I went to Baekhyun's place, needing only his comfort, because I was sure my mom wouldn't do much for me. Not that she wouldn't but it wouldn't be like Baekhyun's comfort. I guess that's just the way of best friends.

When he opened the door, I immediately jumped into his arms, keeping my face in his chest. He almost fell over by my force.

"Whoa, Kyungsoo!" He yelped, his hands landing on my back.

In that moment, I just began sobbing. I couldn't control it any longer. "B-Baek, he..."

I heard him breathe out, and he completely let his arms wrap around me, fondling my hair. His body warmth consoled me. He let me cry into his chest, me sniffling a bunch of times and him petting my hair and rubbing my back. I was a shaking mess.

Eventually, he let go of me, cupped my cheeks, and dried them with his thumbs. He smiled warmly. "Chanyeol's here, but, I want you to come in and tell me what happened."

I tried to smile, but failed. "Hot chocolate too?" My voice came out shaky and raspy.

"Of course." Baekhyun took my hand and pulled me inside his apartment. I slipped out of my shoes, and walked deeper inside with Baekhyun. He lead me to the living room, where Chanyeol was sitting in, watching TV. Chanyeol looked at me, his eyes filled with worry. I sat down on the couch, rubbing my eyes. "I'll be back. Try to calm yourself a bit, okay, Soo?"

I nodded my head, smiling weakly. Then he disappeared into the kitchen. I lied down on a small pillow, curling my legs into my chest. Everything from just minutes ago hit me hard. Jongin told me pick between him and my job as an idol. Truthfully, I wished I could do both. I wanted him beside me, supporting me in every way he could. But he didn't have the money, and I couldn't break my contract in America, unless they decide they're finished with me or I stop producing good music. Plus, I enjoyed what I was doing, despite the fact that reporters and fans were up my on my relationship.

If there's even one left.

Chanyeol didn't try asking anything. Something told me he understood that I didn't really want to talk about it yet. That actually comforted me more than hurt me. Baekhyun came back a couple minutes later with two mugs of hot chocolate. Even if it's the end of summer, there's never not a time for it. I sat up, and took one of the mugs, the ceramic dish warm in my hands.

"What happened?" Baekhyun asked.

Before I said anything, Chanyeol stood up to leave. But I protested; "Stay, Chanyeol. I don't mind if you hear this..."

Chanyeol blinked. He sat back down, nodding for me to continue.

The words just seemed to flow. I told them about me leaving in three months, which they knew about, and how I was a ing idiot for not telling Jongin in the first place. Chanyeol and Baekhyun knew about Jongin wanting to harm himself because I wasn't there for him. When I told them about Jongin making me choose between him and my career, Chanyeol was seething.

"What the hell is he thinking?!" His tone surprised me. I'd never seen him mad before. Chanyeol was rarely ever mad. He was always smiling and was always kind.

"Yeollie–"

But before Baekhyun could say more than two words, Chanyeol stood up and walked towards the front door. Baekhyun and I chased after him.

"Chanyeol, relax–" I began to say.

He faced me, his eyebrows knitted together angrily. "No. I need to knock some sense into him, he would never say that. Especially to you, Kyungsoo." Chanyeol left quickly, Baekhyun calling after and following him. I was left in Baekhyun's apartment, alone. I couldn't think about anything, nor could I really feel anything, for a few moments. I was just...numb.

Baekhyun came back, and wrapped an arm around me, saying soothing words I didn't really hear or comprehend. I just followed him, until we reached back to the living room and sat on the couch again. He gestured me to rest my head in his lap, which I obliged to. We were quiet a while, but he started talking again when the silence came too long.

"I can't believe someone like Jongin would say that to you." He said, my hair softly.

"He was in more pain than I was, apparently."

Baekhyun shifted a little, still keeping his dainty hands in my hair. "No. You both were in the same amount of pain. It's okay, because it just shows how much you both mean to each other."

"I guess...but he made me–"

"I know. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you, Soo. You two are just about the best couple I've seen and known, just for the love and affection you have and show for each other. And how you rarely have quarrels like this. That's a good thing to have." I only remained silent, suddenly just enjoying the sound of my best friend talking. "You two will be fine, I'm sure if it."

A faint smile creeped it's way to my lips as his became slower. "Thank you, Baek."

He kissed my forehead, just like how he used to when we were kids. I'd be shaking and crying because of a thunderstorm, and he'd kiss my forehead like a mother or a sister would. I realized that he hadn't done that in a long time. But I'd also been happy for a while, then I was gone for ten months. I missed the way he did that.

Then everything happened all at once.

Baekhyun's cell phone started ringing. He slipped it out of his hoodie pocket, and answered it.

"Yeah, Chan?"

Muffled, rushed voices came from the phone.

"Whoa, whoa, slow down. What happened?"

More muffled voices. Baekhyun was silent. I looked up at him. His lips were tightened, and by his expression, he was holding back tears. He nodded and hummed a couple times, a tear leaving his eye and falling onto my cheek. I didn't wipe it away.

He was shaking. "Okay...I love you too. We'll be there tomorrow." He hung up the phone and set it on the coffee table. Tears didn't stop falling. I brought a hand up to his face, wiping them with my thumb. Watching my best friend cry hurt me a lot. He was too pretty to cry. Too pretty and too kind. He looked at me sadly. Then smiled very weakly. "Thank you, Soo."

I smiled back, faintly. But it faded soon after. "What happened?"

He hesitated a minute, then swallowed. He took in a deep breath. "Jongin overdosed. Chanyeol found him, and now he's on his way to the hospital."

If the world wasn't crumbling already, it completely did so in that one moment.

I became numb.

a/n

how about now? did i break le feels?