I sit nervously while fidgeting with my fingers. My eyes keep on checking the phone, in case if I miss any notification. I sigh when I notice that I still have another 15 minutes before the time he promised. I woke up really early today, in mix emotion of nervousness and excitement.

Jiyong-hyung feel so guilty for the past three days because he unable to take me to my appointment with Himchan-hyung today. Baekhyun-hyung and Woohyun-hyung offer to take his place only to be smack on the head by Jaejoong-hyung, him mumbling something about them having extra class and using me as an excuse.

I chuckle as I think back how I spent almost the rest of the week pouting.  I glance hopefully towards Jaejoong-hyung but he also guiltily pat my head, telling me that he has a very important thing to do on that day. It was not until Friday, as I just come back from school. My phone had been vibrating couple times but I just ignore it thinking that maybe it is just Sulli or Kyungsoo. They really have a lot to say and even though I rarely pay attention, they just never give up.

“Yah, Kim Youngjae, why don’t you pick up your phone? God, we give you the phone for a reason you know” Baekhyun-hyung burst into my room startling me.

I was just finished showering and just lying on the bed thinking on how my first week at school had been. Too say I was shock will be an understatement Baekhyun-hyung really knows how to make an entrance. I pick up the phone from inside my bag, grinning apologetically at Baekhyun-hyung.

“Sorry hyung, I thought it was just from my friends so I ignore it” I gasp noticing how many missed call I have and my eyes when wide when it vibrates again and Yongguk-hyung name appear on the screen.

I almost drop the phone if not for Baekhyun-hyung who squeeze my shoulder and looking at me strangely. He raised his eyebrows but decide against voicing out his question as I press the received call button.

“Youngjae, are you ok? Did anything happen? Why aren’t you picking up your phone? Your hyung told me that you finish school at 3 today. Baekhyun-hyung told me that you are in your room. Are you ok?” questions loaded me immediately and Yongguk-hyung evidence concern.

It seems like if I missed this call, he just going to run from wherever he is and barge into my house. I am sure I will receive a smack, which I received from Baekhyun-hyung for losing in my thought.

“Hyung, I am so sorry. I am ok, I am sorry that I didn’t pick up your calls. I place the phone in my bag and I thought it was from my friends. I am really sorry hyung” I could not help but feeling really guilty, how could I be so inconsiderate.

He was dead worried about me while I was just lying on my bed purposely ignoring his calls. Ok, not purposely as I thought it was from Sulli or Kyungsoo but still. 

“It is ok. Thank god you pick up though. I was just about to run to your house if you miss this phone call” the detectives sigh before chuckles on the other line.

“I am so sorry. Why do you call hyung?” I push Baekhyun-hyung head away as his paste it to my phone trying to hear the conversation.

“Ok, ignore your hyung like this” he purposely made sure the man on the other line heard it before dramatically walk out of my room. 

“Sorry, hyung it was Baekhyun-hyung” I chuckles and stuck my tongue towards Baekhyun-hyung.

“Anyway Youngjae, did he tell you yet?” excitement could be heard in his voice and I could feel my heart racing.

“Tell me what? Are you coming over?” I could not help but to smile at the thought of meeting Yongguk-hyung.

“Yes and no. I am coming over but not today. Tomorrow, I am going to take you to your appointment” I already imagine his fatherly like grinning that always comfort me.

“Seriously? You are not lying right?” I try my best to calm myself but my heart seems like it try to jump out of me if not for the ribcage.

“Yeah I am serious”

That is how I sit here nervously glancing at the clock. I spent the rest of the night thinking on what will I says and what could we possibly do today other than the appointment. Then I shake my head as it seems really stupid. He is just being nice and since he is my officer in charge, maybe he takes it as his responsibility to accompany me today.  The worst part is why do I have this feeling? I got a guess but it can’t be.

The phone vibrates and I nearly shriek in excitement when Yongguk-name flashes on the screen.

“Hyung are you here?” I try not to sound like some teenage girls excited to go on a date with her boyfriend and immediately shake my head at how odd my situation to be compare with that.

“Yeah I am outside your door to be precise” I can imagine how he stands coolly in front of my door with his signature grin plaster on his face.

I almost trip while running to the door. I determine not to let he wait any longer, how stupid it is. When the door is open, revealing the man exactly like how I imagine him, I could not help but to push myself directly into him. He chuckles and engulfs me into a hug. Realizing my mistake, I immediately pull back and look to the ground try to hide from the embarrassment.

“Sorry” I mutter nearly inaudibly but the man seems to catch it as I feel a rough and large hand pinching my cheek lightly.

“What are you sorry for Jae?” he gently lift my head and burst out laughing noticing my red cheeks making it even redder than it already is.

“I go get my things” it is more of an excuse as I hurriedly run inside the house grabbing all the things I deem I will need and the bag Baekhyun-hyung prepare for me claiming that it has all things that I will or probably need.

Yongguk-hyung still laughing and I could feel myself stiffen when he places his palm against mine and grabbing it firm. He pinches my cheeks once again and I keep on looking anyway but him, mostly to my shoes. Thousand thoughts or probably million floods my mind throughout our journey.

I purposely put on my earphone trying to avoid any conversation. Why do I hug him? It must have been so weird. God why do I have to think about it so much? It just a hug and he probably don’t care. The thought that he don’t care makes me feel weird and I don’t know why?

“Jae, are you ok? Are you sick or anything?” I am again shaken out of my thought when I feel my earphone is taken out from my one of my ear.

“Yeah, sorry I have been quiet hyung” I softly mutter and he only smile while ruffling my hair.

“Just tell me if something wrong ok? Himchan and Chaerin will kill me if they found out I make you sick or something” he puts his attention back on the road and I gaze towards my laps unable to stare at his side feature.

Without me knowing, a soft smile is form on my face. The way he care, the way he ruffles my hair. I like it and I want him to keep doing it. God, what is wrong with me? Why should I have this thought? It is so weird?

“Hyung…about earlier…sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything” I carefully arrange my words as he park the car safely.

“What are you talking about” I turn to him and our eyes fix. Wrong timing!!!

“Nothing. Just… forget it” I drift my gaze away and he place his hands on top of my head, forcing it to face him and closing their distance that I could feel the warmness of his breath.

“Jae, I am completely fine with hugging with you. I miss you, you know? This is the longest time we spent away from each other right? Besides, it is not like you are gay and have any romantic feeling towards me right?” he chuckles and ruffling my hair before he luckily get out of the car.

Thank god that he misses my sigh of relief as he open the door. Thank god he don’t notice how I gulp when he mention the words gay. That god he don’t notice how I swallow my saliva scanning his features up close like that. I try myself to deny everything but I just come to dead end.

Maybe I am just clingy that I immediately feel so happy to see him today. Maybe I am just missing him like he said that I woke up to early today can’t wait to meet him again today. Maybe I am just a fashionista that I spent nearly an hour trying to find the perfect outfit and maybe I am just crazy that I almost ask Baekhyun-hyung advice on makeup just for today.

“Yeah I am really happy to see you again today hyung” regardless whatever blurting in my mind, I should kept in hidden in there.

We walk hands in hands again towards Himchan office and I inhale one more time trying to compose myself. I allow myself to be comfortable like I always do without any worries or fears.

“Owh Youngjae and looks whose is here? Detective Bang Yong Guk! Mr. Himchan is waiting for you Youngjae” as usual Sunny greets us in her over bubbly way.

“You seems fine Sunny, cheerful as always” Yongguk-hyung smile and I look at them back and forth before it all makes sense that since Yongguk-hyung and Himchan-hyung are friends, he must had been here before.

“Yah Bang Yong Guk, when is the last time you actually comes here? Now you voluntarily come for Youngjae. I am hurt” he playfully punches Yongguk-hyung shoulder before flashing a grin to me.

“Hi hyung, nice to see you again” I don’t know why but always feel so shy when facing Himchan in a different way I do when facing Yongguk-hyung.

“Ahh Youngjae! It is great to see you healthy and happy. C’mon, the faster we start our session the faster we wrap it up for whatever Yongguk has plan for you” he placing his hands over my shoulder and bring me into his office while Yongguk nods and take his sit in one of the sofa near Sunny’s desk.

Like the first time I was here, I still let myself be amaze with the room’s decorations. The color, the paintings all seems so perfect.

“You drink chocolate right?” I nod and he hand me a mug, nudging me to take a sit at the sofa.

“Hyung, is it weird to miss someone so much? You feel extremely happy to see them” I bite my lower lips watching Himchan scribbling something in his pad and watching me in amusement.

“A week in school and you are already in love?” he chuckles watching me spit my drink and my cheeks turn tinted red.

“I am not in love. Besides I am just asking it in general not referring to me” it is obvious that he see clearly through my white lies but this time instead of amusement, confusion paste on his face.

“Ok, it is not about you but what you describe explaining someone who is in love” I feel like someone turns off the air conditioning suddenly it feels so hot and suffocating in here.

“It can be! There is no way that I am in love” he chuckles as my eyes go wide realizing how my none-filter mouth just blurts out those words.

“So you are in love?” I buried my face in my hands and while he observe me amusingly.

“I am not. It is wrong” I yell and immediately regretting, quickly muttering an apology to which he only smiles and nods.

“Why is wrong? You are in love and I think it is more wrong if you are not by now” I hide my face in my palms and shake it again and again trying to deny the fact.

“Youngjae, nothing should be wrong with love. Not when, not how and most importantly not who you are in love with” he smiles when I raise my head gazing him in disbelief.

“Yeah no matter whom” he smiles and ruffles my hair.

The rest of the session goes with I am telling him about my first week of school. How I keep on bump into this strange boy who seems to know Kai-hyung. About Sooyoung-noona and Suga–hyung not forgetting the club meeting. His interest perks up at the mention of Krystal. Well, his eyes sparkle when I tell him about Taemin, Kyungsoo and Sulli. By the end of the session, I am exhausted and forget about what that is bothering me in the beginning.

“Jung Krystal, how is she?” I swear his smile turn creepy at the mention of her name.

“She is ok, I guess. She is cold but she always seems to helping me” I awkwardly said seriously not knowing much about her.

We all grow kind of closer through this week, if Sulli and Kyungsoo non-stop talking, rambling about everything to me no matter how unenthusiastic my response is count. Taemin is nice, always smile but I get a feeling that he kind of grow tired with me. Krystal, she is cold but she always seems to be doing nice thing to me so that left I puzzle.

By the time we finish, he seems really amuse which seriously give me a creeps. My mood is better but the moment I see Yongguk-hyung flashing his smile at me, I know I am doom. I am in love with the detective who saves me. He just not directly tells me that he is not gay and not so supportive of one. I like a boy once when I was 13 but I brush it off as we were best friend since childhood and I just clingy. Now, after the thought with Himchan-hyung and my unintended confession, I am really gay.

“Youngjae marks my words ok. Nothing should be wrong with it. It is a beautiful thing” he winks at me as my face flush red in embarrassment under Yongguk-hyung quizzically looks.

Remember how last time I tell you guys that the pace is so slow, well at least you got some progression here. No worries, I do not progress the story so fast but it is really meant to be this way. I do not cut any chapter or anything in case you wonder. Anyway, enough rambling and enjoy the chapters. Thank you so much for reading it.