Sehun seems cold and distant to the people that never give him a chance. I used to be one of those people, during the time I had liked Jongin. I knew Sehun was friends with Jongin—well, best friends—but I never talked to him too much, nor did he really speak to me. We spoke occasionally, but it wasn't like we were close. I was too fascinated by Jongin and too blinded by, supposedly, love to notice Sehun.

I feel like an absolute for that.

The day he kissed me for the first time made me so confused. I'd told him my problem with liking Jongin, and how I had a feminine face and smaller frame, and I thought I was a freak. No one wanted a man with a face like mine. That was the first time we really had a real, stable conversation. He comforted me. Then he kissed me. I was mad, perplexed, and questioned my crush for Jongin, after that. I tried to avoid him for a long time.

Jongin's boyfriend came home. I knew I had to move on. That's what I was trying to do...then Sehun apologized for everything. He meant it and wasn't playing around. He genuinely liked me, he said. The fact that he cared about my feelings over his own made me so happy. What if he could make me even happier? What if I could care for him like he cared for me? Thoughts like that spun around in my head. I decided I should give him a chance. I couldn't promise I'd say I love you or anything like that...but he said he would wait for me. That alone made my heart beat so fast.

It's been six months since then. Each day, Sehun manages to make my heart rate go through the roof and into the sky in different ways. He's made me blush countless times. He's not cold and distant, once you get to know him and he opens up his heart to you. He's too good to me, to the point where I don't even know if I deserve it. Sehun holds my hand everyday. He showers me with kisses that make me giggle. He lets me sit on his lap or between his legs, keeping his arms around me and his hands on my middle. He doesn't force me into anything like or kissing with tongue. I'm not completely ready to take that step.

I've told him I liked him at this point. I do. I like him a lot. The feeling with him is more intense than it was with Jongin. But I just don't know if I love him yet. Saying those words is something powerful and meaningful. He hasn't said them yet, which I'm only assuming it's because I have never said them. I feel as if he's just waiting for me to say those words. I don't want to rush it though.

Everything feels so real with him. The intimacy. The words he says to me. Everything. I know he means them, and I know he loves me. But it's so hard for me to muster the courage to say those three, little, powerful words.

"Lu?" Sehun called me, as we were on the couch of mine and Tao's apartment, watching a movie. I sat between his legs. He held me tight, as he always did, the occasional soft kiss on the nape of my neck placed. The kisses made my body feel weak and my legs like jelly.

I leaned against him, my head laying on his shoulder and my hands holding his. I hummed in response, drawing circles on his hands.

I heard a light chuckle from his mouth as he planted a kiss in my hair. When Sehun didn't answer, I turned my head to look at him, noticing the small smile playing on the corners of his lips. He kissed my forehead softly, and I blushed. I liked it a lot when he kissed my forehead. I admit it.

"Is something wrong, Sehun?" I questioned him.

Sehun shook his head, still smiling. "No." He had a loving stare towards me. It made the weak feeling return to my body.

"Don't look at me like that..." I whimpered, moving my head back towards the movie.

He chuckled again. "Like what?"

My face flushed red. "L-Like that..."

"Like I'm trying to tell you I love you?"

My eyes went wide and I'm betting my face turned a deeper shade of red. "S-S-Sehun–"

He hushed a finger to my lips, my heart beating fast and hard. "I know you're probably not ready to say it back, and I understand that. I can wait as long as it takes, Lu. But I wanted you to know that..." he drifted off, removing his hand from my mouth and held my own, "I love you. I truly do, Luhan."

Instead of responding, I buried my head in the crook of his neck. I don't know how I'm supposed to respond. I don't even know if what I feel for Sehun is love. If I wasn't confused when he first kissed me, I was sure as hell confused now.

|•~•||•~•||•~•|

"Hey, Baek?" I was talking to Baekhyun on the phone, sometime after midnight. We had become closer in the past year, pretty much to the point where we could talk all night, no problem whatsoever. We'd laugh, cry, yell at each other, you know?

"Hm?"

I swallowed, turning on my side on my bed. "How did you know that you loved Chanyeol?"

Baekhyun was quiet for a moment. He hummed a little in thought, then began talking again. "I guess it was when I realized how lucky I was to have him. He treats me like I'm at the top of his pedestal, he gives me the love he thinks I deserve and then some. My past boyfriends didn't treat me like how Chanyeol does. I really knew when he was the first to say I love you."

I bit my lip, smiling and blushing just a bit. "Thanks, Baek."

"What are friends for?" I could tell by the tone of his voice that he understood why I asked the previous question. I heard the smile on his voice when he said; "I have to go. It's late and Chanyeol's expecting me. See you tomorrow, yeah?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Good night." With that, I hung up, my arm dropping on the bed with my phone in hand. I flipped over on my back, my forearm over my forehead. I thought about Sehun.

I love him.

He showers me with love and affection. He treats me like royalty, as cliché as that sounds. He's the one who said those three words first. I remembered my relationships I had in the past, both with girls and boys. Each one, I was always the first to say it. I don't know if I actually meant it, but at this point, it's pretty clear I didn't. But it was always me. I'd be the one to get attached first. Then they didn't last long. I guess you could say that's one reason why Baekhyun and I could understand each other. He had the same with his previous relationships. He was patient with Chanyeol. It's amazing to see where they are now.

But how do I just tell Sehun?

I don't want to spring it upon him so quickly, since it hasn't been so long that he said it. But at the same time, I don't want—I don't want him—to wait forever for me to finally say it back. I don't want him to be hurting because I can't get my together and muster up some courage to say it.

There's no other way then.

I picked up my phone from my bed and looked for Sehun's contact. I tapped on it, pressing the call button. I brought my cell to my ear, swallowing. My heart began to race, fast. It rang about three times. 

"Luhan, why are you calling so late?" Sehun picked up, concern in his voice.

I took in a deep breath, in attempt to calm my heart. "Do you think we can meet up?"

He was quiet a moment, as if he was contemplating on what just came from my mouth. Then; "Sure. I'm on my way, right now. But how come?"

"I'll tell you when you get here, Sehun. It's better for me to say it to your face than on the phone."

"If you say so. I'll be right there."

The line went silent. I shut my phone off, setting it on my nightstand and plugging it in to charge. I decided to change my clothes quickly, because I was cold. I slipped into a sweatshirt and sweatpants, then walked out of my bedroom to the front door. I waited a few minutes, my heart rate increasing pace as time went on. I kept taking in deep breaths, trying to keep quiet since Tao was sleeping.

There was a soft knock on the door. I opened it, revealing Sehun in a hoodie and pajama pants, but like hell I cared. I gave him a small smile and opened the door wider to let him in. He stuffed his hands in his sweatshirt pocket, walking in quickly. I shut the door quietly, taking hold of Sehun's hand and pulling him into the living room. We both sat on the couch. I curled up into his side, hoping to gain some comfort to calm me.

"What's this all of a sudden?" He chuckled.

That made me smile. He began my hair, placing a single, sweet kiss in it. I felt relaxed, like I could never leave his side like this. I sighed contentedly, shutting my eyes briefly. "I have something to tell you, Sehun."

Sehun stopped my hair. I sat up from his side, holding onto his hand. "Okay. I'll listen fully, you know I will." As he said that, he caressed my cheek and kissed my forehead.

I felt my heart pounding against my chest. Faster. Faster. Faster. And hard. I my dry lips and pressed them into a tight line. Say it. Come on, Luhan, this is what you called him for.

"Lu?"

I breathed deeply again. Then I held his hand tighter. "I love you too, Sehun."

He blinked, his eyebrows shooting up. "You do?"

I nodded again, smiling at him sweetly. His eyes were so warm and happy. Sehun pulled me towards his body and closed his arms around me. He held me tightly, but like he hadn't seen me in years. I felt secure in his arms. My heart just kept racing. I heard a shaky breath leave his lips as he rocked me. I clenched the back of his shirt, holding onto him even more securely.

And we stayed like that. For I don't know how long, we stayed like that. Soon, he let me go, cupping both my cheeks.

"You're not just saying it out of pity or anything?"

I shook my head. "No. I really mean it, Sehun."

He smiled, happily and genuinely. Then he kissed me. It was short, but it held so much meaning and love in it. That kiss turned into longer, more passionate kisses. Those turned into lustful, sloppier kisses that I let him take control of. But he was slow with me. Sehun never wanted to force me into anything. When he looked at me with apologetic, worrying eyes, I just smiled and nodded, telling him it was okay to go further.

He kissed down my neck and touched me gently in all places. He practically worshipped my body as he stripped my clothes off, steadily and slowly. Before I even knew it, he was whispering in my ear, ing inside me at a steady, soft pace. I moaned his name many times, mindful that Tao was sleeping in his bedroom. I let him make love to me. I let him marks on my neck. I let him touch me.

I couldn't have been happier.

He collapsed on me after both our releases. He smiled sleepily. "You really mean it, Lu?"

I tilted his chin up, our lips meeting in a chaste kiss. "Of course I do."