid. You’re not as strong as you think. One day, you will break down and cry, I know it,” I told him. What I didn’t add is, that I think that it will be happening soon.

“So what do you want me to do, o fearless leader?”

“I think you still need to prove yourself to her. What you did is not enough to fill those years of her spending them without you. You left her, remember. I think now it’s her counterattack to what you did. It’s not that she meant to do it, it just comes naturally. Instinct. A girl’s instinct, at that.”

I smiled, partly for him, partly for myself. Those intense arguments with Seo and her unnies paid off. We were all sensing and trying to predict Yuki’s move. We all saw the effect Yuki has on Jonghyun and vice versa.

Yuki becomes angry and easily irritated whenever Jonghyun is there, and Jonghyun becomes really protective and gets jealous easily.

“What if, there are more than two sides to this story?” I remember Yoona pointed out. Yes, there was that. From what Jonghyun told me, Yuki sent him a message, the only one he got from her after he left, saying that she’s quitting music forever.

But that’s not the case, isn’t it? I mean, she’s in a band. Could that be the other side of the story? From what I understood, Jonghyun was her music. When he left, it all seemed pointless. What gave back meaning?

There was something there… We just have to find it. Yoona has us all hooked up to dig up about their past. I mean, it’s really none of our businesses but I still had that guilt feeling in my gut so I knew I had to make things right.

Even if Jonghyun ends up with the short end of the stick?

I don’t know, really. We need him. And I thought that if things came back to normal it would help not only him, but all of us.

Well, I hope so.

***

“Hyung, I’m going to do it all over again,” I heard him say.

“What?”

“I’m going to start from scratch, and I’m going to prove to her that she’s the only one in my heart. I will make her fall in love with me over and over and over again if I have to until she realizes that I’m never letting go. I’m never giving up. I’m never going to commit the same mistakes again.”

I smiled, “Well, you are annoyingly persistent. But that’s what makes you you, Lee Jonghyun.”

I just hope that you won’t get hurt in the end. I just hope.

Hello. Sorry for taking a while to update. My friends came over so I didn't have much time to spend on the computer...

Anyway, I don't know if you feel it, but I thought this chapter is kind of sad; Jonghyun disappointed at his relationship with Yuki, Yonghwa feeling guilty...

The "other side of the story" though... I've had an idea for it. Of course it involves Jinwoon, obviously^^

I hope everyone can wait for that. I expect it to be interesting :)

Until next time!

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